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Yahoo
18-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
13 Things People Who Secretly Hate Themselves Always Say
Feeling like you're constantly at odds with yourself is more common than you might think. While everyone has moments of self-doubt, some people internalize these feelings so deeply that it starts to shape how they interact with the world. If you've ever caught yourself saying certain phrases or heard others repeat them, it might be a sign of underlying self-esteem issues. Here are 13 things people who secretly hate themselves often say, and why they matter. 1. "Nothing Ever Goes To Plan For Me." You might hear someone say this almost as a reflex whenever things don't go as planned. On the surface, it seems like a simple dismissal, but for those struggling with self-loathing, it's a way to downplay deeper emotional turmoil. People use it to brush off the need for introspection, convincing themselves and others that their struggles are temporary. It's a common defense mechanism that avoids acknowledging how often they actually feel overwhelmed. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, this kind of dismissal can prevent people from addressing the root causes of their unhappiness, thereby prolonging their suffering. When you say it repeatedly, it becomes a mantra that masks chronic stress or unhappiness. These words can prevent you from seeking the support that you might need. It can also serve as a barrier to open communication with those around you, keeping your struggles hidden. Over time, the habit of brushing things off can make the problems feel insurmountable, even if they're not. You might start to believe that you're not allowed to feel bad, which can deepen feelings of self-hatred. 2. "I'm Fine, Really." This phrase often comes out when you're anything but fine. It's a classic way to deflect attention away from your true feelings and maintain a facade of control. People who dislike themselves tend to worry about burdening others with their problems, so they settle for this phrase as a quick fix. The idea is to avoid vulnerability by pretending everything is under control. While it might feel like a shield, it can actually leave you feeling more isolated in the end. The act of saying "I'm fine" can act as a barrier that prevents genuine connections. It holds you back from opening up about what's genuinely bothering you, which can lead to a buildup of stress and anxiety. The more often you deny how you feel, the more you convince yourself that your emotions aren't valid. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem, making it even harder to reach out for help when you really need it. Recognizing this pattern can be the first step in breaking free from negative self-talk. 3. "I Don't Deserve This." The sentiment behind this phrase is rooted in a belief that you're not worthy of good things happening to you. People who secretly hate themselves often undermine their own successes by attributing them to luck or external factors. Saying "I don't deserve this" is a way to reject positive reinforcement, which only reinforces negative self-beliefs. This habit can prevent you from enjoying accomplishments and feeling proud of yourself. According to psychologist Nathaniel Branden, author of "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," acknowledging one's own success is vital for building healthy self-esteem. When you constantly tell yourself that you don't deserve good things, you start to believe it, and this belief can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It sets the stage for self-sabotage, where you might unconsciously undermine your own efforts to achieve happiness or success. Over time, this mindset narrows your opportunities and experiences, reinforcing the idea that you're unworthy. The cycle becomes difficult to break unless you actively challenge this line of thinking. Learning to accept praise and embrace your achievements can be powerful steps toward improving how you view yourself. 4. "I Knew This Would Happen." This phrase is a testament to the negative anticipation that often accompanies a poor self-image. People who struggle with self-loathing sometimes expect failure or disappointment as a matter of course. Saying "I knew this would happen" serves as a way of confirming their belief that they're somehow defective or not good enough. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that reinforces the idea that good things are out of reach. This kind of thinking can make setbacks seem inevitable, even when they're not. Using this phrase frequently can lead to a defeatist attitude, where you start to expect the worst in every situation. This mindset can prevent you from taking risks or trying new things, as you're convinced they'll end in failure. Over time, this attitude can chip away at your motivation, keeping you stuck in a loop of negative outcomes. It's crucial to challenge this type of thinking by recognizing when and why it occurs. Shifting your perspective to focus on potential positive outcomes can gradually change how you view challenges. 