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I'm terrified my kinky fetish will turn off my hot new girlfriend – what if it makes her question my sexuality?
I'm terrified my kinky fetish will turn off my hot new girlfriend – what if it makes her question my sexuality?

The Sun

time3 days ago

  • Entertainment
  • The Sun

I'm terrified my kinky fetish will turn off my hot new girlfriend – what if it makes her question my sexuality?

I'LL never forget the biggest bedroom buzzkill I've ever experienced - and no, it's not what you're thinking. It wasn't bad breath, questionable hygiene or someone wearing socks in bed (though let's be honest, those are all heinous crimes against sex). This was something different. Something way, way worse. I was reminded of it recently when I read a letter from a reader asking how to introduce a new kink. It brought back a deeply scarring memory: the time an ex tried to spice things up by saying: 'Me and my ex used to love this.' Excuse me? Did he really just invoke the ghost of orgasms past? It gets better - he then pulled out a toy he'd used on her and suggested we use it, too. Look, I'm all for saving the planet, but if you want to save your sex life, recycling old toys is not the one. Yuck. If there's one way to kill the mood faster than a cold drought, it's bringing your ex (and her old vibrator) into the bedroom. I'm The Sun's Sexpert, and this week in my no-holds-barred sex series, I'm tackling a powerful question from a reader struggling to open up about his kinks to a new girlfriend. Q. I've recently started seeing a beautiful woman, and I'm really worried my love of anal play might scare her off. Like a lot of straight guys, I sometimes worry that admitting this might make her question my sexuality. Georgie answers your quickfire sex questions I'm not gay - I just really enjoy the sensations. In a previous relationship I used anal beads and absolutely loved them. How can I introduce them into our sex life without making things awkward? Georgie says: 'It's a shame there's still such a taboo around straight men enjoying anal play - especially when there's a biological reason it feels so good. In case you didn't know, men have a prostate gland (often called the male G-spot) located inside the anus. When stimulated, it can create incredibly intense orgasms. In recent years, the stigma has started to shift. The sex toy market for men has exploded, with more guys exploring vibrators, buzzing butt plugs, and yes - anal beads. Anal beads are a sex toy used during intercourse - either together or solo - to enhance your orgasm. That said, bringing this kind of play - or any new kink - into a new relationship can be daunting. Naturally, you can worry that opening up about your inner desires may put your new partner off, but it's important to be open about the things that turn you on. Here's how you do it… Positive communication 5 Create a safe space for you and your partner to talk. Don't do it when they're tired or stressed, do it when you're both in a good mood. Start with a relaxed, open conversation - ideally outside the bedroom. Ask them what their fantasises are first, this will open up the conversation and they will ask you back. You might say something like, 'I've explored anal play in the past and found it really enjoyable - I'd love to share that side of myself with you if you're ever open to trying it.' Start slowly If your partner is up for trying the kink you'd like you to, move slowly. Suggest using a toy on her first, which might lead to a natural exchange about mutual curiosity. Some couples find it hot to try toys on each other - and if she sees how much you're enjoying it, she might be turned on, too. Be open-minded Remember that kink is a broad spectrum. The definition is basically anything outside of 'traditional' sex - but what's considered kinky to one couple might be totally normal for another. What matters most is that you and your partner feel safe, excited, and respected in exploring whatever brings you pleasure. So don't be ashamed. Be curious, be communicative - and most of all, be honest. Use the traffic code system New positions, cheeky toys or wild fantasies can seriously crank up the heat in the bedroom. If you've got a few sexy scenarios rattling around in your head, jot them down and share them with your partner. Not sure how they'll react? Use the good old traffic light system. Green means 'let's do it!', amber is 'maybe, if I've had a glass of wine,' and red is 'not in this lifetime'. Meet our sexpert In her eight years at The Sun, there's not much our Georgie hasn't seen - or done - and she's loved every outrageous minute. "People often ask how I became a sexpert," she says. "Well, I've been fascinated by sex and relationships for as long as I can remember. "As a teen, I devoured women's mags full of scandalous confessions and steamy tips - and I was obsessed with Sex and the City. "Maybe I was manifesting my inner Carrie Bradshaw from day one. "I'd always dreamed of working at The Sun - and when I finally landed the job, I found my niche fast: going to sex parties and oversharing about my frequently chaotic love life. "Over the years, I've built real trust within the kink and swinging community and I've interviewed hundreds of people about their sex lives. "Add to that my own, um, 'field research,' and let's just say I know what makes good sex great." Georgie says being a sexpert is about having life experience, curiosity, a sense of humour - and plenty of adventures along the way. "There's not much that shocks me these days," she continues. "Except maybe a man who doesn't believe in foreplay. "But nothing makes me happier than hearing a reader say my advice helped them feel more confident (and satisfied) in bed. "Now I'll be answering your burning sex questions - and dishing out practical advice to help get you back in the saddle." Spruce up your top drawer What's that old saying? If it's within reach, you're more likely to use it — and no one ever got hot and bothered rummaging through a drawer full of granny socks. Ditch the dull cottons and make space for things that actually spark joy — like sexy lingerie and a few buzzing besties. And don't worry, gone are the days of sneaking into a shady adult shop in oversized sunglasses. You can now pick up a decent vibrator while grabbing a pint of milk - some supermarkets sell them for as little as £11. Check out the Durex Intense Delight Vibrating Bullet available at Sainsbury's. Show, don't tell 5 If you're introducing a new kink to your partner - and you're the seasoned pro while they're a total newbie - sometimes it's sexier (and smoother) to show, not tell. This keeps things playful, takes the pressure off them and helps ease you both in gently. Set the mood, start slow, and if you're bringing in a new toy or sex aid, demonstrate how it works. Think of it like a very hands-on tutorial… minus the PowerPoint. Crucially, never say 'me and my ex used to do this'. No one wants a mental image of your past sex life, so keep the conversation firmly in the present. By showing instead of explaining, you reduce the risk of awkward misunderstandings - and make the whole experience more exciting and inviting.

