15-06-2025
Locals share their views on evolution of fatherhood
In the spirit of Father's Day, locals based in Pretoria have shared their views on the evolution of fatherhood.
They spoke on how the journey has advanced for men to go beyond the single expectation of serving as a financial provider only, but being present in various ways in their families' lives.
According to Castro Musinyali of the We Are Fathers, We Are Parents Forum, being a father no longer means just being a provider and being the 'head of the house'; it goes beyond the financial responsibilities and has a deeper meaning.
We Are Fathers, We Are Parents Forum engages and encourages fathers to be present and involved in their children's lives.
He said being a father in the modern day is defined as being willing to be involved in the daily activities of your children's lives and taking pride in it.
'We enforce and bring about the idea of fatherhood as being a present and engaged figure in your children's lives.'
He said the forum encourages fathers who are not there for their children to be present for their children, both physically and emotionally.
'Children do not grow on maintenance money only. They need both their parents in the different stages of growth.'
He emphasised the importance of challenging outdated norms that limit fathers to financial providers while placing the burden of emotional caregiving on mothers.
'Parenting is a shared responsibility, and as fathers, we are not just there to enforce discipline; we are there to love, to teach, and to grow with our children.
'Buy your daughter those sanitary towels, be there when they experience their first menstruation, talk to your boy about the growing hairs on his body, the hormones that they experience,' he said.
He noted that being a present father in a child's life has a powerful impact, as children thrive when they feel seen, heard, and supported by both parents.
Locals offered insight into how perceptions of fatherhood are changing and what it means to be a father in the modern day:
WATCH:
Kyle Gragor said the redefinition of a father is helping to shape better men for the future and strengthen the foundation of families.
He believes that for most men, redefining fatherhood also means confronting their past.
'Some of us grew up without fathers or with fathers who were present but emotionally unavailable. Now, we are working to be the kind of parents we never had.'
Daniel Mokoena, a father of five children, believes that the meaning of a father has changed for the benefit of society.
'In today's world, as fathers, we are changing nappies, cooking meals, and participating in the emotional lives of our children.
'I have seen how that kind of engagement has led to my children striving in their lives.'
Some locals expressed scepticism about the changing traditional fatherhood roles.
Pontsho Ntsoane (40) believes that men should remain role players who focus on handling the financial responsibilities in a household.
'I believe that the concept of dads being the head of the house is what keeps families together.
'Households are falling apart because women want to be in charge, and the thing is that we can never have the same discipline when it comes to being the head of the house.'
Sihle Ngwane said parents sharing the same roles is what causes conflict in homes.
'Sometimes, it's just hard for a father to do some things, which would've been done better by a mother and vice versa.
'I think, depending on my father for finances and my mother for emotional availability, helps me to know who I need to go to and for what.'
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