Latest news with #abuseawareness
Sky News
07-07-2025
- Politics
- Sky News
MP recalls childhood abuse as he calls for law change to make domestic abuse a specific criminal offence
Why you can trust Sky News An MP who decided until recently to "never speak" about the abuse he suffered as a child has shared his harrowing story so that "no kid has to go through" what he did. Josh Babarinde describes being physically abused by his mother's former partner from the age of four, and remembers crying himself to sleep under the covers "hearing shouts, hearing screams and things smash". He says he became hypervigilant growing up and felt safe at school but "like he was treading on eggshells" in his own home. The Eastbourne MP, who is also the Liberal Democrats' justice spokesperson, says his experience has driven his politics. He is calling on the government to stop abusers "slipping through the net" and being released from prison early. Opening up about his story in his twenties was "difficult" but looking back, Mr Babarinde says, he is "so proud of the resilience of that kid". The MP recently found his childhood diary containing Star Wars drawings alongside an entry he wrote from the bathroom. The diary, he recalls, wrote: "I'm really going to try to go (to the toilet) but I can't. Oh my goodness, I'm gonna be in so much trouble, I'm going to get smacked so hard." Then an entry five minutes later: "I still haven't done anything, I'm going to be in so much trouble." He says reading the entry reminded him of how "helpless" he felt. "It was mortifying," he says. "An abuser takes away your sense of self-worth." The 32-year-old is calling on the government to change the law to make domestic abuse a specific criminal offence. The change would mean, he argues, abusers can no longer effectively disguise their history under other offences like assault. He says the Ministry of Justice's early release scheme, which has seen thousands of prisoners released early to ease overcrowding, has failed to exclude domestic abusers despite government promises because there is no formal categorisation for offenders. It is impossible, he argues, to know exactly how many domestic abusers are in prison currently so perpetrators are "slipping through the net" on early release. 2:39 Mr Babarinde says the uncertainty means victims and survivors are not able to prepare for their abuser's release. He said: "They might need to move house or move their kids to a new school, shop in different places. All of these kind of things are so important, and so that's why that commitment the government made was so important." A spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice said: "Our thoughts are with all victims of domestic abuse - it takes immense courage to speak out.
Irish Times
24-06-2025
- Irish Times
Highest number of domestic violence disclosures in 50 years is ‘just tip of iceberg' says Women's Aid
Women's Aid received the highest number of disclosures of domestic violence and abuse in its 50-year history last year, with more than 41,000 women reporting abuse by their partner or ex-partner, and more than 5,000 reporting abuse of children. The 2024 figure for disclosures, up 17 per cent on 2023, included reports of assaults with weapons, constant surveillance, relentless put downs and humiliations, taking and sharing of intimate images online, complete control over all family finances, sexual assault, rape and being threatened with theirs or their children's lives. Five women, the report notes, died in violent circumstances in 2024. The number and nature of the abuse disclosures is 'utterly appalling' but is 'just the tip of the iceberg', said Women's Aid chief executive Sarah Benson. 'Fear, stigma and the debilitating impact of the abuse itself, but also persisting social attitudes to domestic violence, prevent victims from coming forward.' READ MORE Much work needs to be done to break the silence to encourage those in need to get the support they deserve, she said. Domestic violence must be tackled by champions across society and men are needed 'to lead as allies in prevention of male violence'. Women's Aid, she said, is concerned about the 'inconsistent' response from members of An Garda Síochána to record numbers of domestic violence and abuse contacts, including more than 65,000 contacts to the force last year. While there was 'excellent progress' in areas such as the National Protective Services Bureau, 44 per cent of women said they found the gardaí response unhelpful when they sought support. Specialist training regarding domestic abuse and stalking must be a 'core part' of training for all members, not just those in specialist units. Young women, Ms Benson noted, are reporting very high levels of intimate partner and other forms of gender-based violence. A continuing increase in online or technology-facilitated gender-based violence showed the harm of online pornography but there is 'little meaningful accountability' for online platforms and perpetrators. The report said the