Latest news with #ViktorFrankl
Daily Maverick
04-07-2025
- Health
- Daily Maverick
Navigating death with dignity: The imperative for meaningful conversations about palliative care
My intention is not to change anyone's mind on the deeply personal and complex issue of physician-assisted suicide (PAS). Rather, it is to offer insight into our world as palliative care professionals — both as representatives of the Association of Palliative Care Centres South Africa, and as individuals who walk alongside patients and families through some of life's most vulnerable and profound moments. We live in a society that tends to avoid conversations about death. We reduce it to suffering and we hide it away. Yet, it's in these very spaces where some of the most meaningful human experiences unfold. Engaging in honest dialogue about death and dying is not just helpful, it's necessary. We must sit with the discomfort — not to find easy answers but, rather, to start asking better questions. The article referenced above agrees on many points. We, too, acknowledge that palliative care is for all, and assisted dying is for very few. But here lies the tragedy. Out of 56.8 million people globally who require palliative care each year, only 14% receive it. And in South Africa, this picture is even more dire. Access remains limited, fragmented and underfunded. We are not dismissing the suffering of those few who may consider PAS, but we are profoundly concerned that the broader system is not yet equipped to care for the many. As palliative care professionals, we care for people with serious illness across all domains of their humanity — physical, emotional, cultural, social, and spiritual. Our work is not to remove all difficulty, but to make the experience of dying meaningful, and dignified. We believe, as Viktor Frankl once said, that 'suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning'. So how do we offer that possibility? Through intentional presence. By listening. By exploring the full scope of what our patients experience. When a patient expresses a wish to hasten death, we take that seriously, but we do not see it as a conclusion. We see it as the beginning of care — a doorway to deep, holistic conversations. What lies beneath that wish? Is it fear? Is it loneliness? Is it untreated pain, unresolved trauma, or existential distress? Low healthcare literacy This lies at the heart of our concern. While proponents of PAS may point to autonomy and individual choice, we must also acknowledge the conditions shaping those choices. South Africa remains one of the most unequal societies in the world. More than 80% of our population is uninsured. Despair and poverty exacerbate suffering. Our healthcare system is under immense strain, and healthcare literacy is low. In this context, how can we be certain that PAS will not disproportionately affect the vulnerable? Can we truly safeguard against coercion, subtle or otherwise? And another important question. Are we confident that our legal and healthcare systems are equipped to handle the complexity of PAS? In practice, our clinicians often spend as little as seven minutes per patient. In that time, how do we facilitate the kind of thoughtful, multilingual and culturally sensitive conversations that PAS requires? Who is present in these conversations, and how do we ensure that they are understood? There isn't even a word for euthanasia in isiXhosa. In African traditions, decisions around death are communal, not individual. Introducing a concept like PAS without respecting cultural diversity risks deep alienation. For those of us involved in hospice care, every day we accompany people through the final stages of life. We are present in those sacred, difficult and often transformative moments. Yes, there are cases where we ask ourselves if we missed something and could PAS have helped this person? But when we reflect deeper, we also recall what emerged in that time of waiting — healing conversations, long-awaited forgiveness, moments of connection that cannot be replicated or rushed. We don't romanticise death. It will always be hard. Yet, it can also be a time of profound human dignity. We have seen patients who, for the first time, felt truly seen; spouses who found purpose in caregiving; families who rediscovered each other and individuals who reached a place of acceptance, even belonging, at the end. These moments are why we fight for palliative care. We agree that autonomy matters. That's why we advocate for earlier conversations about treatment goals, values, and living wills. But autonomy is not only the right to choose death, it's also the right to be supported to live meaningfully until the end. We want everyone's voice to be heard, especially when they can no longer speak for themselves. So perhaps the question we must ask is not whether PAS should be legal, but whether legalising it in South Africa, at this moment, would do more harm than good. Are we ready for this? Have we done enough to ensure that no one chooses death simply because they had no access to dignified care? Palliative care does not hasten or postpone death. It affirms life and recognises dying as a natural process. And we continue, every day, to witness dignity, quietly and powerfully in the lives of those we serve.
