Latest news with #griefsupport


BBC News
14-07-2025
- BBC News
Southport: 'We want to carry on Bebe's light and big heart'
The mother of Bebe King who was killed in the Southport knife attacks has said her daughter had the "biggest heart" and she wanted to "carry on her light" by providing grief support for six, Alice Aguiar, nine, and Elsie Dot Stancombe, seven, were murdered at a Taylor Swift-themed dance workshop last parents have launched Bebe's Hive to provide creative sessions using art, music and storytelling to help bereaved children. Her mum, Lauren King, told BBC Breakfast: "Bebe was so full of joy and had the biggest heart". Ms King added: "She was very caring and creative, and we want to carry on her light and we want to do that with Bebe's Hive."She said she had "turned to creativity" in her own grief and she wanted to offer that to children in the community who had lost loved up Bebe's hive was "a way to concentrate on the beautiful personalities" of children, she said. "Bebe's with me all the time, but everything we put into Bebe's Hive – it's got Bebe at the forefront – it carries me."Axel Rudakubana, then 17, killed the girls when he walked into a dance workshop on Hart Street and began attacking them at from Banks in Lancashire, was jailed for life with a minimum term of 52 years at Liverpool Crown Court in January this year. Listen to the best of BBC Radio Merseyside on Sounds and follow BBC Merseyside on Facebook, X, and Instagram. You can also send story ideas via Whatsapp to 0808 100 2230.


BBC News
28-06-2025
- Health
- BBC News
Bristol man to run 120km in 24 hours for hospice charity
A 31-year-old man is training to run 120km (75 miles) in 24 hours, in memory of his grandmother and to raise awareness of palliative Lerway died in October 2023 and now Josh Galea, her grandson who lives in Bristol, is running the equivalent of almost three marathons to support St Peter's Galea, who became Ms Lerway's informal carer when her health declined, said: "Unfortunately, the end of my Nan's life was very difficult, not only for her, but also for the wider family who had to care for her."A dignified and comfortable death is so, so important and that's why I'm doing this challenge. It's what my Nan would have wanted me to do." Ms Lerway was first seen by nurses from St Peter's Hospice 48 hours before she died. Mr Galea said that within an hour of them arriving the whole situation improved and the family could "breathe a sigh of relief". "It put us at ease knowing that she was being looked after, and it allowed us to say goodbye to her peacefully," he Lerway died aged 85, the day after her daughter's 60th Mr Galea is channelling his grief into 25 and 26 October 2025 he will run 120km (75 miles) in 24 hours to raise money for St Peter's said: "I've had no choice but to train as I'm not a runner, I hate running in fact. "I spent my whole life playing ice hockey for Bristol but I had to stop when I started caring for Nan. "My biggest win so far has been 50km in one go – I'm completely winging it!"
Yahoo
23-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Woman Finds Comfort in Friendship Between Pomeranian and Pigeon After Loss of Daughter: ‘It Came at the Right Time'
Glenda Spindler, a mother from Minnepolis, is finding joy and comfort in an unlikely animal friendship following the death of her daughter Flash, Spindler's Pomeranian, and Screech, a baby pigeon they found in a nearby park, have been the best of friends ever since their meeting"I think it came at the right time because I got to see how deeply she fell in love with the pigeon," Spindler said of her daughter's affection for the animalsA Minnesota mother is pushing through her grief by embracing the love between the animals around her. In the autumn of 2024, Glenda Spindler, her daughter and their Pomeranian named Flash befriended a baby pigeon, whom they called Screech, per CBS affiliate WCCO. Growing into adulthood near Spindler's Minneapolis residence, just a few blocks away from the Mississippi River, Screech quickly developed a strong bond with Flash. In February, Spindler's daughter died. While her grief is palpable, Spindler can take comfort in the unlikely friendship between Screech and Flash — a friendship her daughter cherished. "I think it came at the right time because I got to see how deeply she fell in love with the pigeon," Spindler said. The friendship began on a fall day in Gold Medal Park. Flash was sniffing around on the ground, so much so that Spindler began to suspect something out of the ordinary. She took a closer look and found a baby pigeon — Screech. Spindler scooped up Screech and toted the bird around in her wheelchair. Flash's interest in the little bird never wavered, Spindler said, their connection instantaneous. "He constantly checked on that baby," Spindler said. "They had a bond." In one clip, Flash happily scampers around Screech, sniffing the small bird, who in turn was hobbling on and off Spindler's feet. Flash then wags his tail and turns to face the camera, a big smile plastered across his face. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Spindler never wanted a bird — "They're too messy," she told WCCO. But Screech's frequent visits to Spindler's home — not to mention her warmth and cuddles — endeared her. When it became clear the pigeon was in it for the long haul, Spindler began feeding Screech while she relished in the bird's clear love for her and Flash. Any other pigeon would just fly away, a fact not lost on some of Spindler's neighbors. Joe Wellin, whose regular walks take him by Spindler's house, couldn't help but notice the dynamic between Flash and Screech. "Usually the dogs will chase the pigeons away, or get used to them and just ignore them, but they seem to be friends," he told the outlet. Read the original article on People


