Latest news with #mindfulness
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
It's Time To Stop Saying These 6 Phrases To Your Grandkids. Here's Why.
As grandparents, you want all of your relatives to feel happy, loved and connected in your company. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Sometimes, unintentional or even well-meaning comments from grandma and grandpa can 'create an environment where grandkids feel uncomfortable or insecure,' Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and president of A New Day Pediatric Psychology in San Antonio, told HuffPost. That's why it's important to be more mindful about how we communicate with our grandkids. 'It can be hard to change the way you say things but it's important to be intentional with your words, and be aware of how much words can impact the way your grandkids think and feel about themselves and their relationship with you,' Lockhart said. We asked Lockhart and other experts which common phrases are best avoided and what to say instead. One note before we dive in though: If you've used any of the below phrases before — or happen to slip up in the future — try not to worry too much or beat yourself up over it. 'It's never too late to start being more mindful of how you approach interactions with your grandchildren,' said Andrea Dorn, a psychotherapist and author of the 'Mindful Steps' children's book series. Maybe it's sneaking your grandkids an extra Christmas cookie (or two) behind their parents' back, or letting them stay up past their bedtime and whispering, 'It'll be our little secret.' Any time you're encouraging your grandkids to keep something from their parents it can be harmful, Atlanta clinical psychologist Zainab Delawalla told HuffPost. 'It undercuts parental authority, which can have long-standing consequences,' she said. 'Furthermore, it models for kids that they might find themselves in situations where it's in their 'best interest' not to tell their parents. This can be especially dangerous if a child is being groomed by a predator or feels bad about themselves for getting bullied.' Instead, you want to reinforce the importance of being honest with their parents — no matter what. 'Grandparents can find other ways of doting on their grandchildren without crossing the boundaries their parents have put in place,' Delawalla said. Comments about a child's body or weight are a 'huge no,' Lockhart said, as they can contribute to body image and self-esteem issues. 'As responsible adults, it's our duty to support and encourage children to be confident in their own skin,' she said. 'Let's avoid making any comments that could potentially harm their self-worth and lead to insecurity. I hear about it constantly in my practice from young children through adults. Harsh comments from grandparents like this are remembered and replayed over and over again.' Dorn also told HuffPost that any remarks or comparisons about physical appearance can be problematic. This includes things like: 'Have you lost weight?' or 'Wow, you're so much taller than your brother now!' 'The issue with comments about physical appearance or comparisons to others is that they place an increased focus on the importance of external features over internal traits,' she said. Instead, she suggested saying something like: 'It's wonderful to see you again! I've missed spending time with you. How have you been?' Open-ended questions about your grandkids' current interests, activities or hobbies are great, too. 'Being genuinely interested in who kids are on the inside helps them to feel seen and heard, and sends the message that each person can be valued just as they are right now and that people are more than just how they look or what they wear,' Dorn said. Any comments about your grandkids' food intake — 'You eat so fast,' 'You're a member of the clean plate club,' 'Looks like you haven't touched a thing on your plate' — are best kept to yourself. 'Learning about food and hunger cues is an important developmental step in childhood,' Dorn said. 'Comments about 'good' and 'bad' eating habits can influence children to adjust their eating behavior in reaction to another person's comments or perspective, rather than following the signals their body is sending them. It may also trigger feelings of shame or confusion in the moment or over time.' It's really not necessary to comment on your grandkid's plate or their eating habits. But if you're going to say something, Dorn recommended focusing on the importance of listening to one's body. 'You can also model this practice by listening to your own body, and stopping when you feel full and eating when you feel hungry,' she said. 'Modeling good eating habits is more important than any comments we can make.' The overstimulation and lack of routine around the holidays has a way of bringing out big emotions and difficult behavior in kids. When you see your grandchild acting ungratefully while opening a mountain of presents or throwing a fit because they didn't get their way, you might be inclined to make a comment about how spoiled they are. But before you do, consider this — kids acting out this time of year is quite common and normal. If this kind of behavior is happening pretty consistently, it probably has less to do with the kid and more to do with the way they've been parented. As Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist from Pasadena, California, told HuffPost: 'If they are acting entitled and ungrateful, this may be a behavior they learned or saw modeled for them, maybe even something that was reinforced by their parents. So giving them all the blame isn't fair. Suck it up or talk with the parents, but keep the judgment to yourself.' As a grandparent, it's natural to want to connect with your grandchildren in this way, especially when you're so excited to see them. However, many kids may not feel comfortable giving hugs and kisses on demand, and it's important for the adults in their lives to respect this. 'While this phrase is likely filled with love and a completely normal desire to foster closeness and connection with a child, it can also unintentionally take away a child's right to autonomy and pressure them to abandon and second-guess their body boundaries,' Dorn said. 