IOL News
02-06-2025
- IOL News
Navigating the future: Embracing AI with Humanity and Purpose
Taking The Anxiety Out Of AI Explore how AI is reshaping our lives and the importance of integrating spirituality and wellbeing into our technological future. Reading "Taking the Anxiety Out of AI" felt like standing on the edge of a vast, unfamiliar landscape that is both exciting and, I won't lie, it's a bit terrifying. As someone who's a bit older, I've often felt overwhelmed by how quickly things are changing, especially with AI reshaping everything from how we work to how we see ourselves. But this book, much like Viktor Frankl's "Will to Meaning," offered me a lifeline, a way to look beyond fear and find a sense of purpose in this shifting world. What struck me first was how the journey begins with us, the human side of AI, rather than diving straight into technology and jargon. It starts with what makes us who we are: our minds, souls, emotions, and the intricate workings of the brain. These chapters resonated deeply, especially since I value spirituality and a holistic sense of wellbeing. There's a real invitation to 'begin the conversation about where we currently are as humans and move towards the technology aspect.' That felt like a breath of fresh air, a chance to reflect on my own story before getting lost in the whirlwind of AI. Flipping through the pages, I quickly realised this isn't just another manual on artificial intelligence or a dry, technical business guide. What makes it so different is the way it centres on people before technology even comes into the picture. The early focus on questions like 'What makes humans human?' nudges you to think about your values, your experiences, and what truly matters. That felt rare and refreshing in a world where so much writing on AI jumps straight into code, data, or economic impact. At first, I felt that familiar wave of anxiety. AI is moving at a dizzying pace, and the future feels uncertain, even for someone like me who's excited about these technologies. But the tone here is different. There's no rush to overwhelm you with complicated terms or predictions. Instead, the conversation gently shifts from your own story into the broader picture of technology's role in society. It feels like a deep breath before a leap, offering space to process and prepare rather than panic. When the discussion moves on to AI's impact on the economy and work, it doesn't lose sight of the human element. Instead of jargon, there's a focus on the practical questions I've held close to my heart: How will AI affect my role? What new skills do I need to learn? What mindset will help me not just survive but thrive? Seeing these concerns addressed directly made me feel understood. It's a conversation many of us need, especially as workplaces and identities shift under the influence of AI. What truly sets this apart, though, is the openness to what the author calls 'plural futures.' On page 166, there's a line that struck me: 'There is no one future and no single narrative when we are headed.' That was like a breath of liberation. It's an invitation to embrace uncertainty and recognise that the future isn't a single path laid out in stone; instead, it's a rich tapestry of possibilities. For someone like me, who loves AI but also deeply values spirituality and wellbeing, this pluralism feels incredibly freeing. It means I don't have to pick between technology and my values. I can weave them together to carve my own path. This also comes through in the way the conversation touches on careers and sustainability, not just in the environmental sense but how we build lives that are resilient, ethical, and deeply aligned with our purpose. The emphasis on 'key future mindsets' goes beyond survival; it's about growing, thriving, and contributing meaningfully. That really aligns with my belief that sustainability is about creating futures where people and the planet flourish side by side. Spirituality and wellbeing aren't afterthoughts here. They're woven throughout the narrative, reminding us that technology should serve humanity, not dominate it. This echoes recent research suggesting that when AI is combined with spirituality and wellbeing, it can foster holistic growth, compassion, and ethical progress. That's exactly the kind of future I want to be part of building. So how do we shift our perspective in this rapidly changing landscape? By accepting that many futures are possible, we free ourselves to be creative, adaptable, and hopeful. This isn't just comforting. It gives us agency. We're not just passengers on this ride; we're co-creators. That's a powerful mindset to hold onto, especially when the pace of change can feel overwhelming. This exploration spoke deeply both to my anxiety and to my hope. It reminded me that the future isn't fixed or predetermined. With the right mindset, a commitment to sustainability, and a grounding in spirituality and wellbeing, I can navigate whatever comes next and maybe even help shape it in a positive way. If you're someone who's excited about AI but also cares deeply about people and the planet, this feels like a wise and compassionate companion for your journey. It doesn't pretend to have all the answers, but it does give you the right questions and, more importantly, the courage to keep asking them. Reading through, I felt seen, not just as a worker or a tech user but as a whole person with values, fears, hopes, and dreams. The message here is clear: bring your full self into the future because that's where the real power lies. In a world rushing headlong into AI, this reminder feels like a gentle anchor. The future isn't something happening to us. It's something we shape, with courage, curiosity, and heart. And honestly, that feels like the most sustainable path of all. * Taking the Anxiety Out of AI can be obtained at Exclusive Books.