housing crisis and issues with the family and criminal law processes adversely impact on the ability of victim-survivors to access justice and safety, with greater challenges for those with disabilities and migrant backgrounds. One in three women in contact with Women's Aid services were being subjected to domestic abuse from their ex-partner, said Eavan Ward, the organisation's head of regional services. Separating from a controlling and abusive partner is difficult and a time of heightened risk, she said. Many women needed to access the courts about children's matters but the 'prolonged, costly and disempowering' family law system 'is failing many women and children'. The process often results in unsafe custody and access arrangements which disregard the impact of domestic abuse, including coercive control on children, she said. The annual impact report for 2024, published on Wednesday, discloses that Women's Aid national and regional frontline services were contacted 32,144 times in 2024, up 12 per cent on 2023. There were 46,765 disclosures of incidents of domestic violence and abuse – 41,432 against women and 5,333 against children – up 17 per cent on 2023. Allegation of sexual abuse rose by 30 per cent, physical abuse by 22 per cent, emotional abuse by 15 per cent and economic abuse by 5 per cent. Specialist services are 'overstretched and underfunded' and resourcing by Government and implementation of the Third National Domestic, Sexual and Gender-Based Violence Strategy remains 'crucial' to effectively reduce the scale and impacts of violence against women and children in Ireland, the organisation said. The final implementation plan for that strategy, published on Tuesday by Minister for Justice Jim O'Callaghan , sets out 95 actions, including expansion of refuge accommodation.
BBC News
16-06-2025
- BBC News
Blyth man told partner to wear make up to hide black eye
A "toxic" domestic abuser who told his girlfriend to wear make up so he did not have to see the black eye he inflicted has been jailed for three years and four Mawhinney, 32, subjected his partner to months of verbal and physical abuse and control, before bombarding her with messages and calls after she broke up with him, Newcastle Crown Court woman said she lied about the injuries he caused her as she was frightened of him and had become a shadow of her former admitted assault, controlling behaviour and intentional strangulation, having previously been jailed for harassing the woman. Mawhinney, of Crofthead Close in Blyth, Northumberland, and the woman were in a relationship for about three years before she ended things in July 2024, prosecutor Daisy Wrigley pair were initially "happy" but about six months in his behaviour changed and he became "excessively jealous", the court heard. Put hole in wall Mawhinney regularly threatened his victim and constantly sent her messages demanding where she was and who with to the point where she stopped going out, Ms Wrigley attacks included strangling her in a hotel room in Newcastle after a night out, the court heard, but she did not support a prosecution as she was "frightened" of what he would broke up with him in April 2024 but awoke one night to find him standing over her bed, Mawhinney having asked a neighbour for a key, the court June she decided to give him another chance but did not tell her family, Ms Wrigley 7 July he attacked her at his home, grabbing her by the hair and ramming her head so hard it caused a hole in a wall, the court also slapped and punched her leaving her with a black eye and swollen eyeball, Ms Wrigley said. Jailed for harassment The following day Mawhinney apologised and urged the woman to stay at his house so her family would not see the injury, the court also told her to "please put make up on" so he did not have to face the consequences of what he had done, Ms Wrigley there may be a deeper injury, the woman went to hospital where Mawhinney joined her, the court "first concern" was what she had told medical staff about how the injury was caused, Ms Wrigley said, with the victim lying to them to hide what he had 10 July she went to police and reported what happened, the court following day Mawhinney bombarded her with 64 phone calls and text messages in which he said it was "absolute madness" and he was "going to get locked up for [her] little lies".After being charged with the offences and initially entering not guilty pleas, he went on to commit a harassment offence against the woman for which he was jailed by magistrates for 12 weeks in January, the court heard. 'Walking shadow' Recorder Jonathan Sandiford KC said Mawhinney's behaviour followed the "normal pattern" and was a "classic example" of domestic started with "love bombing" before becoming a "toxic cycle" of abuse that the woman said sucked the life out of her and left her a "walking shadow of herself", the judge said.A restraining order banning him from contacting her for nine years was also made. Follow BBC North East on X, Facebook, Nextdoor and Instagram.
