Latest news with #modernlife
Yahoo
13-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Mom Who Doesn't Own Smartphone Fears Her Kids Will ‘Miss Out' — and Other Parents Say She's Right to Worry
A woman says she and her partner don't own smartphones — and she's beginning to worry it could negatively impact her young children The woman shared her story on a popular community forum to get input and advice from other parents The majority of commenters told the poster that — for better or worse — smartphones are a necessary part of modern parentingA woman is worried that her kids might 'miss out' on opportunities because she doesn't own a smartphone — and she's asking others for advice. The woman detailed her story on the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet, a place where women can go to get input from other parents. In her post, the woman said that neither she nor her partner owns a smartphone. 'It's just never something I've needed or wanted enough to be worth the expense,' she explained, adding, 'We have basic mobile phones for calls and texts, and a house admin computer on the kitchen table for everything else. This works for us.' However, the original poster (OP) went on to say that she has children in elementary school, and that she and her husband 'recognize life is very different for young people now.' 'I wonder if we've unintentionally become the equivalent of the family without a TV in the '80s,' she wrote, before adding, 'I don't want my kids to miss out on anything worthwhile.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The OP said that so far, her lack of a smartphone has only affected a few things here and there, like 'not [being] able to join things like WhatsApp groups' — but she's starting to wonder if her kids might get left behind. 'Could us not having them limit their opportunities? Anyone else in a similar position?' she asked at the end of her post. The majority of commenters said that — for better or worse — smartphones have become a critical part of their parenting due to the fact that schools often use apps and WhatsApp chains to communicate important information. 'Everything my [children's] schools do are on apps,' said one person. 'You can probably do them through a PC browser, but paying for a school trip takes seconds on my phone. In terms of clubs, army cadet activities now have to be booked via the app, dance and drama updates are on Facebook, and my [child's] other drama group is on WhatsApp [...] Life without a mobile [phone] sounds unnecessarily hard.' The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! Another person said, 'You may think a standard brick phone may be okay, but often homework is via an app. Travel tickets/bus passes are electronic. Transportation timetables are electronic and invaluable when trying to get to/from school [when] the train is canceled, or the bus is on [a detour]. All social events are organized via WhatsApp or other SM apps.' The same person added, 'Like it or not, the smartphone is part of modern living, and you are doing your [children] a disservice by not knowing how they operate or being in a position to help them navigate them properly at a young age.' 'Realistically, your [children] will grow up in a world where smartphones are the standard. While there are workarounds now, they will be increasingly less available as more and more of the population have never lived in a world without smartphones and internet. Part of preparing them for the world is making sure they have the tools,' said someone else. Read the original article on People
Telegraph
09-07-2025
- General
- Telegraph
How wireless headphones turned Britain into a nation of zombies
'Excuse me?!' I shouted at the woman whose wallet had fallen from the back pocket of her jeans on a busy London street. She didn't turn around, so I ran forward, picked it up and hurried after her. 'Excuse me, you dropped your wallet!' No reaction. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped her head around, angry and defensive. Now I could see that she was wearing earbuds, which had been hidden from behind by her long hair. I smiled, held out her purse and clearly mouthed, 'YOU DROPPED THIS'. She took the wallet, robotically, but did not remove the earbuds, smile or speak. As she strode away – still wrapped in her own audio bubble – I doubt she heard my passive aggressively muttered 'You're welcome'. Such rudeness existed before the rise of headphones, of course. But now so many people use them in public (48 per cent of adults in Britain use them for at least two hours a day according to a 2019 study by Audio Analytics) you can sometimes be left feeling that the basic rules of such social interactions are being eroded and the potential pleasures of them lost. Many of my middle-aged friends tell me they find headphones 'essential' for surviving modern city life. They reasonably argue that shutting out the cacophony of strangers keeps them calm. One jokes that she uses hers to insulate herself from the demands of her own family. Another says they're 'invaluable' when it comes to focusing on her work. My autistic friends rely on noise-cancelling headphones to navigate a range of stressful situations. 'I wear really chunky, obvious headphones,' says Lynne, 50, 'to make it clear that I want to be left alone.' I'm not immune to the appeal. I'll catch up on podcasts while walking my dog over the fields. At the gym there is no way I'd pound my way through the pain and tedium of the treadmill without the distraction of motivating podcasts and audiobooks. But if we drown out all of life's affable, mundane chit-chat and only read the more extreme opinions expressed online, aren't we making ourselves more – not less – anxious? Dr Jim Taylor, a psychologist and author based in San Francisco, warns that headphones are a 'purgatory'. 