Forbes
29-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
From Gods To Code: A Brief History Of Human Meaning
How to find purpose in an age where even our thinking and creativity can be outsourced to AI. Fantasy Moon over ocean and mountain ridge, Far-side of the moon,Darkside of the Moon Human beings are wired to seek meaning — a subjective sense that life is coherent, purposeful, and significant (even though, in objective terms, it is none of that). From early cognitive psychologists like Jerome Bruner, who argued that we create meaning through narrative, to modern neuroscientists studying the brain's default mode network, the consensus is clear: Meaning isn't a luxury, but a psychological necessity. Indeed, meaning helps us tolerate uncertainty, make sense of chaos, and stay motivated through suffering. It also helps us make sense of ourselves and develop a sense of identity. Viktor Frankl compellingly illustrated that people can endure almost anything if they believe it has meaning. Referencing his own experiences in a Nazi concentration camp he noted 'Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. Neurologically, meaning activates areas tied to reward, self-reflection, and emotion, integrating experiences into coherent stories. It's not given to us — we construct it, and often defend it, especially during crises. Cognitive and emotional systems work together to build and sustain these frameworks — through memory, identity, and perceived agency. Empirical studies show people find meaning most often in relationships, purposeful work, personal growth, and even suffering — particularly when it's reframed. While past societies imported meaning from religion, tradition, or social roles, modern individuals must manufacture their own. This makes meaning deeply personal, but also vulnerable to fragmentation and disillusionment. In the age of AI, where work, creativity, and cognition can be outsourced, we risk losing traditional sources of meaning without obvious replacements. With its impressive repertoire of synthetic knowledge, creativity, and intelligence, AI is forcing us to rethink what truly makes us human (in the sense of our unique capabilities and skills), and what it means to be human in an age in which we outsource even our thinking to machines. If machines can perform the tasks that once made us feel useful, valuable, and unique, what's left for us to build a life around? Furthermore, what does it mean to be human if we can be without thinking? In every era, humans have asked some version of the same question: Why am I here, and what is this all for? It's the same existential riddle posed by philosophers and pop culture alike — from Nietzsche to Tony Montana, who, after climbing the capitalist mountain in Scarface, asks what's left beyond the pile of cocaine and paranoia. Or Citizen Kane's dying whisper of 'Rosebud,' a child's sled standing in for a lost, possibly meaningless life. While the human quest of meaning is perennial, the answers have changed as dramatically as our technology, politics, and hairstyles — from gods and rituals to careers and personal brands. As AI begins to take over not just our labor, but our thinking, our creativity, and our productivity, we're left asking whether meaning itself can be outsourced, and found just one click or prompt away. To understand the scale of this moment, it helps to zoom out — way out — and trace the evolution of meaning across time. Below is a brief intellectual history of what humans have lived for, and how those sources of purpose have shifted with each transformation in how we live and work. 1. Mythic & Tribal Meaning (Prehistory – 600 BCE) Slogan: We are one with the gods. In humanity's earliest chapters, meaning was not something you found — it was something you were born into. Life was interpreted through the lens of nature, spirits, and ancestors. The world was enchanted, alive with gods, totems, and unseen forces. Purpose was communal and ritualistic. You belonged to a tribe, you played your part, and the question of individual meaning rarely emerged. The collective mattered more than the self. You knew who you were by knowing where you belonged. Think of it as the original operating system for meaning — closed-source, pre-installed, and immune to customization. Opting out wasn't a philosophical stance; it was a death sentence or, worse, exile. Today, we call it "community." Back then, it was life. 2. Religious & Divine Order (600 BCE – 1500 CE) Slogan: My purpose is God's plan. With the rise of the Axial Age came organized religions that framed human life as a moral journey, guided by divine command. Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism all offered grand narratives in which human beings had cosmic significance. Meaning was found in obedience, sacrifice, and spiritual striving. The purpose of life wasn't invented by the individual — it was discovered in scripture. To live meaningfully was to live rightly, according to sacred law. Fulfillment came in service to a higher power. This was the theological equivalent of a franchise model: the rules came from headquarters, your job was to follow the manual, and if things went wrong, it was your fault for not having enough faith — not a flaw in the system. Think less personal startup, more divine bureaucracy: your life had a mission, but the job description was carved in stone. 3. Rationalism & Humanism (1500 – 1800) Slogan: I think, therefore I Enlightenment changed everything. Reason replaced revelation, and individuals became the new arbiters of truth. Thinkers like Descartes, Locke, and Kant argued that humans could construct meaning through intellect, ethics, and personal autonomy. The Renaissance celebrated the dignity of man; science opened new frontiers. Meaning began to shift from divine will to human capability. Life became a quest not to obey, but to understand — and to act morally out of reason, not just faith. Meaning was no longer handed down from the heavens; it was drafted, debated, and footnoted by men in powdered wigs. Humanity became its own mythmaker — the sole author, editor, and sometimes unreliable narrator of significance. It was as if the universe outsourced meaning to us, trusting we'd be rational (or at least confident) enough not to mess it up. 4. Scientific & Industrial Progress (1800 – 