Latest news with #counselor
Washington Post
12-07-2025
- Climate
- Washington Post
Amid screams, a Camp Mystic counselor had 16 girls and one headlamp
The first drops of rain had yet to fall when Ainslie Bashara, a counselor at Camp Mystic, noticed that one of the younger girls had begun to tear up. They were walking back to their cabin, Giggle Box, as another storm swelled over the Texas Hill Country. The girl feared what was coming, so Ainslie wrapped an arm around her.
Yahoo
10-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
"When I See This, I Know There Will Be A Meaningful Change": Couples Therapists Are Revealing The Behaviors That Indicate A Couple Is Going To Make It
Relationships, even and perhaps especially the successful ones, are a lot of work. After all, no matter how much two people love each other, they are never fully compatible, as there will always be differing ideas or plans for the future. However, some couples are naturally able to handle these differences in a healthy way... So when Redditor u/SheenaAquaticBird asked, "Couple therapists of Reddit, what's a sure sign that a couple is going to work out?" Hundreds of couples therapists took to the comments to share the best indicators that a couple is in it for the long run. Without further ado, here are 17 of their most insightful responses: If you're a couples therapist who has noticed habits and behaviors that indicate a couple will stay together, feel free to tell us about it using this anonymous form! Related: 1."I'm a counselor, and the biggest indicator of success (in my opinion) is the ability to assume the best intent. Example: husband forgets to grab the trash bag on his way out in the morning. Rather than assuming he's lazy, rude, etc., the other partner assumes the most positive reason (he simply forgot, overlooked it, etc.) and doesn't personalize it. They look for the best intent until proven otherwise." "Sadly, most people who don't come to my office, don't do this. Couples who regularly engage in these behaviors don't typically need counseling." —u/Cupcake-the-first 2."The plans they have for the future are plans of being together, not fights over whose dream they are going to live." —u/ThreeLivesInOne "Marriages should be about collaboration, not compromise. In a compromise, one party tends to give up more than the other. Collaboration is the couple working together to find something that is agreeable for both of them. Compromise creates resentment in the long term." —u/BettyBoop003 3."The real answer is when couples show up in therapy before the relationship is in peril. The willingness to build skills and relationship resilience early on, as well as both partners taking accountability and responsibility for their own baggage and mental health, is a positive sign." —u/Fun-Rice-8002 "I went to counseling for anxiety and depression after a pregnancy loss. My counselor kept suggesting I bring my husband in, and my response was that we had a solid relationship and didn't need couples counseling. She told me that many couples wait until it's too late, and the time to start counseling is before problems fester. I never brought my husband, but in hindsight, I wish I had. (We're still happily married eight years later, but I sometimes wish we'd had the counseling so I had better communication tools with a precedent already set.)" —u/yourerightaboutthat 4."Studies show that how bids for attention are handled is one of the greatest predictors of a relationship lasting." "It seems so simple and inconsequential, but it's always the little things that matter most. When you see a funny TikTok and want to show your partner, do they act interested? When you talk about your day, do they get curious and ask questions? When you've had a bad day and flop on the couch with a sigh, do they ask you what's going on? Do you also respond to bids for attention from your partner? The more consistently you both respond, the more likely you are to make it for the long haul. With awareness comes growth. You might both be bad at these things, but genuinely love each other. The more you show up for each other in the little ways, the more in love you'll both feel. Responding to bids for attention shows that you not only love and care for each other but that you also respect the other person as someone worthy of your attention and curiosity. When you have love and respect, you cultivate trust. If you trust each other, there is literally no hardship you can't learn to navigate — sometimes with a little help." —u/Majestic-Rhino 5."If you're in a relationship, you shouldn't do 50-50 with each other. It should always be 100%." "If your partner is only feeling 48% on some days, you should fill in the 52% and make it whole for both of you and vice versa." —u/No-Excitement8181 Related: 6."Respect: Respect is the first thing to go in a relationship. I encourage every couple I see to recapture the respect they had on their first date. You shouldn't feel comfortable calling each other names or cursing each other