A thousand revellers descend on sleepy Lincolnshire village for Britain's biggest swingers' festival - featuring 'play' and 'kink' areas, hot tubs and foam parties
A thousand revellers descend on sleepy Lincolnshire village for Britain's biggest swingers' festival - featuring 'play' and 'kink' areas, hot tubs and foam parties

Daily Mail​

time18-07-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mail​

A thousand revellers descend on sleepy Lincolnshire village for Britain's biggest swingers' festival - featuring 'play' and 'kink' areas, hot tubs and foam parties

Around one thousand kinky revellers have descended on a sleepy Lincolnshire village for Britain's biggest swingers festival taking place this weekend. Dubbed Swingathon, the X-rated three-day extravaganza kicked off yesterday and is now in its fifth year of attracting sexually adventurous guests from across the UK. Set in the middle of sleepy farmland near Grantham, this year's edition promises more risqué fun than ever before. For £200 a single ticket – or £250 per couple – attendees are treated to a raunchy line-up of saucy entertainment, including mobile dungeons, pole dancing, BDSM equipment stalls, and steamy hot tubs. Among the more eyebrow-raising activities on offer are spanking paddles for sale, kinky workshops, lingerie boutiques, foam parties and a game of butt-plug bingo. There's also a strong presence of kink culture, with dedicated 'play tents' and a focus on everything from bondage to consensual non-monogamy. Stalls selling sex toys, whips, chains and other NSFW gear line the grounds, as well as giant words written on the ground saying 'kink', 'play' and 'love'. The event has previously attracted criticism from nearby residents who complained about 'loud moaning sounds' coming from the site. But it has since relocated to a larger, more rural location as numbers increased and organisers say they are committed to challenging the 'sleazy' stigma around the festival. Matthew Cole, who started Swingathon in 2020, says it is not exclusive to traditional swingers and it is more an 'adult alternative lifestyle event'. He said: 'Contrary to some beliefs, there are no keys in bowls, seedy music, lecherous individuals or a high level of STIs amongst this community. 'In fact, individuals within this community are respectful, conscientious, and more likely to practise safe sex or be regularly tested than the average person you might meet on a night out in a club. 'The team are passionate about normalising the sexual freedom that alternative lifestyles provide and continue to strive against prejudice and adversity to bring the community a safe and inclusive social, play and learning space.' The festival says it celebrates a broad range of adult alternative lifestyles, including LGBTQ+ identities, consensual non-monogamy, kink, and more. The event with also feature live music, DJs, workshops, demonstrations, stalls and games - all in a 'safe, inclusive space' which 'celebrates diversity.' Matt and his wife Stacie say they remain committed to challenging stigma and they have taken steps to ensure both safety and credibility. They claim attendees are vetted in advance and the event has a 'strong focus on consent and personal responsibility.' Matt added: 'Swingathon is not a sex party, but rather a gathering of open-minded individuals where friendships and relationships can begin or thrive. 'It aims to bring together a community with an inclusive positive experience, where friendships and relationships begin, rekindle and flourish through the embracement of uniqueness, regardless of the rumour mill.' However, some residents still oppose having the 'seedy' festival on their doorsteps and say it is not welcome in their quaint rural hamlet. One resident, who did not want to be named, said: 'We're becoming known as the swingers capital of England just because of this festival and that's not a title we want. 'Its mostly elderly people and families here so you can imagine them spitting their tea out when they learned we were to be the home of Swingathon. 'It's usually the talk of the village, some say let consenting adults do whatever they want to do, but I know many are not pleased they have chosen here for such activities. 'It's just a bit seedy and sleazy isn't it? Not for me I'm afraid.'

