Latest news with #babyloss
BBC News
20-07-2025
- Health
- BBC News
Baby loss certificate: 'This will mean so much to the parents of Northern Ireland'
Women who lost pregnancies before 24 weeks have said a baby loss certificate will be a "powerful symbol of validation for the grief that parents are going through". Currently in Northern Ireland, the death of a baby after 24 weeks is officially recorded as a stillbirth but there is no formal recognition of loss before 24 weeks, as there is in finance minister has said it is his intention to introduce a similar scheme in Northern Ireland before the end of the year and a public consultation seeking views from bereaved parents has received more than 540 responses. He is keen to hear from as many people as possible, before it closes in September. This article contains themes and images of baby loss, which some people may find distressing. BBC News NI has spoken to three bereaved women about their experiences. Selina Casey, from Kilrea in County Londonderry, was prompted to set up the White Butterfly Foundation to help other parents when she found support was lacking after her own story starts in February 2021, when she was pregnant with her third arrived to an appointment at 18 weeks, "just assuming everything would be grand", but was told her baby had no heartbeat."I was told: 'You're going to have to take medication and come in and deliver your son'," she days later, she delivered her son after a 12-hour labour at the Causeway Hospital."I left the hospital the next day with him and a leaflet," she added. 'We want to talk about our baby and call them by their name' Her charity was set up "for bereaved parents, by bereaved parents"."I remember leaving the hospital and feeling like I had nothing to remember my child," she said. She said her child has a grave but she has "no certificate for him and nothing else to say that he was here". "These certificates are going to mean so much to the parents of Northern Ireland," she added. "Not that we ever want to have a hierarchy of grief, but there are different feelings that come at different stages of pregnancy loss. At the earlier stages, prior to 24 weeks, there can be feelings of invalidation, feelings of: 'I don't have a right to grieve here'."Parents can feel silenced."She always tells families: "Please don't stop talking. We always want to talk about our baby and call them by their name if they have been named." Since the foundation opened, there have been referrals every day from health trusts and those she wishes the certificates had been brought in sooner, it's a "massively positive step forward" and, hopefully, a "stepping stone" to more support rolled out in all trust areas. 'The lack of recognition impacts your grief' Leah O'Hara "100% welcomes the certificates" but agrees that they are just one step in getting more support and legal nurse, from Bangor in County Down, lives with her husband James and daughter, eight-year-old three early pregnancy losses, last year she and James lost baby Jacob at 22 weeks. "He was born, I gave birth to him and there was nothing to recognise that he existed - he was a baby - but he was born two weeks before the cut off," she told BBC News NI. The family was able to bring him home for five days. "The lack of recognition impacts your grief. I had so much anger that our baby was not recognised. You just want their name and story told."The only certificate we have for Jacob is a cremation certificate."Leah hopes the certificate will be a step towards the issue being more openly spoken about."Sometimes such losses are overlooked because people haven't met the baby or know the baby - but you know the baby."It's a much longed for, loved baby already."Chatting to other mums in a group set up by Lurgan-based charity Little Forget Me Nots Trust has helped."Speaking to people who resonate with me and just know exactly how you feel has been amazing," she has benefitted from their programme for siblings."She was struggling with the fact that everyone in school had brothers and sisters and she didn't know how to mention her brother." Louise Taylor, from Portadown in County Armagh, founded the charity and said the certificate scheme is "so needed". She said goodbye to her son, Ruben, 10 years ago, and while there was support, it was not the support she felt she needed."Everything was so dark and so gloomy," she said."I really needed to help to figure out a way to find the light again. "I had another little girl at home and I struggled to parent her. I was back at work, completely oblivious that the grief was consuming me."Now she's "using this darkness" to help other families. Five years ago, when her father asked her to take over the family funeral directing business, she wanted to incorporate charity support."I couldn't process saying goodbye to a child and helping a parent say goodbye to the child, then letting them off into the community," she said."When somebody comes in through the door, after we've helped them say goodbye, in a few months through the darkness we pass on the baton to the charity so that the family is not left in the wilderness with nowhere to go."The programmes are "parent-led, trauma-informed and support these mummies and daddies in the darkness".One such group is for mums, using crafts, which keep hands busy while "blending it in with an element of understanding how our brain is processing this"."The most important thing is to let them know that it's OK if they feel like this and other people around this table feel like this."Her team hopes to roll out a similar group for fathers. Louise said 10 years ago she would have loved a certificate."This is about validating the grief of these mummies and daddies - putting it in stone that this wee person existed," she said."I don't think people realise what a woman goes through to say goodbye to her baby." What about leave from work? In England, there are plans for parents who experience a miscarriage before 24 weeks of pregnancy to be entitled to bereavement women said they would like to see similar coming into Northern Ireland."I spoke recently to a woman who has had multiple miscarriages and she was asked to provide medical evidence of that," Selina has been off work since the heartbreak of losing baby Jacob."If Jacob had been born two weeks later I would have been entitled to maternity leave," she would also like help for self-employed parents, like her husband. Should it be applied retrospectively? The women would also support the certificate scheme being applied said she would get four certificates."We didn't name our other babies – as they were before 12 weeks but a loss is a loss."I think back dating it would help a lot of families." Who is the scheme open to? The scheme will be open to parents who have experienced the loss of a baby in the first 24 weeks of consultation runs until 12 September. If any these issues have affected you, details of help and advice are available on the BBC Action Line website.