out." —u/MidnightFridgeLight "I can't even imagine why someone would want to be in a relationship with a person who didn't respect them or called them names. I know it's more complicated than that and I might sound insensitive, but I've learned to not take sh*t from anyone, even those closest to me." —u/Perca_fluviatilis 7."Do you like your partner? Or are you just there because you got married?" "I genuinely like my wife, and she likes me. We both waited for someone we liked and waded through bad relationships to get here. I hate making her upset, and she hates it when I'm upset. She doesn't hate me when I'm upset; she hates the fact that I'm upset. I would do almost anything to make sure she's not upset, and she knows that. So when I forget to do something, we assume positive intent because the fact that we don't want to make each other sad is explicit and constantly reinforced. Sadness is a normal human emotion, and everyone should be allowed to feel how they feel. But if I am the one who made my wife sad, I want to fix it. People deserve to find someone who wants them to be happy. My wife and I didn't find each other until we were in our late 30s. We've lived in three different countries, had three kids, bought a house together before we were married, mixed finances, and fully planned to have a prenup, but dropped the ball. We broke every rule in the book, and it worked because we truly like each other (even if we piss each other off occasionally). Just love the person you chose. There's no such thing as 'good enough' when you're picking a partner for the rest of your life." —u/puck33420 8."When I start to see partners validating each other, I know there is going to be meaningful change." "Validation is challenging in general, partly because it often means admitting to some level of wrongdoing, which can feel exposing. You're putting aside your defenses, risking rejection, and showing your partner that their experience matters. When I see people making space for that kind of vulnerability, I'm incredibly hopeful." —u/tjm003 9."It's a positive sign if the couple can remember why they fell in love in the first place. When I ask one of them to tell me something they love about their partner, the successful couples light up immediately." —u/DesirableDarling "When I was seriously contemplating divorce, my partner and I tried this with our therapist. The love was very much there, but the issues were deep-rooted. A+ to our therapist for convincing my partner to try couples therapy and also allowing me to be completely disengaged during some sessions because I'd been the one doing the emotional work up to that point. We are now three years post-couples therapy (he's still in individual therapy), we've been together for 12 years and are happier than ever." —u/remadeforme Related: 10."Looking out for each other: When your partner starts crying, a sign of empathy is really important — a hand on the shoulder, an acknowledgment of pain, etc. Once you can listen to your partner cry without caring, you're not really a couple anymore, at least in my eyes." "Yes, when it came to light in a couple's counseling session with my ex that he struggled with my tears because he grew up with an emotionally manipulative mother who would cry for attention, and he couldn't get past that, I knew it was over." —u/MidnightFridgeLight 11."Couples should have a common hobby. It means their tastes are similar, and they can help and support each other in that hobby, whether it's playing video games or going to the gym." —u/beamerpook "Yes, they don't have to be identical in their likes and dislikes, but having something they can both do together builds positive common experiences. Plus, hobbies can reflect values, social circles, and even charitable contributions. I have a friend who absolutely loves football, and his wife thinks it's a waste of time — that's a lot of disconnect for a sizeable portion of the year." —u/abqkat 12."A sure sign is that the couple can still be friends underneath the romance. They still joke around, support each other's dreams, and genuinely like each other as people, not just as partners." "That kind of friendship and respect typically predicts a solid relationship." —u/Key-Championship3493 13."For the couples I've worked with, a lot of them rigidly stick to THEIR point of view. This, in turn, causes an endless loop of both sides not feeling heard and being defensive in response. My approach interrupts this and asks couples to tell me what they heard their partner say. This breaks that cycle and often reduces a lot of tension, regardless of other issues." "The ability to take this skill and move forward without me needing to constantly interrupt and enforce it is a good sign." —u/BrushedYourTeethYet 14."One green flag is when both partners can pick up on the context of each other's complaints and respond to the other party through that contextual understanding." "Example: Wife complains about her husband not taking out the garbage on time that morning. The