'This can send confusing messages about consent.' In order to respect your grandkids' boundaries, you could instead phrase this as a question: 'I'd love to give you a hug. Is that OK?' But if they say 'no,' accept their answer and move on. 'Make sure not to push further or use guilt with a comment like, 'Please, just one? I'm your grandma/grandpa!'' Dorn said. 'A helpful thing to do instead is keep the mood light and say something like, 'OK! I love you so much and can't wait to hear all about what you've been up to.'' You can also suggest other ways to connect like waving hello or goodbye, or giving a fist bump or a high five. 'Kids often feel like they don't have a lot of self-determination, so it can be a powerful message to send that important grown-ups in their life will respect their body boundaries no matter what,' Dorn said. 'This approach also reinforces the idea that physical affection is a personal choice, promoting a healthy understanding of boundaries and consent in other areas of their life.' Parenting styles and best practices change over time. You may have raised your children in a different way than your adult children are now raising their own kids. 'Of course, grandparents grew up in a different era with different customs and norms, and it's natural to want to comment on the differences,' Howes said. 'There's nothing inherently wrong with pointing out these distinctions, but it's very easy for those comments to come across as shaming. By shaming, I mean declaring that one way was right and another is wrong, and that there is something wrong with the grandchild or their parents.' Generally speaking, it's best to keep those comments to yourself unless you see 'significant blindspots or areas that could potentially be harmful for the child,' Howes said. 'Even then, it's best to take concerns to the parents instead of the grandchild.' Sharing these kinds of judgments or negative comments about your adult child's parenting choices with your grandkids is not a good idea, he said. 'If grandparents have a beef with how their child is parenting, they should bring it up to them or keep it to themselves, but leave the grandchildren out of it,' Howes said. 7 Signs You've Raised A Spoiled Child (And What To Do About It) Want A Better Relationship With Your Adult Children? Do These 6 Things Forget 'Grandma' And 'Grandpa' — These Are The Most Popular Names Kids Call Grandparents
Irish Times
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Irish Times
Win two VIP tickets to The Yoga Picnic and a luxury getaway to Wineport Lodge.
The Yoga Picnic is a one-day yoga and wellbeing festival held on the banks of Lough Ennell, Co. Westmeath. Set in the stunning grounds of Lilliput House, this is not just a yoga festival—it's a full-blown day of connection, nature, movement, music, and deep exhalation. Founded by Mary Gardner, Alice Harrison, and Katy Harrison, the festival brings together some of the world's leading yoga teachers, wellness experts, and holistic practitioners. The Yoga Picnic was created to support Ireland's yoga and wellness community while promoting sustainability, mental health awareness, and mindful living. The festival provides a space where people of all levels can practice, learn, and connect. The event is rooted in the belief that yoga is for everyone. Whether you are experienced or just starting out, The Yoga Picnic is a chance to slow down, move, and take part in something meaningful. Summer is the perfect time to leave the stress of everyday life behind and treat yourself to a relaxing getaway. The Wineport Lodge is a stunning location, where lakeside luxury meets summer staycation perfection. With a history dating back to St. Ciaran's monastery, Wineport Lodge offers stunning views of Lough Ree and a warm, personal touch that makes every stay special. Whether it's relaxing by the lake or enjoying the spa, it's the ideal place to unwind and recharge. More home than hotel, Wineport Lodge is a luxury retreat where cosiness and comfort are at the heart of every stay. With just 34 individually styled rooms and suites, Wineport offers an intimate and restful escape. Savour seasonal, locally inspired cuisine in the award-winning restaurant, unwind in the lakeside Cedarwood Spa, or enjoy a unique stay aboard Full Circle, the hotel's permanently moored cruiser. Whether you visit to relax, indulge, or explore, Wineport Lodge is your perfect lakeside haven. For your chance to win, simply fill in the form below. Good luck! Terms & Condition The promotion is open to residents of Ireland aged 18 years or over except employees of the Promoter, their families, agents or anyone professionally connected with the promotion. A valid entry consists of a correct answer entered in the form above, accompanied by the entrant's name, email address and a phone number. No applications from agents, third parties, organised groups or applications automatically generated by computer will be accepted. No incomplete, illegible, or corrupted entries will be accepted. No entries not in accordance with the entry instructions will be accepted. The Promotion will run from 27/06/2025 to midnight on 02/07/2025 inclusive. All entries must be received by the Promotor by no later than midnight on the Closing Date. All competition entries received after the Closing Date are automatically disqualified. Promotion limited to one entry per person. No entrant will win more than one prize. By submitting an entry to the Promotor, you are agreeing to be bound by these terms and conditions. It is the responsibility of You, the entrant, to provide correct, up-to-date details when entering the promotion and on acceptance of the prize. The Promoter cannot be held responsible for winners failing to supply accurate information which affects prize acceptance or delivery of their prize Responsibility will not be accepted for entries lost, damaged, delayed or prevented as a result of any event beyond the Promoter's control including, but not limited to, user error and any