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Manipulative Questions People Who Want To Control You Ask
Manipulative Questions People Who Want To Control You Ask

Yahoo

time02-07-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Yahoo

Manipulative Questions People Who Want To Control You Ask

We live in an age where conversation can often feel like a chess match, each move calculated for maximum effect. Ever found yourself walking away from a chat feeling strangely off-kilter? That may be because people use subtle tactics to steer your thoughts and decisions without you even realizing it. Here, we delve into the art of the manipulative question—a tactic employed by the most cunning conversationalists. You've spent time meticulously selecting your outfit, and then someone drops this little bomb. It's not just a question; it's a seed of doubt planted in your mind, leaving you second-guessing your choice. According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts, these types of questions thrive on undermining self-esteem and sowing insecurity. The goal is simple: make you question your taste, your originality, and your confidence. The real power in this question is its insidiousness. It's a veiled judgment wrapped in faux curiosity, implying that you've made the wrong choice without explicitly saying so. This kind of question can derail your self-assuredness in an instant, making you doubt your own decisions. When confronted with this question, pause and remind yourself that your choices are valid and that someone else's opinion doesn't define your worth. Comparison, they say, is the thief of joy, and this question is the pickpocket in action. It invites you to measure yourself against someone else, setting the stage for an internal dialogue of inadequacy. The real kicker? It's often posed under the guise of admiration for the third party, making it even harder to call out the manipulation at play. When you're faced with this type of inquiry, notice the emotional reaction it triggers. It's designed to make you feel less than, to question your own intelligence and capabilities. It's a deliberate attempt to skew the power dynamics of the conversation, positioning you as inferior. Recognize it for what it is—a tactic to disarm—and refuse to buy into the narrative. Ouch. This question is designed to cut deep, often leaving you defensively scrambling for evidence that you do, in fact, listen. Dr. John M. Grohol, founder of Psych Central, explains that such questions can create a false narrative of neglect or disinterest. It's a classic tactic to shift blame and guilt onto you, making you feel as though you're failing in the relationship. The emotional sting of this question often blinds you to its true purpose: control. By positioning you as the one at fault, it diverts attention away from the accuser's shortcomings or miscommunications. You're left questioning your own actions and intentions, often when there's no tangible reason to do so. The next time you're hit with this question, pause and consider whether it's really about your behavior or the other person's need for validation. This question is the dream-crusher, lurking in the shadows of your aspirations. Its sole intent is to make you doubt your capabilities and question your ambitions. It hints that your goals are beyond your reach, planting seeds of uncertainty that can grow into full-blown self-doubt. By implying you lack the necessary skills or experience, the question challenges you to justify your dreams. It's a manipulative tactic that can make you feel as though you're overreaching, attempting something beyond your grasp. Remember, ambition isn't a crime and doubt is a normal part of pushing your boundaries. Don't let a question rooted in insecurity deter you from chasing what you truly desire. Ah, the classic emotional dismissal. This question belittles your feelings by suggesting that they are an overreaction. Dr. Brené Brown, renowned researcher and author, asserts that emotional sensitivity is often mislabeled as a weakness when, in reality, it's a sign of deep empathy and intuition. Its purpose is to invalidate your emotional responses, making you question their legitimacy. When someone questions your sensitivity, it's their way of deflecting from the real issue at hand. It shifts the focus away from their actions and suggests that the problem is your reaction. This question is often a thinly veiled attempt to avoid accountability. Stand firm in your emotions and recognize that sensitivity is not a flaw but a strength. There's a subtle art to the phrase "overreacting," as it suggests your emotions are unjustified. The implication is clear: you're blowing things out of proportion, and you should dial it back. This question is a masterstroke in emotional manipulation, designed to make you feel as though your feelings are not valid. By questioning the intensity of your reaction, the person skillfully deflects attention away from their own behavior. It's a tactic often used to silence dissent and maintain control of the narrative. When confronted with this question, take a step back and assess your emotions objectively before conceding ground. Your feelings matter, and acknowledging them is the first step to owning your narrative. A question like this often comes with a stinging undertone, implying that you're self-centered. It's a manipulative pivot, turning the conversation away from the original topic and painting you as the narcissist. Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, highlights how self-awareness is unfairly weaponized in such instances, detracting from constructive dialogue. This question is a deflective tactic, shifting blame and spotlighting your behavior as problematic. It minimizes your perspective, suggesting that your concerns are trivial or misplaced. It's crucial to maintain your sense of self-awareness and recognize when someone's trying to derail a conversation. Don't allow the manipulation to redefine the narrative; your voice and concerns are valid. This question is the emotional equivalent of a slap on the wrist. It implies that you're exaggerating the situation, making a mountain out of a molehill. Often, it's used to invalidate your feelings, suggesting that your emotional response is unwarranted. When someone accuses you of being dramatic, they are often attempting to diminish your experience. It's a tactic that shifts the focus from the issue at hand to your reaction, casting you in a negative light. The goal is to make you doubt your feelings and second-guess your instincts. Stand firm in your truth and remember that acknowledging your emotions is the first step to resolving any issue. This question is often wielded to underline a perceived lack of appreciation. It suggests that you're ungrateful for what you have, subtly nudging you toward feelings of guilt. Manipulative at its core, it aims to make you overlook any shortcomings or grievances you might have. When confronted with this question, it's easy to fall into the trap of self-recrimination. You start weighing your worth against what you should be grateful for, blurring the lines of your valid feelings and concerns. It's a clever tactic to keep you in check and deter you from raising issues. Stand your ground, and remember that gratitude doesn't negate the legitimacy of your feelings or experiences. This question masquerades as a concern but is often a cover for doubt. It's a subtle attempt to undermine your decision-making by suggesting that you haven't thought things through. The implication is that someone, presumably wiser, knows better. The power of this question lies in its ability to inject uncertainty into your plans. It's designed to make you second-guess yourself and reconsider your choices. However, remember that your decisions are yours to make, and mistakes are just lessons in disguise. Trust your instincts and recognize this question for what it is—an attempt to sway your resolve. Here's a question that carries the weight of moral judgment. It implies that your actions or desires put you at odds with what's deemed 'right' or 'considerate.' This query is a clever maneuver, as it leverages societal expectations to manipulate your behavior. The accusation of selfishness is a powerful one, often leaving you scrambling to prove otherwise. It's designed to force you into a corner, compelling you to reevaluate your priorities and possibly forego your desires. When faced with this question, remind yourself that self-care isn't synonymous with selfishness. You have every right to pursue what makes you happy, and your needs are important. Ah, the age card—a manipulative mainstay that subtly undermines your choices based on your age. It posits that certain things are only appropriate for specific age brackets, dismissing your desires or goals. This question is designed to pigeonhole you, corralling your ambitions into predefined societal norms. It's a cunning tactic to make you question your choices and reconsider your ambitions. By suggesting you're out of sync with what's 'appropriate' for your age, it aims to diminish your enthusiasm. Remember, age is just a number, and it holds no bearing on your capacity to achieve what you desire. Don't let this question deter you from pursuing what you are passionate about. This question is the ultimate blame-shifter, implying that you've failed in some fundamental way. It's designed to put you on the defensive, making you shoulder the burden of responsibility. The hidden insinuation is that you could have prevented the outcome, casting doubt on your judgment and capabilities. By framing the situation as a personal shortcoming, this question serves to manipulate your perception of events. It's an attempt to deflect attention from the real issue, laying it squarely on your shoulders. When faced with this question, take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively. Recognize the manipulation and refuse to accept unwarranted blame.

