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Miscarriage: 'Don't tell me my baby wasn't meant to be'
Miscarriage: 'Don't tell me my baby wasn't meant to be'

BBC News

time11-07-2025

  • Health
  • BBC News

Miscarriage: 'Don't tell me my baby wasn't meant to be'

"There was probably something wrong with your baby", "you could always try again", "it wasn't meant to be".These are just a sample of the comments Siobhan Gorman experienced when her baby died 16 weeks into her pregnancy."It's not out of malice, I found a lot of people just don't know what to say," said the teacher from 35, was home alone when she went into labour and gave birth to her baby experience has left her with both post-traumatic stress disorder and a determination to educate others about the reality of miscarriage, as well as how to support those who experience it. Warning: Article contains graphic description of miscarriage which some readers may find upsetting. On 23 January last year, Siobhan began experiencing sickness, pains in her bump and blood loss so went to an emergency gynaecology a urine test she was told her symptoms were most likely signs an infection and was sent home with antibiotics. With her partner away in Italy she stayed home to rest but the following evening felt a shooting pain in her bump so intense that it made her drop to the floor."And then my waters broke and I ended up giving birth on my bathroom floor alone," she said. Unable to reach her phone she tried yelling for her neighbours, but her shouts went she could do was remain in the bathroom, holding her tiny baby. "My baby was alive but 16 weeks is too young," she said through tears."I'm holding my baby and I could tell that there was nothing I could do."My baby had 10 tiny fingers and toes and eyes and ears and was perfectly formed but was just tiny, the size of a pear." She was eventually able to get to her phone and call her mother who was nearby. "I didn't even say what happened, I just said 'you need to get to the house'," she said. An ambulance was called for but there was a long wait so her father drove her to the nearest hospital."I stood in A&E with my baby in a towel," she said. "I was told that my baby had died and my world just changed." Siobhan said she was able to find support from charities including Morgan's Wings and Petals. She said her school were amazingly supportive and she was able take 16 weeks sick she welcomed news that parents who experience a miscarriage before 24 weeks of pregnancy will be entitled to bereavement leave under a planned change to the Employment Rights Bill."I wasn't ill, my baby had died," she said. After a six-month wait for a post mortem, which did not provide any answers, they were able to have a funeral. Birth certificates are not issued for babies born before 24 weeks England, parents who lose a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy can receive a certificate in recognition of their loss but no equivalent is available in means the only paperwork Siobhan has to show Archie existed is a cremation months on, Siobhan can't believe how naïve she was about miscarriage until it happened to her. "I assumed that you would bleed and you'd be told that there's no heartbeat, I didn't even consider the multiple other forms of baby loss that are out there," she said. If a baby dies before 24 completed weeks of pregnancy, it is known as a miscarriage but Siobhan prefers the term baby loss to describe what she went through."I had a baby and my baby died," she said. Jenni Whitmore, 41, from Brynna in Rhondda Cynon Taf, has an 11-year-old daughter and has had three also feels uncomfortable about some of the terminology."When you're told that your pregnancy can't progress anymore, you're not advised 'I'm really sorry your baby's died', you're just told your pregnancy is not viable, which yes in medical terms is correct but the terminology used needs improved," she said."We never refer to our miscarriage as a foetus, it's always 'our baby', 'my daughter's sibling'."Jenni's first two miscarriages were in October 2018, at six weeks, and in March 2019, at 10 weeks, following fertility treatment. Her third miscarriage was in February 2023 after becoming pregnant was 13 weeks pregnant when she was told there was no heartbeat and chose to stay at home and let nature take its course."It is like going through labour," she said."You're just left to deal with that at home with the advice to take paracetamol which doesn't touch it, obviously, and then once it has happened, you physically have to flush that toilet and basically flush what is referred to medically as 'product' away."But of course, mentally we know that that was our baby... and I don't think that ever leaves you." Like Siobhan, she has also experienced hurtful comments from those around her."We were met with comments of 'at least it was an early loss' and 'you can try again' but we knew it was the end of the road for us, which I think was quite difficult to process," she said. How did these comments make her feel?"It's anger, just anger," she said. "I think it's just ignorance to be honest."From the minute you've seen that pregnancy test with the two lines, you've prepared your next 10, 20, 30 years. You've planned out the rest of your life."Other people in her life just stayed away."That was quite hard because you just crave that little bit of support," said. So what is the right thing to say to someone who has had a miscarriage?"We had friends that turned up and said nothing but gave us hugs, which was really appreciated," said Jenni. "Or for someone to just say 'this is totally rubbish, I can't change it for you, but I'm here and if you need anything you know where the phone is'."Siobhan said the comment that she found the hardest was: "It wasn't meant to be.""It's the baby that has made me a mother and I don't have my child, but I am a mother," she said would prefer people simply admitted that they did not know what to said seeing other women's pregnancy announcements, gender reveal parties and baby showers on social media had been hard."I'm still able to be happy for them, you can have emotions that run alongside each other so you can be happy for somebody else, but still sad for yourself," she said."It's really hard to see what could have been but it also made me realise what a miracle it is." Details of help and support with miscarriage and pregnancy-related issues are available at BBC Action Line