5. "I Can't Do Anything Right." Expressing this thought reflects a deeply ingrained sense of inadequacy. People who harbor self-hatred often magnify their mistakes while dismissing their successes. This mindset can become a lens through which they view all their actions, making it difficult to see any positives. By saying "I can't do anything right," they reinforce a narrative that they're incapable of success, which can hinder personal growth. According to Dr. Martin Seligman, a pioneer in the field of positive psychology, recognizing the power of optimistic thinking can counteract this negative cycle. Repetition of this phrase can undermine your confidence and make you hesitant to pursue new opportunities. It can lead you to avoid situations where you might be judged or evaluated, further isolating you from positive experiences. Holding onto this belief can prevent you from realizing your potential and enjoying life's ups and downs. The more you tell yourself you can't do anything right, the less likely you are to try, trapping you in a cycle of negativity. Focusing on small victories and giving yourself credit where it's due can help break this habit. 6. "I'm Sorry For Everything." This phrase often spills out without thought, especially when you're feeling overly responsible for situations beyond your control. People who struggle with self-esteem issues might find themselves apologizing excessively as a way to preempt criticism or avoid conflict. Saying "I'm sorry" becomes a reflexive habit that can indicate a lack of self-worth. It suggests that you're always at fault, even when you're not, which can erode your confidence over time. Over-apologizing is a way of seeking validation and reassurance, but it can also make you feel even smaller. When you apologize unnecessarily, it diminishes the impact of genuine apologies. It can also lead others to perceive you as lacking confidence, which might affect how they interact with you. This behavior can prevent you from expressing your true feelings or needs, as you become more focused on appeasing others. The cycle of constant apologizing can make you feel like a perpetual burden, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy. Learning to distinguish between situations that genuinely require an apology and those that don't can help build healthier communication habits. 7. "It's No Big Deal." Dismissing your achievements with "it's no big deal" is a common behavior among people who struggle with self-esteem. This phrase is often used to downplay accomplishments, as if they were unimportant or merely accidental. People who dislike themselves find it challenging to internalize their successes, so they minimize them instead. By doing so, they avoid the discomfort of accepting praise and recognition. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology highlighted how self-critical individuals often struggle to accept compliments, viewing them as anomalies rather than a reflection of their true abilities. When you habitually downplay your achievements, it can prevent you from building a positive self-image. It also stops others from acknowledging your strengths, which can limit your opportunities for growth and advancement. Over time, this habit can make you feel invisible or unappreciated, fueling feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing the significance of your accomplishments, no matter how small, is essential for building self-respect. Practicing self-acknowledgment can redefine how you see yourself and your impact on those around you. 8. "I Should Have Known Better." This phrase is often an expression of self-blame when things go wrong. People who say this are usually hard on themselves, convinced that they should have predicted every outcome. "I should have known better" is a way of internalizing failure, even when circumstances were beyond their control. It implies a belief that mistakes are unacceptable and that they should have been avoided. This mindset can prevent you from learning and growing, as you focus more on self-punishment than on progress. The habit of self-blame can lead to a cycle of regret and missed opportunities. It can make you hesitant to take risks or try new things, fearing that any failure will reflect poorly on your judgment. Over time, this attitude can erode your confidence and make you overly cautious. Recognizing that mistakes are a natural part of learning can help shift your mindset toward a more positive outlook. Embracing failures as opportunities for growth can transform how you approach challenges. 9. "Everyone Else Is Better Than Me." Comparing yourself to others is a common pitfall for those who struggle with self-esteem issues. When you say "everyone else is better than me," you reinforce the belief that you're not good enough. This comparison can be damaging, as it focuses on perceived deficiencies rather than acknowledging unique strengths. By constantly measuring yourself against others, you overlook your own achievements and potential. This habit can prevent you from recognizing your worth and celebrating your individuality. The more you compare yourself to others, the more you reinforce feelings of inadequacy. It can lead to a cycle of envy and self-doubt, making it difficult to appreciate what you have to offer. Over time, this mindset can isolate you, as you're less likely to engage with others out of fear of being judged. Recognizing that everyone's journey is different can help break this cycle. Embracing your unique path and focusing on personal growth can lead to a