Latest news with #affection
The Guardian
2 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
My petty gripe: yes, hands can make hearts. Now get off Instagram and do something useful
For millennia human beings have had hands. Oh, what things we have done with these hands! We have woven great tapestries. We have deftly saved the lives of our fellow beings. We have written works of such enduring power they have transcended the centuries. The Sistine Chapel? Hands. Open heart surgery? Also hands. Generation after generation, people have been born with hands, used hands casually, without even thinking about it, like they were no big deal. And everything was fine with hands until, what, 10 years ago, some wizard realised you could rest the top third of your opposing fingers together while pressing the pads of yours thumbs together below and make an approximation of the shape of a heart. And that's all dickheads have been doing with hands ever since. Who was that person? Was it an accident, or had they been experimenting with using all their body parts to make the shape of a heart? Had they been thinking: if only there was a trite and annoying way people could signal their affection for each other? We hardly have any of those! And when they stumbled upon this revelation, did they run out into the streets, hands aloft, shouting (weeping, maybe?) to all who could hear: LOOK, HANDS MAKE HEARTS! HANDS MAKE HEARTS! And those who came, did they slowly and in awe bring their own hands together in a heart shape, wondering how they had failed to see this before? And is that when they put it on Instagram? I don't have the answers, dear reader. Could we be living in end times when all human experience is flattened, rendered meaningless and fed into the insatiable algorithms that control our declining culture? I don't know! What I do know is this gesture is stupid. What I do know is this is a grave misuse of hands, which are for tapestries, surgeries and chapel decoration (see above). I also know that in ancient Greece, what we now consider the OK sign – the connecting of the thumb and forefinger – was used to denote love, a mimic of kissing of lips. Imagine how annoying that was, all over the agora, people doing little kissy love fingers! So stupid heart hands will go one day, too. I just have to wait for our civilisation to collapse. (Not long now.)
Daily Mail
25-06-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
The secret to a happy marriage? PDA! Couples who display affection have more satisfying relationships, study claims
Honesty, respect and communication are all crucial to a happy marriage. But if you really want to boost your relationship, scientists say you should give your partner a kiss or cuddle in public. Experts have discovered that public displays of affection (PDA) are linked to greater relationship satisfaction. And it could be an easy way to strengthen your romantic bond – even at the risk of making other people feel a bit uncomfortable. Researchers from the University of Silesia in Katowice, Poland, recruited more than 450 participants for their study. They were asked questions about their public and private displays of affection, negative attitudes and behaviours towards other individuals engaging in PDA. Analysis revealed displays of romantic affection – like holding hands, kissing or cuddling – both in public and privately, were linked to enhanced relationship satisfaction. They were also associated with improved wellbeing, reduced stress and greater life satisfaction. The study, which involved individuals from Indonesia, Nepal and Poland, also revealed cultural differences in attitudes towards PDA. Polish participants reported the highest level of PDA, while Indonesian participants reported the lowest. Writing in the journal Plos One the researchers said: 'Across all three countries, positive correlations were observed between displays of affection and relationship satisfaction, underscoring the importance of affectionate behaviours in romantic relationships. 'In practice, these findings may inform relationship counselling, suggesting that encouraging appropriate expressions of affection…can strengthen romantic bonds.' They referenced previous studies that have revealed key differences in how gender shapes an individual's views on PDA. 'Women tend to show affection more frequently than men,' they wrote, 'while men are more likely to report a lack of affectionate touch and greater affection deprivation. 