Manx hospital ward changes 'more sensitive' to pregnancy issues
Manx hospital ward changes 'more sensitive' to pregnancy issues

BBC News

time09-07-2025

  • Health
  • BBC News

Manx hospital ward changes 'more sensitive' to pregnancy issues

Ward changes at the Isle of Man's main hospital will be "much more sensitive" and offer a "more confidential" service for women experiencing early pregnancy complications, Manx Care has said. A ward reconfiguration project is being carried out throughout 2025, with major changes to gynaecological care, as well as changes to the stroke Care said the changes followed a public survey that gathered feedback on women's health the changes a new Gynaecology Assessment Unit (GAU) has been opened to assess and treat urgent gynaecological problems. Senior Sister for the GAU Jody Brannon said the changes had seen the creation of an early pregnancy assessment unit "to support families" during "profoundly difficult times".The new Bluebell Suite, which aims to provide a safe space for delivering both good and bad news, has also been Brannon said the space was "a bit of a comfort room rather than a clinical room" and helped to make the service "more confidential". 'Right care at the right time' While the additional spaces have been opened near to the existing women and children's unit, a separate entrance was now used for access. There was also new nursing staff dedicated to the area, and with the planned introduction of follow-up services "in a couple of weeks time", the changes were "improving the service massively", Ms Brannon of midwifery Regan Baggley said it was clear from the feedback that people "wanted us to concentrate on early pregnancy, pregnancy loss, and gynaecological conditions".She said the ward changes in gynaecology "ensures that women and their families are receiving the right care at the right time, in the right place and by the right professionals". Other changes have also been introduced on ward four, where a new location for stroke care is being developed to include rehabilitation ward was converted to accommodate other services during the coronavirus pandemic and has not reverted relocated on the ground floor meant there was "direct access to an outside space that will enhance their overall recovery and wellbeing", Ms Baggley said further changes planned in the autumn include creating a combined surgical and gynaecology unit within wards seven and would join the surgical wards, which were separated at the start of the pandemic, she added. Read more stories from the Isle of Man on the BBC, watch BBC North West Tonight on BBC iPlayer and follow BBC Isle of Man on Facebook and X.

Wellington Hospital will not proceed with cutting maternity and gynaecology beds
Wellington Hospital will not proceed with cutting maternity and gynaecology beds

RNZ News

time08-07-2025

  • Health
  • RNZ News

Wellington Hospital will not proceed with cutting maternity and gynaecology beds

Wellington Regional Hospital. Photo: RNZ / REECE BAKER Health New Zealand has decided not to proceed with a proposed trial that was going to cut 12 maternity and gynaecology beds at Wellington Regional Hospital. The trial was aimed at making more room for patients from the overcrowded Emergency Department, according to a leaked memo. But after an emotional meeting with staff on Monday, who felt blindsided by the proposal, Health New Zealand has back-tracked saying it understands the importance of these services to women and families across the region. They said after careful consideration of feedback from a broad range of stakeholders, the proposal will not continue. MORE TO COME...

The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line
The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line

Yahoo

time08-07-2025

  • Health
  • Yahoo

The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line

In a rural village close to the Ukrainian front line, a group of women queue quietly outside a purple and white ambulance, waiting to be seen by a doctor with his shaved head dyed the blue and yellow of the Ukrainian flag. For many of them, it's their first time seeing a doctor since the war began more than three years ago. Since 2022, Dr Serhii Baksheiev, 53, has carried out more than 1,000 gynaecological examinations on women throughout front-line and occupied areas in his kitted out mobile clinic - named 'The Feminine Shuttle' and complete with a bright pink examination chair. "This is a humanitarian volunteering mission. It's for people who need help, in places where there are no doctors or hospitals, and it's absolutely free," he says. The war with Russia has placed a huge strain on Ukraine's healthcare system, with more than 1,940 attacks on health facilities since the invasion, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) - making it the highest number in any humanitarian crisis to date - and with a significant increase in those attacks since December 2023. When the war began, Dr Baksheiev, who is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, initially spent his days in a bunker in Kyiv helping to deliver babies as bombs fell above. 'They took shrapnel from my heart' – the magnets saving lives in Ukraine 'It's Groundhog Day': Ukraine's sky defenders stuck in relentless battle The idea for an on-the-road clinic came to him, he says, after later medical volunteer missions to the front line revealed the lack of facilities because medical centres and hospitals had been completely destroyed. "We went to Kharkiv and Chernihiv, which were very damaged, and the most difficult thing was not being able to provide gynaecological services because there were no tools and equipment, because everything was ruined," he says. Dr Baksheiev and his team would have to use anything available as an examination table, including old sofas, meaning he would have to kneel on the floor to conduct examinations. Today, walking around the electric vehicle, it's clear Dr Baksheiev is incredibly proud of its capabilities: it's been kitted out with everything he and his team could need in these remote areas, including an ultrasound machine and medical equipment to carry out minor surgeries. During a two-day mission the team can perform up to 80 colposcopies - where they examine the cervix and vulva for signs of cancerous or pre-cancerous tissue. The work is crucial to the people living in these remote areas. His visits to small rural villages occupied by the Russians are often carried out in secret. He and his team slip in for a day or two to carry out their examinations and leave before they are detected. Figures provided by Ukraine's public health ministry and seen by the BBC show detection rates for ovarian and cervical cancers are down by 17% and 10% respectively since 2020. And when doctors like Dr Baksheiev do get into those areas to perform examinations, they are finding a higher than average incidence of malignant tumours. On average, up to 4% of all women are diagnosed with malignant tumours after being examined, according to FRIDA Ukraine, the medical organisation Dr Baksheiev volunteers for. Dr Ulana Supron was Ukraine's health minister from 2016 to 2019. She says there is a concern about the "ticking time bomb" of health outcomes as the war drags on. "In the public health community, there definitely is a lot of worry about what's going to happen as the war continues," she says. "Not only in terms of physical health, but also mental health - because there is a constant stress, constant psychological trauma happening." Dr Supron says the government has managed to partially or fully rebuild as many as 964 medical facilities that were damaged by Russia. "They're working closely with the WHO and with other international organisations to try to come up with a plan on how we can rebuild the health system that was in place prior to Russia's invasion," she adds. Despite a cancer diagnosis himself in September 2024, Dr Baksheiev continues to volunteer and provide treatment to women across the country. "Apart from the medical examination, you also hear them out because a lot of patients have stories about how the Russians attacked their villages," he says. "So we are not only doctors, we're the therapists for these patients."