CNN
13-06-2025
- Health
- CNN
These dads lost everything, and then they found each other
The worst day of Brad Bailey's life was March 5, 2020: the day his son, Rhoan, was stillborn at 39 weeks old. His wife, Erica Bailey, had experienced a routine pregnancy until that day. No issues, no extra monitoring necessary. That morning, however, something was awry. The baby had stopped moving, and she went straight to the hospital. An ultrasound confirmed the couple's worst fear: The baby didn't have a heartbeat. Rhoan was declared dead before the Baileys ever got a chance to meet him. In the days and weeks that followed, the couple did the best they could to honor their son. They had a funeral near their home in Kansas City, Missouri. They took time off from work. Erica Bailey began to find comfort and purpose in volunteering for a nonprofit that advocates for stillbirth prevention, but Brad, 38, was still stupefied by sadness. 'Burying your child is something that only those who have been around it or experienced it can understand,' he said. 'I felt like I had nobody to talk to and no way out.' Eventually, upon a recommendation from his wife, Bailey connected with an online organization called the Sad Dads Club, a nonprofit that provides peer-to-peer community and support for bereaved fathers. The club supports dads who have endured any type of perinatal loss – that is, death of a baby during pregnancy, labor or within the first few weeks after birth. The group also welcomes fathers who have lost children to sudden infant death syndrome and those who have lost older and even adult children. It helps dads by providing a safe space for them to grieve, said Rob Reider, a club cofounder and executive director. The men share heartache, fear, anger, confusion, joy and any other emotion they experience on their journey. They also trade insights, knowledge and advice. Most of the group's meetups are virtual: either via weekly video calls or messaging on the SDC Discord channel. Twice annually, the organization hosts an in-person retreat by a pond in Maine. The Sad Dads Club supports members in other ways, too. Through donations and grants, the organization has been able to help unlock access to professional mental health services. The group currently covers six online therapy sessions at no cost for up to 20 dads each year. This kind of counseling and camaraderie after the loss of a child can be invaluable, Reider said. 'Living with the loss of a child is a never-ending journey,' he said. 'Finding help shouldn't be a burden, too.' There certainly are lots of fathers grappling with the grief of stillbirth. One out of every 175 pregnancies in the United States ends in stillbirth, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This means about 21,000 babies are stillborn annually. While there are mental health programs to help parents manage this heartbreak, most of them are for mothers, said Michelle Goldwin Kaufman, a psychologist in Memphis, Tennessee. Kaufman noted this means dads are left to manage heartache on their own. It's yet another challenge, considering that traditional masculinity norms reject vulnerability and that men's mental health has been in crisis. 'One of the stereotypes is that men want to fix things, but stillbirth is not a problem anyone can fix,' said Kaufman, who is also an adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Memphis. 'The reality is that dads in these scenarios often get forgotten, and it's important to create an environment where they can give their grief space.' This need for connection is precisely what led 40-year-old Reider to team up with friends Jay Tansey and Chris Piasecki and start the Sad Dads Club. All three men live in or near Portland, Maine, and all three lost children to stillbirth during an 18-month period. Reider and Tansey, best friends from college, each experienced this trauma in 2017. Piasecki, the husband of a college classmate, had a child die a year later. Following these tragedies, the men struggled with feelings of isolation, guilt and sadness, but they found comfort in spending time together. These early meetups among dads were informal gatherings, filled with emotion, extended, uncomfortable silences and lots of beer. 'Basically, we were three grown men sitting there over beers, bawling our eyes out, talking about our daughters, and learning how to piece life together as best we could,' Tansey, 40, said. Piasecki, 38, called it 'beers and tears.' One of the reasons he found the get-togethers so helpful is because each dad knew he didn't have to explain what he was feeling because his friends felt it, too. 'I remember thinking, 'This is the first conversation I've ever had with other guys where I don't have to give the entire backstory of why I feel like crap,'' Piasecki said. 