1945) Slogan: To work is to live. As revolutions roared and factories rose, human worth became increasingly tied to productivity. The industrial age recast people as workers — gears in the great machine of economic progress. Purpose was found in contribution: building, inventing, conquering, producing. Even philosophies of meaning (Marxism, nationalism, utilitarianism) took on a mechanistic bent. Labor was no longer just a necessity; it became an identity. Your job wasn't just what you did — it was who you were. It was the age when the soul clocked in. Humans became their CVs, and meaning punched a timecard. Fulfillment was measured not in prayers or principles, but in output per hour — a kind of existential capitalism where your worth was your work ethic, and vacation was moral suspicion. In a way, this was the analogue version of the digital revolution or data-driven capitalism. Meaning through the ages 5. Existentialism & Absurdism (1945 – 1980s) Slogan: Life is meaningless — now make it count. The aftermath of two world wars shattered many of the old certainties. God seemed silent, progress suspect. Philosophers like Camus and Sartre embraced the absurd: life has no inherent meaning, so we must create our own. This was the era of freedom and anxiety, where responsibility became the burden of the individual. Meaning was no longer handed down from on high — it was something you assembled from scratch. You were condemned to be free, and what you made of your life was entirely on you. It was as if the universe had ghosted you — no guidance, no purpose, just infinite autonomy and a vague sense that whatever you did next better be meaningful... or at least look good in a memoir. 6. Consumer Identity (1980s – 2000s) Slogan: I shop, therefore I am. As neoliberalism took hold, the market moved into the space once occupied by the sacred and the social. Identity became a product, and meaning was increasingly expressed through what you bought, wore, posted, and owned. Careers replaced work. Brands filled in for belief systems. You didn't just work a job — you crafted a meaningful lifestyle and aspired to becoming a brand. The rise of advertising, credit, and Facebook made meaning feel personal but hollow. Influencers emerged as human brands and sources of meaning. Consumption became performance, and success was measured in likes, logos, and LinkedIn endorsements. Our digital selves begun to subsume our real selves. 7. Wellbeing & Inner Growth (2000s – 2020s) Slogan: Find your truth. As burnout and disillusionment with materialism set in, a new quest began: inward. Meaning shifted from status to self-awareness, from hustle to healing. Mindfulness apps replaced religious rituals. Therapy-speak became a second language. Self-actualization became the new salvation. You were expected not only to work and consume, but to grow, evolve, and become your "authentic self." This era promised meaning through alignment — between who you are, what you do, and how you feel. This era of existential freedom—where meaning must be handcrafted from the raw materials of one's own psyche—was not without cost. As the contemporary philosopher Byung-Chul Han observes, we have transitioned from a society of repression to one of depression. No longer oppressed by external authority, we are instead crushed by the weight of limitless possibility. 'If you can be anything,' Han warns, 'then you must be everything'— a pressure that turns potential into paralysis. In the absence of fixed roles or inherited purpose, freedom becomes a tyrannical demand for self-creation. The individual is now CEO, brand, therapist, and motivational speaker all in one — like a one-person startup permanently pitching to an invisible investor called 'self-worth,' with exhaustion as the only guaranteed return on investment. 8. AI & Automation (2020s – → ) Slogan: I prompt, therefore I am. And now, we arrive at the present moment — a time in which AI, which had been in the making since the 1960s, finally woke up, going mainstream and beginning to absorb not just our labor, but our cognitive and creative functions. AI can now write, draw, analyze, strategize, and even empathize (or at least simulate it well enough to fool us). The very domains where humans once found purpose — problem-solving, innovation, self-expression — are increasingly shared with, or surrendered to, machines. We are no longer just workers or thinkers; we are prompters — directing generative systems that do the work for us. Meaning becomes mediated through interface. If AI can perform our jobs, generate our ideas, write our stories, even express our feelings — where does that leave us? Are we curators of meaning, or passive consumers of it? Can we still find fulfillment in being the prompt engineers of our own existence? Expertise is no longer about knowing the answer to many questions, but asking the right questions; and creativity, well, it is the human leftover to what AI can't do (or doesn't want to). The optimistic account is that our lives will be more fulfilling because all the boring and predictable tasks can be outsourced to AI; the pessimistic account sees us as the digital version of assembly line workers, training large language models on how to automate us, in the huge virtual factory called AI. 'Ctrl + Alt + Purpose: Rebooting Meaning in the Age of AI' Throughout history, every era has rewritten the script of human meaning — from divine decree to industrial purpose, from moral codes to personal brands. We once searched the skies, then the self; now, we consult the algorithm. Each answer reflected the technologies, fears, and fantasies of its time. But today, meaning has become strangely urgent. When machines can paint, write, and diagnose — even simulate empathy — what's left for us to be? If productivity no longer depends on us, why should purpose? Maybe this is the moment meaning finally stops being about output. Maybe our value isn't in what we produce, but in what we notice, nurture, or choose to care about — in the deliberate, non-automatable act of consciousness. Or maybe we'll just scroll past it, distracted by another synthetic dopamine hit. Either way, in a world where everything can be faked — intelligence, emotion, even purpose — the real danger isn't that AI will outthink us. It's that we'll forget the value of meaning altogether.