'They prevent us from connecting to the outer world, as well as shutting us off from our inner worlds: our thoughts, our emotions, our physiognomy [the art of 'reading' people's faces],' he says. 'We're neither here nor there, trapped in a limbo where our minds our being filled. We're not developing self-reflection, self-awareness, self-control.' He believes earbuds are a form of 'emotional anaesthetic' which can cause 'irreparable damage' to us as individuals and as a society. Joyce, 62, who works on the checkout at my local Co-op, agrees with him. Always game for a gossip as she rings up my groceries, she tells me that 'people using headphones seldom acknowledge staff here as human beings anymore. They don't respond to our greetings or reply to our questions.' These customers, standing only a few feet from her, share the same space but are in an entirely different world, nodding to the beat of music she can't hear or laughing in her face at podcasters' jokes from which she is excluded. 'It can make you feel invisible.' She sighs. 'I live alone and so I have always enjoyed passing the time of day with customers. Lots of our older customers do still like a chat. We've got a couple who are deaf, but that is very different – they still look for a connection and make eye contact. But some teenagers treat me like I'm an automated checkout.' While I hope I've taught my own teenage children never to behave in this rude way in such situations, at home it can often feel like they're entirely cut off from me by their headphones. It's hard enough to communicate with self-absorbed and grunt-prone adolescents at the best of times. Their brains are already wired to shut us out. Headphones exacerbate the problem and escalate conflict. I love to cook, so by the time I call my kids for dinner I'm usually in a good mood and will summon them to the table in my most Mary Poppins-y voice. But by the time I've called them, unheeded, seven times and the dinner's gone cold, I'll be snapping and snarling like Cruella de Vil. 'Why are you always so angry?' they'll ask, bewildered. For a generation that's always going on about 'feeling seen' it's maddening that they don't seem to realise it's equally important to 'feel heard'. I regularly pass groups of teens at the park, sharing picnic blankets and snacks but all plugged into different soundtracks. Together, alone. Nivedita Nayak, a clinical psychologist, believes that 'persistent headphone use is quietly reshaping how people engage or fail to engage with one another in everyday life'. In her sessions she's spotted a recurring pattern of clients using headphones 'not just for music or podcasts but as a tool to withdraw from their surroundings emotionally'. Nayak says this pattern is especially pronounced among teenagers, who often report that wearing earbuds helps them 'avoid awkward conversations' or 'tune out the world', even in group settings like school lunch breaks or family dinners. One 17-year-old student came to therapy after experiencing repeated conflicts with peers and teachers. He described feeling 'drained' around people and relied heavily on music to get through the school day, wearing earbuds even while walking with friends or sitting in class. Over time, his teachers noticed he stopped engaging entirely during group discussions, and his parents reported that even at home, he would keep one earbud in during meals, nodding but not listening. Like so many coping strategies, his headphones had started to create more problems than they were solving. According to a 2022 survey by the Campaign to End Loneliness, 49.6 per cent of adults in the UK reported feeling lonely occasionally, sometimes, often or always. Another survey in 2021, by audio firm Jabra, found that UK headphone users wore them for on average 58 minutes a day, with 37 per cent keeping them on to deliberately avoid talking to others. Dee Johnson, a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, working in Essex, says: 'I know people are tired of hearing about the fallout from the pandemic, but the isolation and anxiety people experienced during that time saw many people lose – or not develop – social skills. I was already seeing clients who would prefer to email or text colleagues sitting in the same room as them at work. Earbuds make that more common and the less people talk the lower their confidence gets. 'If your head is in a different place to the people around you then you'll miss non-verbal cues. It reduces our ability to develop listening skills and emotional intelligence. We are pack animals but, increasingly, we're chasing to separate ourselves from the herd and this is making us unhappy.' In family situations, she says, this can 'cause resentment and prevent us from developing conflict resolution skills'. During addiction therapy sessions at the Priory Hospital group, Johnson sees people going through rehab with their earbuds in, trying to shut everything out. '[Earbuds] can be helpful and I will remind clients it can be good to go for a walk with some good tunes on,' she says. 