2 days ago
These 21 People Were Lost At 35, But Here's How They Found Purpose (And Built A Whole New Life)
Reddit user Sudden_Tree3904 asked the community, "People who completely turned their life around after 35, what made the biggest difference?"
Folks didn't hold anything back and shared how small actions made huge impacts. They proved that it's never too late to make things better and live your best life.
So, here are some things people realized later in life that made everything 100x better:
Related:
1."I realized I needed to end my marriage around 35. I finally got divorced and accepted that my bad marriage wasn't a fluke. I was repeating a pattern from my family of origin and needed to completely reevaluate my relationship with myself and everyone else in my life. I dumped a lot of toxic friends and family members, went to a lot of therapy and focused on self-help, learned about attachment types and codependency, and personal boundaries. Then at 40 I met the love of my life and four years later we're living our best Brady Bunch life with our kids and cats."
—u/triflers_need_not
2."I started my own business. It was hard — really hard. I kinda leveraged my marriage a bit to do it. But, I went from an unemployed father who did housework and cooked dinners while taking care of the kids to a self-employed father who does housework and cooks dinner while taking care of the kids with an income."
—u/UnluckyInformation51
3."I came to the conclusion that no matter what you do in life, you'll enjoy it more if you get proper sleep, exercise, and eat well, then actually implement good habits. Different people will enjoy different jobs, activities, and partners, but for 99.9% of people, being rested, fit, and healthfully nourished will give them a clear head. It'll also give you the energy to get done whatever you want to do."
—u/Fezzik__
4."Being realistic with things I actually need (which is nothing) to function day to day. Cutting away all the rest, forming a proper budget, and sticking to it. So many people tell themselves they 'need' things and have literally never experienced life without those things. But the thing is, you can't tell this to people, or they get all huffy and insist that they absolutely need it or they can't get through life. It'll take an experience like losing everything (which they'll never go through) in order to understand what I'm saying. You can survive out of a bag with one change of clothes — just work up from there."
—u/LargeSnorlax
5."I realized how much I was holding myself back mentally and career-wise by drinking and smoking weed on a daily basis. I used to think that after a few beers and smokes, I was in my happy place, but I realized that if you're in your happy place all the time, it's not that happy a place. I haven't completely turned my life around, but it's going in the right direction. I still enjoy a beer and smoke on Saturday nights, but I have a better job and I'm mentally in a better place. I don't know how I lived like that for so long."
—u/Wide_Ad4331
6."Everything isn't about money. Focusing on time, friends, contentment, work-life balance, and just life overall is more important."
—u/Wooshsplash
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7."I realized no one's coming to save me. Once I stopped waiting for a sign and treated rock bottom like a trampoline instead of a grave, everything changed."
—u/KittyGodess99
8."Going back to school to gain a career. Not that I didn't do well prior — I was in construction. But, having a career and not a job was definitely an empowering moment for me and changed my life completely."
—u/enek101
9."I left my country behind and started a new life in Spain at 35. It's been 10 years. I miss my family, but for the rest, my life's been a total success since then 🙂."
—u/optiloxy
10."Being very cautious about who you let into your life, and also learning how to utilize boundaries. A lot of people can take your kindness for granted."
—u/Chineysphoto
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11."I stopped playing video games. I recognized that it was sort of a black hole for time, and I used it to escape a lot. It's important to note that it's not the case for everyone, but for me, I have no self-control over it. Seven years later, I just finished my master's in engineering. Life is great, I became a better person, I work out a lot, and I have a good job!"
—u/96-09kg
12."Leaving teaching was the best decision I ever made. What a horrendous, abusive, flaming dumpster fire of a field teaching is. I started working a job that has now become my new passion, with a fraction of the stress and 10x more fulfillment. Consequently, my mental health has skyrocketed, and I have quit drinking."
—u/eyelinerfordays
13."This may or may not be a very specific catalyst (or multiple) for each individual. The important thing is that you have someone (friends, family, or a therapist) who helps you objectively identify what is holding you back, and then holds you accountable for changing that."
—u/JohnnySack45
14."Leaving my ex. I didn't realize that she was such an anchor to anything I wanted to do until I looked back after two years of being separated. After leaving, I went back to school twice, started a new trade, and started to work myself out of debt. I also started eating healthier and exercising. All around, I'm a lot happier."
—u/MasterSupermarket689
15."I completely turned my life around at around 35. For me, the first thing was getting a dog (I know it's not for everyone). But, learning to be responsible for another life was the catalyst to changing my life. The second thing was meeting a mentor who saw something in me and took a chance on me. It changed my life."
—u/JustinMccloud
16."I got sober. I realized what was important to me had changed, and discussed it with my partner. I burned out from being a perennial people pleaser and went to therapy to start taking care of myself. We had tough conversations about priorities and division of labor. I focused on diet, nutrition, exercise, and sleep. I went from ideating I'm doing okay now. I'm still not sure what the next steps are, but I know what they aren't."
—u/dbpcut
Related:
17."Taking medication. If you're over 35 and are still dealing with depression, anxiety, or PTSD, you're probably not going to 'outgrow it' or 'beat it.' But it can be managed well and completely change your life around. It definitely did for me."
—u/North_Champion6237
18."I started taking full responsibility for the things I did that were objectively wrong. I started looking for the things that I had done to people and reaching out to genuinely apologize to them. Taking initiative as opposed to apologizing because someone caught you doing something wrong."
—u/AutisticAndIKnowIt
19."I started running and training consistently. Now at 46, I reap the benefits of better health and always having sport as a stress reliever and for maintaining structure and discipline in my life."
—u/BernardoSan
20."The sudden realization that 'half of your life is already over.' This isn't a horror story, but a catalyst. A person understands: 'What if everything stays this way? Am I okay with that?' This moment often triggers something like a career change, divorce, or relocation."
—u/krissty11
finally, "I'm almost across the line — I was mentally stuck. I thought I was okay with what I had, but all I was doing was running away. I was afraid of failure and rejection. My brain was doing everything in its power to distract myself and not put in the effort so that I could avoid suffering. I always had the power to change, but I was holding myself back. I had no motivation. All the consequences and regrets had finally reached me, and what finally broke me was losing that special lady. She was giving me her love, and I pushed her away, and then it was too late."
"I needed to reevaluate myself and remain mentally strong. Creating healthy repetitive patterns, forcing myself to do things that are necessary, enjoying hobbies, and talking to people for support are the main things I have done. Just cleaning my desk started it all for better habits.
There is still a lot of work to do, but I know I'm not sinking anymore."
—u/gxzeta
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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