Latest news with #exclusion
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Mom Says Daughter Was Uninvited to Classmate's Party — Wonders If She Should Throw Bigger Party and Exclude Other Kid
The woman — who shared her story on a community forum — said she doesn't want her daughter to feel "excluded" — but also doesn't want her to be the "mean girl A woman wants to host a party for her daughter — and not invite a 'mean' classmate who recently excluded her — but, she's unsure if it's the right call. The woman detailed her story in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, explaining that her 10-year-old daughter was recently invited — and then uninvited — to a classmate's end-of-the-year party. The original poster (OP) said her daughter was uninvited because the girl throwing the party found out that the boy she likes has a crush on the OP's daughter. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! '[My daughter] doesn't even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god), but the girl doesn't want [her] at her party because he will be there. [My daughter] has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school,' the woman said. The OP discussed the issue with the other girl's mother, but was merely told, ' 'You know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.' ' The woman said she is now considering throwing her own, bigger party for her daughter's class and inviting everyone but the girl who had excluded her daughter. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'I don't want [my daughter] to be upset and excluded, but I don't know if I can let her be the mean girl, excluding someone else and making them upset,' the OP said in a follow-up comment. The majority of the woman's fellow community members said they thought that she should throw the party — and that it might even serve as a learning moment for the other family. 'Do it. You're teaching the girl and her mother a valuable lesson here — that its not nice to be mean. Her mother obviously isnt teaching her,' one person said. '[Throw a] bigger, better party for sure,' said someone else. 'I'd go full-on petty with this one, and if the mother complains, [say], 'Well, you know what girls are like with parties nowadays.' However, a few other Mumsnet users advised against it. 'Don't. Go high, not low," one person said. "A 10-year-old, we can forgive [...]. However, she's sadly got a weak, ridiculous parent. Go ahead and throw your daughter a party," someone else said before adding that they would invite the other child in order "to show the [other] mother how to behave properly.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Is Confused Why She Wasn't Invited to Her Sister's 50th Birthday Party — but Her Parents and Other Siblings Were
"This came as a complete surprise," the woman said of not being invited to the family gathering A woman is feeling left out after she wasn't included in celebrations to mark her sister's milestone 50th birthday. In a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the woman wrote that her sibling "had a birthday meal out with her friends, my siblings and our parents," but she wasn't looped in on the plans. "This came as a complete surprise," the woman said in her post, adding, "No one mentioned it to me at all." Now, the woman said she is looking for "advice about what I do next," because she feels her family's actions were deliberate. "The photos aren't attempting to hide the meal out. Of course I would see them," she wrote. The woman added that she plans to see her mother soon, and she is currently wondering: "Do I say something? What do I say to my siblings in our [group chat]? Anything? Nothing?" Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. In the comments section of the post, other Mumsnet users sided with the upset woman, writing that they understood her hurt. "This is a horrible way to have treated you," wrote one commenter, as another said, "That is so sneaky and hurtful of them to do this." The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! Others, meanwhile, told the woman that they think she should cancel her plans with her mother for the time being, in order to figure out why she was excluded from the family gathering. "I would [cancel] seeing her Monday and [tell] her that you'll be processing being excluded by all of them for a bit," was a suggestion from one user. "I would cancel the meeting with your mother and not bother with any of them for the time being. They are all to blame. It's nasty," another said. Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
Fox News
5 days ago
- Fox News
Family vacation drama erupts over grandmother's request for dinner with her grown kids only
A mother's request to exclude her grandchildren and her children's spouses from a family dinner on an upcoming vacation — which she said she's planning and paying for — has sparked a heated debate. Her daughter, 40, took to Reddit for advice about the dilemma, saying she feels bad about potentially leaving her husband, their two kids and the rest of the family behind for dinner at a restaurant where she, her mom and her siblings went to on vacations when they were young. "Never thought I'd find myself here, but honestly feeling like the a--hole either way I play this and could use a hand," the woman wrote on Reddit recently. "It's not a fancy restaurant, but she isn't confident the kids can behave up to her standards … I am not either," the woman continued. She said her husband of 20 years was "noticeably let down" by the idea and that there's a "whole history" of her mom not accepting her and her siblings' spouses. The situation is especially painful for her husband, who lost both his parents as a teenager, according to the post. "I feel like I should just go and enjoy it, but now I'm thinking of 20 years of him being excluded and feeling sad and disloyal," the woman wrote. Reddit users flooded the comments section with thoughts on the writer's predicament. "YTA for allowing your mom to treat your