'Although men and women differ in their preferred forms of physical affection – men often prefer kissing, while women favour hugging – these differences are generally modest.' Earlier research has also suggested that people not in romantic relationships exhibit the highest levels of negative attitudes towards public displays of affection. Others ways to maintain a happy marriage include merging bank accounts, according to a study published in 2023. Researchers recruited 230 couples who were either engaged or newly married and followed them over two years as they began their married lives together. Everyone began the study with separate bank accounts. Some couples were assigned to keep their separate accounts, and others were told to open a joint account instead. A third group was also allowed to make the decision on their own. Analysis revealed couples who opened joint bank accounts reported substantially higher relationship quality two years later than those who maintained separate accounts. The scientists said merging funds means couples are more aligned with their financial goals and are more transparent with each other. It also leads to a 'communal understanding of marriage' – when partners respond to each other's needs – they said. WHAT ARE THE FIVE STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP AND HOW DO THEY AFFECT THE BODY? Psychologists suggest there are five stages of love - butterflies, building, assimilation, honesty and stability. Each of these stages has a different impact on our psyche and health, researchers at eHarmony found in a 2014 survey. 1) Butterflies Marked by intense infatuation and sexual attraction, symptoms noted by couples included weight loss (30 per cent) and a lack of productivity (39 per cent). Biologically, it's reported that during this early stage of dating, both men and women create more of the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. As a result more than half - 56 per cent - noted an increase in their libido. 2) Building As the initial attraction gives way to learning more about one another, the honeymoon stage subsides and a couple begin to build their relationship. eHarmony's study estimated around three per cent of Britons in relationship are currently at stage two. The body releases neurochemicals called monoamines, which speed up heart rate, trigger rushes of intense pleasure and replicate the effects of Class A drugs. The biological effect culminates in a feeling of 'happy anxiety', where people can think of little else than their blossoming relationship. Forty-four per cent of the study participants noted a lack of sleep while 29 per cent reported a their attention span had been adversely affected. 3) Assimilation Having established whether the other person is 'right', stage three forces a couple to question whether the 'relationship' itself is right. Questions over the future of the union and forming boundaries in the relationship can lead to a rise in stress levels, reported by 27 per cent of those taking part in the study. 4) Honesty Stage three combines with stage four, where people open up showing the 'real you' sees the first real rise in stress levels and anxiety. 'This stage deals with the concept behind how we all put on our best faces, through social media we edit our lives as well as our pictures to make it appear as though everything is fine,' psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who assisted with the study, told MailOnline. Opening up completely triggered feelings of doubt and increased vulnerability in 15 per cent of participants. 5) Stability If a couple can weather the emotional rollercoaster of the first four stages, the fifth and final stage, stability, brings with it increased levels of trust and intimacy. eHarmony found 50 per cent of respondents had reached this stage, and 23 per cent reported feeling happier as a result. Biologically, vasopressin - a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm - strengthens feelings of attachment. Meanwhile oxytocin - released during childbirth - deepens feelings of attachment. 'This is where we see a real level of contentness,' Dr Papadopolous told MailOnline. 'We found the body releases wonderful hormones which helps couples bond. We noted a real sense of attachment, and a sense of "you have got my back and I've got yours".'
