Latest news with #emotionalregulation
Forbes
4 days ago
- Health
- Forbes
Want To Be Happier? Follow What Your Nervous System Is Telling You
Photo by FPG/We've long been told that happiness is a mindset, a perspective, maybe even a daily practice. But something else is also deeply embodied, radical and accurate: happiness isn't just in our heads, it's in our nervous systems, too. From the firing of the prefrontal cortex to signals traveling along the vagus nerve, the body continually broadcasts cues about how safe, connected and emotionally stable it truly feels, whether or not we are consciously aware of it. That's why emerging research reframes happiness not as a fleeting emotion, but as a full-body physiological state, shaped by autonomic rhythms, gut ecosystem, sleep patterns and digital habits. Elevated heart rate variability (HRV), for instance, a testable marker of vagal resilience, correlates with emotional regulation, reduced inflammation and sharpened cognitive clarity. In controlled settings, individuals with higher resting HRV tend to perform better on attention, decision-making and memory tasks, and recover from stress more quickly. Moreover, recent sleep studies also link vagally mediated HRV during REM sleep to improved emotional memory integration. In practical terms, a regulated nervous system boosts mood and rewires how the body processes and carries emotional experiences forward. If your system is dysregulated, gratitude journaling and mindset shifts can only do so much. Meanwhile, a global intervention study called the Big Joy Project tested whether brief, daily "joy snacks" (think expressing gratitude, noticing awe or performing small acts of kindness) could boost well-being in just one week. Across 17,000 participants in 169 countries, these science-based micro-practices improved mood, sleep, perceived control, and sense of connection, with greater benefits reported among less privileged groups. Researchers emphasize that joy is a skill people can build with intention. At the neurological core of joy is integration, especially between the prefrontal cortex (which governs self-regulation and focus) and the amygdala (the brain's alarm center). In minds attuned to happiness, these regions communicate fluidly, enabling emotional agility, impulse control and perspective-taking. The vagus nerve plays a central role in this integration. It connects the brainstem to the heart, lungs, gut and immune system. When vagal tone is strong, it signals safety across your body, lowering stress, improving digestion and reducing emotional reactivity. Studies have shown that higher vagal activation predicts better social connections, higher trust, and increased subjective well-being. Notably, research published in Frontiers in Psychology found that increased vagal activity might not only lower stress but also support emotional intimacy and sexual health, suggesting that joy and pleasure arise from regulated physiology. Heart rate variability has become a go-to biomarker for resilience and mental stamina. A 2024 review reported that HRV training enhances mood, focus and vitality in diverse populations. Furthermore, the gut-brain axis, our internal two-way communication highway, continues to reshape our understanding of mood. Strains such as Bifidobacterium longum and Lactobacillus plantarum have been shown to lower cortisol levels, reduce anxiety and improve emotional resilience. These "psychobiotics" are now being incorporated into supplements designed to regulate mood by promoting overall microbial balance and gut health. Enter: whole foods rich in fiber, omega-3s, B vitamins and fermented foods that boost gut diversity and neurotransmitter precursors, such as GABA and serotonin. Research in Nutritional Neuroscience suggests that regular consumption of fermented foods is linked to reduced social anxiety and enhanced well-being. Regulation extends beyond biology. It's reinforced in how we live. A 2025 report from Stanford's Human Technology Lab suggests that digital boundaries (such as limiting doomscrolling and evening screen time) can lead to higher HRV and reduced anxiety, especially in women who juggle caregiving and emotional labor. High-performing individuals are responding with tools like Apollo Neuro (a wearable device that uses gentle vibration to stimulate the vagus nerve), Sensate (a sound-based vagal stimulation device) and HRV biofeedback apps such as Elite HRV and Inner Balance. These tools make regulation real-time and empowering, not reactive. Additionally, joy snack practices rooted in gratitude, awe, novelty and social connection, drawing from both scientific interventions and personal experience, have become mainstream. These small acts are not insignificant; they strengthen emotional reserves, reduce stress and increase one's willingness to help others, to name a few. Together, these tools and micro-practices are reshaping happiness from external attainment to internal regulation, making joy measurable, trainable and fiercely embodied. In the past, joy was often about external achievement or emotional suppression. But the future is different. It asks us not just to feel good, but to feel safe enough to feel everything. Happiness isn't just lightness. Its presence, regulation and the courage to slow down. In a world that's rushing us forward, the most radical act of self‑care may be to listen: to our bodies, our rhythms and the wisdom waiting inside us.
