Latest news with #divorced
ABC News
6 days ago
- Business
- ABC News
House-sitting saved me enough to buy my own home
I'm a 42-year-old divorced stand-up comic. This isn't a cry for help — I'm merely putting my life in context. I'm allergic to working in the corporate world despite an MBA and multiple burnouts to prove my eligibility as a capitalist stooge. And I'm also approaching one of the most vulnerable groups of people at risk of homelessness: single women over the age of 45. After my favourite uncle passed away in Pakistan, I was forced to confront the fragility of life and how I want to live; that I want to be of service while also being a creative. And lay down my roots, find my ground. At the time I was bouncing between sublets because I didn't want to rent a shoebox for $2,000 a month, nor live in a share house. It's bad enough doing stand-up comedy in my middle ages, let alone being part of a share-house gang. I don't like chore charts. Property ownership has always been a strange concept to me, but the older I get, the more I understand that without it, I'm at the mercy of others to not evict me. But there's the catch-22 of trying to save money while renting in the current market. A friend told me about a Victorian housing scheme where the government contributes up to 25 per cent of the property price for a share of the property — which you buy back over time. But first I'd need to qualify for this scheme and a bank loan. So my task became finding a meaningful, stable job, saving a deposit — and not living in a share house until I had bought my own place. In my previous life I was a market research consultant in the corporate sector. That was until I couldn't take the soul-crushing, profits-focused approach anymore. Then I tried surviving on an array of casual gigs: Urdu translator, mental health support provider, medical typist. Going back to a more stable role, I wanted to have an actual career that worked for me. Luckily, after a few months of job hunting I landed a social policy adviser role at a not-for-profit that I genuinely love. It's not as lucrative as my former corporate roles but it's fulfilling and it's sustainable. To avoid living in a share house as I waited to buy my own place, I turned to house-sitting. I'd previously forayed into this nomadic lifestyle when I'd quit a high paying corporate job to do my personal Eat Pray Love journey around Australia. This time, in Melbourne, I started with looking after a friend's three cats for a month. It was lovely until the fattest jumped on my bare back and dug it's claws in for grip.' Then I minded another friend's cat for a couple of weeks whose sweetness restored my faith in the feline race. And so it continued. I joined some house-sitting Facebook groups, which led to more gigs. Pretty soon I was going from house-sit to house-sit; cat to dog. My house-sits ranged from a week to several months. In between, I stayed with generous friends and was able to line up house-sits in a way that I didn't overstay my welcome with them. Most people upon finding out I house-sat for 18 months express awe, bordering on disbelief. No-one was more surprised than my family in Pakistan, where you have security guards to make sure no-one gets inside your house, while in Australia people freely give you their key. Over the 18 months I sampled a buffet of accommodation types and suburbs: from CBD flats to suburban homes. The collection of books and music were varied from place to place, as was the spice collection; some people don't even have salt while others have imported saffron. It helped me discover the kind of place I wanted to live in; the type of suburb that was right for me and the kitchen gadgets I could no longer live without (hello air fryer!). The main challenge was the lack of stability and not knowing where I'd live next. The memory foam pillow in a new home would take a couple of days to take note of my skull and I'd get used to the animals, only to repeat this cycle in a few weeks. Not to mention there are only so many wardrobe combinations of three pants and five tops that come with this lifestyle. Was it better than sharing? Having a place to myself was helpful as a creative introvert and it never got isolating because of the cute pets. Plus, house-sitting and a frugal lifestyle allowed me to save almost $60,000. Have you chosen a particular lifestyle as a way to save money or make life more affordable? We'd love to hear from you. Share with us here. When I qualified for the housing scheme, I started property hunting. After six weeks of crowded inspections, I viewed a sunny two-bedroom unit with a courtyard and decided this was it. Good location, good size, good price. I promptly sent my offer and fortunately the owner accepted. Now I've a job I love — that I would probably never have found had I not decided on this goal — and a property I'm stoked about. And thanks to saving on rent for 18 months, even after the deposit I have a healthy offset account that I hope will allow me to pay off my mortgage by retirement age, despite buying at 42. Would I house-sit again? Yes, but just on holidays and in the meantime, I'll get a cat — and a house-sitter when I go away. Amna Bakhtiar is a stand-up comic and writer from Pakistan living in Naarm/ can find her on Instagram.
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: Every man I meet online wants to marry me
DEAR ABBY: I am twice divorced and recently celebrated my 61st birthday. I look pretty fantastic, and I'm in great health. My husbands were really great guys, and I have maintained positive relationships with both. My first marriage lasted 20 years; the second lasted 10. I have been flying solo for the last five years. I love my life and lifestyle and have no desire to marry again. I like having my own space and the freedom to do as I please. My dilemma is, while I'm open to dating and having companionship, the men I connect with online all want to be married! As soon as I tell them I'm not looking for marriage, they disappear. Recently, I was literally hung up on in mid-conversation because of my response to the marriage question. How can I get to the 'let's meet in person' part if the first or second phone conversation ends things because I'm being honest? I don't want to lie. It's challenging trying to explain that I no longer believe I must be married in order to feel fulfilled. I have family and wonderful friends in my life, plus I'm very outgoing. I admit that I do miss some aspects of being in an exclusive relationship. It's just that I'm not trying to be a Mrs. anymore. Third time's the charm … NOT! Please advise. — STOPPING AT TWICE IN TEXAS DEAR STOPPING: I hear from so many women who have the opposite problem that you are having. As soon as they indicate that they ARE interested in marriage, the men head for the hills. You either haven't met the right men yet, or you may be delivering your disinterest in marriage message too strongly. You might have better luck if you specify what you DO want — which appears to be companionship and a monogamous relationship. DEAR ABBY: I need advice about my daughter. She is in an abusive marriage. Her four boys, aged 3 to 12, have been affected by what is going on. They are not properly disciplined and are being abused as well. Her husband is on drugs and abuses my daughter mentally and physically in front of the children. Should I keep letting her take my grandsons back to a bad situation, or should I call child protective services? This is tearing me up inside. We are not young enough to handle caring for the kids full time because they're so messed up. They'd end up in foster care. What should I do? My daughter would probably lose her mind if she lost them, but I can't stand to see them suffer. — ALARMED IN MISSOURI DEAR ALARMED: There may be a less drastic solution than calling child protective services. The next time the husband acts out, call the police. Once he's out of the house, help your daughter find a battered women's shelter that will accept her and her children until she can become independent. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233; may be able to help you locate one. This would be better than turning your grandchildren over to strangers. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Daily Mail
23-05-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
Why all my single friends refuse to date men over 50: It's not just your moods and Viagra headaches - there's some very specific sins driving us into the arms of toyboys: AMANDA GOFF
They're the words that send a shiver down the spine of every woman who's single and over 45: date a man your age and you'll end up either as a 'nurse or a purse'. Brutal? Maybe. But ask any divorced mid-life woman dipping her shellac toes back into the dating pool and she will tell you honestly - and with experience to back her up - that too many men in their 50s, 60s and older are either falling apart physically, financially or emotionally.