The Independent
28-06-2025
- Health
- The Independent
Wes Streeting is right to listen to bereaved parents – and I am one of them
How do you parent a baby who has died? This is a question my partner and I were left with when our son, Sasha, was stillborn in January 2022. We had all this overflowing love and care in our hearts, and no living baby to give it to. People don't like to think about baby loss. It's simply too sad and shocking for most. So, for us, keeping Sasha's name alive and trying to speak the truth of his life and death became one of the ways we parented him. Being unheard is one of the most common experiences that unites bereaved families. It is not only that many of us fear stigma or hurtful reactions when we speak about our babies. Many parents, especially those from low-income or ethnic minority families, will have had their concerns during pregnancy ignored or not taken seriously by healthcare professionals. When the tragedy of a baby's death occurs, it is often the case that our complaints are met with denial or obfuscation by the hospital. Many bereaved parents, particularly those who feel or know that their baby's death could have been prevented, eventually come to expect that we will not be listened to, that our warnings or suggestions about maternity care in the UK will remain unheeded. Now, I can say for the first time since my boy died, I know what it feels like to be listened to. When Wes Streeting invited bereaved families to speak with him about their losses and what needs to improve in UK maternity services, many expected that it would not lead to any meaningful change. And this nearly did happen. But after presenting an overview of suggested actions to improve maternity services to bereaved parents – including those whose losses occurred at scandal-hit hospitals such as Nottingham, Shrewsbury and Telford, Leeds and Sussex – something did change. The health secretary openly acknowledged that the conventional approach to policy was not working. He said that he would work more closely with bereaved parents and head a task force that would include bereaved parents, promising to produce this policy together. Witnessing the words of bereaved parents genuinely convince the health secretary and change the course of action felt like a miracle. Of course, it shouldn't have. This should be how most decisions in our country are made – with the direct involvement of those closest to the issue. Not only did I feel lighter, but, for the first time since my son's death, I felt hope that things might actually change. Wes Streeting has realised something that many policymakers and NHS leaders before him have been unable to see. Bereaved parents are key to improving maternity care. We are not only experts by experience, having witnessed firsthand how things go wrong in maternity care. Whether by advocating for change, pursuing legal justice or following complaints procedures, we also amass a depth of knowledge of the wider healthcare system, from both a user and a technical experience perspective. This is only the start of a much larger and longer process, but this new beginning is on the right track. I hope that policymakers continue to listen to us, to seriously consider our suggestions and learn from our losses, even though it is a more challenging process than traditional top-down decision making. I hope that they realise that we are their biggest and most trustworthy asset for improving maternity care. We have nothing to personally gain, no reputations to protect, and we have already lost that which is most precious to us. We simply don't want future parents and babies to go through what we did. We want a future where parents can be confident they will receive safe care and be listened to when this goes wrong.
BBC News
23-06-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
Kelsey Parker announces loss of newborn baby Phoenix
Kelsey Parker, the widow of The Wanted singer Tom Parker, has announced the "earth-shattering news" that her newborn baby has a podcaster, actress and entrepreneur, posted a poignant poem for the baby boy named Phoenix, titled Born Sleeping, Forever was accompanied by a caption saying: "Phoenix Parker-Lindsay, you will forever be loved."Last week, the 35-year-old said on TikTok that she was 38 weeks pregnant. She has two children with boy band star Parker, who died in 2022, and is now in a relationship with Will Lindsay. The heartbreaking poem began: "The world grew quiet as you arrived, So loved, so longed for, yet not alive./Our precious boy, our angel light, Born with wings, took silent flight."In a separate message, Parker added: "Before I receive an influx of lovely messages and heart-felt well wishes, I want to just say that I truly appreciate everything you are all going to say and share."But with the news being so raw, I would really like to ensure that we as a family are given space and time to process this devastating and earth-shattering news."I love you all and thank you for your understanding and space."Love always, Kelsey, Will and The Parker Family."Parker co-hosts the Mum's The Word podcast, and runs a performing arts school in Kent, wellbeing retreats, and a family travel 2023, she published a book titled With And Without You, about the first year after the death of Instagram bio describes her occupation as: "Being a mum, running a business & dealing with grief."About one in every 250 birth results in a stillbirth, which is defined as when a baby is born dead after 24 weeks of pregnancy, according to the you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, the BBC's Action Line has details of advice and support services.