'If you're autistic or anxious and your headphones get you through a supermarket trip? Great! But we need to use them in moderation or that sense of control over our soundtrack, the protection from boredom, the false security you get from living in that audio bubble and not being challenged – by your own thoughts or anybody else's – can become the next addiction.' Johnson says she has 'even had clients walk into therapy with their earbuds in. They're so used to wearing them they've become part of their bodies.' But take them off in Johnson's seaside therapy room in Leigh-on-Sea and 'you can listen to the breeze, the sea, the gulls… catch those funny snatches of overheard conversation. Those moments stimulate the brain and spark creativity. They can also do the opposite and connect us with peace.' She points out that 'our primeval brain knows we ideally need all our senses to stay safe, so shutting some down can lead to deeper-seated fears'. Those fears are founded in reality. Most drivers will have slammed on the brakes at some point for a jogger or cyclist who has swerved, obliviously, into their path while headphones prevented them from tuning in to the sound of traffic. With electric vehicles now so quiet, it's even more important for us to stay alert for traffic. Yet the 2019 survey by Audio Analytics found that a staggering 24 per cent of adults in Britain admitted they had put themselves in danger over the previous 12 months when wearing headphones or earphones while walking, running or cycling. The company's research found that the risks were higher for younger people with 37 per cent of those aged between 18 and 34 admitting to finding themselves in at least one hazardous situation over the previous year, with many doing this multiple times. Survey data was not collected for under-18s, but it's assumed that the risks are even higher for school-age children, who often use headphones. 'Learning to live as happy, healthy human beings in a complex society is a skill,' says Taylor. 'And it's one the younger generations are not learning.' He's also the parent of two teenagers, who he says are not allowed to wear earbuds if there is anybody else in the room. 'Because, yes, they are pretty good at texting. But the headphones are an extension of the screens you see people all staring at on the bus so they don't have to make conversation.' Today's teenagers, he adds, have been raised in a divided world where they fear strangers may be hostile and so don't take the spontaneous social risks required to discover that their fellow bus passengers might be friendly or interesting. They miss opportunities to make friends, fall in love, have a laugh and discover, as American writer Bill Nye once wrote, that 'everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't'.
Yahoo
06-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Why Your Nervous System Might Be at War With Modern Life
A viral TikTok video is striking a deep chord with viewers who say it perfectly explains why they're exhausted, anxious, and burned out. The message? It's not just you—your nervous system may be in survival mode all the time. Brittany Piper, a 36-year-old Somatic Experiencing® practitioner and author of Body-First Healing, posted a video in March that's now racked up nearly half a million views. In it, she argues that our modern lives are fundamentally out of sync with what the human body—and especially the nervous system—was built to handle. 'It is my personal and professional belief that the drastic rise we are seeing in chronic physical and mental illness can be attributed to this one thing,' Piper says. 'We have created a world that our nervous system no longer wants to live in.' Piper compares the nervous system to a security alarm, constantly scanning for danger. In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world, it's often triggered, not just by traumatic events, but by everyday stressors like digital overload, political division, economic uncertainty, and social disconnection. The result? Our bodies stay locked in survival states like fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown, flooding us with cortisol and adrenaline. She told Newsweek that this ongoing activation can lead to anxiety, fatigue, pain, and other chronic issues. 'Many of the symptoms we face today at alarming rates,' she said, 'are not random symptoms, but the body's intelligent responses to overwhelm.' Piper's video has struck a nerve with thousands of viewers who say they've been desperate for answers, and her explanation finally makes sense of what they've been feeling. Her advice? Healing doesn't mean pushing harder. It means slowing down, grounding yourself, and building awareness of what your body is trying to tell you. Piper suggests starting with small actions: feel your feet on the ground, notice your breath, or identify something comforting in your environment. These steps, she says, can build a sense of internal safety and help regulate the nervous system. 'Healing is less about doing more,' Piper adds, 'and more about doing less, with more attunement.' As conversations around mental health, trauma, and somatic therapy gain mainstream traction, Piper's viral theory offers both validation and a practical path forward, especially for those who feel like they're stuck in overdrive. Why Your Nervous System Might Be at War With Modern Life first appeared on Men's Journal on Jul 5, 2025
Washington Post
17-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Washington Post
Miss Manners: When ‘you make me sick' is meant as a compliment
Dear Miss Manners: I have skills and interests that are rather unusual in modern times. I enjoy these hobbies immensely, though I make a point of not bringing them up with new acquaintances, since they are not likely to make a two-way conversation flow. When I meet a friend of a friend, however, my interests are invariably a part of the introduction, usually followed by a comment like, 'She's so good at everything, it makes me sick!'
