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Cosmopolitan
17-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
What Is Gooning? The Internet's Latest Obsession, Explained.
When we asked Chase Sui Wonders for her best relationship advice and she answered 'gooning on the first date' in her new Cosmo Quiz, I somehow doubt the I Know What You Did Last Summer star knew it would spark one of the most impassioned editorial debates the Cosmo conference rooms have seen in recent history. Late one afternoon, the Thursday before the Fourth of July holiday weekend, when the rest of the U.S. workforce was already checked out and/or blacked out, several members of Team Cosmo convened to discuss some of the most pressing questions of our time. What is gooning? What does it mean? Okay, but what does it really mean? Is anyone actually saying it—and what do they mean when they do? Is it a real thing or an internet trend—a controversial kink or an ironic bit of Gen Z slang? Most importantly, what do we think about it at Cosmo, given our decades of authority on all things sex and relationships? We did reach a consensus: Gooning is apparently many things to many different people. But at its most fundamental level, 'gooning' refers to the act of prolonged masturbation without reaching orgasm, often for hours on end and usually involving copious porn consumption. 'Gooners often enter a trancelike state—referred to as the 'goon state'—from being so close to climax and then pulling back right before they cum,' explains Zachary Zane, a sex and relationships expert for Grindr. Use of the term online dates back to at least 2005, but both the word 'gooning' and the act it describes seem to have gained popularity within niche internet sex communities in the 2010s, Zach Sweat, managing editor at Know Your Meme, tells Cosmo. In more recent years, however, gooning has entered the mainstream, spawning memes and explainers, generating discourse, and ultimately cementing its place in the lexicon of 2020s slang, which is what brings us all here today. This, as anyone who's been even Somewhat Online long enough will know, is pretty much a textbook example of what inevitably happens when an obscure internet thing becomes a mainstream internet thing: Its meaning evolves (or arguably devolves) as it gets filtered through various phases of virality. At this point, there really is no simple answer to the question 'What is gooning?' So here, instead, is a comprehensive guide to the term, its origins and evolution, and the various ways it's being used and/or potentially misused online today, because such is life on the internet. At its most basic definition, 'Gooning is the act of masturbating, typically for hours, until you reach a kind of meditative state,' explains sex and relationships psychotherapist Gigi Engle, a sex expert for 3Fun. It's often compared to an extreme form of edging—a sex act in which someone is repeatedly brought close to orgasm (either by themselves or a partner) without actually reaching it. 'Essentially, you continuously stimulate yourself for hours on end without reaching a climax in order to experience the 'goon state,'' Engle explains. Gooning is distinct from edging in that the latter can be done either solo or with a partner and may also involve a Dom/sub dynamic if one partner is using edging as a form of orgasm control over the other, while gooning is specifically an act of masturbation. But the main difference between gooning and edging comes down to context and intention. 'With edging, you're trying to gain a stronger and more robust mind-body connection,' says Engle. Whereas gooning is kind of the opposite: an attempt to zone out mentally and enter a trancelike state of porn-induced brain rot. The term itself is 'derived from the earlier slang 'goon,' meaning 'stupid person,'' Sweat explains, highlighting the emphasis on mental mush associated with the goon state. 'It's called 'gooning' because gooners often look silly, like a goon, when masturbating,' says Zane. 'It also relates to the 'gooner face' gooners make while gooning—a sign that you're in a trance and experiencing extreme pleasure. Gooners often look somewhat ridiculous: eyes crossed, mouth agape, tongue out.' Engle notes that not all gooners necessarily goon with brain rot in mind—some may very well find the experience mentally stimulating in some capacity. But in general, gooning is associated with a surrender to mindless self-pleasure. In this sense, the term carries something of a derogatory connotation, but it's one self-proclaimed gooners embrace. For some, an element of humiliation or degradation may even be part of the appeal, says sex coach Amanda Dames, founder of The Kink Consultant, adding that many online Dommes and cam girls tease and make fun of their gooner clients for being the gooners they are. Gooning often involves porn and may be done in 'goon caves,' which are dedicated locations sometimes decked out in pornography where gooners get their goon on. As a kink, gooning has a Very Online identity, with platforms like Reddit and FetLife hosting gooning communities that are home to millions of gooners. One of the most popular, the subreddit, r/GOONED, has skyrocketed from 900,000 members in 2023 to 2.4 million today, Sweat tells Cosmo. Gooners are (stereo)typically young men, and gooning seems to have some (nonexclusive) ties to the gay community—or at least to be particularly popular among gay men. 'As I understand it, gooning as a community was exclusively masc-gay until it crossed over with porn addiction fetishism in the late '00s, most notably on Tumblr,' a writer who goes by 'gooncultist' on X and Substack told Dazed. While none of the experts I spoke to for this story were aware of gooning having any specific origins within the LGBTQIA+ community, Zane notes that 'anecdotally, most self-identified gooners are gay or bisexual men.' He attributes this partly to the internet-centric nature of the community. 