Daily Mail
09-06-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Mother-of-three, 33, bravely details horrific abuse by her violent ex-partner as she shares pictures of her injuries
A courageous mother-of-three who endured years of brutal abuse at the hands of her violent ex-partner has spoken out for the first time – bravely sharing gruesome pictures of the violence inflicted upon her. Holly Bolsover, 33, suffered a 12-year reign of terror at the hands of thug Conar Shaw, 33, who beat, strangled and emotionally tortured her throughout their relationship – even in front of their children. The monster, from Dinnington, South Yorkshire, broke Holly's jaw, choked her, and chillingly threatened to throw acid in her face 'so no-one else would ever want her'. Shaw was jailed for two and a half years at Derby Crown Court in 2023 before being let out under Labour's early release scheme. The trauma he inflicted on beautician Holly left her unable to speak about her ordeal until now. Speaking to Mail Online to empower other women to escape toxic and abusive relationships, she said: 'I will be an advocate for woman out there that haven't got a voice and who are trapped like I was. 'I know I'm in the right mindset to do that. I want to be that woman who tells others: you can get out. Because at the time, you just can't see a way out - you're stuck in it.' Holly was just 18 when she met Shaw, who was the same age. But their early attraction quickly spiralled into violence and control. In one horrifying attack, Shaw tried to drown her in the bath. In another, he broke her jaw so badly that the bone was visible, requiring hundreds of internal stitches and the insertion of a metal plate. She said: 'It was toxic from the start. 'It wouldn't just be a smack, it'd be black eyes, bruises, cuts, or the house would get smashed up. 'I could never have anything nice in the house. If he knew that I had bought it, he'd smash it up because he knew I liked it.' In one terrifying episode, Holly recalled desperately holding a bedroom door shut while Shaw, armed with a serrated kitchen knife, tried to force his way in. 'He stabbed the door. I was on the other side watching the knife come through - like a scene from a horror film,' she said. 'The kids were with me in the bedroom screaming and crying. He sliced his fingers and ended up in hospital, but lied to everyone about how it happened.' In another attack, Shaw dragged her to the floor by her hood and strangled her in front of their young daughter, who was hit as she tried to intervene. Holly said: 'She ended up with a bloody nose, blood all over her face. And he didn't stop. I was screaming, "Look what you're doing to her!" and he just kept going.' Shaw played mind games so effectively that Holly often retracted police statements out of fear she would lose her children. She added: 'I was being blackmailed constantly. He'd say, "If you tell anyone, I'll get the kids taken off you." 'I believed it - I thought no-one would believe me so I kept my mouth shut.' The violence reached such extremes that at one point, when Holly's phone was off, friends and family feared she had been killed after confusing her for a victim in a nearby murder case. 'People were turning up at my house in tears thinking I was dead. That's how bad it had got. 'Everyone used to say, "You're going to end up in a box." And honestly, they weren't wrong.' In 2023, Shaw was jailed for just two and a half years after admitting two counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm. He served barely over a year behind bars before being released with a lifetime restraining order. The court heard how police were called to an argument in a car outside their home where Holly ended up in hospital with serious injuries to her head and face. Their young daughter told police he was punching her mum so hard the car was shaking. The other assault admitted by Shaw in court happened after Holly ended the relationship and he hunted her down after telling their daughter: 'I'm going to put your mum in A&E.' She said: 'He just walked up and punched me. After he'd finished beating me up, he spat on me and walked off.' Holly condemned Shaw's sentence as 'absolutely disgraceful' and said she feared he would breach his restraining order to find her and her children. Claiming Shaw also once stabbed their pet dog Rascal in a furious rage, she added: 'That sentence barely scratched the surface of what he did. 'Women are fleeing homes, families, their whole lives – and the men walk away with barely any consequence. 'People get more time for drug offences. 'I still have nightmares now that he will suddenly turn up.' Today, Holly is safe and rebuilding her life in South Yorkshire. She has met a new partner, entrepreneur Jack, 31, to whom she is engaged. Last year, the couple welcomed a baby boy. She said: 'I am a complete different woman to what I was then and now I know what a healthy relationship is. 'I thought what I was going through was normal - I just thought that this is what my life is. 'I have never known a love like in my relationship now. I now know how a real man is supposed to treat a woman. 'He shows me and the children how life should be lived and gives them the childhood they deserve.' After posting her graphic injuries on Facebook, Holly said she was contacted by other women trapped in abusive relationships. She said: 'They say the same things I used to say. One girl had me in tears. 'I just kept saying, "I'm not judging you. I've been there. But you need to tell social services. You need to get help." 'These men, they make you believe you're worthless. They make you believe you're going to lose your kids. It's awful. 'I will show women you can get out - you're not alone and I am living proof that you can get out.' Shaw admitted two counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and was jailed for two and a half years at Derby Crown Court. Detective Constable Kate Morrell, who led the investigation, said at the time: 'The survivor lived in fear of Shaw for years and still struggles with the mental and physical trauma of what he inflicted on her. 'No-one should have to live like that and so I'm pleased Shaw is now behind bars for his crimes. 'I hope this sentence can help her start to move forward and look to the future.'