Forbes
23-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Forbes
4 Habits Couples In Fulfilling Relationships Share, By A Psychologist
By doing these four things every day, you create the foundation for a healthy, lasting and ... More emotionally satisfying relationship. At the heart of any fulfilling relationship is how safe, seen and secure you feel when you're with your partner. But in the tidal wave of everyday life, the tiny moments of connection that used to come so easily often get lost in the shuffle. And before you know it, you're feeling like you've lost the spark that made love so easy. Reigniting that chemistry begins with four easy habits, ones you likely did naturally when you initially started dating. With some purpose and persistence, they're easier to revive than you may think. Here are four habits that sustain love and satisfaction in relationships. 1. Playfulness And Physical Affection The best part about being in an emotionally fulfilling relationship is knowing you can show up exactly as you are, with everything that makes you 'you.' When couples feel secure, they often express affection through doing things that may appear silly, such as light teasing, playful tussles, acting like children, head rubs or holding hands. These non-sexual touches and moments of harmless absurdity signal emotional safety that says, 'I feel safe enough with you to let my guard down.' In fact, a 2024 study published in Scientific Reports looked at over 460 couples and explored how different kinds of playfulness show up in relationships. They described four types of adult playfulness: And this is what they found: Couples who were more playful, especially those who were lighthearted and socially warm, tended to feel more secure in their relationships. They were less likely to avoid intimacy or feel anxious about being loved. Playfulness also helped reduce romantic jealousy. So, when you joke around, wrestle on the couch or make up weird play-pretend scenarios, they signal a fundamental sense of safety in your relationship. Over time, this safety becomes the groundwork for deeper intimacy, ease of communication and a partnership that feels emotionally spacious. 2. Domestic Chores As Rituals Of Intimacy The most meaningful moments in a relationship don't necessarily happen during planned dates or long getaways. While these events can deepen commitment, real bonding often takes place in everyday 'micro-moments.' When a relationship is emotionally satisfying, the ordinary turns extraordinary simply because it's shared with your partner. Doing chores together such as cooking or watching your plants grow, even deciding 'what to eat today' can turn into small rituals of connection. A 2020 study of over 480 couples, published in Socius, found that sharing household chores is closely tied to higher relationship satisfaction, but not just because the work is split. The key factor was how partners communicated around these tasks. When communication was open, supportive and emotionally attuned, couples were more likely to share domestic work in a way that felt fair and unifying. For women, especially, having a partner who contributed and communicated well led to a deeper sense of satisfaction and equity. For men, good communication often follows from sharing chores, highlighting how participation itself can reinforce closeness. Domestic labor carries emotional meaning. It's not just about cleaning or cooking. It reflects care, investment and mutual respect in the shared understanding that 'We are doing this life together.' 3. Daily Emotional Check-Ins When you are in a relationship that feels emotionally safe and connected, daily emotional check-ins come naturally. You find some time to spend together simply to check in on how everything's going lately, whether that's in the morning over breakfast and shared coffee or at night when you are winding up after a long day of work. And this is more important than you may think. A 2020 study explored how daily relationship mindfulness — being openly and receptively attentive to your partner in the present moment — affects day-to-day relationship behaviors. Researchers found that on days when one partner was more mindful, couples experienced: Interestingly, when relationship mindfulness was low on a given day, many partners with insecure attachment styles responded with more positive behaviors the next day, possibly as a way to 'make up for it.' The study shows that even small daily fluctuations in presence and attunement can shape the emotional tone of your relationship. 4. Parallel Play And Creative Collaboration There's a unique sort of emotional intimacy that emerges when couples create side by side, working on their own thing while knowing the other person is right there with them. This kind of 'parallel play' and collaborative effort can come from shared hobbies, such as playing different games side by side simply because you enjoy their company, writing screenplays together to know what their inner world feels like or playing music and singing covers. You can even help each other with work if you're in the same field. In 2021, a study published in Psychology of Music discovered that couples who spent time doing shared music activities, such as listening to a song together or making music for fun, reported that they had higher levels of commitment, positive communication and emotional coordination within their relationship. Surprisingly, structured performances and official duets weren't what created this sense of closeness. It was the casual, extemporaneous co-creation that created a closer sense of 'us.' The authors refer to this as the Shared Musical Activities in Relationships (SMAR) model, demonstrating the way music can subtly coordinate emotions, fuel better communication and create deeper relational trust. This shows that emotional connection doesn't always require a deep conversation. Sometimes presence and support are enough, which affirms, 'We are team; it's us against the world.' By following these four habits, couples can build emotionally fulfilling relationships. Sometimes, all it takes is the intent and willingness to bring back what lit you up when you first started dating. Want to know how emotionally fulfilling your relationship really is? Take this science-backed test to see where you and your partner stand: Relationship Flourishing Scale