'Gay men will video-chat with other gooners, watching them stroke, and then also watch porn together. They may also goon with other men in real life, stroking one another but delaying climax for a long period of time,' he explains, adding that guys who goon together are often referred to as 'batebros.' Still, while the gooning community seems to be a predominantly male one, Engle notes that anyone of any gender can goon if they want to. Female/femme-identifying gooners even have their own subreddit, r/GoonetteHub, which boasts over 500,000 members. The exact origins of gooning may always remain a beautiful mystery, but the world's foremost internet culture archivists at Know Your Meme trace the earliest known use of the term online to a 2005 Urban Dictionary entry that defined gooning as, 'the act of…getting so into masturbating that the dude becomes at total goon; becomes stupid on his own cock.' According to Sweat, this initial use of the term to describe chronic masturbators/porn watchers continued to evolve and spread online over the next decade but remained relatively esoteric. 'The fetish itself seems to have become more prominent in the 2010s,' Sweat explains, citing an increase in searches for 'gooning' per Google Trends and the creation of the aforementioned r/GOONED subreddit in 2019. But the mainstream Goon Boom that brings us all here today didn't kick off until around 2020, when gooning started making its way into memes and a handful of explainers from publications like the now-defunct MEL Magazine, which reported on the trend in November 2020. 'It then saw organic memeification similar to how most other slang evolves: It starts in more underground communities, which then become more popular, eventually breaking into the mainstream through usage elsewhere online, especially via memes,' Sweat explains. Google searches for the term began to spike in 2023, per Google Trends data, prompting a flurry of explainers from mainstream publications. By the following year, the gooning era we're all living through now was in full swing. As is the case with pretty much anything that gains a certain level of traction online, gooning's entry into mainstream consciousness has generated its share of handwringing and internet discourse. Various headlines have warned about the 'dangers of gooning,' with criticism generally suggesting that gooning can cause erectile dysfunction and/or that the trend fetishizes 'porn addiction.' It's worth noting there's quite a bit of disagreement over whether 'porn addiction' is a real thing. But many experts, including Engle, hold that unlike other substance use disorders, 'porn addiction' is not a recognized diagnosis and is often weaponized by sex-negative individuals and entities to shame and stigmatize porn, sex, masturbation, and sex work while promoting conservative values rooted in religious/patriarchal mores. As for the erectile dysfunction of it all, I am not a doctor and encourage anyone curious about the potential medical risks of gooning to consult a licensed professional. But strictly from a cultural criticism perspective, I might suggest these warnings are more reflective of clickbait by way of fearmongering than earnest public health concerns. This is not to say that porn use in general or gooning specifically can never be problematic, but if it is, I'd argue it's more of a personal issue than the societal ill some critics make it out to be. 'If a man spends 20 hours a week masturbating, I could see why you might think this is maladaptive, obsessive, or addictive behavior,' says Zane. And the truth is, it could be! 'If a man is calling out of work because he's gooning, not seeing friends, shirking his responsibilities, or it is in some way negatively impacting other aspects of his life, then yes, gooning could be considered an issue and he should evaluate his relationship with it,' Zane adds. 'But if you spend your lazy Sunday afternoon gooning all day? Live and let live. It's not a 'problem.'' Meanwhile, on the other side of the spectrum, there seems to be some concern that, due to the emphasis on not reaching orgasm, gooning may mirror an alt-right ethos that promotes semen retention as a method of 'preserving masculinity' and is linked to incel culture and other 'red-pilled' corners of the internet. If gooning has been appropriated in these spaces, it wouldn't be the first time a kink fell into the wrong hands. But in my research, I haven't seen any overwhelming evidence to suggest gooning has crossed over to the dark side in any significant way—at least not yet. Overall, I think it's safe to say that gooning—as both a practice and a cultural concept—is simply not that deep. In general, Sweat says most gooning memes and mentions on social media are still using the term within the context of the kink/sex act it describes, if often humorously. However, others have suggested 'gooning' has taken on new meanings as a slang word in recent years. 'As seriously as gooning can be taken for pleasure-seekers and porn performers, gooning is also widely considered entirely unserious by people who use it as a colloquial saying,' journalist Quispe López wrote in an explainer for Them. 'Use of it in slang is often sprawling, liberal, and not related to sex at all—probably because it's just fun to say.' According to López, 'gooning' can be used as slang to express excitement or intense interest in something, while other uses lean into the absurdity of the word, deploying it more or less ironically to refer to more or less anything. Meanwhile, a Dazed explainer by Brit Dawson notes that the term has also taken on new meaning as 'an insult akin to 'loser.'' So, like I said, gooning can mean different things to different people. Which brings me back to Chase Sui Wonders' advice about 'gooning on the first date.' The newly annointed Cosmo girl and Emmy-nominated actor could have meant any number of things! Was she seriously pitching extended mutual masturbation as a first-date idea? We'd, of course, support her in that! Was she just saying something silly to be silly? It's also possible! Perhaps, like the true meaning of gooning itself, it's best left a beautiful mystery.