The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line
The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line

BBC News

time07-07-2025

  • Health
  • BBC News

The doctor fighting for women's health on Ukraine's front line

In a rural village close to the Ukrainian front line, a group of women queue quietly outside a purple and white ambulance, waiting to be seen by a doctor with his shaved head dyed the blue and yellow of the Ukrainian many of them, it's their first time seeing a doctor since the war began more than three years 2022, Dr Serhii Baksheiev, 53, has carried out more than 1,000 gynaecological examinations on women throughout front-line and occupied areas in his kitted out mobile clinic - named 'The Feminine Shuttle' and complete with a bright pink examination chair. "This is a humanitarian volunteering mission. It's for people who need help, in places where there are no doctors or hospitals, and it's absolutely free," he war with Russia has placed a huge strain on Ukraine's healthcare system, with more than 1,940 attacks on health facilities since the invasion, according to the World Health Organization (WHO) - making it the highest number in any humanitarian crisis to date - and with a significant increase in those attacks since December the war began, Dr Baksheiev, who is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, initially spent his days in a bunker in Kyiv helping to deliver babies as bombs fell above. The idea for an on-the-road clinic came to him, he says, after later medical volunteer missions to the front line revealed the lack of facilities because medical centres and hospitals had been completely destroyed."We went to Kharkiv and Chernihiv, which were very damaged, and the most difficult thing was not being able to provide gynaecological services because there were no tools and equipment, because everything was ruined," he Baksheiev and his team would have to use anything available as an examination table, including old sofas, meaning he would have to kneel on the floor to conduct walking around the electric vehicle, it's clear Dr Baksheiev is incredibly proud of its capabilities: it's been kitted out with everything he and his team could need in these remote areas, including an ultrasound machine and medical equipment to carry out minor surgeries. During a two-day mission the team can perform up to 80 colposcopies - where they examine the cervix and vulva for signs of cancerous or pre-cancerous work is crucial to the people living in these remote areas. His visits to small rural villages occupied by the Russians are often carried out in secret. He and his team slip in for a day or two to carry out their examinations and leave before they are provided by Ukraine's public health ministry and seen by the BBC show detection rates for ovarian and cervical cancers are down by 17% and 10% respectively since when doctors like Dr Baksheiev do get into those areas to perform examinations, they are finding a higher than average incidence of malignant tumours. On average, up to 4% of all women are diagnosed with malignant tumours after being examined, according to FRIDA Ukraine, the medical organisation Dr Baksheiev volunteers Ulana Supron was Ukraine's health minister from 2016 to 2019. She says there is a concern about the "ticking time bomb" of health outcomes as the war drags on."In the public health community, there definitely is a lot of worry about what's going to happen as the war continues," she says. "Not only in terms of physical health, but also mental health - because there is a constant stress, constant psychological trauma happening." Dr Supron says the government has managed to partially or fully rebuild as many as 964 medical facilities that were damaged by Russia. "They're working closely with the WHO and with other international organisations to try to come up with a plan on how we can rebuild the health system that was in place prior to Russia's invasion," she a cancer diagnosis himself in September 2024, Dr Baksheiev continues to volunteer and provide treatment to women across the country."Apart from the medical examination, you also hear them out because a lot of patients have stories about how the Russians attacked their villages," he says. "So we are not only doctors, we're the therapists for these patients."

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