Daily Mail
04-06-2025
- Health
- Daily Mail
Woman whose entire lip was bitten off by her violent ex boyfriend reveals what she looks like seven years after brutal attack
A woman who had her lip bitten off by her ex-boyfriend after she refused to take him back has shared an update on her recovery seven years on from the harrowing incident. In 2017, Kayla Hayes, who was just 17 at the time, was viciously attacked in Simpsonville, South Carolina, by her abusive ex-boyfriend, Seth Aaron Fleury, then 21, because she ended their relationship. The pair had been dating for a year when Hayes decided to call it quits on their romance in September 2017, saying Fleury had become abusive. When the pair met up a few weeks later to talk, he begged her to rethink her decision but Hayes refused. Fleury then leant in to kiss her and refused to let go, even when she pulled away, leading him to tear away 85 per cent of her lip, the attack so brutal he landed himself with a 12 year jail sentence. Seven years on from the attack that left her with painful scarring and feeling like 'a monster', the now 26-year-old has come on leaps and bounds. Sharing a photograph on Instagram recently, she appeared jubilant and happy as she beamed for a flash selfie, her scars from the attack barely visible. With minimal scarring and a huge smile, Hayes looked like a different person altogether from the bloodied face she was left with by her violent ex, which left her in a puddle of blood as she was whisked to hospital. Fans wrote left sweet comments below the picture, calling her 'beautiful' and 'admirable', with one remarking that she was 'shining bright'. Following the attack in 2017, Hayes underwent emergency plastic surgery - but medics were unable to re-attach her lip. She described her horror at feeling 'completely mutilated' by the attack. But since the incident nearly a decade ago, Hayes appears to have regained her smile, with several pictures from the last few years showing her smiling and looking happy. With the help of lip and cheek filler, she has also been able to disguise her scarring and to rebuild her confidence. Now an advocate, speaker and author, Hayes has also published her own book, titled She Rises, about her journey to healing both teenage domestic violence, and childhood sexual abuse. The book, which highlights her 'decision to ruse and wear her scars as wings', scored countless glowing reviews and even won her the Next Generation Indie Book Awards Winner in 2022. Hayes and Fleury began dating on 21 October 2016, when she was 17 and he was 21. But after a year of being together, things turned sour and Kayla decided to break things off, saying Fleury had come to treat her like his 'property'. When she eventually plucked up the courage to end their relationship in September 2017, he refused to accept things were ending and after meeting up a few weeks later, went in to try and kiss her. Seven years on from the attack that left her feeling like 'a monster', the now 26-year-old has come a long way. Pictured on Instagram seven weeks ago And as she pulled away, he bit down on her bottom lip with such force that it was ripped off. Hayes underwent emergency plastic surgery, but doctors were unable to reattach her lip and she was left with permanent scarring and a limited range of motion with her mouth. Fortunately in 2018, a year after the brutal attack, Hayes gained justice when Fleury was jailed for 12 years. Judge Robin N. Stilwell sentenced Fleury to 12 years in prison after he pleaded guilty to assault and battery of high and aggravated nature at Greenville County Courthouse. His sentence made it so that he would be forced to serve at least 85 per cent of his sentence before being made eligible for parole. During the hearing, Hayes recalled in detail the day her life changed at the hands of someone who claimed he would always protect her in a heartbreaking victim impact statement provided to In it, she recalled how she ended up sitting in a puddle of her own blood with her lip on her leg and wishing her injuries would take her life. 'October 21st, 2017. This was the day that a piece of me died,' she said. 'No one deserves to be hurt by the ones they love, but unfortunately it is more common than we realise. 'Everyone has a story and just because you don't see their scars, as you will mine, this doesn't meant that they didn't fight the same battle. 'Even if my story only helps one single person, I will know that there was a reason for this happening to me.' She added: 'No one truly believes that this could happen to them but it can happen in the blink of an eye. 