‘Far reaching consequences' — UMass Amherst sounds the alarm amid federal uncertainty
‘Far reaching consequences' — UMass Amherst sounds the alarm amid federal uncertainty

Yahoo

time20-06-2025

  • Business
  • Yahoo

‘Far reaching consequences' — UMass Amherst sounds the alarm amid federal uncertainty

As the federal government cuts back on research and curtails foreign student enrollment, the University of Massachusetts Amherst is sounding the alarm and preparing for the worst, according to a Wednesday email from school administrators. All academic and administrative departments on campus have been asked to develop budget scenarios that include 3% and 5% reductions, according to the administrators. The departments are also being instructed to only hire for positions deemed critical to university operations. Hires that cost more than $50,000 must be approved by the vice chancellor or provost, the administrators wrote. UMass Amherst has already received $29 million less in federal research awards compared to this time last year, the university said. Read more: UMass Amherst delays maintenance projects to pay for expected federal cuts The institution receives about $180 million in annual federal research grants and contracts. With proposed cuts to a variety of federal agencies, the university could see a reduction in its annual funding by up to tens of millions of dollars, according to the university. For instance, as part of the $180 million in funding, during fiscal year 2024, the institution received around $51 million in facilities and administration costs, also known as indirect costs. However, the U.S. Department of Defense recently issued a new 15% cap on indirect costs. The university created the Research Continuity Emergency Matching Fund to support researchers who have been impacted by federal cuts. The institution has already committed more than $700,000 in salary and research continuity funding for nearly 50 graduate students, postdoctoral students and staff. However, the university warned it is 'not sustainable long-term' and that their focus 'must shift from terminated grants to those not being renewed.' UMass Amherst could also see a reduction in enrollment next academic year due to travel bans and visa terminations threatening foreign students and proposed reductions in Pell grants. 'These grants have helped nearly a quarter of our students access a world-class education while providing a direct investment by the United States in the future of its own economic, social and intellectual strength,' the institution said. 'Limiting our capacity to serve all students—regardless of means or identity — undercuts the mission of public higher education. Further, these threats compromise our ability to plan and operate effectively as a global institution in service to a community that has contributed immeasurably to our strength," the university said. The announcement from UMass Amherst comes after a Monday court order from a federal judge that told the Trump administration to restore more than 360 National Institutes of Health grants nationwide — including 20 grants previously awarded to the University of Massachusetts system. UMass Amherst is also part of a list of 60 higher education institutions under federal investigation for not protecting Jewish students from antisemitic discrimination and harassment. Columbia University is also on the list and had $400 million pulled by the Trump administration, canceling grants and contracts because of what the government describes as the Ivy League school's failure to squelch antisemitism on campus. UMass Chan Medical School in Worcester announced a hiring freeze, spending freeze and rescinded admissions for one of its biomedical science doctorate programs this week, citing ongoing uncertainty regarding federal funding. There will also be targeted furloughs and layoffs at the medical school, according to an internal announcement. The University of Massachusetts Dartmouth is requiring approval for hiring, limiting overtime and scrutinizing non-personnel expenditures, according to an internal announcement on Wednesday. Read more: As Trump cuts funding, these Harvard scholars consider leaving US — and academia 'To be clear, while these proposed cuts and actions pose a serious threat to all of UMass, they are not yet law. UMass, alongside partners across higher education, is actively working to push back on these proposals and advocate for continued support of our critical mission in service of our nation's scientific and educational enterprise,' the university said. 'That said, the proposals currently under discussion would have far-reaching consequences for universities nationwide. UMass would not be exempt, and no area of our campus would remain untouched by the effects of such cuts. Whether the cuts are as deep as described in the President's proposed budget, or are somewhat less severe, a more constrained budget is anticipated in the year ahead,' it said. MIT joins group of universities suing the DOD over funding cuts As federal funding cuts hit Harvard, a private investment firm and other donors step up 20 NIH grants restored to UMass system after judge rules against Trump admin Trump admin asks court to rule against Harvard without a trial Federal judge orders Trump admin to reinstate hundreds of NIH grants Read the original article on MassLive.

The secret to a longer life could be this old-fashioned English breakfast
The secret to a longer life could be this old-fashioned English breakfast