Vox
29-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Vox
Why is everyone crashing out?
is a culture writer interested in reality TV, movies, pop music, Black media, and celebrity culture. Previously, she wrote for the Daily Beast and contributed to several publications, including Vulture, W Magazine, and Bitch Media. It was abundantly clear to everyone that Huda wasn't doing well. Huda Mustafa, the breakout villain on Love Island USA's seventh season, spiraled after viewers voted to separate her from Jeremiah Brown, with whom she'd developed an intense connection early in the current season. Over several episodes, she eavesdropped on Jeremiah's conversations, interrogated the woman he was re-coupled with, and broke down repeatedly. Her despondent face became a viral meme. Viewers, and later Huda herself, had a simple and notably Gen Z explanation for what she was experiencing: The lovelorn reality star had officially 'crashed out.' Justin Bieber received the same label recently, for his strange behavior on social media and a viral standoff with paparazzi. While some of his fanbase voiced more serious concerns over the state of his mental health, many tagged the singer's antics as telltale signs of a typical 'crashout.' The catchall phrase is shorthand for the unfiltered actions of a person who is angry, anxious, confused, stressed out, or experiencing mental health issues. It can describe a range of behavior, from emotional outbursts to altercations to withdrawals. There are a lot of ways that 'crashing out' can look, but like obscenity, you know it when you see it. The term has floated around on the internet for a while now; Know Your Meme credits its popularity to rapper NBA YoungBoy, who used the term in his 2017 song, 'Stepped On.' Since the 2020s, the concept has been used both humorously and in earnest to discuss the fallout from issues as global as the state of the world, as personal as relationship or work stress, or as low stakes as struggling with a hairstyle. Practically any problem, big or small, can warrant a 'crashout.' One of the most striking things about the phrase is how general it is. Why is a generation raised on pop-psychology jargon, with more access to mental health resources and experience talking about their own needs, painting these episodes with such a broad brush? Is Gen Z abandoning traditional routes of managing their mental health, or has a burnout generation found a more radical way to cope? It's no secret that Gen Z is particularly stressed out. According to a 2024 Harmony Healthcare IT study, nearly half of Gen Zers struggle with mental health issues, with 1 in 3 taking prescription medication for mental health. Anxiety and depression are the most common conditions. The Covid-19 pandemic has been seen as a cause for the Gen Z mental health crisis, while other studies point to social media as a huge factor. Related When TikTok therapy is more lucrative than seeing clients Meanwhile, research suggests that Gen Z might be growing more resistant to traditional therapy. A study in the American Journal of Psychology this year found that 37 percent of participants born between 1997 and 2012 said that seeking counseling was 'mentally weak.' This was a higher percentage than the 27 percent of millennials, Gen Xers, and baby boomers that were surveyed combined. If therapy's relatively unpopular, social media is booming, and it seems like many teenagers and young adults have turned to their favorite influencers and online advice to get through tough times. On TikTok, for example, 'crashouts' are often encouraged as a necessary form of catharsis. Even if you aren't naturally experiencing these outbursts, users posit them as a quick and easy fix for stress and anger. One user, @masonblakee, posted a video of himself looking relaxed in a car with the caption, 'How it feels when you finally crash out on someone after keeping your mouth shut for a while.' Another, @gazellechavez, made a video sharing the supposed benefits of occasionally 'crashing out.' 'Once you hit rock bottom, there's only one way you can go — up,' she says. Still, professionals are more skeptical of these viral directives, as they're being confronted with them at work. Rebecca Hug, a clinical counselor and core faculty in clinical mental health counseling at University of Phoenix, says she regularly encounters clients who've 'absorbed the idea that emotional 'crashing' is a valid coping strategy.' 'This mindset discourages the development of essential skills like self-regulation, resilience, and perspective-taking,' Hug says. While she says these sorts of reactions are 'developmentally appropriate for teenagers,' it's a more crucial problem for people in early adulthood. New York-based psychologist Sabrina Romanoff shares similar concerns about these viral 'crashing outs,' saying that TikTok has become 'a double-edged sword for mental health.' 'On one hand, it's a space where young people can find validation and connect with people who share similar experiences,' she says. 