Yahoo
23-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Mom Sparks Debate After Saying Her Kid Should ‘Hit Back Harder' if They Get Hit First
Experts say our understanding of emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and social consequences have changed–which means our advice should also change. Should kids hit back if another child struck first? The question has sparked a debate on TikTok after Brittany Norris, a Louisiana mother of two, shared her controversial take. 'If someone hits my kid, I'm not raising them to go tell the teacher — not raising a snitch,' said Norris in a July TikTok. 'Handle it yourself, hit back, defend yourself, and if that's not enough, I will interfere. If that's controversial, I don't really back harder. Thank you.' The take has received a slew of polarizing opinions, with some users applauding Norris' advice and others raising concerns. 'I was always taught that I can't be the one to throw the first punch, but I damn well better throw the last,' writes one person. 'We use the 'don't start it, but you better finish it' rule,' shares another. A responder, who isn't on board with the idea states, 'This teaches kids to solve problems with violence instead of seeking help or resolution. It also undermines trust in teachers and makes schools harder to manage.' At least one teacher agrees, saying, 'As an elementary teacher, this is the mindset of nearly every parent, and so fighting is out of control.' Why Is the Idea of Hitting Back So Polarizing? While the idea of hitting back can trigger a swift reaction either way from parents, behavioral experts say the nuance involved deserves more thought. 'The conversation about hitting back is layered because it triggers two important parental instincts: the desire to protect our children and the desire to raise kind and well-adjusted human beings,' Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C, psychologist and co-founder of Phoenix Health tells Parents. Dr. Guarnotta understands the the inclination to tell kids to hit someone who struck them first, because it feels like justice. However, she doesn't advise parents to teach their kids to retaliate. Other experts agree. 'It's not surprising that the conversation around 'hitting back' becomes layered and even polarizing,' says Zishan Khan, MD, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist and regional medical Director with Mindpath Health. 'Much of this stems from generational beliefs about toughness, survival, and respect, especially in communities where standing up for oneself was framed as a necessary defense against bullying or oppression.' Dr. Khan notes how many adults remember being told, 'If someone hits you, hit them back, or else you'll be seen as weak.' However, he stresses that times have changed. 'We now understand far more about emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and the social consequences of physical retaliation, particularly in structured environments like schools where rules are often rigidly enforced,' he says. So, Should You Teach a Child to Hit Back? Generally, experts advise against teaching a child to retaliate with physical contact. 'While it comes from a protective plane, it teaches children that violence is an acceptable tool for solving conflicts with peers,' Dr. Guarnotta says. 'Hitting back also often escalates the situation and increases the likelihood of someone getting hurt.' Dr. Khan also mentioned the potential for injury—and missed opportunities. 'We want to equip children with skills that are sustainable in all environments—school, playground, or home—where verbal problem-solving, emotional regulation, and seeking help are far more constructive in the long-term." Indeed, not hitting back doesn't mean 'accepting harm.' 'Kids need to be taught to stand up for themselves,' says therapist Laura Fink. 'Hitting back is not the only way of doing that. This conversation is really about educating our children on power, boundaries, and self-worth.' With that said, there are, as with many rules of thumb, some exceptions. 'There are rare situations where hitting back may be necessary, especially when a child is in danger and needs to protect themselves,' says Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D, a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind. 'If a stranger is physically attacking them or trying to take them somewhere against their will, their safety comes first. In those moments, self-defense is not just allowed, it's critical.' Dr. Hafeez emphasizes that, in such instances, there's no other option but to use physical force. 'This is different from reacting to a peer during a disagreement or playground scuffle,' she says. 'The goal in a dangerous situation is to create enough space to get away and find help, not to win a fight.' Tips for Helping Children Manage If Another Child Hits First So, if it's not advisable to teach kids to hit back when someone else hits them, what is? Experts share the following: Distinguish between tattling and support Fink specifies, 'Tattling is usually about getting someone in trouble. Asking for help is about getting support or keeping someone safe.' Dr. Hafeez says using concrete examples can help children understand the difference. 