network, computer, hardware or software failures of any kind.. Proof of sending is not proof of receipt. Entries will become the property of the Promoter. The prize is a one night bed and breakfast in Wineport Lodge on July 4th, 2025 and two VIP tickets to The Yoga Picnic on Saturday July 5th, 2025. The prize includes spa passes at The Yoga Picnic, stand up paddle board passes, cacao ceremony tickets, and exclusive 'The Yoga Picnic' merchandise. There will be one winner. All prizes will be subject to any additional terms and conditions of the supplier of the prize to the Promoter. This prize must be used on the dates specified and cannot be refunded or redeemed for cash. The Promoter shall not be liable for any loss, including, without limitation, indirect, special or consequential loss, or loss of profits, damage or consequential damage of any nature in contract, tort (including negligence) or otherwise caused by the acceptance of the terms and conditions or in connection with the prize, save for any liability which cannot be excluded by law. In the event of unforeseen circumstances the Promoter reserves the right to substitute the prize for an alternative of equal or greater value. The winners will be notified by email. The winner must claim the prize within 30 days of the notification. If the prize is unclaimed after this time, it will lapse and the Promoter reserves the right to offer the unclaimed prize to a substitute winner selected in accordance with the Promotion rules. Where a winner has successfully claimed the prize, the Promoter shall dispatch, or arrange to dispatch, the prize to the winner at the earliest opportunity. Nothing in these Terms and Conditions shall be interpreted as placing an obligation on the Promoter to dispatch, or arrange to dispatch, the prize within a specified period of time. The Promoters' decision is final and binding in all matters and no correspondence will be entered into. The winners' details (name and county) will be made available on The Irish Times website. The winner may be required to participate in unpaid publicity arising from this promotion. The Promotor will only process your personal information as set out in and as set out in these terms and conditions. Prizes are non transferrable and cannot be exchanged for cash. These terms and conditions shall be governed by Irish law and the Courts of the Republic of Ireland shall have exclusive jurisdiction. Promoter and Data Controller: The Irish Times DAC, The Irish Times Building, P.O. Box 74, 24 - 28 Tara Street, Dublin 2. The Promoter reserves the right to hold void, suspend, cancel or amend the Promotion where it becomes necessary to do so.
Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
15 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself If You Want to Be Happy
It's tempting to cling to comforting illusions about ourselves and the world around us—narratives that soothe us in the moment but ultimately keep us stuck. We tell ourselves these lies to avoid the discomfort of change, to protect our egos, or simply because it's easier than confronting the truth. But if your goal is genuine happiness, these self-deceptions have to go. Here are 15 lies you need to stop telling yourself to clear the way for real joy. Ah, the elusive "when"—the cornerstone of future happiness. You might believe that a promotion, a relationship, or a new apartment will finally bring you contentment. But pinning your happiness on external milestones is a trap that postpones joy indefinitely. According to Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at UC Riverside, sustainable happiness comes from intentional activities, not circumstances, which account for only about 10% of our happiness levels. Real joy is rooted in the present, found not in things but in moments. When you place your happiness on something yet to come, you make it conditional. You build expectations that, when unmet, lead to disappointment. Instead, focus on the now and savor small, everyday victories—these are life's true treasures. The myth of the modern multitasker is alive and well, but it's not as glamorous as it seems. Telling yourself you can juggle everything without dropping a ball is a recipe for burnout. You might feel invincible right up until the stress mounts and things start unraveling. The key is recognizing your limits and prioritizing what truly matters. Saying no is not a sign of weakness; it's an assertion of self-care. You're not required to wear every hat or fulfill every role. Delegate, defer, and delete tasks that don't serve your core goals. In doing so, you'll find more space for what genuinely fulfills you. Settling for less than you deserve often stems from a deep-seated belief in your own inadequacy. It's easy to convince yourself that you're asking for too much when, in reality, you're just yearning for a life that aligns with your true value. According to Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, embracing your worthiness is crucial for living a fulfilled life. Acknowledging your right to more isn't about greed; it's about honoring your potential. When you stop selling yourself short, you open the door to opportunities that match your authentic self. It's not just about wanting more; it's about realizing that you are enough and worthy of all the good that life has to offer. The pursuit of perfection is a never-ending race on a treadmill of self-doubt. Perfectionism masquerades as a noble quest for excellence but often leads to paralysis by analysis. You may find yourself stuck in a loop, afraid to take action lest it be anything less than flawless. This constant pressure can erode your self-esteem over time. True excellence comes from progress, not perfection. Embrace the beauty of imperfections and the lessons they offer; they're often where the real magic happens. Allow yourself the grace to make mistakes and grow from them. Remember, it's the imperfections that make us human and relatable. Time is the ultimate scapegoat, the universal excuse for not pursuing passions or self-care. Yet, if you dig a little deeper, "I don't have time" often translates to "it's not a priority right now." Research from Laura Vanderkam, author and time management expert, suggests that we make time for what truly matters to us, revealing our true priorities. The key is to audit how you spend your hours and align them with your values. Prioritize tasks based on their importance and urgency rather than their immediacy. When you reclaim control over your time, you'll find it's a more abundant resource than you initially imagined. The illusion of social media perfection has us all fooled to some extent. Seeing curated snapshots of others' lives can create the false narrative that everyone else is nailing it while you're floundering. This perception—rooted in comparison—leaves you feeling inadequate and perpetually behind. In reality, everyone has struggles, doubts, and bad days. You're only seeing the highlight reel, not the struggles behind the scenes. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your unique journey. Embrace your path and recognize that nobody truly has it all figured out. The desire to mold someone into a better version of themselves often stems from a place of love or a need for control. However, expecting someone to change for you is a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature. According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, lasting change happens from within, spurred by personal realization rather than external pressure. Investing energy in changing another person diverts focus from your own growth. Instead, work on being a supportive presence while understanding that real change must come from their own desire. In turn, this acceptance provides the freedom for true intimacy to flourish. Believing that your moment has passed is a self-imposed barrier to growth and happiness. This lie convinces you that the ship has sailed and that your dreams are now beyond reach. But history is rich with stories of late bloomers who defied age norms to achieve greatness. Your timeline is your own, not dictated by societal standards or external pressures. Embrace the notion that it's never too late to pursue what ignites your passion. Every day is a fresh opportunity to step toward the life you envision for yourself. The myth of "those people" creates an artificial barrier that separates you from opportunities or experiences. It's easy to label others as different or special, making their achievements seem unattainable. This mindset limits your potential, preventing you from exploring what's possible. Challenge this narrative by recognizing commonalities rather than differences. Understand that everyone starts somewhere, often filled with doubts and uncertainties. Your dreams are just as valid and reachable as anyone else's, and embracing this can open doors you never thought possible. The need for control can feel like a shield against chaos but often becomes the very thing that stifles happiness. When you cling too tightly to control, you leave little room for spontaneity, growth, or the unexpected joys of life. This rigidity can lead to stress and anxiety, creating a false sense of security. Embrace the chaos as an integral part of the human experience. Allow yourself to let go and trust in the process. By relinquishing the need for control, you open up to new possibilities and experiences that can enrich your life in unexpected ways. The two most overused words in the English language often serve as a band-aid over deeper issues. Convincing yourself that you're "fine" when you're not is an act of self-deception that stifles emotional growth. It's easier to gloss over our feelings than to confront the raw emotions lying beneath. Honesty with yourself is the first step toward healing and happiness. Acknowledge your feelings, even if they're uncomfortable or inconvenient. This vulnerability is not weakness; it's the courage to face your truths and to seek support when needed. Money is a tangible barrier, but it can also be an excuse that masks deeper fears or priorities. While legitimate financial constraints exist, often "I can't afford it" is shorthand for "I'm afraid to invest in myself." This mindset holds you back from opportunities that could lead to personal growth and fulfillment. Evaluate whether your limitations are financial or psychological. If the latter, consider reallocating resources to what truly matters to you. When you prioritize spending based on your values, you'll find that investing in yourself is the most rewarding expenditure of all. Busyness has become a badge of honor in modern society, but it often disguises a lack of fulfillment. Telling yourself you're too busy can be an excuse to avoid facing what really needs attention in your life. This mindset keeps you in perpetual motion, but not necessarily moving forward. Take a step back and evaluate where your time goes. Are you occupied with things that are meaningful or merely filling a schedule? Prioritize tasks that align with your goals and passions, and allow yourself the luxury of slowing down to savor life's simple pleasures. The need for approval can lead to a life lived for others rather than yourself. When your happiness is tied to others' perceptions, you sacrifice authenticity for acceptance. This people-pleasing tendency often leaves you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from your true self. Authenticity is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. It's impossible to please everyone, and that's a liberating realization. Focus on what feels right for you, and let go of the need for universal approval. True happiness comes from living in alignment with your values and desires. The insidious lie of not being "good enough" lurks in the shadows of self-doubt. It tells you that you're undeserving of love, success, or happiness. But this belief is not only false; it's destructive, eroding your confidence and potential. Challenge this narrative by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments. Surround yourself with positive influences that affirm your worth. Remember, you are inherently valuable, and recognizing this is the first step toward unleashing your true potential.