more fulfilling and confident life. 10. "I Can't Believe I Did That." This phrase is often uttered in disbelief, reflecting a sense of shock at having made a mistake. People who struggle with self-hatred tend to magnify their errors, turning minor slip-ups into major catastrophes. "I can't believe I did that" is a way of expressing disappointment in oneself, as if the mistake were entirely avoidable. This mindset can make you hyper-aware of your own actions, leading to increased self-scrutiny. It suggests that you're holding yourself to impossibly high standards, which can be detrimental to your well-being. When you constantly critique yourself for making mistakes, it can hinder your ability to move forward. It can lead to a cycle of self-criticism that makes it difficult to take risks or pursue new opportunities. Over time, this attitude can undermine your confidence, making you more hesitant to trust your own judgment. Learning to view mistakes as part of the learning process can be transformative. Embracing imperfection can help you build resilience and foster a more compassionate relationship with yourself. 11. "I'll Never Be Good Enough." This is a powerful phrase that reflects a deeply ingrained sense of inadequacy. People who secretly hate themselves often internalize this belief, allowing it to shape their self-image. "I'm not good enough" becomes a default mode of thinking, affecting how they approach challenges and relationships. This mindset can prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities, as you're convinced you'll fail. It can also keep you from forming meaningful connections, as you fear that others will see your perceived flaws. Repetition of this belief can limit your potential, making you hesitant to step out of your comfort zone. It can lead to a cycle of negative thinking that reinforces feelings of worthlessness. Over time, this mindset can erode your self-esteem, making it difficult to recognize your own value. Challenging this belief by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments is essential for breaking the cycle. Practicing self-compassion and embracing your unique abilities can help redefine your self-perception. 12. "I'll Never Be Able To Do That." This phrase reflects a sense of hopelessness and defeat before even trying. People who struggle with self-esteem issues often convince themselves that certain goals are unattainable. "I'll never be able to do that" is a way of preemptively avoiding failure by not attempting something at all. This mindset can prevent you from pursuing your dreams and exploring new possibilities. It reinforces the belief that you're incapable, which can be a significant barrier to personal growth. When you consistently tell yourself that you can't achieve something, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This attitude can limit your experiences and keep you from realizing your full potential. Over time, it can lead to a narrowed perspective, where you only focus on what you can't do rather than what you can. Challenging this belief by setting small, achievable goals can help build confidence. Celebrating each step forward can foster a more positive outlook and encourage you to pursue bigger challenges. 13. "Nobody Cares Anyway." This phrase often comes from a place of deep loneliness and disconnection. People who harbor self-hatred may convince themselves that they're invisible or unimportant to others. "Nobody cares anyway" becomes a way of rationalizing their feelings of isolation. This mindset can prevent you from reaching out for support or forming meaningful relationships. It suggests that you're not worthy of attention or care, which can perpetuate feelings of inadequacy. Believing that nobody cares can lead to increased isolation and withdrawal from social interactions. It can make it difficult to seek help or open up about your feelings, as you're convinced it won't make a difference. Over time, this attitude can reinforce a cycle of loneliness and self-doubt. Recognizing that you're worthy of love and support is crucial for breaking this cycle. Building connections and reaching out to others can help challenge this belief and foster a sense of belonging. Solve the daily Crossword


Daily Mail
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Rylan Clark reveals he felt like a 'failure' following the breakdown of his marriage as he reflects on split with ex-husband Dan Neal
has reflected on the emotional turmoil he faced following his split from former husband Dan Neal. The TV presenter, 36, split with Dan in 2021 after six years of marriage when Rylan admitted he cheated on him. Now, four years on, he has spoken candidly about the devastating period that followed. Speaking on the latest episode of his podcast How to Be... with Strictly's Tasha Ghouri, Rylan admitted he 'felt like a failure' when his relationship came to an end. He said: 'When I went through my divorce, I had a full-on breakdown because it wasn't just us. 