'I could live in the moment and talk about how I was feeling at that time, and they'd just understand. That was incredibly powerful. We became each other's lifeline.' Gradually the trio met other local men who had also lost babies to stillbirth, and they invited the newcomers to join. Then, one cold and rainy night in 2022, Reider was leaving the house to meet the group at a bar in Portland, Maine, when his wife Tehilah remarked that he was heading to a meeting of the 'Sad Dads Club.' The name stuck. Reider, Tansey and Piasecki formally founded the nonprofit later that year. They started slowly: first an Instagram account, then a website. The site launched with three 'birth stories,' in which the founders shared heart-wrenching details of their losses. These narratives made it clear from the beginning: SDC was a place where men could be vulnerable and let it all out. Soon after launching the website, the group started monthly video call meetings. The dads added an online channel to chat in 2023 – it started small and now includes subgroups for topics such as returning to work, celebrating the birthdays of the kids they have lost, sex after loss and even lighter fare such as fantasy football. These days, the club meets every Thursday night. Dads log on from all over the world – including Maine, California, England and Australia. Sessions alternate between 'My Child, My Story,' during which one member gets the floor and shares stories, photos and other mementos; and 'Open Hour,' which is more of a moderated peer-to-peer support group focusing on topics such as relationships and pregnancy after loss. A session earlier this year dealt with the complicated subject of returning to work after losing a child. Reider opened the session by saying, 'We hate why we're all here but we're glad that we found one another.' Later, he asked participants to introduce themselves by their first name and the name of the child they lost. Reider isn't just Rob; he is Rob, Lila's dad. Tansey is Jay, Bella's Dad. Piasecki is Chris, Isabelle's dad. A few months after Sad Dads got going, Reider and his friends had an idea: Why not have a meetup in real life? The trio got to work on finding a house large enough for about two dozen men and secluded enough for participants to feel like they were really stepping out of their everyday lives and into a new space for healing. Reider's wife eventually found the perfect spot in Raymond, Maine, about 30 minutes outside of Portland. The first retreat was in October 2023; since then, there have been three others for a total of four. Each retreat includes 25 men. Over the course of two and a half days, the men cook food together, play Wiffle ball, go for hikes and unwind from their daily lives. As the men relax, they begin to open up. Reider recalled a moment during the first retreat when he walked by a group of men who had never met in real life, talking like old friends about their 'Rainbow' kids – the kids they have had since they lost a child to stillbirth. During a subsequent retreat, one participant who had struggled for a while told the group that he thought the retreat healed the past four years of his life. Matt Bakalar, an SDC member from Somerville, Massachusetts, has attended two retreats so far, and said he is consistently amazed by how close the men get in such a short time. 'These are guys I've been through everything with; we have this horrible bond that, in a way, keeps us going,' Bakalar, 37, said. 'I'm used to seeing the guys on (video calls). To go to the retreat and see them and hug them and cry with them in person is an amazing experience.' So far, retreats have had very little structure outside of mealtimes. This is by design. The founders say that without an agenda, participants are free to take the retreat wherever they want to go —– even if that means one group of dads wants to take a hike and another group of dads wants to drink beer and talk. They often do both. The objective for the retreats is to make sure no dad feels alone. 'When dads come to the retreat hurting, we jump right into that pain pit with them,' Reider said. 'We won't wince, and we'll be right there with them with our arms around them in that pit of pain, so they don't feel alone. That's what Sad Dads Club is all about.' None of the founders knows exactly how many men the group has helped over the years — between the number of dads who participate in formal events and those who interact with the group through Instagram, they estimate it's in the thousands, if not tens of thousands. Looking forward, two of the organization's goals are to expand this reach, offer more mental health support and establish active in-real-life meetups around the country. Reider said he'd like to offer more free therapy sessions to a larger pool of men. 'In a dream world they could offer every one of their dads unlimited therapy or coaching services without a time stamp,' said Karina Chandler, a therapist in Portland, Maine, who has offered 'grief coaching' services to SDC members. While most of the dads learn positive coping skills to use when tackling their pain head-on, club members support without judgment those who can't or aren't ready yet, encouraging grace. Reider noted that nobody ever 'gets over' the loss of a loved one. 'It's not moving on, it's moving through,' he said. Just ask Brad Bailey. He barely spoke at his first SDC meeting, but now he's a regular contributor. Bailey also has found his voice in the world. The once quiet and private person openly celebrates his son Rhoan, putting the boy's name on a flag that also reads, 'Make him proud.' The flag hangs in Bailey's home gym, a reminder that Rhoan is always with him. 'Even though he's not here, we will never let him be forgotten,' Bailey said. 'I'm not sure I could have reached the place I'm in today without the help of these men.' Matt Villano is a writer and editor based in Healdsburg, California. To learn more about him, visit


