Latest news with #hometown
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: My son wants to marry a woman I hate
DEAR ABBY: My son is 20 and a senior in college. He's a baseball player and is about to ask the girl he's been dating for a year and a half to marry him. My wife and I don't get along with her at all. She has a myriad of health problems and takes eight prescriptions a day. Because of her conditions, she rarely has the energy to do anything but lie around when she comes to our house. She used to have a job packing groceries at a market, and she would frequently log 10 to 12 miles a day walking. She quit that job for a job at an ice cream shop where she does little walking. We had a get-together at my other son's house, and she said she couldn't come because she was too tired. My wife sent my son a message saying, 'Really? From scooping ice cream?' The girlfriend needed to use my son's phone and saw the message. Her feelings were hurt, and now she will have nothing to do with us. (They still expect us to pay for their wedding, and for gas and maintenance on his car to visit her parents almost daily.) We want to support our son, but we are over it with her. There is so much more I could tell you. Please help. — DAD WHO'S OVER IT DEAR DAD: If your son's fiancee is taking eight medications a day, she has real health problems. Her fatigue is likely part of it. It's a shame she can't perform up to your expectations. Under the circumstances, I can understand why she would be hurt by your wife's comment. If you want to support your son, apologize to her. I should also point out that if your son is not self-supporting, he is not yet financially prepared for the responsibilities that marriage brings with it. His fiancee may be willing to help, but her income is limited right now and could diminish to nothing if she becomes sicker. Given the current situation, it might be better if the wedding were postponed. DEAR ABBY: My brother and his wife have three adult children. When his youngest daughter got married several years ago, my sisters and I were not invited to the bridal shower. We were told it was because it was too costly, but it still caused hurt feelings on our side. I know her other aunts were invited. Should I say anything to my brother? I'm only asking because now his eldest daughter is engaged. I assume my sisters and I will again be excluded. I just keep wondering if they don't like us or what happened. I don't remember doing anything to them growing up or speaking ill of them or their mother. Must I just let it go and move on? — UNINVITED IN PENNSYLVANIA DEAR UNINVITED: Rather than wait and wonder, call your brother and congratulate him on his daughter's engagement. When you do, tell him you and your sisters would love to come to the shower. His response will tell you what you need to know. If it doesn't, follow up that question with another about whether you may have done anything to cause a rift in the family. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Solve the daily Crossword
RNZ News
4 days ago
- Health
- RNZ News
Dead teen's family told they had to organise getting his body back to hometown
An urgent transfer meant the young man's family did not have a chance to say goodbye to him before his death. Photo: 123RF The family of a teenager who died from complications after an operation never got the chance to say goodbye. They were further distressed by being told they needed to organise his body's repatriation to his hometown. A complaint about the 19-year-old's care was referred to Health and Disability Commissioner by the coroner. The young man - who died in 2015 - had undergone an operation in January that year related to his type 2 neurofibromatosis - a genetic condition that causes benign tumours to develop on nerves, particularly those in the skull and spine. There were complications due to a post-operative infection and meningitis, which was treated successfully at a secondary hospital. The man - who was referred to in the commissioner's report as Mr B - continued to suffer from fluid building up around the brain and required regular release of cerebrospinal fluid through lumbar puncture. He was admitted to hospital with ongoing headaches and vomiting in April. A decision was made to hold off on further lumbar punctures due to concerns it could cause a hernia and to transfer him to another hospital via an air retrieval team. The transfer was delayed due due to staffing issues and a lack of an available air ambulance. Deputy commissioner Dr Vanessa Caldwell said at the time Mr B was neurologically stable and his transfer was scheduled for the next day. However, while waiting he collapsed and his heart stopped. He was then urgently transferred to another hospital, but his condition deteriorated and at the second hospital he was declared brain dead. Mr B's family told the commissioner they did not understand why he was not transferred by road when the air retrieval team was not available, and they did not understand why he was transferred to another hospital when his prognosis was poor. The transfer meant they did not have a chance to say goodbye to him before his death. The family also said they were asked if they would donate his organs only minutes after being told he was brain dead, which left them little time to consider their options. They were also told by a social worker it was up to them to organise transport of his body back to where