'It felt like it wasn't just us, even though it was just me and my ex. I felt that everyone's going to think this of me.' He admitted: 'Everyone's going to think, 'Oh look, his life isn't perfect. Oh look, he's failed like that.' I just felt like a failure.' While reflecting on the painful breakup, he acknowledged that parting ways was ultimately the 'right thing to happen.' It comes after Rylan opened up further about his relationship with Dan on his podcast with guest Stephen Fry. He said: 'We got married in 2015. That same year, yeah. So it would have been my 10 year anniversary this year.' Stephen then asked if Rylan felt any kind of responsibility to represent gay marriage, as one of the few LGBTQ+ celebrities. He asked: 'But did you feel also that - when it broke up and you were divorced – did you feel that there was in some sense you were letting down the idea of gay marriage, because we have a duty to show that our marriages are as robust and strong as any heterosexual?' Rylan said: 'There was part of me that just felt like a complete and utter failure. I felt like I'd failed personally, but I felt like I'd found publicly on behalf of - the gays! You know, I'm not, I'm not 'head gay', it's not that.' Stephen reassured: 'No, you're not, exactly. You're not a poster child for gayness.' Rylan continued: 'But you do feel like, yeah I'm going to get married, I want to get married, I can get married. 'But when it doesn't work out you don't want people to go, 'you see that's why they f****** shouldn't get married'.' Stephen was quick to insist: 'You can get married again if you want…', causing Rylan to hint at his divorce struggles as he quipped: 'Yeah with a prenup this time, I'm not going through that again.' Rylan previously revealed his own infidelity during his marriage with Dan caused the downfall of their relationship. After he revealed that he had been unfaithful, Dan eventually ended the relationship after the heart-wrenching confession. Following the heartbreak and the deterioration of his marriage, Rylan had suicidal thoughts and his weight dropped to just nine stone. He opened up about these challenging times in his second autobiography, TEN: The Decade That Changed My Future. In the book, he penned a candid reflection and said: 'I got in a relationship quite young and just went with it. Now I know I'm my own person. I'm not going to settle for something that's not right. In a way it's been a bit of a gift.' 'I'm happy to have sex with someone and that's that, that's not a problem. But do I want more? Of course I want more. Am I going to enjoy myself on the way? Abso-f***ing-lutely.'
Yahoo
21-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
What Happened on Y&R Today? Mariah's Shocking Decision to Leave Tessa
Secrets and heartbreak fill The Young and the Restless episode for Wednesday, June 18. Mariah makes a heartbreaking decision, Chelsea accuses Adam of betrayal, and Tessa finds herself in emotional turmoil. Mariah (Camryn Grimes) faced a difficult moment on the Crimson Lights patio when she had a tearful conversation with Tessa (Cait Fairbanks). Struggling with her emotions and memories of her past mistakes, Mariah finally made the painful decision to separate from her wife. Mariah explained to Tessa that despite their love, it wasn't enough to fix the damage she had caused. The weight of her guilt led Mariah to insist that they take some time apart. Tessa, heartbroken and confused, tried to understand but refused to let her go. She promised that no matter what happened, she would stand by her side. However, Mariah insisted that she couldn't move forward and needed space to figure things out on her own. Tessa, unable to understand fully, tearfully accepted, leaving Mariah to walk away. WATCH THIS: Did you know Soap Hub has a podcast?! Check it out here Meanwhile, Danny (Michael Damian) and his son, Daniel (Michael Graziadei), had a heart-to-heart at Society. As they reminisced about Daniel's recovery and his musical therapy, Danny offered some fatherly advice. Daniel, still haunted by his past and missing his late wife Heather (Vail Bloom), opened up about how playing guitar was helping him process his emotions. Though he tried to focus on moving forward, there was still a part of him that felt empty without Heather by his side. Danny reassured him that he was doing well and was proud of his progress. He told Daniel that it was okay to move on from the past. As they joked and bonded, Daniel admitted he appreciated the support, but it was clear that the emptiness he felt was still a heavy burden. However, the conversation took a more serious turn when Danny asked Daniel how he would feel if he proposed to Christine (Lauralee Bell). Daniel didn't have any objections to that possibility. In Adam's (Mark Grossman) office, Chelsea (Melissa Claire Egan) confronted him. She accused him of breaking his promise not to work on the smear campaign against Billy (Jason Thompson). Chelsea believed he had betrayed her, especially after they had promised to put their relationship above all else. Adam tried to explain that he hadn't published any negative stories about Billy and had just been spending time with their son, Connor (Judah Mackey), playing a zombie game. Chelsea calmed down but admitted that her fear stemmed from not being able to trust her judgment, especially when it came to Adam. She had always held back a part of herself, but now, she was all in with him. Adam reassured her that he would never break her heart and promised he was growing and learning. They shared a heartfelt moment of reconciliation, acknowledging the weight of Victor's (Eric Braeden) influence. Adam and Cheslea decided they would face everything together.


