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Yahoo
6 hours ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
We moved from Chicago to Ohio after getting pregnant. We moved back a year later.
We moved from Chicago to Ohio because we thought that was the natural order of life. You go from the city to the suburbs to raise your family and live happily ever after. However, in making this decision, we'd ignored what made us happy and ended up returning to Chicago. We thought we were doing the right thing when we left Chicago for a small town in Ohio. I was pregnant with our first child, and Ohio offered more space, a lower cost of living, and most importantly, being closer to family. What I hadn't accounted for, though, was how deeply I'd miss our support system, our city life, and the community that helped me feel grounded in a season of so much personal change. We didn't last long in Ohio. I hated Chicago at first To be frank, Chicago was never part of my life plan. However, after two years of long-distance dating, I moved from my hometown in Maryland to Chicago in the summer of 2013 for a new job and to be closer to my now-husband, Jeff. At first, I hated Chicago because I missed home, my family and friends, crab cakes, and getting peanuts from Lexington Market before Orioles games. A year later, however, Jeff and I got married and, to my surprise, I'd fallen in love with the city. Through various networking events, I'd found a group of like-minded, ambitious millennial women. Plus, there was no shortage of date nights—a Black futurism-inspired event at the city's planetarium; Adult Nights' Out at Lincoln Park Zoo; and, of course, gallivanting from festival to festival in the summer. Then the time came for us to consider having kids. We moved to Ohio because we thought it was the right thing to do Without either of our families nearby, we just assumed we'd need to move closer to either Ohio, where Jeff was from, or Maryland once we started our own family. After all, we figured this was the natural order of life—go from the city to the 'burbs to raise your family and live happily ever after. Two egg retrievals and four embryo transfers later, we finally got pregnant in February 2021, which kicked our plan to move to Ohio into high gear. That May, we visited to scope out some Columbus neighborhoods. I was starting to have some second thoughts about moving, especially given the political climate at the time, but figured it was too late to say anything. All of the wheels were already in motion: our Chicago condo was going on the market, and contracts had been signed. The day we packed up the U-Haul and started toward Ohio, I could feel the regret creeping up, but there was no going back. We moved in with my in-laws We moved into my in-laws' house in Northeast Ohio while we searched for a home in Columbus. When we first arrived, we hit the ground running, making the hourlong trek from his parents' house to Columbus every weekend for open houses and showings. Columbus seemed more suburban than I'd initially expected. While living in Chicago, I'd grown accustomed to the city's walkability. However, the more walkable neighborhoods near Columbus, such as Westerville and Worthington, were out of our price range, and each showing left me feeling more jaded than the last. With a rapidly approaching C-section scheduled for mid-October, we made the difficult decision to halt our home search after Labor Day. It wasn't what I'd envisioned: bringing our newborn to my husband's childhood home. Yet, there we were. I regretted moving to Ohio Afterward, I would come to refer to this season of my life as a three-layer depression cake: Depression over leaving Chicago. Prenatal depression, which would eventually segue into postpartum depression. Seasonal depression as the autumn days turned into winter, and Northeast Ohio seemed to be under a permanent overcast sky. Thankfully, Jeff had four months of parental leave, but once that time was up, he had to commute to Columbus three days a week. I felt trapped. The sidewalks in my in-laws' neighborhood were limited, so taking the baby for a walk longer than 10 minutes was out of the question. We only had one car, so I couldn't drive to a park when my husband was working in the office, and I felt anxious about driving anywhere alone with the new baby anyway. I was sleep-deprived, could barely distinguish one day from the next, and no longer felt like myself. Once, during a 2 a.m. feeding session, I seriously considered getting in the car and driving to either Maryland or Chicago after I placed the baby back in her bassinet. (I didn't go through with it.) After about five months of living in Ohio and several arguments later, I finally admitted to Jeff that I had regretted moving and put the prospect of returning to Chicago on the table. He agreed, and in March 2022, we packed our things and returned to the city. Chicago is where we belong for now We found a condo in Evanston, just north of our old neighborhood of Rogers Park. Because we were already familiar with the area, we knew it was a good place to raise a family. It offered the best of both worlds—big city amenities with a small town vibe and proximity to downtown Chicago. I could finally take the baby for walks around the neighborhood (yay, sidewalks) and we were within walking distance to several coffee shops and yoga studios. Would I have undergone prenatal or postpartum depression if we'd stayed in Chicago? Who's to say for sure? We've also contemplated if we'd need to move closer to family once we have another kid. That said, I'm done plotting out five-year plans and putting the cart before the proverbial horse. For the time being, we're happy here in Evanston. Not only are we back with the friends we'd made before, but now we've managed to build community with other young Black families. Only time will tell where life leads us, but if we end up settling down here in Evanston, I'm absolutely fine with that. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
Irish Times
03-07-2025
- Business
- Irish Times
Minding your business and your baby: is being your own boss the answer for working mums?