The Independent
06-06-2025
- Business
- The Independent
Experts suggest how you should deal with debt after a loved one dies
Navigating the financial complexities that arise after losing a loved one can feel like an insurmountable task when dealing with grief. Yet, understanding the immediate financial implications of debt becomes essential during such times. Two financial experts offer guidance on managing debt. This includes everything from assessing liabilities to understanding wills and identifying situations where payment may not be required. First steps: Pause, notify and organise Handling financial matters after a loved one's death can feel both overwhelming and daunting. 'In England and Wales, obtaining grant of probate or letters of administration should be the priority, as banks and lenders will normally only take instruction from an executor or administrator,' explains head of private clients at St. James's Place, Iain McLeod. Securing this legal documentation allows the estate to be managed properly – and prevents delays when dealing with financial institutions. External relations manager at Money Wellness Daniel Woodhouse echoes the need for clarity and swift communication. 'The first thing we'd suggest is letting any creditors know that the person has passed away,' he says, 'they'll usually pause the account while things are sorted, which gives you some breathing space.' He advises obtaining several official copies of the death certificate early on, as creditors may request one. Once notifications have been made, it's time to assess the full scope of the deceased's financial obligations. 'Start pulling together any paperwork that shows what debts or accounts were in their name,' says Woodhouse. Accessing a credit report is also helpful for building a complete picture of what's owed. Who owes what when it comes to a deceased person's debt is possibly the most common question. 'Debts are not inherited in the UK,' says McLeod. 'Family members can only be responsible for a deceased person's debts if it was a joint loan or agreement, or provided a loan guarantee, for example.' However, the rules are strict. 'If someone dies, their debt becomes a liability of their estate,' he explains. 'The Personal Representative of the estate will use the assets of the estate to help settle the debt. If the estate does not have sufficient funds, it becomes an insolvent estate. In that situation, there is a prescribed order for how the debts are to be repaid.' What happens to joint debts? Responsibilities are different for shared debts however. 'If you had a joint loan or shared overdraft with the person who passed away, you'll usually become responsible for the remaining balance,' says Woodhouse. 'It's really important to speak to the lender and let them know what's happened. Most will be understanding and may be able to offer more manageable repayment options.' Credit card debt, however, is more nuanced. 'With credit cards, these are only ever in one name – however, the credit provider may allow a second card for a partner or spouse to use,' says McLeod. 'The debt is the responsibility of the estate of the deceased primary cardholder. Additional card holders may consider applying for a new credit card in their own name if eligible.' But being an additional cardholder on someone's credit card isn't the same as a joint debt. 'You wouldn't normally be liable for the balance in that case,' says Woodhouse. Can inheritance be claimed by creditors? The short answer is yes, but only indirectly. 'Creditors can't go after beneficiaries directly,' says Woodhouse. 'But debts must be paid from the estate before any inheritance is passed on. 'If money is handed out too soon, there's a risk it could be claimed back to pay off outstanding debts. That's why it's so important to follow the right process.' McLeod underscores the legal implications: 'Great care should be taken in the administration of an estate which may be insolvent, and seeking legal guidance where appropriate is advised. 'Executors are strongly advised to receive written confirmation that any debts are repaid or written off before any distributions can be made to beneficiaries.' If assets have been distributed without settling all the estate's debts, McLeod warns that the executor could be personally liable. Mistakes to avoid There are common mistakes that are important to avoid when it comes to managing posthumous debt. ' One of the most common mistakes is paying debts out of your own pocket straight away, thinking you have to – when in many cases, you don't,' says Woodhouse. 'Another is putting it off completely because it all feels too overwhelming. The best thing you can do is take it one step at a time, keep a record of who you've spoken to, and get the right support early on. You don't have to go through it alone.' If you're struggling with debt after the loss of a loved one, there are support systems available. ' Charities like Cruse or Marie Curie can provide emotional support when you're grieving,' says Woodhouse. 'It's also worth checking if you're eligible for the Bereavement Support Payment, especially if you were the partner of the person who died. It's a tax-free payment that could make a real difference. You can find more information on