Yahoo
16-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
15 Reasons You've Never Had A Genuine Friend
In a world where superficial connections are a swipe away, the art of forging deep friendships can seem elusive. You've scrolled, shared, and tweeted, yet find yourself wondering why your friendships often feel like empty echoes. It's not just you—modern life is a maze of endless digital interactions, societal pressures, and personal hurdles. Perhaps it's time to ponder what truly stands in your way of building those soul-nourishing connections. You're not alone in feeling exposed when opening up; vulnerability isn't exactly embraced in today's world. Somehow, you equate vulnerability with weakness, forgetting that it's the glue that holds genuine friendships together. When you can't bear to reveal your true self, others can't truly get to know you. It's like trying to connect over a dimly lit video call with a spotty connection—frustrating and ineffective. In denying vulnerability, you dismiss the very essence of authentic human connection. Friends are meant to see your unfiltered reality, not just the curated highlight reel. Trust is built on shared fears, confessions, and those raw, unguarded moments. When you shy away from these, you inadvertently place barriers where bridges should be. Your calendar might be your worst enemy. In the relentless hustle culture, you often wear busyness as a badge of honor, mistaking it for productivity. Yet, this endless cycle leaves no room for genuine connections to flourish. As if you're living life in bullet points, ticking off tasks without savoring the in-betweens where friendships grow. Research from Professor Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas suggests that it takes over 200 hours to develop a close friendship. Think about it—are you dedicating those hours or losing them in a sea of notifications and appointments? The truth is, meaningful bonds require more than just scheduled coffee dates. They need space to breathe and evolve, something your packed agenda doesn't often allow. Your social bubble might be suffocating you. In striving for comfort, you may have surrounded yourself with people who mirror your beliefs, interests, and even your skepticism. While it feels reassuring, this echo chamber stifles the diversity of thought and emotion needed for robust friendships. It's like wearing sunglasses indoors—the outside world is there, but you're not seeing it. According to Dr. Robin Dunbar, a renowned anthropologist, diverse social networks enhance our ability to empathize and understand others deeply. If your world is a reflection of yourself, you're missing out on the myriad colors that different perspectives offer. Step outside your bubble and let in the surprise of new ideas, and you may find the relationships you long for are waiting just beyond its borders. Perfectionism can be a friendship killer. The constant quest for an ideal friend—or to be one—leads to a cycle of disappointment. You set impossibly high standards, leaving no room for human flaws. It's like expecting a movie to play out exactly as it did in your mind, only for the credits to roll differently. This chase for perfection blinds you to the beauty of imperfections. Flaws are what make friendships interesting and uniquely yours. When you allow space for mistakes, you open the door to deeper understanding and forgiveness. Instead of chasing an unattainable ideal, find comfort in the imperfect harmony that real friendships offer. Your online persona might be overshadowing your real-life presence. In a world dominated by social media, it's easy to curate a version of yourself that doesn't quite match up to reality. This disconnect can make genuine connections feel awkward or stilted. You're left wrestling with the idea of being 'liked' versus truly being known. A study led by Professor Sherry Turkle at MIT reveals that heavy reliance on virtual communication can hinder our ability to engage in face-to-face interactions. The screen may offer a sense of control, but it also strips the spontaneity and authenticity from interactions. To forge real bonds, you might need to let go of the digital mask and embrace the unscripted intimacy of in-person conversations. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow, but it's a necessary part of forming meaningful connections. If you find yourself shying away from making the first move, it might be rooted in a fear of hearing 'no.' This fear can trap you in a cycle of isolation, where opportunities slip through your fingers. You may feel safe, but you're also alone in your self-imposed fortress. When you let fear dictate your actions, you miss out on the serendipitous moments that build strong friendships. Rejection is not the end of the world; it's just a part of it. The most enduring friendships often begin with a simple hello, a risk taken despite the possibility of falling flat. Embrace the uncertainty, and you might find the connection you've been longing for. There's a difference between listening and truly hearing someone. Often, you might find yourself nodding along while formulating your next response instead of absorbing what's being said. This habit can create a disconnect, leaving your conversations shallow and unfulfilling. It's like reading a book by only skimming the pages—there's so much you're missing. According