Daily Mail
13-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
I was devastated to discover I wasn't on a secret WhatsApp group. Here's the controversial method I used to work out who my REAL friends are: FLORA GILL
If you're Lily Allen 's friend and haven't heard from her in a while, you may be wondering where you rank on the pop star's list of friends. This isn't a theoretical ranking; it turns out the singer has a list of friends 'in order of how much I like them', so her assistant can use the data to appropriately organise catch-ups. God forbid she organise a one-to-one with a 12th-place mate. Ranking your friends may sound cut-throat, but the truth is it's something we're all encouraged to do from that first moment your primary school teacher calls out 'Everyone get into pairs!' and true allegiances are revealed. There was always that devastating moment when a tripod friendship was forced to fracture and someone found out they were the spare part. Girls in particular are repeatedly told we need a 'best friend'. But not everyone can be your best friend, so the potential for emotional turmoil and toxicity is high. As a child, I was given one of those ubiquitous best friend necklaces by my parents for Christmas. The idea was that I would wear one half and give the other to my best friend. The only issue was that I didn't have a best friend. So I wore the half-heart necklace that read 'BE FRI' and hid the other in a drawer, telling everyone at school they just didn't know my secret bestie who lived in another country, proudly sporting her 'ST END' necklace. I looked at the other girls in my class wearing their matching jewellery and felt jealous, sad and lonely. Why was I not good enough to be anyone's number one? Yet one of the most scarring friendship rites of passage for my generation came in the brutal form of the MySpace 'Top 8'. For anyone lucky enough to have missed this horror show, MySpace is the social media website that predated Facebook. As well as collecting online 'friends', you had to publicly rank your top eight friends on your profile. Who you picked was a diplomatic minefield capable of shattering friendships – and fragile teen hearts – as your social standing was brought into harsh focus. Nothing was more humiliating than putting someone into your top friends, only to realise they hadn't reciprocated. A reshuffle – something that happened constantly as fickle teen friendships shifted from day to day – would often involve a sudden phone call from a friend incredulous at having been usurped from their spot, followed by a negotiation for their reinstatement. We'd like to pretend that such behaviour stops when we leave school, but we all know that's not the case. If anything, friendship slights hurt more in adulthood when 'groups' become weaker without the glue of everyday classes, and making new connections becomes harder. Now, there's the secret side chats of WhatsApp groups (I once found out some friends of mine had one I was excluded from and made them immediately delete it). Or discovering someone has a 'close friend' list on their Instagram stories . . . and you're not in it. Nothing makes the ranking of your 'best friends' clearer than a wedding. The process of deciding who gets to be among your bridesmaids or groomsmen is the adult equivalent of MySpace Top 8. Many a friendship has ended over who was, or wasn't, granted this honour. I've been to a wedding where there were 15 bridesmaids in matching outfits so that the bride wasn't forced to choose between her friends. At my own wedding last summer I just had a maid of honour (I did eventually find a best friend) but forwent bridesmaids to avoid any drama. But, most of the time, we rank our friends in secret. Which is how, like Lily Allen, a few years ago I came to compile a spreadsheet where I scored my own friends. I too found it quite helpful to ensure I met up with the friends I valued most, and realised who I'd grown distant from. Points were awarded for their level of fun and uniqueness but docked for consistently turning up late or not reciprocating invitations. But the thing about friendships is they're constantly in flux – and the friendships that last the longest aren't necessarily the ones you'll need in a given moment. On that original list I had a brutal one point deduction for new parents, as our priorities weren't aligned. But now, as a new mother myself, if I were to resurrect my spreadsheet a fellow new parent would earn an extra point - I need people who won't be bored to death by conversation of wake windows and weaning techniques. So while I applaud Lily's list, I just hope she realises it needs to be constantly reshuffled. Maybe MySpace, emotionally fraught as it was, was on to something after all.


