08-07-2025
'Lies and secrets': help for porn and sex addiction through sexaholic group
Newcastle Sexaholics Anonymous has started a new weekly meeting to help people with problems such as porn addiction.
The meetings are also for people addicted to dating apps, the OnlyFans subscription service or seeing sex workers, for example.
A spokesperson for the Newcastle group said it was a "12-step fellowship that addresses sex addiction".
"We're trying to let the community know our group exists," the spokesperson said.
"When you say the words 'sex addiction', people look terrified. There's a huge stigma.
"Most people with a sex addiction are high functioning, with good jobs and family lives. It's not what people would expect."
The group meets weekly on Monday nights. A second weekly meeting has started on Sunday nights and on Zoom to meet demand.
A member of the Newcastle group shared his story to raise awareness of the issue.
"I started to use internet porn and dating sites as a way to cope with a break-up," he said.
"It took over my life. At night after work, I'd say to myself I'd only watch one video, but I wouldn't stop until 3am or 4am.
"Internet porn was like crack cocaine to me. It sets off endorphins. It's like gambling."
He saw a drug and alcohol counsellor because "I knew I was screwed up and something wasn't right, spending all these hours on the computer".
The counsellor told him, "You're just like any male who likes to have sex".
This made him feel worse.
"I knew in my heart I had a problem," he said.
A friend told him about Sexaholics Anonymous Australia.
"I started going to meetings and related to what was being said. From the second meeting, I gave up internet pornography and dating sites."
He was also concerned about "the way I was looking at and talking to women".
"I was flirting with women too much. I had to eventually give that up.
"Ever since then, I haven't really looked back. I've been sexually sober for 11 years."
Being sober in this way doesn't prevent sex with a spouse.
However, it meant "I don't have to live a double life anymore".
He had stopped "the lies and secrets".
"I'm not spending endless hours on the computer or chasing women on dating sites.
"My life is 1000 times better. In our literature, it says you're able to look the world in the eye and stand free. You don't have guilt and shame."
He said Australia was "a million miles behind when it comes to talking about this sort of stuff".
"There are meetings everywhere in Europe and the US."
A NSW parliamentary inquiry is examining the "Impacts of harmful pornography on mental, emotional and physical health".
Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, said "incidentally or otherwise, young people are viewing pornography at the average age of 13 in Australia".
"There is evidence to suggest that pornography is negatively affecting the way young people approach relationships," Ms Contos said.
"Young people deserve access to comprehensive sex education that helps them develop healthy, consensual intimate relationships.
"They also deserve safeguards that can reduce the accessibility of pornographic content online, including through the use of age verification technology."
A NSW government submission to the inquiry said pornography was associated with "sexual violence and risky sexual practices".
It was also linked to "significant mental health impacts including increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression".
Newcastle Sexaholics Anonymous has started a new weekly meeting to help people with problems such as porn addiction.
The meetings are also for people addicted to dating apps, the OnlyFans subscription service or seeing sex workers, for example.
A spokesperson for the Newcastle group said it was a "12-step fellowship that addresses sex addiction".
"We're trying to let the community know our group exists," the spokesperson said.
"When you say the words 'sex addiction', people look terrified. There's a huge stigma.
"Most people with a sex addiction are high functioning, with good jobs and family lives. It's not what people would expect."
The group meets weekly on Monday nights. A second weekly meeting has started on Sunday nights and on Zoom to meet demand.
A member of the Newcastle group shared his story to raise awareness of the issue.
"I started to use internet porn and dating sites as a way to cope with a break-up," he said.
"It took over my life. At night after work, I'd say to myself I'd only watch one video, but I wouldn't stop until 3am or 4am.
"Internet porn was like crack cocaine to me. It sets off endorphins. It's like gambling."
He saw a drug and alcohol counsellor because "I knew I was screwed up and something wasn't right, spending all these hours on the computer".
The counsellor told him, "You're just like any male who likes to have sex".
This made him feel worse.
"I knew in my heart I had a problem," he said.
A friend told him about Sexaholics Anonymous Australia.
"I started going to meetings and related to what was being said. From the second meeting, I gave up internet pornography and dating sites."
He was also concerned about "the way I was looking at and talking to women".
"I was flirting with women too much. I had to eventually give that up.
"Ever since then, I haven't really looked back. I've been sexually sober for 11 years."
Being sober in this way doesn't prevent sex with a spouse.
However, it meant "I don't have to live a double life anymore".
He had stopped "the lies and secrets".
"I'm not spending endless hours on the computer or chasing women on dating sites.
"My life is 1000 times better. In our literature, it says you're able to look the world in the eye and stand free. You don't have guilt and shame."
He said Australia was "a million miles behind when it comes to talking about this sort of stuff".
"There are meetings everywhere in Europe and the US."
A NSW parliamentary inquiry is examining the "Impacts of harmful pornography on mental, emotional and physical health".
Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, said "incidentally or otherwise, young people are viewing pornography at the average age of 13 in Australia".
"There is evidence to suggest that pornography is negatively affecting the way young people approach relationships," Ms Contos said.
"Young people deserve access to comprehensive sex education that helps them develop healthy, consensual intimate relationships.
"They also deserve safeguards that can reduce the accessibility of pornographic content online, including through the use of age verification technology."
A NSW government submission to the inquiry said pornography was associated with "sexual violence and risky sexual practices".