they lived, even though he qualified for travel assistance. Health NZ apologised for the distress caused by the discussion related to organ donation and the miscommunication regarding transporting Mr B's body. Dr Caldwell said the care provided to the man was at an appropriate standard and decisions, such as the air transfer, were made appropriately based on the information available to the team at the time. Incorrect and minimal information was provided to the family once the man died and this had been particularly distressing for them, she said. She also had concerns about the communication between the air retrieval team and the teams treating Mr B. Health New Zealand breached the patient's right to information under the Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers' Rights, the commissioner said. A number of changes had been made since the young man's death, including the establishment of Health NZ, Dr Caldwell said. "I am also mindful that providing recommendations at this stage for errors that happened some time ago is likely to have limited practical benefit." She recommended Health NZ Southern and Health NZ Waitaha Canterbury provided a formal written apology for the breaches identified in the report within three weeks. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero , a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Sport
- Yahoo
Hall of Fame outfielder Dave Winfield giving back to St. Paul
One of the biggest names ever in Minnesota baseball still maintains his connection to his hometown of St. Paul, despite a career that took him all the way to Cooperstown. Mike Max shows how the Hall of Fame outfielder is still giving back.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
I spent my entire life running from my hometown. At 32, I moved back to save money, and I've never been happier.
I liked growing up in my small Maine hometown, but I always wanted to live somewhere else. At 32, I returned to my childhood home and worked remotely while figuring out my next chapter. I was surprised by how much I loved it — I've developed a new appreciation for the life I've lived. When I left my small Maine hometown for college at 17, I felt ecstatic. It was a good place to grow up, but I was ready to meet people who hadn't known me since I was in diapers, see new things, and move far away … permanently. So, when I decided to move back home a few months before my 33rd birthday, no one was more shocked than I was. I figured this would be a temporary phase — something I'd endure, a layover on my way to somewhere better. I certainly didn't expect to bloom in a place I'd once been so eager to leave. For most of my teens and 20s, I defined my success by how far I moved from home I went to college in Massachusetts and then spent my 20s moving around. I lived in Providence, Boston, Philadelphia, and then Boston again. Through it all, my Maine hometown was a place to visit for the holidays or crash between leases, but it was never home. When my second stint in Boston came to a natural end in my early 30s, I had the idea of moving back in with my parents and saving some money while I worked my corporate job remotely and figured out where I wanted to live next. Before I knew it, I was loading my stuff into storage and moving back to my childhood home. Growing up, the idea of moving back home and in with my parents felt like my personal nightmare and definition of failure. So, I was surprised when the shame and embarrassment I expected to feel never came. Instead, I loved spending quality time with my parents, now as adults on equal footing. After years of city life, I appreciated having a backyard and easy access to the ocean just a few miles away. I loved chatting with neighbors and seeing my childhood best friend more regularly. What I loved the most, though, was how it felt to hit successful milestones in the same place I swore I could never grow. I paid off my student loans in my living room and saw the northern lights from my backyard. I continued working remotely from the dining room table and traveled a ton. In spite of everything I had once believed, I wasn't just living — I was thriving. Returning to the place I grew up has brought up old memories and helped me appreciate the life I've lived When I come inside from clearing off cars and shoveling snow, I'm flooded with memories of kicking off my boots and racing upstairs for hot cocoa as a kid, cheeks flushed from hours spent playing in the snow. I go to the grocery store with my mom, following her around and chatting about everything and nothing, and have flashbacks to being 10 years old and doing the same. Relaxing on the deck, sun-drunk and hungry after a day of swimming, makes me feel 12 again. Pulling into the driveway after running an errand takes me back to being 16 and giddy that I could drive myself anywhere I wanted. I walk my dog past the mailbox that once delivered my college acceptance letters. Every version of me is here, and after years of running away from that, I've finally learned how beautiful it is. Returning to where I grew up has made me grateful that I spent nearly 18 years building my foundation here. I've been back home for a little over a year now, and I'm not sure if I'll stay here forever. I don't know that I'll ever get tired of exploring new places and trying out new homes. I do know one thing, though: The roots I once tried to dig up have stuck, and I'm grateful for where they are. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