husband as [an] other for decades, especially when he has lost both of his parents," one Reddit user said — using the acronym for "you're the a--hole." "If it was a one-time thing, I'd say it's fine," another person said. "But since you say your mother excluded him (and your siblings' partners) repeatedly, I think YTA … You should be on his team." Randi Crawford, a life coach from San Diego, agreed with the team mentality. "You do have to respect it." "Excluding spouses on a group trip is tone-deaf, and it puts everyone in an awkward position," Crawford told Fox News Digital. "This isn't about one dinner. It's about recognizing that your children are no longer solo acts. They come as a team." "You don't have to love it, but you do have to respect it," she added. Many people urged the woman to stand up to her mom. "First off, apologize to your husband for allowing this [BS] to go on for over two decades," one social media user wrote. "After that, put your foot down and tell your mother that things are going to change." Others, however, didn't think the request was such a big deal. Even the original poster said in the comments section that she wished there could be an "uncomplicated 'sibs only' dinner." "[Not the a--hole] if you go without him and enjoy one child-free meal with your sibs and mom," one person agreed. "Give her this one evening," another Redditor suggested. The person suggested the couples visit the same restaurant another night and leave the kids with their grandma. Others said she owed her mom for footing the bill for the trip. "You're taking this woman's [money] in the form of a vacation, so if she wants one dinner with her kids, then why not?" another person said. Melanie Williams, a psychotherapist in Baltimore, said financial control is an "unfortunate dynamic" that can occur in families. "If finances are a factor, I hope the writer and her siblings work with their spouses to find a plan that lessens their financial support on their mother," Williams told Fox News Digital. "I can only imagine the number of other issues that exist because of this dynamic." She added that the mother is trying to "relive a fantasy" of her kids still being young. "The writer and her siblings would do well to speak up, set better boundaries and apologize to their spouses," Williams said. Fox News Digital reached out to the original poster for comment.
Yahoo
19-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Parents Follow 1 Naming Rule with All Their Kids, but Then Make Major Switch Up with Youngest Son
A teen shares how his family's longtime nickname makes him feel invisible, especially when they proudly exclude him from photos and family postsNEED TO KNOW A teen says being the only sibling without a 'Jo' name makes him feel excluded from his family's nickname, 'The Jo's' He says his parents and siblings proudly use the nickname even though his name differs from the rest When he expressed his hurt, his family dismissed him as 'oversensitive' and accused him of throwing a 'pity party'A teen feels unsupported by his parents after expressing disappointment over his name, which varies from the rest of his family. In a post on Reddit, the 16-year-old explains that his parents both have names beginning with "Jo," and they passed that tradition on to all of his older siblings, such as 'Josephine, Joseph, Josalyn, etc." However, the poster, who has an eight-plus-year age gap with his siblings, "was given a C name." "So I'm the only person who doesn't have Jo in my name," he explains. "While in some ways it's less confusing, it hurts because my family often get called The Jo's as a nickname and sign cards from everyone like that, it excludes me. They never use the Doe Family. It's always The Jo's." 'More often than not people either forget I'm a member of the family or act weird when my name is so different,' he adds. He notes that he doesn't have a close relationship with his family, which makes the exclusion sting even more. His parents, he says, frequently boast about the family having correlated names, even though it isn't true. 'My parents even talk about how important it was for them to keep it going,' he writes, frustrated that they left him out of that narrative. When he asked about how they chose his name, the answer wasn't comforting. 'They said it was just one they heard and decided to use and there was no reason for it,' he shares. 'They didn't even give it any real thought.' On a recent family vacation with his older siblings and their in-laws, things escalated. Social media posts from the trip were filled with captions about vacationing with 'The Jo's.' 'I was actually left out of lots of photos where that was focused on," he writes. Some of the in-laws' relatives even assumed he wasn't really part of the family. 'Some of the kids in their ILs families thought I was a cousin or a foster kid or something,' he reveals. The experience left him withdrawing from the trip entirely. 'When we got home my parents didn't notice,' he shares. They continued to post photos from the vacation that didn't include him, of course, captioned with the family nickname. Later, when his parents asked him for more photos to add to their collection, he decided to speak up. 'They said they wanted to keep them all in the Jo albums,' he explains. Seeing an opportunity, he told them how the family nickname makes him feel. However, the conversation didn't go as he hoped. 'My parents got annoyed at me,' he writes. 'They told me to quit being dramatic and I'm family so what the hell does it matter.' They dismissed his feelings, saying he was 'oversensitive." 'They wouldn't apologize for not pandering to my emotions,' he says, noting that his parents then complained to his siblings, who also sided against him. 'They were all like way to throw a pity party or make it about yourself," he shares. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Despite his family's feelings, users in the comments were quick to support him. 'At first I thought this was going to be a NAH because it's not the end of the world that your parents named you something off theme," one person wrote. "Referring to the family as 'The Jo's' should have stopped the day you were born and actively posting family photos without you in them is beyond rude!' The teen agreed, noting that the name itself isn't the real issue. 'The name thing alone would definitely be a really small thing if it wasn't for the nickname always being used and the way they talk,' he replied. 'It's like they acknowledge I'm not really a part of the family.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
