04-07-2025
Still waters run deep, guiding clear decisions
Calmness gives us the clarity to choose not just wisely, but with the heart. — Photo from / Berend de Kort
THERE are days when even the smallest choices, like what to wear or what to eat, suddenly feel heavier than they should.
These moments seem minor, but when you are already stretched thin, they add up.
Then there are the big decisions – the ones that stay in your mind, looping endlessly.
Choosing a career, starting over, facing a health decision: these aren't just choices – they are crossroads.
Stress has a way of making everything seem more complicated. It clouds your judgement, narrows your perspective, and before you know it, even simple decisions start to feel overwhelming.
And when you are overwhelmed, the anxiety or pressure can be so intense that you end up reacting on impulse, saying things you don't mean, or overlooking things you normally wouldn't miss.
That is why there is truth in the saying: 'Still waters run deep.'
It is a quiet reminder that calmness often comes from a place of wisdom and reflection.
When you slow down, you give yourself the space to think more clearly, and often, more kindly too.
The good news? It doesn't have to feel so hard all the time.
Simple things like breathing deeply, practising mindfulness, or just giving yourself a moment to pause can make a real difference.
These little acts of care help steady us, so we are not making decisions from a place of panic, but a place of peace.
Speaking of finding calm in chaos, this reminds me of a book I recently read: 'The Seven Year Slip' by Ashely Poston.
In it, we meet Clementine, a publicist mourning the loss of her beloved aunt. She moves into her aunt's New York apartment, one that mysteriously slips through time.
As Clementine navigates this magical, emotional space, she is forced to face her past, question her present, and reimagine her future.
I see the story as a tender, whimsical reminder that healing takes time, and that sometimes the best decisions come when we stop rushing and start feeling.
Because whether it is life-changing choices or what to have for lunch, calmness gives us the clarity to choose not just wisely, but with the heart.
Clementine finds her own gentle, thoughtful ways to move through life challenges.
She doesn't rush decisions. Instead, she takes time to reflect, using the magical time-slip apartment to revisit moments from her past.
This journey into her memories helps her face emotions that she hasn't fully processed, and in doing so, she begins to understand more clearly what she truly wants and fears.
That kind of self-awareness helps her step more confidently into her future.
Of course, we know that in real life, time only moves in one direction – forward.
So, we can't literally 'go back'.
But what is deeply relatable is Clementine's emotional journey.
We all have moments in our past that shape us, and like her, we sometimes need to revisit them in our minds and hearts to understand ourselves better and find peace.
Sometimes, healing starts with looking back, not just at the big moments, but at the quiet, overlooked ones where feelings were left unresolved.
By acknowledging those emotions and understanding where they come from, we begin to make peace with the past and move forward with greater clarity.
At first, Clementine buries herself in work, avoiding vulnerability after the loss of her aunt.
But the apartment gives her a rare chance to connect with an unexpected individual from seven years ago.
Through this connection, Clementine slowly confronts her grief, her fear of change, and her hesitation to open up emotionally.
As she reconnects with forgotten passions like painting, she begins to re-evaluate her choices, her relationships, and what truly matters.
What does this teach us?
The less we repress, the more we understand ourselves.
And often, the first step in letting go is simply allowing ourselves to feel.
Lately, I have found myself focusing a lot on emotions in my writing.
I believe it is because emotions lie at the heart of what it means to be human, which is a recurring theme in my column.
They help us understand ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.
I have had my share of feeling overwhelmed by emotions, and I have learned to let them move through me instead of holding on.
It has made them easier to manage, and that is why stories that explore emotional depth feel so relatable.
Emotions are powerful; they hold valuable insights, but they can also judge our judgement if we are not careful.
So, the real challenge is: how do we listen to our emotions without letting them take over?
When I am feeling strong emotion, like frustration, fear, or shame, I pause.
I know I can't make good decisions in that state, so I give myself space.
Sometimes I will say: 'I need time to process this; I'll get back to you.'
Sometimes I talk to myself through it: 'What if they're not trying to hurt me, but just handling their own stress badly? What if I'm only seeing part of the picture right now?'
There is rarely just one perspective, and stepping back helps me see more clearly.
There is wisdom, too, in what James 1:2 says: 'Consider it nothing but joy when you face trials,' – not because it is easy, but because those challenges shape us.
When we meet stress with calm and trust, we don't just make better decisions; we make wiser ones, rooted in patience, growth, and grace.
Ultimately, when we meet our emotions with calm and kindness, they become guides that lead to clearer thinking and wiser decisions.
How might your life change if you allowed yourself that space to feel and reflect?
* The writer is a psychology graduate who enjoys sharing about how the human mind views the world. For feedback, email to [email protected].