UK company launches swingers' sex cruise to four popular destinations – but there's a strict dress code
UK company launches swingers' sex cruise to four popular destinations – but there's a strict dress code

The Sun

time09-07-2025

  • Entertainment
  • The Sun

UK company launches swingers' sex cruise to four popular destinations – but there's a strict dress code

ADVENTUROUS swingers have been invited on a sex cruise to four popular destinations - but there's a strict dress code. The Killing Kittens brand has created an unbelievably kinky holiday opportunity for both singles and couples - are you ready to explore? 5 5 5 The UK based company holds spicy events for those looking to explore all their wildest sexual desires. Those who sign-up to the pleasure experience will travel to Barcelona Monte Carlo, Florence and Portofino. Naughty events on-board will range from a White Party to a mysterious masquerade ball. There's also a sensual Kreatures of the Night primal evening to heighten all senses, and a Dominion party where playmates can show off their latex outfits. Killing Kittens' most established experience, fittingly named Hedonism, will also be unfolding. There are more regular activities too such as cooking classes, wine and whiskey tastings, yoga and a running club. Meanwhile, those looking to delve deeper into enrichening their knowledge can partake in sex and relationship workshops. There are also light hearted sexual-themed quiz nights and couples speed dating. However, there are strict rules to follow should you venture onto the open sea with your fellow kink-positive guests. Killing Kittens has three primary values - privacy, confidentiality and discretion. Georgie answers your sex questions - Tips for tiny Peckers Discretion entails complete confidentiality, meaning ticket-holders can't revealed anyone's identity. You must also be honest about your relationships, both past and present. Another core rule is "no solo men in playrooms", to ensure the safety of women on the cruise. There are no single men allowed on board at all, only single women or women in partnerships are permitted. 5 5 Guests must also sign consent forms once they embark on the journey. Founder Emma Sayle told Metro: "Obviously it's consent, consent, consent, and everything is based on respect and being a decent human being." DRESS CODE Despite the open-minded and relaxed atmosphere, there's certain do's and don'ts when it comes to clothing. But, if you can't wrap your head around the rules, there are spaces on board where it's permitted to be completely naked. The guidelines come into force for events, where Emma warned: "You'll need to adhere to the dress code depending on the theme of the night. "The White party is self explanatory – it's all white; the masked ball is black tie and ball gowns with masks; kreatures of the night is woodland, goddesses, nymphs – a chance to play real dress up. "Hedonism is beach club wear in the day, and in the night Dominion is latex and leather." The cruise sets sail on June 9, 2026, and lasts for six sex-fuelled nights. Swingers interested in signing up will have to fork out at least £5,000. However, it's an all inclusive trip which means you won't have to shell out for any food or drink. This comes as we revealed some of the raciest places to travel around the world, including the many luxury resorts where clothes are always optional. Cap D'Agde, located in France, is the biggest nudist town in the world, where it's compulsory to bare it all on the beach - and it has been dubbed Naked City for this very reason. In the French town, which gets up to 50,000 tourists a day, you'll see everyone going about their business, walking around naked in the shops, having forked out £6 for a 'naked tax'. Elsewhere, The Naughty Cruise, which travelled from Los Angeles to Mexico, made waves when it promised four days of sex-fuelled parties for 2,000 revellers. Entertainment around the ship, which was organised by Couples Cruise in 2017, included everything from outrageous fancy dress parties - where guests were encouraged to dress as kinky as possible - to naked body paint, kinky sex instruments and nudity at all times. There was even a tantra centre where couples could learn about the art of sensual touch, as well as massage classes and "group sessions" which allowed more amorous couples to explore their boundaries and have fun with others. Another couples-only cruise where 'clothing is optional' is called Desire Cruise, which regularly sets sail from Venice, attracting a mix of 700 nudists, swingers and the curious. Guests can take part in tantric yoga, talks from sexologists and sex games. Plus, Hedonism Resort describes itself as the 'world's most iconic, clothing-optional, adult playground and the sexiest place on earth where you can be as mild or as wild as you like!' Located in Jamaica, the stunning resort is an all-inclusive paradise, where the drinks are flowing and guests 'can turn their fantasies into reality'. As well as the usual all-you-can-eat buffets and all-you-can-drink bars you'd find in an all-inclusive resort, Hedonism also has a playroom open 10pm to 3am. In here, couples, single women and invited single men will be greeted by a Playroom Hostess, and expected to participate, rather than watch. BACK ON TOP By Sam Blanchard, Health Correspondent KINKY sex relieves the pain of a bad back or arthritis, research suggests. Those with a taste for whips and handcuffs in the bedroom reported health benefits as well as sexual enjoyment in the study. Many said they experienced short-term relief from chronic pain after a session with a Miss Whiplash. It is said to be down to the simultaneous release of stress hormones in response to the pain and the feelgood hormone dopamine during a bondage session — known as BDSM. Researcher Reni Forer said: 'Many BDSM practitioners experience benefits beyond sexual pleasure. Given the overlap in brain circuitry involved, BDSM could unknowingly result in pain relief for people with chronic pain.' Up to half of us are believed to live with long-term aches and pains from conditions such as arthritis, fibromyalgia or long-term injuries. The study, from the University of Michigan in the US, involved 525 people into BDSM, short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. Four in ten of them also suffered from chronic pain, defined as lasting longer than three months. In the study, 35 per cent said they felt pain relief after a kinky romp. A similar proportion said it helped to increase their pain tolerance and their ability to talk about their condition or cope with it emotionally. Ms Forer said: 'Participation can also benefit other aspects of one's life, including trauma processing, decreased psychological distress and higher wellbeing.' A recent Australian study found nine out of ten back pain remedies were no good, with no proof there was any benefit from steroids, paracetamol, acupuncture, heat or massage.

