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How many close friends do you really need?
How many close friends do you really need?

News.com.au

time3 days ago

  • General
  • News.com.au

How many close friends do you really need?

In 2025, many of us are living alone. Or we live with housemates, cotenants, flatmates – people who may share a fridge, a lease, even a dog, but not necessarily our inner world. While the population swells in our cities, and digital devices keep us constantly connected, many of us live in a kind of emotional isolation. We go to work, we cook our meals, we scroll our phones, we answer messages – and still feel deeply alone. For generations, it was a given that our romantic partner, our spouse, was also our closest confidante – the person we could cry in front of, confide in, lean on when the day had simply been too much. But for some, the presence of a partner only throws the lack of connection into sharper relief. Intimacy cannot be assumed. And for the growing number of people living solo, the question becomes starker: if not a partner, then who? The answer, it turns out, is friends. Not a friend. Friends – plural. Research from News Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank reveals that those with the best self-reported mental wellbeing are also those with the most people in their corner. On average, people with high wellbeing have five people they can rely on; those with poorer mental health report just over three. Australia is in the grips of a mental health crisis, and people are struggling to know who to turn to, especially our younger generations. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, equipping Aussies with the skills needs to have the most important conversation of their life. That gap might sound small, but in practice, it's enormous. It's the difference between feeling like there's always someone you can call, and running through a dwindling mental list of names when things start to unravel. The data is compelling. It confirms what many of us know instinctively, but sometimes forget to prioritise: that connection is not an optional extra — it is vital. Friendship is not decoration for a busy life. It is one of the structures that hold us upright. And yet, many Australians don't feel able to build or rely on that structure. The research also found that nearly half of us feel unprepared or unsure how to talk about mental health – even when someone turns to us for help. And when it comes to talking about our own struggles, we hold back out of fear: not fear of judgement, but fear of burdening others. We silence ourselves to protect the people we care about, not realising that this silence builds barriers where we need bridges. What emerges from this research is not just a picture of loneliness, but a profound uncertainty about how to connect in meaningful ways. Many of us are deeply social in practice – attending events, replying to group chats, showing up for work drinks – but feel emotionally cut off. We keep things light. We're funny, dependable, generous. But not vulnerable. Not fully ourselves. And in doing so, we miss out on the nourishment that true connection can bring. It's tempting to try to solve this with another app, a new social initiative, a government-funded campaign. And those all have their place. But there's something more elemental at stake here – something that doesn't require policy or innovation, but courage. We need to talk to our friends. Really talk. We need to be brave enough to say, 'I'm not okay.' Or even just, 'I'm struggling today.' We need to listen to each other without scrambling for solutions. To be present, even if we don't have the perfect words. Of course, that kind of honesty doesn't appear overnight. It takes time, and trust. But the alternative – isolation, both physical and emotional – carries its own costs. Mental ill-health is not just a personal issue. It's a public one. It affects families, workplaces, healthcare systems, communities. And it's growing. We cannot afford to pretend that mental wellbeing is something people can cultivate entirely alone. The most resilient among us still need others. That's why the link between support networks and mental health is so powerful. It gives us something tangible to work with. If we want to improve wellbeing, we can start by expanding our circles. That might mean reaching out to old friends and suggesting a catch-up that's more than just a walk-and-talk. It might mean gently probing when someone gives a breezy 'I'm fine' that doesn't ring true. It might mean noticing who is always the listener and never the speaker – and inviting them to take up space. These small actions don't always feel like mental health interventions, but they are. A text message that says 'thinking of you' might be the first step out of someone's emotional fog. A regular coffee catch-up might become someone's only appointment they truly look forward to. We don't need to be therapists to be impactful. We just need to be consistent, and willing to show up – even imperfectly. And we need to remind ourselves, too, that we are not burdens. If someone cares for us, they probably want to know how we really are. It is not weak to need others. It is human. In a culture that prizes independence and stoicism, this may feel radical. But if the research tells us anything, it's that no one thrives in isolation. We thrive in connection. We flourish in friendship. So maybe the real message from all this data isn't about mental health campaigns or social trends. Maybe it's simpler. Maybe it's this: pick up the phone. Send the message. Make the plan. Build the net before you fall. Because one day, you might need it. And so might someone else.