'Try saying, 'If someone pushes you or hits you, that's not tattling, it's getting help when someone crosses a line,'' Dr. Hafeez says. 'Reinforce that asking an adult for help in serious situations is a smart and brave choice, not something to feel bad about.' Dr. Khan suggests role-playing scenarios with stuffed animals, is useful for demonstrating minor conflicts and actual harm, so kids feel confident when they opt to involve a grown-up. Teach the power of pause Hitting is often a knee-jerk reaction. Pausing can help. 'Help your child recognize the 'fight or flight' feelings that come up when they're hurt or angry, like a fast heartbeat or clenched fists, and practice deep breathing or counting to 10 as a way to pause before reacting,' Dr. Khan says. 'This brief pause can prevent an impulsive response that they may regret later.' Name the feeling 'Peer conflict among kids tends to escalate quickly because children have difficulty naming their emotions,' Dr. Guarnotta notes. 'They might feel the intensity of anger, but struggle to put words to it. Teaching kids about their own emotions can help them name these feelings when they arise, which will also help them respond more effectively.' Dr. Guarnotta suggests using statements like, "It sounds like you felt angry when he took your toy,' helps kids process emotion. Use strong, clear words Societal norms often glorify physical strength. However, Dr. Guarnotta suggests teaching children to use strong voices and language to set boundaries. 'One of the most important tools that we can give our children is [the ability] to use their voice,' Dr. Guarnotta says. 'You can role-play these types of situations at home with statements like 'stop' and 'don't touch me.' Practicing this can help prepare children for applying these skills in real-life situations.' Walk away Leaving instead of fighting back doesn't mean a child accepted mistreatment. Instead, it can be a sign of strength and maturity. 'Let children know it's OK to leave a situation that feels wrong or unsafe,' Dr. Hafeez says. 'Walking away isn't weakness—it's using good judgment to stay in control. Praise them when they handle things by stepping back instead of reacting physically. Over time, this helps them feel strong without needing to fight.' Read the original article on Parents Solve the daily Crossword
SBS Australia
18-07-2025
- Health
- SBS Australia
Music programs hitting the right note to support youth wellbeing
Whether it's memories of singing or playing the recorder, learning music can begin at an early age. "Well, it depends who you ask but there is a famous quote by a Hungarian ethnomusicologist, composer and educator (Zoltán Kodály) who said 9 months before the birth of the mother (is the age to begin music learning). So I think that sums it up quite nicely. It is never too young. But of course it needs to be age and developmentally appropriate." That's Dr Jason Goopy, a researcher and a music educator who has spent 15 years teaching in Australian primary and secondary schools. He has been trying to connect the dots - and figure out the role that music learning can play in supporting the wellbeing of young people. From the ages of five to 25 - what impact does engagement with music have when it comes to aspects of wellbeing, including emotional regulation, building relationships and promoting positive mental health? Sifting through the research, he helped to identify 423 sources which were then whittled down even further - to keep the research goal in focus. Australia and the UK emerged as the key countries where the most work has been done. "Well what is really interesting is that this is an emerging field. And we did actually do an international scoping review of all the literature globally, but predominantly research is currently situated in Australia and the UK. And that is obviously something that as a global community and a scholarly community - it needs addressing." He says there were clear trends that emerged from his review, published in the peer-reviewed journal Research Studies in Music Education. "The motivation behind this study wasn't necessarily to look at how to create professional musicians. It was how can we be our best selves through learning music. And so the benefits that we're seeing relate to social confidence. Relate to healthy relationships, relate to social cohesion, emotional regulation, identity development. There are also educational benefits, in terms of accomplishment and achievement. And these kind of benefits that are experienced through music we found are directly transferable to other aspects of life. And to those who are most vulnerable in the community, we found that they benefit the most. Achievement in music can translate to achievement in other areas of life very easily." The review also pointed to the factors that make a music learning program effective for the wellbeing outcomes of young people - across different settings, whether in a school or as a community initiative. Tailored and bespoke programs were particularly effective at targeting certain population groups like Indigenous youths, those with a disability; or others from a refugee or migrant background. "There is quite a mix within this scoping review - and they include people who are disengaged in