02-07-2025
20 Of The Dumbest Ways People Almost Died
A couple of weeks ago, Reddit user gregorygreghouse posted to the popular Ask Reddit page to ask, "What's the dumbest reason you almost died?" and oh my god, people's responses were wild. I, for one, was extremely entertained, so I decided to share! Here are some of the best answers:
"When I was a kid I almost hopped in some strange man's car to help him find his puppy. I only didn't go because my little brother started crying. I thought he was SO boring."
"I got folded up in one of those fold-up couch/bed things. It got stuck and I was in there for 15 minutes. I was sweating so bad, pinned. Accepted death. It was at my friend's house and we were like 12. Luckily his older sister came home and they each grabbed a side and forced it open."
"I am not allowed near a chainsaw."
"Reached into a spare switchboard space and touched the live 440-volt busbar at the back because someone had removed the guard."
"Chainsaw kicked back and missed my head by like 3 inches."
"I was given a very severe wedgie, and I had to get rushed to the hospital. It was all captured on camera and there are still photos. 😂"
"Holding a Swiffer sweeper handle above me outside during a thunderstorm to see if it would attract lightning. Nothing struck me, but it took one striking about 30 feet away for me to think, 'WTF are you doing, that shit can and will kill you.' I don't know why I was expecting to be all like Thor and his hammer with the lightning coursing around me, all badass."
"I let myself become morbidly obese with no exercise. The doctor told me I was going to have a heart attack any day now. Thankfully, it shook me up and since then I have lost over 100 lbs."
"My toast got stuck in the toaster. I had a metal knife in my hand. The toaster was still plugged in. Fortunately, my brain kicked into gear an inch before my knife made contact with the toaster. I think about that a lot."
"I stepped onto the road whilst busy talking, not realizing I was standing seconds from being hit by a bus. A random stranger grabbed my shirt and pulled me back onto the curb. The bus brushed against my hair as it drove past. The stranger just kept on walking after causally saving my life."
"Joined the army."
"Tried to catch an olive with my mouth. It went right down and I choked on it. My dad, an absolute hero, grabbed my legs and picked me up upside down, and the olive came right out again, so no Heimlich maneuver necessary."
"I was really drunk at Oktoberfest in Munich. We went on the rollercoaster and I didn't remove my backpack. The attendant just 'closed' the security attachment over my shoulders, and when we were doing a loop, I noticed the thing wasn't actually closed."
"I took a bite of a fried mozzarella stick, didn't bite through the cheese, and swallowed the first half. I had to pull the cheese out of my throat like a clown with a string of handkerchiefs. It was my 9th birthday, and we were eating at the restaurant my mom and two aunts worked at. All of their coworkers saw it happen and were horrified."
"Riding my bike down a mountain road, I smoked the break pads down to the metal, hit a pile of horse shit, did a front flip, and meat crayoned into a ditch full of poison ivy. Having that poison ivy contact fresh abrasions caused a brutal reaction and took the rest of the summer to heal."
"Fell off a ladder breaking into my own house because I didn't want to wake my wife up."
"I was around a week old and I just randomly stopped breathing. IDK, I was very dramatic back then."
"I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed an electric fence with both hands. It was incredibly painful, and I screamed because I physically couldn't let go. Thankfully, a friend was there to help me."
"I ate a gas station egg sandwich, which landed me in the ICU with the nurse injecting my bum due to seizure and asphyxiation from severe allergy. My tombstone would have said, 'taken by an egg sandwich.'"
And finally: "I was wearing a Halloween costume with no arm holes — it wouldn't have been authentic to have arms — and fell backward down a staircase! Thank God my best friend saw it happen and grabbed me before I went headfirst down the flight."
IDK about you, but I feel kinda dazed reading some of these! Please leave all your thoughts in the comments below. Or, better yet, share your own dumb near-death story! I love reading these.
If you have a story to tell but prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out this anonymous form! Besides, who knows — your comment could be included in a future BuzzFeed article.
Please note: some comments have been edited for length and/or clarity.