7 Signs Someone Feels 'Emotionally Isolated,' Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist
7 Signs Someone Feels 'Emotionally Isolated,' Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist

Yahoo

time06-07-2025

  • Health
  • Yahoo

7 Signs Someone Feels 'Emotionally Isolated,' Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist

7 Signs Someone Feels 'Emotionally Isolated,' Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist originally appeared on Parade. When the going gets tough, it makes sense that many of us retreat sometimes, preferring instead to hide away from others and process things on our own. While this certainly can be a healthy coping mechanism for a short time, if someone begins to emotionally close themselves off from friends and loved ones, it can be cause for concern. Ahead, look for the seven signs that you or someone you care about might be 'emotionally isolated.' Plus, a psychologist reveals what this term actually means, common causes of emotional isolation and how to help someone in your life if they're feeling this deep loneliness, disconnection or Being 'emotionally isolated' means that you may feel disconnected from others on a deep, personal level—even if you're around people on a regular basis, as clinical psychologist Dr. Lauren Cook explains. 'You may feel like no one notices you or that you're emotionally unsupported by others,' she says. 'You might go through the motions socially and others may even be surprised to know that you're feeling lonely and disconnected. For others, it can even border into a dissociative state where you feel disconnected from your body and physicality.' Related: There are several things that can lead to someone feeling emotionally isolated. According to Dr. Cook, this state can come about from past trauma, chronic stress, depression, anxiety (especially social anxiety) or 'simply not feeling safe enough to open up,' she can also result from life changes—such as moving to a new city, going through a breakup or losing a loved one. 'It's important to know though that these feelings do not have to last forever,' Dr. Cook says. 'It's not a diagnosis or a chronic life condition.' Related: 7 Signs of Depression Most People Miss, According to Mental Health Experts 'It's that fake smile or a forced laugh, but you know that they're not genuinely enjoying the moment with you,' Dr. Cook observes. Related: You may notice that your pal or loved one only shares small details, only wants to send you memes or keeps the focus solely on you, as Dr. Cook says. 'It can mean they're avoiding their own feelings,' she adds. Dr. Cook says that in some cases, staying 'perpetually busy' is actually a defense mechanism, and can be a sign of emotional isolation. 'When you keep yourself so distracted that you have no time to feel your feelings, it's a cue of emotional isolation, even if that's not intentional,' she This person may say that they're fine or that their problems are no big deal, but it may be due to the fact that they're worried about being a burden to others, as Dr. Cook says. Related: 'When they need support the most, they go into a dark tunnel where they don't answer your texts, you can't get ahold of them (sometimes for weeks) and they've just generally ghosted,' Dr. Cook explains. Dr. Cook points out that emotional isolation isn't just about suppressing pain externally—it's also not letting others in on the positive moments 'It's important to make note of this because the two can go hand in hand,' Dr. Cook cautions. 'When people emotionally isolate, they can feel ashamed of their pain or like no one wants to hear about it. If this is the case, it's important to get external and professional help. This feeling of intensity can pass.' Related: Parents and Grandparents Should Look Out for These 11 Signs of Loneliness in Loved Ones Perhaps you're noticing all the signs in someone you suspect is emotionally isolating themselves. To help, Dr. Cook recommends 'creating an environment where they can share, one where there's no pressure to disclose.' She adds, 'Let them know you're there for them, not to fix them, but to listen.'Additionally, you should avoid pushing someone to share, and instead, you may want to start with a little self-disclosure yourself 'where you open up about your own emotions.' Dr. Cook goes on to say, 'Show that you can demonstrate empathy for their experience. They may feel like no one cares or could understand.' Related: Lastly, if someone begins to withdraw completely from communicating, or they seem disingenuous, forced or fake in their interactions, be mindful of these differences. 'Look out for major shifts in mood, changes in sleep or appetite, feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness or any clues that they're thinking about self-harm or suicide,' Dr. Cook advises. 'Don't ignore your gut—if something feels wrong, it's okay to check in directly or seek help from a mental health professional.' Note: If you or someone you care about is experiencing suicidal thoughts, know that you are not alone and help is available. Reaching out can feel difficult, but support can make a life-changing difference. The is available 24/7 by calling or texting , or by visiting Trained counselors offer free, confidential support for anyone in emotional distress or crisis. Up Next:Dr. Lauren Cook, clinical psychologist 7 Signs Someone Feels 'Emotionally Isolated,' Even Around Loved Ones, According to a Psychologist first appeared on Parade on Jul 5, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 5, 2025, where it first appeared.

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