Latest news with #familyconflict
Independent Singapore
3 hours ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
‘My mum dumps our pets when she's bored with them' — Daughter says she's accused of being unfilial for refusing to let her mum move in with her and her cats
SINGAPORE: When a woman says her cats are like her children, it's usually metaphorical. But for one Singaporean woman, it's a literal deal-breaker — even if it means being branded as an unfilial child by her own mother. 'My mum is one of those older generation who treat pets like toys,' the daughter wrote. 'They can be discarded anytime once she gets bored with them.' The confession, first sent to SGWhispers and later posted to Facebook, sparked waves of empathy, applause, and a few raised eyebrows — not because the woman doesn't love her mother, but because she loves her cats even more. 'My cats are my children…' She recounted a childhood peppered with animals. 'When my siblings and I were young, we had several pets,' she said. 'But they were eventually given away after a short period — either because the novelty wore off or one of us got injured due to a lack of proper knowledge on how to play with animals.' Now grown up and child-free by choice, the woman proudly shares her home with several feline companions she calls her 'children.' But her lifestyle choices continue to clash with her mother's expectations. 'My mum keeps pestering me to have human kids instead,' the daughter expressed her frustration. Mum says pets are a waste of money… Her mother, now living alone, has dropped hints that she'd like to move in with her daughter eventually. But the daughter isn't exactly rolling out the red carpet — especially not one with paw prints on it. The reason is that her mum still thinks pets are a waste of money and has even suggested that the daughter give the cats away. During a house renovation, the daughter had to also pay to board her cats somewhere else because she didn't trust her mother to care for them, and with good reason. 'She (my mum) joked that she would 'accidentally' leave the door open and let the cats run away,' the daughter wrote. 'I believe she'll do something to my cats — pretend to forget to close the gate or cause harm by 'accident'.' 'Mum calls me a disappointment and an unfilial child, but all I want is to protect my cats…' Despite her mum never officially asking to move in, the daughter says she's made up her mind: 'I am extremely unwilling and hesitant to have her move in.' And here's the kicker: because of this decision, her mother has labelled her a 'disappointment' and accused her of being unfilial — that classic dagger of Asian guilt trip many Singaporeans know all too well. But as the daughter sees it, she's not being unfilial — she's being protective. 'My cats' freedom is non-negotiable…' To make matters more complicated, her siblings aren't viable options either. Some have bad blood with their mum. Others have kids and no extra space. That leaves her — the cat-loving, boundary-setting daughter — as the only potential lifeline. 'They (the cats) are used to having the freedom to roam the entire house. I don't wish to cage them up just to accommodate someone who doesn't respect them,' she exclaimed. Her cats' freedom is non-negotiable. And if choosing them means she gets called unfilial, so be it. 'Your house, your rules…' In the comments section, sympathy poured in for the woman and her cats. 'Your house, your rules,' one person wrote. 'She has the option of a nursing home. Your cats depend on you.' Another was more poetic: 'It's easy to invite a deity, but difficult to send one away. Don't let a passive-aggressive housemate become a full-blown domestic deity.' There were even Chinese proverbs thrown into the mix: 'A mountain cannot have two tigers. Don't let the second tiger in.' But the main consensus is that boundaries matter. Even when it's your mum. One follower of the FB page summed it up bluntly: 'Do not let your mother move in, or your cats will be at risk.' Others offered practical solutions: hire a helper, house her nearby, visit often — just don't live together under one roof. Especially not with 'accidental' open doors looming in the future. 'To your cats, you're their whole world…' This saga isn't just about cats versus mums. It's about autonomy, trauma, boundaries, and the price of being labelled unfilial when you're simply protecting your peace — and your pets. As one commenter pointed out: 'If someone doesn't respect your boundary, you do not need to let them in — even if it's your parents.' Or, as another said with a fur-midable mic drop: 'To your cats, you're their whole world. Don't give up their world for someone who sees them as disposable.' The daughter, meanwhile, has made her choice clear — and it meows loudly: ' I am definitely not willing to give my cats away just so my mum can move in with me. ' In other news, while one woman was defending her cats from her mum here, another Singaporean woman was busy manifesting her purrr-fect man, with a wish list that reads like a Build-A-Bae order form. Her ideal hubby had to be 'not too tall,' have 'some facial hair,' 'never shave his legs' (because that's 'oddly manly'), and be 'fiercely loyal, funny, kind, honest, and quick to respond at first call.' Also: 'He must be cute.' Facebook commenters weren't about to let that one slide. One even snarked, 'SPCA has 🐕 available for adoption. Pay them a visit.' You can read the full story over here: SG woman who describes her ideal hubby as having 'facial hair, fiercely loyal, responsive at first call, and cute' gets advice to 'visit SPCA as they have one available'
Forbes
9 hours ago
- General
- Forbes
Estranged From Your Aging Parent? What Happens When They Need Help?