Time of India
25-05-2025
- General
- Time of India
How to build emotional strength and stop taking things so personally
The world is interestingly connected through technology and social connections, and opinions flow quite freely and unfiltered through social media, workplaces, and daily conversations, so it becomes effortless to take things personally. May it be a colleague's passing comment, a stranger's harsh tone, or a friend's silence, any of these could feel like a direct attack. This emotional habit of interpreting neutral or negative experiences as personal can take a toll on our mental health, confidence, and relationships. But in reality, most of what people say or do has nothing to do with us. According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, 'Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.' That wisdom, although simple in words, carries a powerful message that challenges us to look inward before reacting outward. Learning not to take things personally is not about ignoring people's feedback or becoming emotionally numb. It's about understanding that our value isn't determined by someone else's mood, words, or projections. To sail through and tackle situations like these, one must keep the following things in mind. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like 2025 Top Trending local enterprise accounting software [Click Here] Esseps Learn More Undo It's usually not about you Most people act from their own fears, beliefs, past experiences, or stress. When someone lashes out or behaves rudely, it's often a picture of their internal struggle, not your worth. Don Miguel Ruiz emphasizes, 'When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.' By identifying this, you can mentally separate your identity from someone else's behaviour and choose not to let it stay on your mind for long. Be carefully self-aware and have confidence in yourself When you have a strong sense of self-worth, external opinions carry less weight. You don't need constant validation when you're secure in your own values, goals, and identity. Building self-confidence takes time, but begins with identifying your strengths and accepting your flaws without shame. Ask yourself, 'Why does this bother me?' Often, our emotional triggers are reasoned in our own insecurities, not someone else's words. Take a pause before reacting T aking a moment to breathe before responding gives you power. That brief pause helps prevent emotionally charged reactions and allows you to analyse the situation practically. Is the comment really about you? Was the tone truly meant or just blunt? Practicing some meditation or quick breathing can help you create this mental space. As Viktor Frankl famously said, 'Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.' Do not have self doubt Not taking things personally doesn't mean tolerating bad behavior. If someone repeatedly disrespects you, it's okay to address it calmly or remove yourself from the situation. Healthy boundaries are about protecting your peace without blaming yourself or others. You can say, 'I'm not okay with that tone,' without spiraling into self-doubt. Practice detachment but compassionately Letting go of the need to be liked or understood by everyone is liberating and less heavy. This doesn't mean becoming indifferent or cold. Instead, aim for compassionate detachment, which means acknowledging others' pain or frustration without letting it shout down your self-image. It is important to always remind yourself that their opinion is not my reality. One step to a healthier you—join Times Health+ Yoga and feel the change
Forbes
15-04-2025
- General
- Forbes
Mastering Your Responsivity: The 4-Step Path From Stimulus To Response
Naira Velumyan, Ph.D., Communication/Relationship Coach, Etiquette Expert, Founder of the Academy of Social Competency. Our actions are triggered by various internal and external signals (stimuli). These signals may occur from verbal or physical interactions, ongoing or scheduled tasks, urgent requests, reminders, deadlines, etc., and it is important to master a timely and professional response to each of them for the best outcome. How fast and properly we respond to these stimuli is a matter of skills, time and consideration, depending on specifics. 'Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space, we all have the freedom to choose our response.' This powerful idea, originally expressed by renowned Austrian neurologist, psychologist and philosopher Viktor Frankl, gained widespread recognition through the works of prominent American educator, author and businessman Stephen Covey. His book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, with over 41 million copies sold in 40 languages, introduced the importance of pauses to manage our impulsivity and build thoughtful responses. Every day, we encounter various stimuli—people, events, conversations and challenges that prompt our reactions, initiating a so-called reactive behavior. This occurs when