The Sun
23-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Kelsey Parker supported by Giovanna Fletcher, Kate Ferdinand and Paul C Brunson after she reveals baby's tragic death
KELSEY Parker is being supported by a slew of celebrity pals after opening up the tragic death of her baby. The devastated mum of two's support network has come out in full force to share her sorrow after she bravely announced her third baby was "born sleeping" just a week before its due date. 6 6 6 Kelsey, 34, took to Instagram to reveal the name of her third child, Phoenix Parker-Lindsay, alongside a heart-wrenching poem on her loss. She shared the news by posting the piece to fans, which read: "For Phoenix. Born sleeping, forever loved." The phoenix bird symbolises immortality, resurrection and life after death. Kelsey - who announced in January she was expecting her first baby with boyfriend Will Lindsay - wrote on social media: "Before I receive an influx of lovely messages and heartfelt well wishes, I want to just say that I truly appreciate everything you are all going to say and share. "But with the news being so raw, I would really like to ensure that we as a family are given space and time to process this devastating and earth-shattering news. "I love you all and thank you for your understanding and space." After uploading the raw message, her followers were on hand to offer support and messages of condolence. Kate Ferdinand then posted: "Oh Kelsey, I'm so sorry. You've been through so much as a family already, this feels so unfair. "Thinking of you all and sending so much love." Kelsey Parker mum-shamed for admitting she doesn't put suncream on her kids She was referring to the fact that Kelsey lost her childhood sweetheart husband Tom Parker in 2022 aged 33 following a brain tumour diagnosis. Tom was aged just 33 when he died of glioblastoma, a rare and aggressive cancer, just 18 months after diagnosis. She shares two children, five-year-old Aurelia and Bodhi, four, with The Wanted star. The family have remained dedicated to raising funds for brain tumour research in Tom 's honour with an annual charity football match in his memory. Married At First Sight expert and podcast host Paul Carrick-Brunson then shared his close bond with Kelsey, and wrote: "Kelsey, I'm heartbroken for you. "Over the last year, I've had the privilege of getting to know your strength, your grace, and the immense love you carry. "This loss is beyond words. I'm holding you and your family in my heart. May you feel surrounded by love as you begin to heal." Giovanna Fletcher then put: "A beautiful name for a beautiful soul. I'm so sorry for your loss Kelsey." The trio were just a handful of celebs who sent their best wishes, with fellow mum and TOWIE alum Amy Childs who added: "I'm so sorry for your loss Kelsey." Fans were also quick to add their messages of sadness. KELSEY'S JOURNEY Kelsey went public with her new relationship in September last year, saying she knew her late husband Tom would 'send the right man for her.' She excitedly revealed her pregnancy in January before being pictured ring shopping with her tree surgeon boyfriend, 27, earlier this month. Yet just days ago, her "haunting" words about pregnancy came to light. Kelsey said in March that she was trying to enjoy every moment of her pregnancy after losing her husband to a brain tumour in 2022 taught her "how precious life is". Speaking to OK! Magazine earlier this year, then-pregnant Kelsey said: "I'm due at the end of June. I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy more, because I think when you've been through something like I've been through, you realise how precious life is. "I know that sounds clichéd, but it's true." 6 6 6
News.com.au
23-06-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Singer Tom Parker's devastated widow announces tragic death of new baby
The Wanted singer Tom Parker's widow Kelsey has revealed the tragic death of her baby who was 'born sleeping'. Phoenix Parker-Lindsay died just one week before his due date, it was announced today. Kelsey shared the devastating news by posting a poem to fans, 'For Phoenix. Born sleeping, forever loved.' The phoenix bird symbolises immortality, resurrection and life after death. Kelsey – who announced in January she was expecting her first baby with boyfriend Will Lindsay – wrote on Instagram: 'Before I receive an influx of lovely messages and heartfelt well wishes, I want to just say that I truly appreciate everything you are all going to say and share. 'But with the news being so raw, I would really like to ensure that we as a family are given space and time to process this devastating and earth-shattering news. 'I love you all and thank you for your understanding and space.' Kelsey lost her childhood sweetheart husband Tom in 2022 aged 33 following a brain tumour diagnosis. She shares two children, five-year-old Aurelia and Bodhi, four, with The Wanted star, who scored an Aussie hit in 2011 with his group's signature song, Glad You Came. The family have remained dedicated to raising funds for brain tumour research in Tom's honour with an annual charity football match in his memory. Kelsey went public with her new relationship in September last year, saying she knew her late husband would 'send the right man for her.' The 34-year-old excitedly revealed her pregnancy in January before earlier this month, being pictured ring shopping with her tree surgeon boyfriend, 27. Kelsey previously told how 'close' her kids are to Will – and that they have been excitedly preparing for the new baby to arrive. In an interview with OK! Magazine in March, Kelsey described her pregnancy so far and revealed her due date to be June 30. 'It's been smooth so far', said Kelsey. 'I'm due at the end of June. I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy more, because I think when you've been through something like I've been through, you realise how precious life is.' 'I know that sounds clichéd, but it's true. I just want to enjoy every moment of it with Will. 'When I fell pregnant with Aurelia, I thought I had my life set. I had the perfect life – I'd been with Tom since the age of 19 and had everything sorted. 'Then my world got flipped upside down and I think that teaches you how precious life is.'