Yahoo

time15-06-2025

  • Health
  • Yahoo

The secret to a longer life could be this old-fashioned English breakfast

The best news in a long time is that a breakfast of scrambled eggs and fish — kippers, say, or smoked salmon — combined with a few cups of coffee isn't just a great way to start your day, but is also likely to make you live healthier and longer. So report two separate scientific studies. Israel-Iran clash delivers a fresh shock to investors. History suggests this is the move to make. I'm in my 80s and have 2 kids. How do I choose between them to be my executor? These defense stocks offer the best growth prospects, as the Israel-Iran conflict fuels new interest in the sector 'I'm 68 and my 401(k) has dwindled to $82,000': My husband committed financial infidelity and has $50,000 in credit-card debt. What now? 'He failed in his fiduciary duty': My brother liquidated our mother's 401(k) for her nursing home. He claimed the rest. Eggs — specifically egg yolks — and oily fish like herrings and salmon are rich sources of vitamin D, and new research published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition says that this vitamin, in particular, may help slow aging. Meanwhile, other research suggests that drinking up to 2½ regular cups of coffee a day can raise your chances of living longer and staying healthy — physically and mentally — in your senior years. What's not to like? The study on vitamin D, conducted among a population of older Americans by researchers at Mass General Brigham, the University of Massachusetts and the Medical College of Georgia, found that those who took a daily vitamin D supplement of 2,000 IU, or international units, a day — meaning 50 micrograms a day — experienced a significant benefit in a key area of cellular aging known as 'telomere shortening.' Telomeres are the crucial protective caps at the ends of our DNA strands (they are sometimes compared to the plastic caps at the ends of shoelaces), and they are critical to cellular health. They typically shorten as we age and as cells divide. 'We found that vitamin D3 supplementation significantly reduced telomere attrition over a four-[year] period … suggesting that vitamin D3 daily supplementation with or without n-3 FAs might have a role in counteracting telomere erosion or cell senescence,' researchers wrote. (This particular study found no health benefit from another prominent ingredient in oily fish, namely Omega-3 oils — but many others have done so.) Meanwhile, research unveiled at the annual jamboree of the American Society for Nutrition, held in the scientific hot spot of Orlando, Fla., finds that drinking up to 2½ cups of regular caffeinated coffee per day may help you live longer and healthier. Decaffeinated coffee and colas showed no benefits, they added. The researchers did not examine whether a healthy, life-extending coffee also includes, say, one of those extra-large 500-calorie desserts, complete with caramel syrup, sprinkles and whipped cream, which some people pick up every morning (at the drive-thru, so they don't have to walk to the counter). Hmm … what do you think? Some headlines have emphasized that the study found a health benefit only in women, but this is a bit misleading. The researchers didn't reveal a health benefit in men not because they couldn't find one, but because they didn't look. The study only involved following women — nearly 50,000 of them — over several decades. (One caveat is that some of the researchers involved in both studies teach at Harvard — so for about half of the U.S. population, this is probably just 'fake news.') The latest research adds to a growing accumulation of knowledge about what we should do if we want to raise our chances of living longer and healthier lives. Each individual study is open to challenges and queries, because they are always conducted in the real, outside world, where countless unmeasured factors will interfere with the results. You cannot genetically engineer 10,000 identical humans, keep them in a laboratory for 80 years and subject them to laboratory-condition tests over that time. But overall, the real-world results have tended to point in some clear directions. The big picture of how to lead a healthy lifestyle is best summarized by research into so-called blue zones, meaning areas of the world — from Okinawa, Japan to Sardinia, Italy — where scientists have found that people tend to live the longest and the healthiest lives. According to the Blue Zones Institute, based on what scientists and researchers have observed about people living in these areas, there are five key areas to focus on: eating a healthy diet; staying physically active; socializing with friends and family a lot; having some sense of purpose or higher belief; and doing things that lower stress. On the issue of food, the 'Mediterranean diet' tends to get the most scientific support: lots of fish, fruits, vegetables, nuts, legumes and whole grains; only small amounts of meat; and very little processed food or refined carbohydrates. I don't know if fish for breakfast is Mediterranean, or just old school. In Victorian England, breakfast staples in wealthier households included kippers and kedgeree. Kippers, also known back then as 'red herrings,' are smoked herrings. (You can buy them in cans in U.S. supermarkets, often from Canada. The contents can be heated in a microwave in seconds.) Kedgeree, almost unknown on our side of the Atlantic, is a cold dish involving fish, egg, curry powder and rice. Both may be acquired tastes. Personally, as I grew up with them, I find them both exquisite — and vastly superior to any sugared cereal. If these things make a comeback, as 'health foods' no less, it can only be good news. 'It might be another Apple or Microsoft': My wife invested $100K in one stock and it exploded 1,500%. Do we sell? My friend wants me to join in a political protest. I'm worried about my job. Am I a coward if I say no? My husband is in hospice care. Friends say his children are lining up for his money. What can I do? 'I'm not wildly wealthy, but I've done well': I'm 79 and have $3 million in assets. Should I set up 529 plans for my grandkids? My mother-in-law thought the world's richest man needed Apple gift cards. How on Earth could she fall for this scam?

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