The Independent
17-07-2025
- General
- The Independent
My friends don't make any effort with me now they have kids
I've come to the realisation that I value my friends more than they value me. It struck me when they started getting married. People I consider to be so close they are practically family not only chose others to be their bridesmaids – but one didn't even invite me to her wedding. She said it was just family at the ceremony and that it was really intimate, but I later found out there were other friends in attendance, and it was a bigger affair than she first led me to believe. To me, it's nothing to do with wearing a nice dress or even what it outwardly says to other people about our relationships – it's the really weighty and terrifying idea that I don't matter to them. At all. I already feel isolated because I am the last remaining single one and don't have kids. Our conversations have changed, I mould around their plans and responsibilities – and I am the glue, constantly bringing everyone together, desperately trying to cling onto the threads of our group. If I don't make the effort, nobody will. And yet, these very concrete decisions to exclude me (and to constantly talk about their children when we do get together, without even asking how I am) make me feel like my loyalty and kindness are taken for granted. I always try to be the friend I want to have myself – but should I just throw in the towel and give less? It seems to work for everyone else… Never the Bride – or the Bridesmaid Dear Never the Bride, I feel for you. I've often noticed that in friendship groups – particularly long-standing ones which span many years, even decades – the roles we 'fit' into early on tend to last. There's not much movement within established social groupings, even when the people within them do change. And it can sometimes feel like a burden. If you're the one who's always geeing everybody up: suggesting dates to meet, booking restaurants or starting one of those dreaded 'polls' on WhatsApp where you're fighting against everybody's diaries, simply to get a date in, some six months in the future – only to witness one friend flake, another transparently decide she got a better offer and someone else realise they've accidentally double-booked – then it can be tempting to give up trying to get everyone together to begin with. You're doing all the hard work, why aren't they? And why can't someone else take over the unpaid job of 'social organiser', for a change? The problem with this logic is that, while it's entirely right and justified for you to feel aggrieved, the most obvious reaction – to just stop making any effort, hoping your friends will notice or get the memo and then do the hard work of self-reflection to realise they've been taking advantage of your energy and social battery all this time – isn't likely to work, I'm afraid. I've seen it, time and time again... when we get fed up of putting ourselves out there and suddenly stop, without warning, the most likely outcome is that our friends will feel affronted because they haven't heard from you. Or (ironically), they'll wonder why you aren't making any effort anymore. I know. It's unfair. But it's usually what happens. Unless – and this takes bravery – you do something we don't often do, for fear of sparking conflict: tell them how you are feeling. I think this would be particularly pertinent to you when talking about how hurt you were not to be invited to your friend's wedding. That's such an obvious hurt that I have to admit I'm shocked your friend wasn't brave enough to raise it with you herself. But, crucially, you're going to need to go in soft. Using 'you did this' accusatory statements always backfire – no matter how justified. It puts the person you're dealing with on the defensive; they'll want to attack back. I would always suggest using 'I feel' statements – and centring the impact on you (because nobody can argue with how you feel!) 'I felt really hurt when I realised you hadn't invited me to your wedding, but other friends were there,' would be a totally reasonable thing to present her with. Resist the temptation to expand – I'd want to place the information about your feelings in front of her and see how she handled it. The constant mentioning (and prioritising) of people's kids is slightly trickier to handle, as I know (and I know you know) that your friends are always going to put their children first. But it shouldn't mean they can't set aside one evening, child-free, every couple of months. And it definitely shouldn't mean that when they're not with their kid, that's all they talk about – at the expense of finding out how you are. Again, I would try to frame it positively and from a place of introspection, as that's likely to get the most sympathetic result. If you're happy to show some vulnerability, you could say something like: ' I love hearing about your kids, but it can feel a bit overwhelming when we're together, because I feel I don't have anything to say. Can we try talking about us all as adults for the evening?' Good luck. I hope it works – though I'm also reminded that some friends only 'fit' into certain seasons of your life. It may be that, sadly, you've outgrown each other. If you have, that's not necessarily a terrible thing; it just means that it's time to let go of some of your old bonds and focus on making new ones – with people who are more similar to you. I wrote about some tips for that here.