Vogue
a day ago
- Health
- Vogue
The Microhabit That Immediately Lowers My Cortisol
Even if you don't sit around doom scrolling on Instagram for hours, engaging in a bunch of 'quick' social media check-ins throughout the day really adds up. Small glances at a traffic stop, while walking, riding the subway, in the dentist's waiting room, before going to bed…The counter on my phone, for example, says I easily average three hours of screen time day. While mindlessly perusing TikTok is a simple way to beat boredom, it can wreak havoc on your dopamine—and also, your cortisol. Personally, I've noticed that my brain becomes hyperstimulated whenever I spend more than 30 seconds on the apps. But when I log off? My body and mind relax immediately. Disconnect to relax I noticed this phenomenon when I opted out of the wifi on a few recent flights. Instead of endlessly scrolling, messaging, and Internet sleuthing, I read a book, watched movies, and slept. The break felt like a magical respite. Because of this, I've decided to take intentional daily breaks from my phone. To do this, I'm practicing the microhabit of activating 'airplane mode' at regular intervals during the day. I know I could simply uninstall apps and re-install them when I want to use them, but I prefer my airplane mode method—especially because it feels like a ritual. I turn airplane mode on when I'm working and need to concentrate, when I'm on the subway, and before dinner so that I can be present with my husband and kids. The importance of taking these kinds of periodic digital breaks is backed by experts. 'The reality is that we spend all day receiving calls, notifications, messages, and emails... and that keeps us in a state of constant alertness and hyperconnectivity,' explains psychologist Brigida H. Madsen. 'Switching to airplane mode at certain times of the day can be an excellent idea to reduce overstimulation, increase concentration, and reduce stress. Airplane mode helps to mark real breaks, giving you a respite without guilt.' Do not disturb When trying this method, it might be tempting to simply just turn airplane mode off whenever the craving hits. One way to make it easier? Replace the phone with something else—especially activities that bring you into a 'flow state.' Think: reading a good book, painting, knitting, meditating, journaling, chatting with a neighbor, or working on a home improvement project.
Android Authority
2 days ago
- Android Authority
This app tells me I'm going to die 5 times a day, and I love it
Matt Horne / Android Authority Over the last couple of weeks, I've been showing friends a notification on my phone. It simply reads, 'Don't forget, you're going to die.' Most of them immediately responded by looking at me with a mixture of confusion and concern. I like to let that look sit for a moment before explaining what's going on. Far from suggesting that I'm unraveling mentally, these notifications are from an app that wants me to cherish life. It's called WeCroak, and it sends me five of these identical notifications each day at random times between 7 AM and 10 PM. When each arrives on my screen, I can tap it to open the app, where a new quote about death greets me. This could be from a philosopher, a poet, a movie star, or anyone. But that's just a bonus feature for me — I'd be happy enough with the notifications. The idea is as simple as it is clever. If you're regularly reminded that our time on this mortal coil is short, you should learn to appreciate the small things and seemingly mundane moments more. That could be the coffee in your hand, the sun on your face, or a friendly smile from a stranger. The mantra behind the app comes from a piece of traditional wisdom in Bhutanese culture, which holds that, 'To be a happy person, one must contemplate death five times daily.' I've found it very effective. I'm lucky enough to have a relatively comfortable and positive life compared to the next guy, but it's easy to find yourself going through the motions day to day. How easy it is to wish away the work week on a Tuesday, forgetting that we only get around 4,000 weeks on this planet. Whether I'm trying to decide if I have the energy to go to the gym or I'm picking out fruit in a supermarket, the notifications always make me pause to appreciate my lot in life. I'm not religious or spiritual, but we can all relate to the fleeting nature of our existence. If you find yourself doomscrolling for hours or grumbling about a coworker all day under your breath, give this app a try. It doesn't track you, has no social features, and doesn't gamify anything — it just casually delivers an eerie message, and hopefully encourages you to remember what is and isn't important. Just don't blame me if your friends initially give you an odd look.
