3 days ago
Living with Bipolar Disorder as a High-Achieving Woman
When Bipolar Disorder Meets Ambition
Living with bipolar disorder isn't just about mood swings: It's about carrying an invisible weight that few people understand.
For high-achieving women like me, that weight becomes even heavier. We're expected to hold everything together – family, career, responsibilities – while quietly battling chaos inside our own minds.
The burnout that comes with bipolar disorder doesn't announce itself. It creeps in. One day you're pushing through your to-do list, the next you can't move from bed. It's not just exhaustion, it's emotional overload.
The Mental Load No One Sees
Living with bipolar disorder often feels like swimming in circles in the dark. You crave peace, but when a sliver of light finally appears, you don't trust it. You brace for the next crash. The fear of the unknown becomes just as heavy as the depression itself.
When the depressive episodes hit, so do the thoughts:
Why am I not like her?
What's wrong with me?
Did I cause this?
I remember wondering if I was being punished for running away from home, for becoming a teen mom, for talking back, for leaving in the middle of the night.
Burnout at Every Stage of Life
The emotional burnout was always present, but it peaked during life transitions:
When I became a teen mom
When I went back to school
After every child I had
When I lost my husband
When I tried dating again
Each season added more weight. I was living life on edge, constantly trying to avoid pain. But when it finally hit, it hit hard. And it kept me stuck.
Postpartum Depression and Family Silence
I didn't recognize postpartum depression at first. I just knew I couldn't enjoy my babies the way I wanted to. I felt detached, overwhelmed, and guilty. Years later, I realized my mom had likely experienced the same thing. It opened my eyes to how generational silence keeps us sick.
No one in my family knew I was struggling. They saw me tired, maybe reactive, but not in pain. I kept it inside. That silence cost me my peace.
What I Missed While I Was Surviving
Looking back, I see how much I missed:
Real joy in motherhood
Emotional connection in relationships
Moments of financial peace
True rest and presence
Smiles that weren't just a mask
The True Cost of Emotional Burnout
Bipolar disorder is unpredictable. The highs and lows create stress and anxiety about the future. You lose your most valuable resources: time, energy, clarity, even money. And when you're stuck in that cycle, you miss the life happening right in front of you.
I didn't know how to feel peace. I didn't know how to be present. I didn't know how to listen to my own voice, my intuition, my feelings.
But I do now, and I support other women by helping them master their emotions, overcome burnout, and finally feel the peace and progress they've been chasing.