schools, to those who are struggling to connect with the current schooling system. There are also those who are experiencing mental health challenges. There is also included in the study - also music in prisons for young people who are incarcerated and in contact with the criminal justice system. So the whole range of contexts that we have engaged within this particular study, which is why we wanted to go beyond school. Because music is having a powerful influence even beyond school, in the community. But yes, we're finding yes, it's characteristics and properties of music that is making a difference - but also the social aspects of doing music. Music is fundamentally a social practice - and coming together to make music, even beyond listening to music we're finding is having substantial benefits to individuals and their communities." The power of music to help support young people to thrive is something that Dom Brook is deeply acquainted with. "When you get it into shaping your story and having a voice especially for a young person or adolescent who haven't find their purpose or voice, music or lyric writing helps you with your emotions. It helps you have a voice a suppose. Find your sense of purpose and move through some of those maybe troubling emotions - and make sense of them. Music is the counsellor for that." At the age of 17, a second-hand guitar played an important role in helping him to get through some tough times. "I had an upbringing that was all over the place and no father figure. Quite poor. It was the next door neighbour that believed in me. He was throwing out a guitar and wanted to give it to someone who would use it. And it was at that point that I was just getting into finding my voice through music very late in the picture. Never did music in school. So I was about 16, 17. And I paid for a songwriting camp for me to go to. And this camp was one of those lifechanging moments that I came back from this camp knowing that I wanted the voice that I had found, the purpose that I found through music. Something was just sparked inside of me to help others - and change lives through music." More than 20 years ago, he decided to do that with a youth mentoring program, Musicians Making a Difference - also known by its acronym MMAD. The in-person outreach is in New South Wales and Queensland, with online programs extending access nationally. He says the mission is to help at-risk youth find their future direction - whether that be in music or in fields like journalism. "Young people out of juvenile justice refuges, kids that are homeless. Kids even from pretty good families, but they're sorting out stuff. But I would say the majority are at-risk young people. We create this special environment where at MMAD it's family. And where there is freedom from judgement. There is no judgement. It is a place they can be themselves. It is a place where they can find their childlike self again. And find confidence in that and then go onto make their lives remarkable. The funny thing about MMAD is our vision is to see have every young person have someone who believes in them. And we use music because it is such a powerful tool to be able to breakdown those barriers and find what is special about young people - and their journey." The work has been transformative for graduates like Daniel Harvey, these days known by the stage name D Minor. The musical artist found a knack for writing rap lyrics - a skill that was honed when he joined the program at the age of 14. At the time he was referred by a youth counsellor. "I had been through so much at that stage. Foster care, refuge system, being a state ward. And not having a sense of belonging or feeling accepted anywhere. And then meeting MMAD just feeling like I belong someone, feeling that there was a bigger, purpose for me. Just having someone who believes in you - and being able to share my music. Having someone to encourage me through that process. And kind of use that music as a tool and outlet to overcome some hurt and pain, yeah." That included communicating his experience of being homeless at the age of 11. And it took him on stage to audition for Australia's Got Talent in 2019, with an original song entitled 'Concrete Pillow'. That took him in the direction of continuing to cultivate his skills in storytelling. He says the impact it has had on him is almost beyond words. "If someone can listen to my music and they can feel like okay, they can overcome something. I should be able to share that (my story). And that for me is incredible. And especially, when there is a message behind it to raise awareness of the situation. It is quite big - and not something that I ever imagined. But the journey has been incredible." For Jason Goopy, the early experiences people have with music are incredibly powerful. He says the potential in supporting people to thrive has yet to be fully realised. "I think it is time for the federal government in particular is stepping up to make sure that every child has access to a music and arts education, regardless of the postcode, regardless of the family they were born into. It is essential for a complete education. And we're talking about a better, fairer education system. Music has to be part of that. There is no question."