It's common knowledge that some adult children are in long standing conflict with a difficult aging parent. Years can go by. Estrangement is the result. There is no communication at all. Then, as the parent ages, it comes to the attention of the adult child that the parent is in failing health, or has dementia, or is otherwise very vulnerable. The matter can be extreme: would the adult child allow the elder to become homeless? If they elder can't care for himself or herself, would the adult child ignore this reality? Different Opinions For some adult children we see for advice at there is so much anger over past mistreatment or abuse by the parent, the adult child does not feel any obligation to help. They are okay with allowing the parent to become a 'ward' of their state and wash their hands of taking any responsibility. For others, guilt is stronger than anger and they do step in. What we observe is that most are willing to forgive or overlook the past and do what they see as the right thing: they take on the task of trying to keep their difficult aging parent safe. A Real Life Example Only daughter (OD) of her aging. mother (AM) leaarned from her mother's neighbor that AM might be in trouble. The neighbor saw AM go out to the porch every evening, talking to herself and acting 'wacky' as the neighbor put it. But she knew that AM was alone. She did not see her for several days. She had OD's contact information, given to her years before when AM was, well, not so wacky. She called OD, who lived in a neighboring state and told her that she was concerned about AM, as she had not seen her for days and when she had gone next door and knocked, there was no answer. AM had not answered her phone either. Did OD want to come and find out what was happening?Decision Time OD truly disliked her mother. AM's apparent mental illness was not a new thing in OD's life. OD described that her mother had abused and neglected her throughout her growing up and she wanted nothing to do with her. But she recognized that AM probably had no one to look in on her. AM's brother was supposed to see to her well being. OD called her uncle, from whom she was also estranged. He was traveling and told OD not to worry about AM, she was fine. Maybe she had taken a trip out of town. From what OD knew of her mother, that was impossible. It looked like an excuse by AM's brother to be irresponsible. Disgusted and feeling pangs of guilt, OD, decided to drive to AM's house to see what was going on. Finding Out The Worst When OD arrived at her mother's home, she found the door locked and no one answered the phone. She decided to ask the local police to do a welfare check, meaning that they had permission to enter the home to determine the status of an elder who would not be reached otherwise. The police arrived and broke the lock on the front door, entered the house and called out AM's name. There was no response. They saw that the back bedroom door was closed. It was also locked. They broke open that lock also. The sight of AM was shocking. She was not dressed, and was lying in filth. She was severely emaciated, as if she had not eaten in some time. They called an ambulance and she was rushed to the hospital. Her condition was such that her survival was unlikely. The Aftermath OD had a swirling mix of emotions in dealing with what had happened. A dark part of her thought: 'After all she did to me, this serves her right!' A different part of her thought she should have forgiven her mother sooner, demanded that her uncle keep her informed and that she should have at least kept track of her mother's basic safety. That triggered guilt that she had let her own emotions keep her from doing things differently. In the end, at least her mother did have someone to speak for her during her hospitalization and final days. If You Had Childhood Abuse Or Neglect From A Parent, What Would You Do When Their Health Failed? No one who has suffered through bad parenting comes to a decision easily if the abusive aging parent is in failing health. If one pays no attention at all, regardless of the age or condition of the parent, that elder could come to a dreadful end, as AM did. On the other hand, we have seen and advised adult children who decided to give up being angry at their elder and step in to help when the aging parent was in danger. It is a very personal decision. Mental illness in a parent, such as AM had, is all too common. It deeply affects their children and those relationships for life. No one can decide for anyone else whether to take on the burden of getting involved with an elder you seriously dislike or even hate. The Takeaways In our work, offering advice and strategy to families of elders, we have seen this situation go both ways. No help, or offering and providing help are the choices. Our observation is that even when estranged for many years, the adult child who chooses to step in and assist in some way never regrets doing so. If you have an aging parent now, whom you seriously dislike, there are a few basics you can choose to use or not. 1. Get and maintain the aging parent's contact information. 2. Learn whether they have appointed anyone on their legal documents to manage finances and health care decisions in the event of loss of independence in those areas. 3. If no one is appointed, or no one competent is doing the job, consider the possible option of guardianship (called conservatorship in CA). Even if this option is unappealing to you, counties do provide what is called 'public guardians' or equivalent who do the job of overseeing a person who is considered gravely disabled. The elder must be determined to be a danger to one's self or others. But someone has to initiate the process to seek guardianship even if one does not want to be the appointed guardian. 4. Reporting to Adult Protective Services or equivalent in your state is a first step. That is a choice to try to prevent the condition in which the police found AM in this true story. Despite the complex emotions involved, being humane was worth the effort OD made toward her mother at the end.