Women who start their own businesses say freedom, better work-life balance and autonomy are the main reasons they take the plunge into self-employment. Despite its glamorous reputation, entrepreneurship is a high-risk gamble financially, personally, emotionally and physically. The start-up stages are marked by uncertainty; there are long hours, unpredictable income and no guarantee of success. There's also nagging self-doubt as you wonder if anyone will like your idea or spend money on your product or service. Even so, women in Ireland today are more likely to start their own business than in previous generations. Around 29 per cent of Gen Z women (age 18 to 27) called themselves an entrepreneur, according to research from Mastercard earlier this year. Among millennial women (age 28 to 43) this drops to 24 per cent, and just 17 per cent for women in Gen X (aged 44 to 59). Approximately 21,000 people were surveyed within Europe , including 1,000 in Ireland. Unfortunately, barriers still exist for those women hoping to become entrepreneurs. Of those surveyed, 31 per cent of women named a lack of confidence as a reason for not starting their own business, compared with 20 per cent of men. READ MORE Childcare was also identified as a challenge, with 14 per cent of women business owners saying managing childcare arrangements was a barrier to starting their business, compared with just 3 per cent of their male counterparts. [ The motherhood penalty: 'Once they're in bed, you log back on at 9pm or 10pm and work' Opens in new window ] Like children, new businesses require huge amounts of time, focus and funding. So, is it possible to mind your business and the baby? This week we spoke with two successful women who, despite the challenges, have been growing their business along with their families. Skin in the game Consultant dermatologists Caitriona Ryan and Nicola Ralph founded the Institute of Dermatologists in July 2019. At the time, Ralph's child was six; Ryan gave birth to her first child two weeks after they opened and the second 14 months later. Ryan also has five stepchildren. Today, the pair have doubled the size of the original clinic and they have 13 consultant dermatologists and 24 staff. They've also recently launched two additional businesses: ID Formulas, a dermatologist-developed longevity supplement brand, and Surgical Institute Dublin, a specialist centre for skin cancer surgery. They're projecting 40 per cent year-on-year growth over the next three years. Although growth was always part of the plan, Ryan and Ralph self-funded the venture so they don't have any loans from banks, investors or gifts from their parents. The equity is all theirs. They'll be taking out their first bank loan (€2 million) soon to fund the surgical institute. Funding is a big challenge for most entrepreneurs but it's much harder for women to obtain. When women entrepreneurs seek out venture capital funding they receive less than 2 per cent of all investment capital globally. The number of female-led companies funded, and the amounts raised, in the State have not budged by much since 2017. In 2024, women-led start-ups raised €145 million across 48 companies, according to TechIreland. From 2017 to 2023 only 10 additional female-founded companies received investment. The average funding in 2023 was €1.2 million which is the same as 2017. [ Ireland ranks third in Europe for investment in women-led start-ups Opens in new window ] Women also only seem to be taken seriously in certain sectors. The life sciences and the health-tech sector made up nearly 90 per cent of the total funding these start-ups received, a funding pattern that mirrors the overall European trend. Among venture capitalists and investors, there's an erroneous belief that women entrepreneurs lack ambition or the grit to build and scale a successful business. This even shows in the types of questions they ask potential female v male entrepreneurs during pitch presentations. A TechCrunch Disrupt New York study in 2023 found that 67 per cent of the questions asked of male entrepreneurs focused on positive things such as growth plans, monetisation and milestones – for example: 'How do you plan to make money with your business?' In contrast, 66 per cent of the questions for women entrepreneurs were more cautious, even negative. They often concerned risk management and projected time to break even. For example, the 'How long will it take for your business to become profitable?' question attempts to gauge attitude to risk and understanding of financial sustainability instead of focusing on growth and progression. Growing ambition Ralph believes we need to normalise ambition in parents, especially mothers. 'That means backing founders and leaders with families, not in spite of their parenting roles but because of the resilience, focus and empathy those roles foster. In venture capital, that would look like more flexible funding structures, female-led investment teams and a conscious shift away from bias around founder availability or assumptions about commitment.' Ryan says: 'Women shouldn't feel they have to suppress ambition to be good mothers. In fact, ambition can model strength, independence and vision for our children. I think women are often made to feel they must choose between career and family, but we shouldn't have to. With the right support, it's possible to do both meaningfully.' Ryan has a full-time nanny and her stepchildren and partner are very involved too. Ralph's parents have looked after her child from the start so she's rarely had to worry about childcare. Then and now, family life and the business have grown in tandem. 'The flexibility of entrepreneurship means I can be there for Friday pick-ups, the Christmas play and other events when it matters. Yes, it's hard work, but it's work I'm deeply passionate about, and I wouldn't change anything about my life' says Ryan. Ralph says the ability to structure their days has been helpful. 'Some days are completely clinic-focused or spent in theatre, others revolve around our children's needs – but having each other as co-founders and mothers means we understand those shifts without judgment.' The culture in medicine still leans heavily toward the idea that complete personal sacrifice is a badge of honour. I'd push for training environments that promote balance, not burnout — Dr Nicola Ralph Although the dermatological duo have managed to overcome most of the barriers placed in their way, they think a conscious effort needs to be made to make entrepreneurship more easily accessible for parents. Ryan thinks childcare should be tax-deductible or subsidised, as it remains one of the greatest barriers for parents, especially mothers, returning to work. More comprehensive parental leave support for self-employed parents is also essential, as they're often excluded from traditional entitlements, she says. [ Childcare in Ireland: 'Even as well-paid professionals, it was an exhausting struggle. The numbers never added up' Opens in new window ] 'From a government policy perspective I'd start with more accessible, affordable, and high-quality childcare,' says Ralph. 'I've been blessed to have my parents take care of my daughter for the last 12 years but I think access to childcare is the single biggest factor that limits working parents participation and progression. 'Schools could do more to align with modern working life, such as offering longer hours, better after school programmes and more holiday support would ease pressure enormously. Often parents are struggling with camp after camp during the summer months due to lack of childcare. 'The culture in medicine still leans heavily toward the idea that complete personal sacrifice is a badge of honour. I'd push for training environments that promote balance, not burnout, including proper mentorship for doctors who want to combine family life with ambitious careers. Flexibility, job sharing and protected parental leave shouldn't feel like compromises, they should be part of a well-designed system.' Margaret E Ward is chief executive of Clear Eye, a leadership consultancy. margaret@