'Someone could be the most outstanding person you have ever met, but until you are with them behind closed doors you just never know. In her victim impact statement, she said: 'I remember every detail of this very moment, the thoughts that ran through my mind when I opened my camera, were very dark which only seemed to worsen. 'Sitting in a puddle of my own blood with the majority of my lip laying on my leg, my whole mouth on fire, confused and terrified, I didn't know how I could ever show my face again. 'At that point, honestly wishing that those very seconds would just be my last - I wanted to give up for good. 'I kept replaying what had just happened in my head, from telling Seth that I was not there to get back together with him, however I was there for him to right his wrongs. 'To getting flowers and cards thrown at the back of my head and then quickly get in my car to seeing my leg shaking uncontrollably to finally look up at him picking everything up. 'I could not figure out how this happened so fast. I couldn't figure out how he was so mad. From putting the items in the passenger seat leading to him trying to kiss me. 'Of course, as I said before, I wasn't there to get back together with him. I refused and backed up only to feeling him latch on to me. Feeling it tear about half way. 'I then just started screaming at the top of my lungs for help and out of fear for my life. He then yanked me out of my own vehicle and slammed the door in my face so he could take off, and run away from what he had just done.' While on the journey to the hospital, Fleury continued to blow up her phone with calls. She detailed her horror at having 'something many women hold precious to them' be 'completely mutilated'. In the ambulance, Hayes didn't have the heart to call her mother, who was on holiday at the time, by calling her. It was the first she had taken without her daughter. When she called friends, they couldn't understand her when she tried to explain what had happened because of the severity of her injury. 'I remember being in the ambulance, being told to call my mother. I couldn't bring myself to do it. 'She was seven hours away on her first vacation she had ever taken without me, how could I ruin it. 'I then got on the phone with her friend and I remember trying to say he bit me but no one could understand me because my lips couldn't pronounce it.' She said she was still deeply affected by the sound of an ambulance, and was often left in 'a panic' whenever she heard one. Waking up in hospital was even more of a shock, but she was grateful for her nurse 'trying to lighten the air'. 'She chuckled and nodded then proceeded to bring me a mask to cover my face. 'That was when it hit me, this was my new reality. What I just woke up from was no joke. Never a day in my life will I ever wake up living my 'normal' life again.' In the months following the attack, she said she found herself blaming herself for breaking up with 'someone that I knew didn't deserve me which he proved once again.' She recalled how he 'manipulated' her to the point that she nearly lost all those dear to her, saying she had been 'naive' to the abuse that Fleury was inflicting on her as he was her first ever boyfriend. The attack was so severe that she was left unable to drive and feeling like 'a monster and was even forced to withdraw from college, where she was studying dental hygiene, and as a result, lost her scholarship. Having to pay for her own college fees left her and her mother out of pocket and they were forced to sell their first home as a result. She described 'smothering' herself in makeup just to leave the house, often finding people 'staring' at her in the street. Hayes was also left with crippling anxiety, terrifying nightmares and even struggled to eat, unable to open her mouth wide enough for even a small fork or spoon. The horror inflicted on her at the hands of Fleury didn't go away either. As well as the nightmares, she would be woken up at all hours of the night to be told if Fleury's ankle monitor hadn't registered a signal. 'No one understands how everyday is a struggle to get up and go about my days, but if I sit down and let this defeat me then he will only get more satisfaction out of what he's done.. so I just ask that the focus today is on what he is done and not at how far I have come or what I have felt that I have had to do to overcome what he has done to me.'