BBC News
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
Straw Tyler Perry movie wey dey draw emotions from Nigerians
Straw, one new psychological crime thriller movie wey ogbonge American filmmaker Tyler Perry just release on Netflix currently dey totori feem lovers all ova di world. Di feem wey dey rank number one on Netflix globally na movie wey get plenty emotional turmoil and e full of suspense. Di Netflix thriller, wey dem release on 6 June, star Taraji P. Henson as Janiyah Wiltkinson, one single mother wey dey struggle to provide for her sick daughter, Aria (Gabby Jackson). As di movie hit number one for di world on Netflix, Madam Henson for one post on Instagram tok say, "Dis one take me on a journey—deep, raw, real—and I dey so grateful say e dey land wit you, di way e land wit me." "To everibody wey cry, reflect, and feel sometin… I see you. I feel you. Dat na why we do dis," Henson add. Many pipo hail and relate to di feem as e capture di struggles of ordinary pipo we trap for these kind of situations. Wetin Straw dey all about? Di official synopsis for Straw show how one single mother world turn upside down one day, as her day bin go from bad to worse to catastrophic as she struggle to care for her sick daughter. As di situation push am to di edge by di world wey no care about her existence, she dey forced to confront impossible choices for inside society wey no guarantee safety net. As her day bin go out of control, na so she no fit do wetin dey right, wetin dey legal, and wetin even dey real. Di tori wey start from woman wey dey try to hold evritin togeda quickly take unexpected turns and leave pipo wey dey watch to kwesion evritin. Oga Perry tear di tori down to raw moments of desperation, e explore wetin fit happun wen dem push pesin beyond dia limits. Why Janaiyah hold bank hostage? Wetin be di real tori behind her daughter? And wetin e mean wen pesin finally reach dia last straw. Straw, na very heart-breaking, emotional story wey reveal di harsh reality of di world. As e dey tok to Entertainment Weekly, di Oscar nominee say wetin draw her to di tori na how Straw highlight "how easy e dey for pipo wey dey for vulnerable position to dey disregarded or disenfranchised by di system wey suppose protect dem." Straw focus on di financial struggles of single mother Janiyah, wey come across multiple setbacks throughout her day. Di movie also feature two strong women Nicole (Sherri Shepherd) di bank manager and Detective Raymond (Teyana Taylor), wey show di lead character real support for di first time. Dem listen to her struggles and try to de-escalate di situation. Di feem also get one shocking twist for di end, as e dey normal wit Tyler Perry feems, wey go leave fans wit plenty confusions and questions. Casts of Straw Oga Perry feature plenty ogbonge actors for dis movie and dem deliver dia role well. Part of dem na three women wey carry di movie, give di feem life and essence. Taraji P Henson as Janiyah Janiyah Wilkinson na di lead cast member of di movie. She be di helpless mother wey struggle to take care of her sick daughter, Aria. To provide for her basic needs, Janiyah bin work for one grocery store under one unsympathetic boss wey no dey miss opportunity to ridicule her. One day, wen authorities take her daughter, she make one decision wey make her life even more difficult. Taraji P. Henson play di role of Janiyah Witkinson for Straw. She be famous American actress and she don feature for ogbonge movie like Hustle & Flow, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Karate Kid, and Streetwise, among odas. She also don win plenty awards. Sherri Shepherd as Nicole Afta dem fire her from work, Janiyah bin try to cash her cheque for bank, but di cashier tell her say she must provide official ID and she no get. As she no get oda option, Janiyah take out gun to threaten di cashier. Nicole, na di bank manager, wey call di police and alert dem say Janiyah get gun and she carry bomb, she later become support system to Janiyah. Afta Janiyah allow all di hostages to leave di bank, Nicole bin stay back to ensure say she safely surrender herself to di police. Sherri Shepherd na award-winning actress wey don feature for many movies like 30 Rock, The Sex Life of College Girls, and more. Teyana Taylor as Detective Kay Raymond Det. Key Raymond na one former negotiator for di army. She bin work as a detective for di main storyline. Even though she hear say Janiyah allegedly rob bank, Raymond still dey sympathetic towards her and also punish di officer threaten Janiyah earlier. Kay Raymond play incredible role for di feem, and her acting dey highly impactful Teyana Taylor na multitalented public figure. She be actor, dancer, singer, and music video editor wey don show for plenty music videos.