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Digital Trends
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Digital Trends
The best Mario Kart tracks, ranked
It might come as a bit of a shock if you haven't been paying attention, but Mario Kart is far and away the most popular Nintendo franchise. That's right, not even the mainline Mario games or best Pokémon games sell as many copies as this kart racer. With entries going back to the SNES all the way up to the Switch 2, there have been hundreds of tracks across the franchise now. The best tracks take full advantage of that game's mechanics, feature fun and colorful locales to drive through, and have popping soundtracks to keep the energy high. I've been playing this franchise since it first began and have poured an embarrassing number of hours into each mainline game. To justify that commitment, I'm ranking the 10 best Mario Kart tracks of all time. #10 Music Park – Mario Kart 7 Mario Kart 7 is rarely talked about anymore, which is strange because it added a lot to the franchise. This was the first widely online entry, plus it let us glide for the first time. I suspect the reason it kind of came and went is that the tracks were just okay for the most part. The one standout in my mind is Music Park. While the layout isn't especially inspired, the incorporation of instruments into the track is something I've never seen before. Bouncing off trums and driving over piano keys is a real treat. #9 Waluigi Pinball – Mario Kart DS First appearing in Mario Kart DS, Waluigi Pinball instantly became a fan favorite to the point where it was brought back in 7 and 8. As the name suggests, this track takes place inside a pinball machine where bumpers, balls, and flippers need to be avoided. It is a chaotic mess from every angle, but that's why we love it so much. It manages to be a fun course while incorporating pinball elements. #8 Ghost Valley – Super Mario Kart Can a race track ever be scary? I think so, and would point to Ghost Valley as a prime example. Set on floating wooden planks, this course is full of holes and railing blocks that disintegrate after one hit, so the course becomes more and more hazardous as the race goes on. There's an obvious but tricky jump for a shortcut that adds a great element of risk vs reward. #7 Baby Park – Mario Kart: Double Dash Sometimes it is the simple tracks that are the best. Baby Park is the Final Destination of Mario Kart courses. A simple racetrack may feel like a letdown compared to all the creative courses in the series, but it is basically the only one of its kind and is a great addition for when you want to have a more serious race without any odd stage gimmicks getting in the way. #6 Coconut Mall – Mario Kart Wii Who hasn't dreamed of racing through a mall on a go-kart? Just me? Well, Coconut Mall let me live out that fantasy and it totally rules. The incorporation of escalators that go in both directions to speed you up or slow you down, various stands in the plaza, and options to go on the upper or lower floors make it a very convincing mall and dynamic race track. No notes. #5 Yoshi Valley – Mario Kart 64 Technical tracks like Yoshi Valley only became possible with Mario Kart 64. This track demands a mastery of the drifting system with all its winding turns and sharp edges. I can't put it much higher than this simply because it isn't all that interesting to look at. It's just a brown canyon, after all, but a thrill to drive in all the same. #4 Koopa Troopa Beach – Super Mario Kart Beach levels are typically some of the best for 3D platformers, but not so much for racers. Sand and water aren't exactly great for driving, but Koopa Troopa Beach embraces that. The tropical vibes and music are on point here, but the skill in staying on the dry sand or knowing when to cut through the water makes it a standout course that returned in many future games. #3 Mount Wario – Mario Kart 8: Deluxe I love me a good snowy racetrack, and there are quite a few across the series to pick from. The one I always come back to, however, is Mount Wario. This ski resort level has all the thrills of speeding down a mountain, ducking through caves, and weaving through trees. It keeps things fun and unpredictable the entire way through. #2 Bowser's Castle – Mario Kart 8: Deluxe With one exception, Bowser's Castle has appeared in some form in most Mario Kart games. While each shares a similar theme of lava and various Bowser minions posing hazards, Mario Kart 8: Deluxe's version feels the most like a real castle and not just a castle-themed racetrack. This is a tough course, with lasers and tons of fire hazards, but finally making a clean break through it all is well worth the struggle. #1 Rainbow Road – Mario Kart World What else but Rainbow Road could take the top slot? That was almost a given, so the real question becomes which version would I pick? It might be some recency bias, but I do think Mario Kart World's take on this classic track is the best one yet. This is the final track you unlock in the game and has an extra bit of spectacle as it is placed high above the open world you've been racing across the game, rather than in the deep reaches of space. It feels more epic than ever before, while still being the ultimate challenge.
Spectator
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Spectator
I've got Donald Trump to thank for my unusual middle name
Never make a drunken bet. At about 3 a.m. one fateful morning, pre-pandemic and several bottles down, a friend and I made a wager on the outcome of the 2020 US election – he for Joe Biden, I for Donald Trump (who, at the time, looked like a sure thing). Then came lockdown, spiralling inflation and unemployment – and the rest is history. This wasn't a bet for money. Instead, it was stipulated that whoever lost would legally assume a new middle name. Being gamers of a certain vintage, we drew from the Nintendo canon. If my friend had lost, he'd have become James Edward Bowser Price. Should I lose, I would take on the middle name Waluigi. For the uninitiated, Waluigi is a decidedly second- or even third-tier baddie from Mario Kart, who wears dark blue dungarees and a purple hat. Having lost, I duly filled out the requisite paperwork and my friend came over to witness the deed poll being signed. Like Gandalf the White, I was reborn. No longer Madeline Mary Grant, but Madeline Mary Waluigi Grant. Being a woman of my word, there is no changing it back. Soon a passport renewal beckons and when I get married this weekend the vicar insists that, legally, the full name must be read out in church, which may prove a shock for my extended family, who don't yet know about this change of identity. As embarrassing as this may be, I do rather enjoy an unexpected or jarring middle name. Politics affords plenty: Keir Rodney Starmer, Mark Gino Francois, Richard Milhous Nixon. Some middle names are eerily prophetic. Unity Mitford had Valkyrie as hers. Coupled with the fact that she was conceived in Swastika, Ontario, nominative determinism begins to look undeniable. In terms of the politics of ordinary relationships, there is a perfect role for middle names as a sort of compromise zone. It is to the middle name you can demote a much-loved great-grandparent, schoolteacher or cat, still honouring them but without making your child walk around with a ridiculous name. It's not only an act of compromise with school bullies of the future, it's also an act of compromise with whoever has provided the other requisite slice of the chromosomes. You will have fond memories of Great Uncle Zerubbabel, but your significant other might not. A middle name is therefore the perfect compromise, preserving filial dignity and marital harmony. Should we have a son, my fiancé is agitating to inflict a variety of names on him. The current frontrunners are Banastre, Sacheverell or Chrysostom (after the most violent British commander of the US War of Independence, the clerical controversialist of the reign of Queen Anne and the great preacher of 4th-century Byzantium, respectively). I'm hoping for 'Edmund'. Happily, this is where middle names really show their utility. The real experts in this department were the Puritans, whose extreme derangement didn't stop at regicide. The already 'creatively' named Praise-God Barebone had a son whom he called Nicholas 'If-Jesus-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned-unless-Jesus-Christ-had-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned' Barebone. Must have been a nightmare for the school uniform nametapes.
