2 days ago
Children capture their domestic violence experience through stories
Warning: This story contains content that may cause distress for some readers.
"Dad is like a tornado."
Sitting cross-legged on a colourful blanket, surrounded by cushions and plush toys, seven-year-old Sarah* reads aloud a story she and her five-year-old brother helped write and illustrate.
"Koala and Mindy run back behind the tree," she reads.
"The tornado turns the rock pool into a whirlpool and spins Koala and all the children round and round until they don't know which way is up."
It is a story from the minds of two imaginative primary school-aged siblings.
But hidden behind the fictional characters and playful language is a confronting glimpse into the lives of two children who have grown up around domestic violence and homelessness.
"When it is over, Koala and Mindy sneak back out," Sarah continues to read.
"Mum and Dad are relaxing in the pool with a drink.
"Koala and Mindy jump into the water with a loud shout, making a big splash!"
It is rare for the public to hear directly from young children who have experienced domestic violence and homelessness, and even rarer for those children to have to opportunity to speak directly to people in positions of power.
But that is what 10 South Australian children aged under 12 have done, through the power of storytelling.
Over the past year, the children have worked with Relationships Australia SA on a collection of stories, which have been published in a picture book aptly titled, The Kids Who Have Been Through This.
The children have presented their book to SA's Royal Commission into Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence, as well as government ministers and department leaders, in the hope of preventing further abuse.
"We would like the Prime Minister to read this book," the children wrote on the first page.
"Then they will understand what children are going through, because maybe they don't know some of the things that happen."
Nine-year-old Kate* wrote and illustrated the story "Dada and Me", which was about a family of dingoes forced to leave their unsafe den.
Kate loves writing and reading, especially when she gets to share her stories with others, but she said she found it difficult to write about her own experiences.
"It was a bit upsetting for me because I started crying," she said.
"Kids have feelings and emotions too, just like adults".
For Kate's mother Lisa*, the book stirred up mixed emotions.
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She was proud of her daughter's work, but was upset by the circumstances that led to her becoming involved in the project.
"Honestly, it hurts," she said.
Lisa said she endured "a good solid six months" of abuse from an ex-partner.
She said she tried to shield Kate from the violence, but there were times when her daughter witnessed it.
"There was threats to kill with axes and choking, and a lot of bottles to my head," Lisa said.
"On a weekly basis I would get a bit of a knock around.
"At the end I was just pushing — if he hit me, I would say to him, 'Is that the best you've got?'"
After the relationship ended, Lisa and Kate spent several years moving between women's shelters and hotels.
Now in secure housing, Lisa said she and Kate were on the journey towards recovery, with the picture book part of the healing process.
"She's always been able to have a voice, always been able to speak her mind, but I guess to other people, [through] her telling her story, she can say she really does matter."
It is hard to know how many South Australian children have experienced or witnessed domestic violence, given much of it is undisclosed.
A recent analysis by the state's Child Death and Serious Injury Review Committee found 333 South Australian children who died between January 2005 and December 2024 had family and domestic violence noted as being present in their lives.
Over a third of those children were Aboriginal, and just under one in ten were culturally and linguistically diverse.
In a submission to the state's domestic violence royal commission, the committee noted the data was likely to be an underestimation.
A report commissioned by SA's domestic violence royal commission and released last week recommended urgent system reform to better support children who experience violence.
Child victims of domestic violence told the report's author Dr Kate Fitz-Gibbon about being beaten, imprisoned in their own homes and made to feel "unloved", but felt ignored when they tried to disclose the abuse.
"Young people interviewed described feeling invisible within adult-centric systems that treated children as extensions of their caregivers rather than as individuals with rights and experiences of harm in their own right," Dr Fitz-Gibbon wrote.
"Without tailored, accessible support pathways, many young people — particularly unaccompanied minors — experience extended periods of homelessness, housing instability, or mental health crisis without effective intervention."
Relationships Australia SA program manager Lakshmi Sri said children who lived through domestic violence could also experience housing insecurity, difficulty concentrating at school and social isolation.
"The ['Kids Who Have Been Through This'] book is a real example of how children feel like they can turn difficult experiences into something positive," she said.
"None of the children who joined knew each other to begin with, and by the end of it they were problem-solving together, they became really good friends, and that was something really important that came out of this process."
SA's domestic violence royal commissioner Natasha Stott Despoja described the picture book as "profoundly impacting" and said it had helped inform her findings and recommendations.
"It's incredibly important to centre young people and children's voices as part of this inquiry because we so often disregard the testimonies of young people and children," she said.
"I want to know what their needs are, what support they want, how the services haven't served them well in the past.
"That's what we've been able to garner, and I'm very, very proud of that fact."
Ms Stott Despoja will hand down a final report to the state government in August.
*Names in this story have been changed