National Post
2 days ago
- Business
- National Post
New Study Finds America's Largest Wealth Transfer Faces Unexpected Obstacle: The Family Dinner Table
LegalShield study reveals core problem: Older generations are unprepared to leave an inheritance, and their children are unprepared to receive it The largest wealth transfer in history is underway, with an estimated $84 trillion on the line LegalShield Provider Attorney: 'The silence between generations jeopardizes far more than just financial assets.' Article content Article content ADA, Okla. — The largest private asset transfer in history is facing a significant hurdle, as a new LegalShield study reveals nearly half of Baby Boomers (41%) and Gen Xers (45%) do not have basic estate planning documents like a will. Article content Article content This lack of planning by older generations leaves their Millennial and Gen Z heirs with significant and possibly costly uncertainty as a historic $84 trillion wealth transfer builds momentum expected to carry beyond 2045. Article content This lack of planning also sets the stage for something most Millennials dread: family conflict. Article content 'The greatest risk to this $84 trillion wealth transfer isn't taxes – it's silence,' said Warren Schlichting, LegalShield CEO. 'An estate plan is essential, combined with open dialogue. Without planning and conversation, Americans risk trading family fortune for family feuds.' Article content The LegalShield survey of over 1,000 U.S. adults, conducted in June 2025, underscores the high stakes of this transfer, revealing that a clear majority of the next generation—including 63% of Millennials—is already counting on an inheritance. Article content The Single Biggest Issue? Silence Article content Even when estate plans exist, the study found a wall of silence can be just as damaging as having no plan at all. Article content Nearly one in five (19%) Boomers and Gen Xers admit their family doesn't even know if they have a will. The silence is mutual: 42% of Millennials and Gen Zers expecting an inheritance have not discussed it with the person leaving it to them. A key result is anxiety: The top inheritance-related fear for Millennials is emotional, not financial. 58% of Millennials fear family conflict more than financial fears such as taxes. Article content The Compounding Problem: Procrastination Article content The study reveals a critical failure to plan among the generations holding the most wealth. Article content 41% of Baby Boomers and 45% of Gen Xers—the two generations holding approximately 77% of U.S. private wealth according to the Federal Reserve —do not have a will. Among those with wills, many are dangerously out of date: 51% of Boomers and 46% of Gen Xers have not updated estate planning documents in more than three years. Article content Gen X: Caught in the Middle Article content The pressure is especially high for Gen Xers, who are caught in the unique position of expecting to inherit from their parents while also planning to leave wealth to their children. This 'sandwich generation' role fuels their financial anxiety. Article content One more dimension adds to the unease: 78% of Gen Xers report uncertainty about the economy, making them more concerned about protecting their assets. Article content Article content 'The silence between generations jeopardizes far more than just financial assets,' said Wayne Hassay, a LegalShield provider attorney. 'People think estate planning is only about who gets the house, but it's much more. It protects your kids, directs healthcare decisions, and handles digital assets. An attorney helps ensure no piece is missed, preventing a legal nightmare for your loved ones later on.' Article content Study Methodology: Article content The LegalShield survey was conducted in June 2025 among 1,018 U.S. adults. The data was segmented by generation (Gen Z, Millennials, Gen Xers, Baby Boomers) to analyze attitudes and behaviors toward estate planning and the generational wealth transfer. Article content About LegalShield: Article content For more than 50 years, LegalShield has provided everyday Americans with easy and affordable access to legal advice, counsel, protection, and representation. Serving millions, LegalShield is one of the world's largest platforms for legal, identity, and reputation management services protecting individuals and businesses across North