It was also linked to "significant mental health impacts including increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression".
Newcastle Sexaholics Anonymous has started a new weekly meeting to help people with problems such as porn addiction.
The meetings are also for people addicted to dating apps, the OnlyFans subscription service or seeing sex workers, for example.
A spokesperson for the Newcastle group said it was a "12-step fellowship that addresses sex addiction".
"We're trying to let the community know our group exists," the spokesperson said.
"When you say the words 'sex addiction', people look terrified. There's a huge stigma.
"Most people with a sex addiction are high functioning, with good jobs and family lives. It's not what people would expect."
The group meets weekly on Monday nights. A second weekly meeting has started on Sunday nights and on Zoom to meet demand.
A member of the Newcastle group shared his story to raise awareness of the issue.
"I started to use internet porn and dating sites as a way to cope with a break-up," he said.
"It took over my life. At night after work, I'd say to myself I'd only watch one video, but I wouldn't stop until 3am or 4am.
"Internet porn was like crack cocaine to me. It sets off endorphins. It's like gambling."
He saw a drug and alcohol counsellor because "I knew I was screwed up and something wasn't right, spending all these hours on the computer".
The counsellor told him, "You're just like any male who likes to have sex".
This made him feel worse.
"I knew in my heart I had a problem," he said.
A friend told him about Sexaholics Anonymous Australia.
"I started going to meetings and related to what was being said. From the second meeting, I gave up internet pornography and dating sites."
He was also concerned about "the way I was looking at and talking to women".
"I was flirting with women too much. I had to eventually give that up.
"Ever since then, I haven't really looked back. I've been sexually sober for 11 years."
Being sober in this way doesn't prevent sex with a spouse.
However, it meant "I don't have to live a double life anymore".
He had stopped "the lies and secrets".
"I'm not spending endless hours on the computer or chasing women on dating sites.
"My life is 1000 times better. In our literature, it says you're able to look the world in the eye and stand free. You don't have guilt and shame."
He said Australia was "a million miles behind when it comes to talking about this sort of stuff".
"There are meetings everywhere in Europe and the US."
A NSW parliamentary inquiry is examining the "Impacts of harmful pornography on mental, emotional and physical health".
Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, said "incidentally or otherwise, young people are viewing pornography at the average age of 13 in Australia".
"There is evidence to suggest that pornography is negatively affecting the way young people approach relationships," Ms Contos said.
"Young people deserve access to comprehensive sex education that helps them develop healthy, consensual intimate relationships.
"They also deserve safeguards that can reduce the accessibility of pornographic content online, including through the use of age verification technology."
A NSW government submission to the inquiry said pornography was associated with "sexual violence and risky sexual practices".
It was also linked to "significant mental health impacts including increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression".
Newcastle Sexaholics Anonymous has started a new weekly meeting to help people with problems such as porn addiction.
The meetings are also for people addicted to dating apps, the OnlyFans subscription service or seeing sex workers, for example.
A spokesperson for the Newcastle group said it was a "12-step fellowship that addresses sex addiction".
"We're trying to let the community know our group exists," the spokesperson said.
"When you say the words 'sex addiction', people look terrified. There's a huge stigma.
"Most people with a sex addiction are high functioning, with good jobs and family lives. It's not what people would expect."
The group meets weekly on Monday nights. A second weekly meeting has started on Sunday nights and on Zoom to meet demand.
A member of the Newcastle group shared his story to raise awareness of the issue.
"I started to use internet porn and dating sites as a way to cope with a break-up," he said.
"It took over my life. At night after work, I'd say to myself I'd only watch one video, but I wouldn't stop until 3am or 4am.
"Internet porn was like crack cocaine to me. It sets off endorphins. It's like gambling."
He saw a drug and alcohol counsellor because "I knew I was screwed up and something wasn't right, spending all these hours on the computer".
The counsellor told him, "You're just like any male who likes to have sex".
This made him feel worse.
"I knew in my heart I had a problem," he said.
A friend told him about Sexaholics Anonymous Australia.
"I started going to meetings and related to what was being said. From the second meeting, I gave up internet pornography and dating sites."
He was also concerned about "the way I was looking at and talking to women".
"I was flirting with women too much. I had to eventually give that up.
"Ever since then, I haven't really looked back. I've been sexually sober for 11 years."
Being sober in this way doesn't prevent sex with a spouse.
However, it meant "I don't have to live a double life anymore".
He had stopped "the lies and secrets".
"I'm not spending endless hours on the computer or chasing women on dating sites.
"My life is 1000 times better. In our literature, it says you're able to look the world in the eye and stand free. You don't have guilt and shame."
He said Australia was "a million miles behind when it comes to talking about this sort of stuff".
"There are meetings everywhere in Europe and the US."
A NSW parliamentary inquiry is examining the "Impacts of harmful pornography on mental, emotional and physical health".
Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, said "incidentally or otherwise, young people are viewing pornography at the average age of 13 in Australia".
"There is evidence to suggest that pornography is negatively affecting the way young people approach relationships," Ms Contos said.
"Young people deserve access to comprehensive sex education that helps them develop healthy, consensual intimate relationships.
"They also deserve safeguards that can reduce the accessibility of pornographic content online, including through the use of age verification technology."
A NSW government submission to the inquiry said pornography was associated with "sexual violence and risky sexual practices".
It was also linked to "significant mental health impacts including increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression".