'On the other hand, it's a platform with a high circulation of unqualified advice, often oversimplifying and promoting unhealthy ideas.' For instance, several videos frame the act of 'crashing out' on other people as a joyful and even empowering experience. But at what point do these emotional eruptions become abusive or signal one's failure in communicating with others? Romanoff adds that there's a danger to the internet automatically labeling these sorts of behaviors as 'crashouts' without acknowledging possible underlying causes. 'When we see repeated posts about these breakdowns, it can inadvertently create a culture where these moments are expected or even glorified rather than seen as a signal that something deeper needs attention,' she says. Prior to the 'crashout' trend, Gen Z had already built a reputation for publicizing their emotional meltdowns online. TikTok and Instagram Stories have become increasingly popular sites for influencers and average users to cry and vent. Hug says viral 'crashouts' reflect how 'emotional dysregulation is increasingly externalized and even socially validated.' Rather than having these intimate moments in private with friends or family members, users can receive immediate support from strangers that they may not receive in real life. This public sharing seems, in part, symptomatic of a loneliness epidemic affecting Gen Z. According to a Pew Research Center study this year, the cohort experiences higher rates of loneliness than previous generations. Related Why weeping online is internet gold However, vulnerability has also proven to be a recipe for virality and a strategy to build loyal audiences. Hug says the visibility of emotional struggles can 'blur the line between authentic expression and performative vulnerability.' Hence, there's an obvious incentive for certain people to discuss and post their crashouts. Not everyone may come from a particularly dire or desperate place. After all, Hug says that many of these posters' concerns seem to reflect 'normal developmental stress rather than clinical pathology.' Still, she says that it's important for young people to develop self-regulation skills and utilize mental health resources rather than normalizing these reactions under the guise of 'crashing out.' Unfortunately, emotional maturity doesn't get as many likes.
Yahoo
03-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
‘Holy Airball' Is a New Teen Slang Term That Actually Makes Sense
If you've been seeing 'holy airball' (sometimes with an f-bomb thrown in the middle) all over TikTok, then you might feel a little lost. Is this new teen trend something dirty? Something confusing or complicated to explain like Gurt? It's hard to keep up with the youths these days! Luckily for us, holy airball is a term that actually makes sense once it's broken down. One mom on TikTok @_bekahshopp20_ asked, 'what tf does #holyfknairball mean? Like I feel extremely confused.' In the comments, people came through for her, explaining that an airball is a term used in basketball. More from SheKnows Forget Summer School - These Free Harvard Courses Let Teens Explore Their Passions at Their Own Pace 'An airball is when you shoot a basketball but it doesn't go in/ it isn't close to the net at all,' one person explained. 'So the trend is about someone shooting their shot and being rejected (not making the shot). I hope that makes sense lol' Another person explained, 'in TikTok just like in basketball it means a misinterpretation or like a completely different thing from what ur talking about (basically a miss ).' Know Your Meme explained that the term derived from expressions of shock like 'holy cow,' using it to mean a huge misunderstanding of something another person told them. So in the trend, teens are sharing stories of how they are talking about something, and someone else completely misinterprets what they meant. It's usually joking or exaggerated stories, accompanied by Jeezy's 'Soul Survivor' on TikTok and usually accompanied by pictures or videos of the receipts to make it even funnier. Like this TikToker, who wrote, 'told her I love cheating.' Then, 'She said, 'me too I cheated on my ex.'' Then he shared a picture of his phone with test answers on it, showing that he was talking about cheating at school and not in relationships, adding '#holyfknairball' Another girl wrote, 'Told him I was going on a run. He said, 'oh I love girls who do cardio.'' She added, 'Holy air ball … I'm going on a run for Taco Bell,' with a picture of her holding a bag of tacos. Even celebrities have gotten in on the trend, like Julianne Hough. The Dancing with the Stars pro wrote, 'Told him I like to dance. He said 'oh cute, as a kid?'' '#HOLYAIRBALL' she added, with a video montage of her professionally dancing now. Teen slang is confusing for those of us born in the 1900s, so we've compiled a handy guide of all things we've heard Gen Z saying online and IRL. Check out the list HERE for more head-scratching terms and their meanings (… as best as we can figure out!).Best of SheKnows 26 Stunning, Unique Jewelry Brands & Pieces for Teens 19 Celebrity Parents With Trans & Nonbinary Kids 20 of Serena Williams' Most Adorable Motherhood Moments