a response is automatic, subconscious and often emotionally driven. In this type of behavior, we, instead of thinking through a situation, react on impulse, which may often result in unintended consequences and even regrets. Reactive behavior can be triggered by both external and internal stimuli. The most common external triggers that I observe are: Life Dynamics: In today's society, quick reactions are just a way of being in tune with our rush-rush lifestyle. Since we are often expected to have and are rewarded for quick reactions, pauses may be misinterpreted as hesitation or weakness. Filling The Emptiness: Our fast-paced, full-of-stimuli life has made us used to constant 'noise,' associating silence or stillness with discomfort. To cope with this discomfort, we most often react on impulse before processing the situation. Manipulation Fostering Our Responses: Marketing and sales strategies are often aimed at eliciting immediate reactions. They reduce our ability to pause and process information rationally, pushing us to make impulsive decisions. Some of the most common internal triggers are: Emotional Tension: When emotions reach a peak, we need to release the pressure. By reacting to emotional tension, we get a temporary relief from this burden, even if eventually it leads to poor outcomes. Fear Of Losing Control: Tolerating uncertainty is hard, as the longer we wait, the more we get overwhelmed with doubts. This state is hard to cope with, urging us to react quicker, even if waiting or reflecting would be the better choice. Perception Of Threat: In situations of aggression, whether real or imaginary, a natural response is to fight back. While this is kind of a form of self-protection or protecting others, responding with another aggression before considering alternatives may result in unexpected consequences. The opposite of reactive is proactive behavior, which is based on an ability to reflect, predict, pause and make conscious choices based on our values and needs rather than immediate impulses, dictated by factors such as the life dynamics, feelings of emptiness, being subjected to manipulation, emotional tension and fear of threat. Research has identified cognitive control as a key factor in managing personal impulsivity. It refers to our ability to regulate our thoughts, behaviors and actions, aligning them with our personal goals rather than acting impulsively. Cognitive control plays a crucial role in restraining impulsive responses, ensuring that our decisions are thoughtful and context-appropriate rather than automatic and reckless. Cognitive control is based on a combination of different mechanisms, including attention, inhibition of immediate response, internally represented goals and response selection. These components, detailed below, can be beneficial if worked dynamically and in harmony rather than randomly. To embrace a combination of these mechanisms while ensuring they work harmoniously, consider the following four practical steps: 1. Attention: Pausing is not just a habit; it is brain training. Sharon Begley, co-author with Richard Davidson of The Emotional Life of Your Brain, has noted that 'attention is almost magical in its ability to physically alter the brain and enlarge functional circuits.' The more we take control of our attention, the easier it will be to embrace rationality over impulsivity. By deliberately pausing before reacting, we enhance self-control and emotional balance. 2. Inhibition Of Immediate Response: While pausing is often beneficial, Dutch psychologist Namkje Koudenburg found that it can trigger feelings of rejection and distress, pushing people toward impulsivity. Her research suggests that a four-second pause in conversations appears to be optimal—long enough to generate controlled responses but short enough to maintain conversational flow naturally and not feel or look rejected and stressed. 3. Internally Represented Goals: According to Marilee Adams, author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, adopting a conscious questioning mindset empowers us by shaping our behaviors and outcomes. Questioning helps us understand the world around us and why we do what we do. Therefore, when pausing for four seconds, ask yourself: What for? This question shifts focus toward purpose, fostering cognitive control and intentional decision-making. It directs attention to the future, ensuring that your next step aligns with your values and needs. 4. Response Selection: Finally, once the space between stimulus and response is firmly established, you can consciously shape your reaction, transforming you from a marionette of impulses into the architect of your life. As Viktor Frankl profoundly stated, 'The last of the human freedoms [is] to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.' Ultimately, this freedom of choice shapes our character, strengthens our resilience, saves valuable relationships and fuels our personal growth. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
