09-05-2025
It's Military Spouse Appreciation Day: Here's What Three Military Spouses Want You to Know
Many people understand the hard work, bravery and selflessness that members of the military dedicate to their service.
But not as many understand the scope of the sacrifice their spouses make behind the scenes to support the service members they love. In honor of Military Spouse Appreciation Day on May 9, PEOPLE spoke with a few military spouses on the invisible struggles they face.
"We take on the role of maintaining equilibrium amidst war," said Allison Goodrich, whose spouse has served in the Marine Corps for 17 years.
Military spouses are tasked with managing "the mental load of war," Goodrich said. She described the anxiety of managing a household while checking the news, wondering if their spouse is safe.
"When you see the news, whether it's combat, a tragic aviation crash, or whispers of what's to come, the first person who absorbed that news was a military spouse," Goodrich said.
"The fear of the knock at the door," as Kristy Willis called it, compounds on top of the stress of running a household alone. Willis' spouse has served Army Special Operation Command for 24 years.
"We have seen this happen to those close to us and have grieved these losses, which makes the fear even more relevant and constantly felt," Willis said.
And even on a more day-to-day level, these spouses are often raising families alone for long stretches of time, often in a new or unfamiliar location where they don't have built-in networks.
This is true of Katie Moore, whose husband, Nick, has served in the Navy for 20 years. They've been stationed on the East Coast for the entirety of Nick's service, 3,000 miles away from their family.
This isolation isn't uncommon for military spouses, and it can put them in difficult situations — like putting a new neighbor as an emergency contact on their child's school forms.
"In any other circumstance, I would never place a complete stranger on such an important form," Moore said. "But when you're a military spouse, isolated from family and support systems, sometimes a name, any name, is your only option."
Other military spouses constantly move around, making it difficult to put down roots anywhere.
"Always needing to live in constant transition has been hard for me," Willis said.
But these unchangeable circumstances don't stop military spouses from taking charge of their own lives.
"Military spouses run their homes, communities, small businesses and America's classrooms," Willis said. "There is so much more to these women than what most take the time to see."
Goodrich, Willis and Moore have all sought the support of the Station Foundation, which gives support to not just members of the Special Operations Forces as they reintegrate back into civilian life, but to their families as well.
"I saw the need firsthand in my own home. And when I finally lifted my head and looked around, I realized I wasn't alone." said Shannon Stacy, the director of programs at the Station Foundation. Stacy founded the organization with her husband, who served in the special forces.
Stacy found that there wasn't space for military spouses to share their stories, especially those whose partners were in the special forces.
"The situations they've lived through — things most people never have to face — stay buried. Imagine being in your twenties, helping your friend choose an urn for her husband who didn't make it home," Stacy said. "The emotional toll runs deep."
Even beyond supporting impactful programs like the Station, there are plenty of ways to assist a military spouse in your life.
"You can invite a military family over for breakfast during a deployment, plan an outdoor movie night with your neighbors, offer to swap childcare duties for an afternoon so a military spouse can get to an appointment, drop off flowers on a holiday, offer the kids a ride to school, bring a meal, mow your neighbor's lawn, or bring the trash cans in," Goodrich suggested.
Small but meaningful ways to thank those in the military and their spouses for their service.
Read the original article on People