The Sun
06-06-2025
- General
- The Sun
The top 10 ways dads show love from doing DIY, to paying dinner bills and sending an iconic emoji
Dads prefer to show their affection by paying for meals, fixing things around the house – and the thumbs-up emoji. A poll of 2,000 adults revealed 49 per cent reckon their dad would describe himself as 'not good at emotional stuff'. 1 Instead, lending tools, helping with house moves, and checking the tyres and oil in cars were other ways dads show their affection. It also emerged 35 per cent don't think their father is good at dealing with emotions – with 14 per cent claiming they have never hugged their father. A spokesperson from Funky Pigeon, which has created a quiz where you can test how fluent you are in 'Dad Speak' and commissioned the research, said: 'Sometimes it can be hard to show real emotion. 'For many of us, our dads grew up in a world where expressing emotion wasn't always encouraged - where a pat on the back might've stood in for 'I love you', and a raised eyebrow counted as a heartfelt pep talk. 'Times are changing, and while some dads still find it hard to open up, we're seeing more and more moments where that emotional armour slips - a quiet tear at a wedding, a thumbs-up that means the world. 'These gestures might be subtle, but they speak volumes.' The study also revealed 19 per cent of those polled have never told their father they love them – and the same percentage have never had a text exchange with their old man. Nearly three in 10 (29 per cent) have also never heard their dad day 'I love you' to them, although women are slightly more likely to hear it than men. Another 29 per cent would find it emotional if their dad said, out of the blue, he was proud of them, according to the data. But some of the most common phrases people do hear from their dad included 'You'll be alright', 'Need anything?' and 'Keep going'. It also emerged 51 per cent believe their father is not particularly affectionate physically, if at all. However, it's not a one-way street, as 25 per cent never ask their dad about his feelings, with 49 per cent rarely or never indulging in a proper heart to heart with him. Home Bargains launches Father's Day gifts in store & there's a £5.99 present shoppers are already snapping up A third went on to describe their father's texting style as 'brief', while nine per cent find them littered with emojis. Funky Pigeon's spokesperson added: 'We often joke about the 'dad grunt' — that universal sound that somehow covers everything from 'I'm proud of you' to 'don't forget your coat'. 'But behind the jokes is a real truth: dads feel just as much as anyone else, even if they don't always have the words to say it. 'There's something incredibly moving about seeing a dad trying to express what's in his heart, especially if it doesn't come naturally. 'Whether it's awkward hugs, long silences, or carefully chosen words, those small moments of effort are often the most meaningful of all.'
Daily Mail
05-06-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
How your dad says he loves you... without uttering those three words
It seems that fathers are not as good as mums at telling their offspring they love them. But researchers say they show their affection in rather more practical ways. These include lending cash, offering a taxi service and manning the barbecue, a poll found. Overall, 85 per cent of both men and women said their father is the first port of call when they need something. Most Britons say it's the small things their dad does – which also include making cups of tea or taking their cars to be fixed – that shows they truly care. The research, from flower delivery service Bloom & Wild, found one in three (33 per cent) say helping out with a much-needed emergency cash injection shows that dads care. The list of dad's love language gestures includes giving advice on practical things – such as which car to buy (22 per cent) – or looking after the grandchildren (22 per cent) and helping put up shelves or flat-pack furniture (19 per cent). Bringing you a cup of tea (29 per cent), taking your car to get fixed (20 per cent), mowing your lawn (15 per cent) and standing with you at the barbecue (17 per cent) are other key ways many dads continue to show love to their adult children, according to the 2,000 surveyed. The respondents to the survey said their top memories of their fathers included buying them sweets (41 per cent) and giving lifts to friends' houses (40 per cent). Jo Reason of Bloom & Wild which commissioned the poll to mark Father's Day next Sunday, said: 'We can see from the survey that dads express their love in ways that aren't always loud, but they are always meaningful. 'That's why, this Father's Day, we are celebrating the quiet, everyday acts of care that make dads special.' Some 91 per cent agree that, as they get older, they came to realise that their father was right about most things. The same percentage will be buying a present and card for their dad this Father's Day. This research was conducted by Perspectus Global last month.