My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed
My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed

The Guardian

time08-07-2025

  • General
  • The Guardian

My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed

I'm a woman in my early 30s, and after dating my male partner for seven months I've become frustrated by his vanilla and mundane sexual preferences. This makes me feel bad about myself, because he is perfect in all other ways. Not only are we intellectually compatible and share many interests, but he is also kind, caring and romantic. He makes sure I never leave for work without a healthy packed lunch and is full of fun ideas for our outings. He makes me feel safe and secure. I had an unstable childhood and am not on speaking terms with my father. With my boyfriend, I am able to open up about this. In the past, I dated difficult and unreliable men with whom I could nonetheless indulge in kinky sex, role-playing and other experimentation – and I always loved that part of the relationship. When I try to initiate this with him, he rejects it; he once said he finds it degrading to women. Sometimes I fantasise about having sex with more adventurous partners, but I can't stand the thought of losing such a wonderful partner with whom I can build a future. Endowing a partner with fatherly attributes is a fairly certain way to dampen eroticism. This process is often an unconscious one – as it undoubtedly is in your case – but when a relationship feels familial at some level, whether mother-child, brotherly, sisterly or fatherly, the deep-seated incest taboo renders sexual contact distasteful. Many relationships fall into such patterns, and this is particularly understandable when adults have emerged from unresolved traumatic childhood patterns such as longing for an unavailable parent, or being a survivor of familial abuse. The task of developing a relationship into a healthy, fully adult union is rarely easy, because people tend to gravitate towards what the 'child' part of them needs. Think carefully about the father-daughter dynamic within your relationship and, if you want to desire him, experiment with identifying and changing overly familial aspects that remind you of unrequited childhood needs. Make your own lunch. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed
My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed

The Guardian

time08-07-2025

  • General
  • The Guardian

My boyfriend is almost perfect – but he's too vanilla in bed

I'm a woman in my early 30s, and after dating my male partner for seven months I've become frustrated by his vanilla and mundane sexual preferences. This makes me feel bad about myself, because he is perfect in all other ways. Not only are we intellectually compatible and share many interests, but he is also kind, caring and romantic. He makes sure I never leave for work without a healthy packed lunch and is full of fun ideas for our outings. He makes me feel safe and secure. I had an unstable childhood and am not on speaking terms with my father. With my boyfriend, I am able to open up about this. In the past, I dated difficult and unreliable men with whom I could nonetheless indulge in kinky sex, role-playing and other experimentation – and I always loved that part of the relationship. When I try to initiate this with him, he rejects it; he once said he finds it degrading to women. Sometimes I fantasise about having sex with more adventurous partners, but I can't stand the thought of losing such a wonderful partner with whom I can build a future. Endowing a partner with fatherly attributes is a fairly certain way to dampen eroticism. This process is often an unconscious one – as it undoubtedly is in your case – but when a relationship feels familial at some level, whether mother-child, brotherly, sisterly or fatherly, the deep-seated incest taboo renders sexual contact distasteful. Many relationships fall into such patterns, and this is particularly understandable when adults have emerged from unresolved traumatic childhood patterns such as longing for an unavailable parent, or being a survivor of familial abuse. The task of developing a relationship into a healthy, fully adult union is rarely easy, because people tend to gravitate towards what the 'child' part of them needs. Think carefully about the father-daughter dynamic within your relationship and, if you want to desire him, experiment with identifying and changing overly familial aspects that remind you of unrequited childhood needs. Make your own lunch. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

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