Forbes
14-07-2025
- General
- Forbes
3 Kinds Of Silence That Help Couples Heal After Fights, By A Psychologist
Not all silence is created equal. Some wounds fester in silence while others gently close. The ... More difference lies in intention. We often think of silence after a fight as a red flag. Awkward, uncomfortable or emotionally punishing. But not all silence is the same. In emotionally charged moments, words can quickly become weapons. Silence, when approached consciously, can serve as a pause button, an invitation to regroup rather than retreat. Here are three powerful types of silence that can support healing after conflict, especially in close relationships. 1. Regulation Silence 'I care about this conversation. I just need a moment to breathe.' This kind of silence is a form of protection. Regulation silence is what happens when one or both partners consciously step away from the conversation to manage their physiological and emotional responses, rather than letting anxiety drive the exchange. In moments of conflict, the amygdala — the brain's alarm system — goes on high alert. Our heart rate spikes, cortisol floods the body, and suddenly, it's not your partner you're hearing. It's your survival instincts taking over for you. In this state, even the calmest sentence can sound like an attack. A 2018 study published in Organization Studies highlights how unprocessed anxiety spreads through groups and partnerships, often pushing people into reactive, defensive patterns. The study identifies two possible paths in such moments: a 'brittle trajectory,' where tension is acted out and causes emotional fractures, and a 'resilient trajectory,' where anxiety is paused, reflected upon and defused. What allows people to take the second path is something the researchers call a 'relational pause.' That's exactly what regulation silence offers in intimate relationships. A pause that protects the bond from being hijacked by unchecked emotion. It gives your nervous system space to recalibrate, and your values time to re-enter the conversation. To put this to practice, This isn't the same as shutting down or disappearing. Regulation silence is short, contained and signaled clearly to the other person. 2. Processing Silence 'I'm sitting with what you said.' Not all silence is created equal. After a fight, silence can feel like avoidance or punishment but when used with care, it can become a space for healing. What makes the difference is the intention behind the quiet. Research on silence in clinical settings shows that when silence is treated as a mechanical tool — something we're told to 'just use' — it can actually increase discomfort and disconnection. But when silence is grounded in 'compassionate presence,' it becomes a bridge. This compassionate presence can also take the form of 'compassionate silence,' a form of quiet rooted in attunement, curiosity and reflection. The same principle applies to relationships, as processing silence is all about going inward. It's a moment when you stop rehearsing your rebuttal and start wondering, 'What were they really trying to say?' You begin to reflect not just on their words, but on your reactions. What felt like an attack may, in hindsight, reveal itself as a vulnerable ask for closeness. But it's difficult to hear that meaning when it's all too chaotic. Stillness is important to really hear through it. Here's how you can practice this: As the research suggests, silence only brings about healing when it comes from a mindset of emotional presence. So rather than 'using silence,' inhabit it. Processing silence is often where accountability begins because you finally have the space to understand your impact. 3. Reconnection Silence 'We're still here. Together.' After a conflict, even when the air has cleared, words can still feel heavy. That's where reconnection silence comes in. It's the silence that doesn't signal distance, but deep trust. It's the gentle stillness that says: 'We've been through it, and we're still choosing each other.' A 2014 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin on conversational flow shows that while silences or delays often feel threatening between strangers, they can have the opposite effect in close relationships. When the bond feels secure, partners tend to interpret silence as a sign of shared understanding. This shared reality helps people feel socially validated, even without exchanging words. In this light, reconnection silence becomes a kind of relational shorthand. You don't need to explain everything. All you need is each other. A hand on a shoulder. A cup of tea offered wordlessly. Folding laundry in parallel. These small, unspoken acts allow the body to remember safety and the heart to remember closeness. No words are really needed. Here's how you can give such repair your best shot. Silence doesn't actually erode connection. If anything, it only reinforces it. If you are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of silence, reflect: When silence is chosen with clarity and care, it becomes a bridge. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for your relationship is to pause. To stop talking, just long enough to actually listen. First to yourself. Then to each other. Does your relationship have the depth to hold presence, even in silence? Take the Active-Empathic Listening Scale to find out.