Washington Post
24-07-2025
- General
- Washington Post
Ask Sahaj: Roommate reacts with ‘bafflement and confusion' every time I vent
Dear Sahaj: My roommate and I were close in high school, but we drifted apart in college. Since we started sharing a place, we have become closer again, but I am finding myself bothered by a dynamic that emerges over and over again whenever we talk. My friend will often ask how I am and invite me to share what's on my mind. I find that as long as we keep the conversation relatively superficial, or keep a positive spin on things, we can talk with little awkwardness. But as soon as I share something that isn't so positive, she will react with open bafflement and confusion. For example, last week she asked if I was still considering leaving my job as I had said before. I told her I was leaning toward leaving because my workplace culture was 'bro-y' (I work in tech), and I shared examples of inappropriate jokes I heard bosses make. She immediately reacted with a kind of bafflement: 'Oh, that's weird and toxic. I don't get why people would make jokes like that.' Then she changed the subject. The whole conversation left me feeling misunderstood and brushed off. It's a pattern that has also emerged whenever I talk about my (very dysfunctional) family. She asks a lot of follow-up questions but in a confused, rather than curious, tone. I end up overexplaining myself while she looks more confused. Then she will cap off the conversation with something like, 'That's odd/weird/problematic' and change the subject. What can I do to break this pattern? Should I have a conversation with her, or should I just stop talking about difficult subjects with her? On the one hand, I worry that she's reacting this way because I am overburdening her with my feelings or expecting her to be my therapist, and this is her way of setting a boundary because we live together and she doesn't want to have to caretake me 24/7. On the other, though, this pattern is leaving me frustrated and resentful, and I don't want to spend time resenting my roommate, either. — Confused Confused: Of course you're confused. Your friend is doing a whole emotional bait-and-switch where she invites conversation but then shuts it down when it goes somewhere she doesn't want. Something has to change; you can't keep opening up to her and expecting compassion, only to be disappointed when you're already feeling vulnerable. You have to decide if you are okay with sharing much less with her or talking to her about what you're experiencing. You can decide not to talk to your friend about her disappointing reactions and consciously stop sharing more deeply with her and redirect that energy elsewhere. You worry this is her boundary, but rather, it sounds more like a limit. She probably doesn't know how to hold discomfort or complexity without either fixing it, dismissing it or retreating. That's not inherently malicious, but it does make her an unreliable container for your more vulnerable truths. It will be hard and sad to let go of a version of a friendship you had hoped to have; let yourself grieve that. Or if you do feel motivated to talk to her and want to try to find a way to shift the dynamic, you can broach a conversation with her by saying something like, 'Hey, can I share something I've been sitting with? It's something I've noticed happening a few times when we talk, and I think naming it and talking to you about it might help me get some clarity.' Then something like: 'Sometimes when I share stuff that's a little heavier — like work stress or family stuff — I feel like it lands kind of awkwardly. I totally get that not every conversation needs to be deep, but I've left a few of those chats feeling a bit misunderstood or shut down. I wanted to check in because I value our friendship and want to make sure I'm not overstepping or asking for more than you want to hold.' This is grounded in your experience, uses 'I' language to be non-accusatory and is asking for her to share her side of things. The conversation will be clarifying for many reasons. Only after naming this and chatting with her about it will you gain clarity on whether she is overwhelmed and wants to set a boundary. Or you'll realize she is simply unaware and may not be the right person for certain kinds of conversation. You'll hopefully get an idea of how she interprets these conversations and recognize if there's anything you need to do differently. If she gets defensive or minimizes, that will give you useful information, too. You don't need to force closeness with someone who can't meet you there. If that happens, the best path may be to recalibrate your expectations by accepting that she may be a great roommate or surface-level friend, but she can't be your go-to for emotional processing. This will allow you to preserve the relationship — especially as you continue to live together — by not expecting it to be something it can't be. Finally, be compassionate with yourself as you navigate this. I hear you internalize your friend's behavior as something that is your fault. You can hold yourself accountable to what you can do differently, but don't take responsibility for how she is acting and responding to you. This only feeds your narrative that you are too much, when in fact, you just know what you need in friendships, and you're exploring who is capable of doing that with you.