America. Founded in 1972, LegalShield, and its privacy management product, IDShield, has provided individuals, families, businesses, and employers with tools and services needed to affordably live a just and secure life. Through technology and innovation, LegalShield is disrupting the traditional legal system and transforming how and where people receive legal guidance and services, with access to hundreds of qualified, trusted attorneys and law firms. LegalShield and IDShield are products of Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc. To learn more about LegalShield and IDShield, visit and Article content Article content Article content Media Contact: Article content Article content
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Daily Mail
Mother and daughter, 16, get into huge fight over STEPDAD 'who was sleeping with one and grooming the other'
California police made a disturbing revelation after breaking up a fight between a mother and daughter over the stepfather. Cops were called to the family's Fremont home in mid-June to a report of the fight between a mother and her 16-year-old daughter. Investigators soon learned that the teen claimed to be 'in love' with her mother's husband, reported The Mercury News. The stepfather, said to be in his late 30s, allegedly admitted to kissing the girl and loving her, according to text messages obtained by the police. He denied any sexual activity and allegedly told the girl to 'just deny it' if she was asked about having sexual relations with her stepfather. Police have been investigating the man for grooming and sexual abuse, but believe he has since fled the country. Authorities said they attempted to serve the man with a stay-away order while he was at work, but was told he left at lunch and never came back. Fremont is known as a safe community and was deemed the happiest city in America based on its financial stability, high life satisfaction and healthy living conditions, according to WalletHub. In 2024, there were 18 reported rapes in the city, 267 aggravated assaults and 775 simple assaults, according to the police department's annual report.
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Automotive
- Daily Mail
Barefoot Investor Scott Pape exposes child's selfish act after they were given a car: 'Disaster'
The Barefoot Investor has dished out some tough love to a mother frustrated by her 30-year-old son's lack of gratitude after she gave him a car. Fed-up mum Lesley wrote to Scott Pape, describing her son as a 'disaster'. She explained that when he turned 18, she gave up the very first car she ever owned so he could enjoy some freedom and independence. 'It was a great little car with full service records and a reliable mechanic,' she wrote in her letter, published in his weekly newsletter. But five years later, her son dismissed the car as 'a hunk of junk'. Lesley reminded him: 'It wasn't junk when I gave it to you.' Now, after buying his third cheap car, Lesley said her son is 'heavily hinting' that she should hand over her current Mercedes - a car worth less than $10,000. Lesley told the Barefoot Investor she had no intention of giving him the Mercedes, but admitted her son's ingratitude had 'robbed her of the joy of giving' and begged for his advice. 'He hasn't asked outright, but the hints are constant,' Lesley wrote. 'After years of ingratitude and fleeting thanks, there's no way I'm handing it over. I've learned my lesson. 'But here's what hurts: I no longer feel joy in giving. I'm scared of being taken advantage of again.' In his reply, Mr Pape explained the issue was not a 'son thing' but a human experience, claiming people do not value an item they have not earned. 'You gave him your beloved first car, filled with memories and sacrifice. To him, it was just… free,' Mr Pape wrote. 'That stings. But it doesn't mean he's ungrateful about everything. It just means your giving needs boundaries.' Mr Pape advised Lesley to kindly but firmly shut down the idea of handing over her Mercedes to her son the next time he decides to hint at getting the vehicle. 'About the Merc? Next time he hints, shut it down kindly but firmly: 'Mate, I'm keeping it. You'll value your next car more if you buy it yourself.',' Pape wrote. 'Don't let his hints rob you of your joy in giving to others who appreciate it. The best things in life are earned – and that's a lesson he still needs to learn.'