Daily Mail
07-07-2025
- Health
- Daily Mail
Chilling discovery exposes tiny differences between psychopaths and ordinary people
Scientists have discovered what really separates a cold-blooded psychopath from the average person. A team from the University of Pennsylvania has uncovered stark differences in brain structure that may explain why psychopaths think, feel, and behave in profoundly disturbing ways. Using MRI scans, researchers compared the brains of 39 adult men with high psychopathy scores to those of a control group, and what they found was unsettling. In psychopaths, researchers found shrunken areas in the basal ganglia, which controls movement and learning, the thalamus, the body's sensory relay station, and the cerebellum, which helps coordinate motor function. But the most striking changes were found in the orbitofrontal cortex and insular regions, areas that govern emotional regulation, impulse control, and social behavior. In other words, the parts of the brain that keep most people from lying, lashing out or harming others were noticeably compromised. 'These are the very traits psychopaths struggle with,' the researchers explained. However, the scan also revealed weaker connections between brain regions tied to empathy, guilt, and moral reasoning, suggesting that the callous behavior of psychopaths may not just be a personality issue, but is deeply rooted in neural wiring. While some traits, like deception and manipulation, are likely shaped by life experience, the physical brain differences point to a biological foundation for why psychopaths act the way they do. And that, scientists say, could help unlock new ways to identify, and possibly treat, individuals at risk of extreme antisocial behavior. The research, published in European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience, found noticeable impairments in the amygdala. This powerful region helps control fear, anger, and emotional recognition, the foundation for behaving like a socially functioning human being. When it's not working properly, the result isn't just mood swings, it's a total breakdown in how a person reads others and regulates their behavior. That disconnect can show up in chilling ways: Psychopaths often can't display emotions through facial expressions, making them appear cold, detached, or unnervingly shallow. Impulsive behaviors stem from the neurological abnormalities found in the study, which explained why less than one percent of the global population are psychopaths, but 20 percent of people in prison display psychopathic tendencies. According to the research, most people don't commit violent crimes, but 60 percent lie in casual conversation, 40 to 60 percent ignore traffic speed limits, and 10 percent have used illicit drugs. Past studies have even suggested that psychopaths may have a malfunctioning mirror neuron system, the part of the brain that helps us mimic and learn behavior by observing others. In other words, where most people would instinctively learn empathy by watching someone cry or suffer, a psychopath might feel nothing. Experts often avoid using the label outright, fearing the stigma it carries. Instead, psychologists use a detailed diagnostic tool known as the Psychopathy Checklist to assess traits and assign a score. Many diagnosed psychopaths don't end up in prison or treatment. They blend in. They learn how to mimic normal emotions, mask dangerous impulses, and move through society unnoticed. A study published in March found a disturbing sign that individuals may be psychopaths. Scientists have found a link between psychopathy and 'sadism' – deriving pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation on others. Examples of sadism include trolling people online, killing video game characters, killing bugs and even sticking pins on voodoo dolls. So if you engage in these sadistic behaviours – even if it's just making other people feel embarrassed online – you could be a psychopath. The experts, from Maastricht University in the Netherlands, warn that sadism might be more common than previously thought. In disturbing experiments, they found members of the public were more than willing to startle people and inflict harm on bugs. 'Sadistic pleasure, gratuitous enjoyment from inflicting pain on others, has devastating interpersonal and societal consequences,' the experts report. '[Our study] is the first to assess state sadism directed at both humans and animals.'