husband's response is not about the specific incident of taking out the garbage but about the wife's general views or values surrounding timelines and how their visions of this might differ. It then allows a deeper conversation about their underlying values, and where there may be some common ground. If the husband gets defensive and says, 'I was busy that day, I had to get to work, ' or 'Well, you don't empty the dishwasher on time either,' there are more serious issues at play." —u/Pdawnm Related: 15."The best indicator is that both parties have empathy. This is shockingly absent in many of my clients. If you can't think about how your behavior impacts others, it will become a problem in the relationship." —u/Cupcake-the-first "My ex-wife wasn't empathetic at all. When I left her, my therapist said it was part of the pattern of narcissistic abuse. The most notable instance of this is when she left me sobbing on the couch, refusing to provide even a little comfort, in order to play video games with one of our mutual friends online. I was sobbing because my grandmother, who raised me, was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital with stroke symptoms, and no one knew if she'd be okay. My ex never apologized, and when I mentioned later that I was upset by her behavior and refusal to apologize, she told me I was 'too emotionally needy' and said I should pack and leave. I eventually gave her what she was asking for." —u/BurrSugar 16."Being flexible is the main factor, in my opinion. It is impossible to be completely compatible with someone, so, if both sides aren't willing to collaborate, it doesn't matter how much they love each other; it will end sooner or later. I have seen that a lot, and I can tell from the first or second session with my clients whether or not the relationship will work." —u/Acrobatic-Olive3754 "My family is appalled when I say my partner and I don't fight, and I've heard 'Wait until you've been together for 20 years' too many times. Whenever my partner and I have an issue, we talk it out and find a middle ground where both of us can be at least 80% happy. We try to come up with a creative solution or a third option, which usually turns out better than the original idea anyway. We've only been together for five years, but we haven't fought once because it's not 'me vs. him,' it's always 'us vs. the problem.'" —u/Kittys_Cafe 17."Every relationship is different; however, from my 10+ years of experience, I'd say that couples who play on the same team and present a united front are in it for the long run. This manifests itself positively in all aspects of the relationship. It's so cliché but couples need to understand that they are a team and there's no 'I' in 'Team.'" "Most couples who present a united front often recognize that it's 'us versus the problem,' not 'me versus you.' These couples are resolution-focused and tend to have a good sense of accountability. They can admit to how they contributed to the problem and are open to solutions and compromises. Scorekeepers and those who focus on who is right or wrong have a longer, harder journey. Sometimes, however, even united couples struggle because there are independent factors and life-changing hurdles that they need to work on separately. Without the necessary work, everything collapses." —u/TheSavageTherapist Did any of these signs surprise you? Couples therapists: What are some signs you've noticed that indicate a couple will be together long-term? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below! The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy. Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds: Also in Internet Finds:
Yahoo
07-07-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
As Kerr County's death toll rises to 75, Cruz says recent federal agency cuts to didn't impact flood warnings
The bodies of 27 children are among those that have been recovered, officials said during a news conference. Ten campers and one counselor remain missing. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas says the situation in Kerr County is 'every parent's nightmare.'
Washington Post
07-07-2025
- Washington Post
Ten campers, one counselor from Camp Mystic still missing
Climate Ten campers, one counselor from Camp Mystic still missing July 7, 2025 | 3:30 PM GMT The death toll in Kerr County has increased to 75, including 27 children, Kerr County Sheriff Larry Leitha said on July 7. Ten campers and one counselor from Camp Mystic remain missing.
Yahoo
07-07-2025
- Climate
- Yahoo
Deadly flooding devastates central Texas: Here's how to help
Torrential rains triggered flash flooding in central Texas Friday, killing at least 80 people, including 28 children. The Guadalupe River rose more than 20 feet in less than two hours. Located on the river is Camp Mystic, a girls summer camp in Kerr County. There are still campers and a counselor missing. As the search continues, charities are on the ground providing aid. You can help by clicking HERE or using the form below.