to Julian Treasure, a sound expert and author, mastering the art of conscious listening is key to forging deeper relationships. By truly immersing yourself in another's words, you validate their experiences and emotions. It's this kind of attentiveness that cultivates trust and intimacy. Slow down, listen deeply, and you might discover the richness of friendship you've been seeking. The grass always seems greener on the other side, doesn't it? The habit of comparing your friendships with others can be a silent destroyer of joy. You might find yourself trapped in a loop of envy, focusing on what your relationships lack rather than what they offer. It's like watching someone else's highlight reel and forgetting that your behind-the-scenes moments hold value. Comparisons can lead you to overlook the strengths of your friendships. Instead of appreciating the unique bond you share, you might be dwelling on perceived inadequacies. Embrace the individuality of your relationships; they're not meant to be carbon copies of others. When you let go of comparisons, you allow your friendships to shine in their own right. Everyone carries emotional baggage, but letting it dictate your friendships can be stifling. Past traumas or disappointments may cause you to build walls that even the most determined friend can't breach. These defenses might feel protective, but often lead to loneliness and misunderstanding. It's like trying to swim with weights tied to your ankles. If you want strong friendships, addressing your emotional history is essential. It's not about offloading your past onto others but understanding how it shapes your present. Healing can transform your relationships, providing fertile ground for trust to flourish. Remember, it's not your baggage that defines you but how you choose to carry it. Independence is often lauded as a virtue, but too much of it can isolate you from potential friends. You might view reliance on others as weakness, preferring solitude over shared experiences. This mindset can lead to a life devoid of the richness that comes from community. Like a brilliant solo performance missing the harmony of a symphony. Embrace the idea that interdependence doesn't diminish your strength; it enhances it. Allowing others in doesn't mean you lose yourself, but rather, you gain the support and companionship that humans inherently need. Friendship is not about losing independence but enriching it with shared laughter, tears, and memories. Sometimes, strength is found in leaning on others. Old friendships can be comforting, but clinging to them at the expense of new ones can stunt your social growth. You might romanticize the past, holding onto it like a security blanket while ignoring the potential for fresh connections. This nostalgia can blind you to the possibilities of the present. It's like watching a rerun when a new episode offers more. To cultivate strong friendships now, you need to be willing to let go of what no longer serves you. It's not about forgetting old friends, but making room for new dynamics. The past has shaped you, but it doesn't have to define your current social landscape. Open up to the friendships that the present moment has to offer. The myth that true friendships are effortless can lead to neglect and resentment. When conflicts arise or effort is required, you might take it as a sign of a weak bond. This misconception can cause you to abandon relationships prematurely. It's like discarding a plant when it wilts, unaware that with care, it could thrive. Friendships, like anything worthwhile, require work and dedication. Expecting them to be easy undermines their complexity and depth. Embrace the challenges as opportunities for growth and deeper connection. When you invest time and energy, you nurture a friendship that can withstand the test of time. While common interests can spark a friendship, exclusively seeking out those who are just like you can be limiting. This tendency might lead you towards relationships that lack depth and excitement. You end up in a comfort zone that's, frankly, too comfortable. It's like reading only one genre of books and missing out on the richness of literary diversity. Diversifying your social circle can lead to more stimulating and enduring friendships. It challenges you to grow, learn, and adapt in ways you might not have considered. Embrace the differences that others bring into your life, and you'll find that they add unexpected richness and resilience to your bonds. After all, variety is the spice of life. When things go wrong, your instinct might be to internalize rather than vocalize. The fear of burdening others with your problems can lead you to suffer in silence. This stoicism can create an emotional chasm between you and potential friends. It's like having a treasure chest locked tight, with no one to share its contents. Opening up about your struggles can be a powerful bonding experience. Friends are there to comfort and support, not judge or belittle you. Sharing your burdens doesn't make you weaker; it fortifies the connections you're building. Let those around you see the real you, and you'll discover the strength in shared vulnerability. In a world of instant gratification, patience can feel like a lost art. You might give up on friendships too soon, expecting immediate returns and fireworks. This impatience can prevent you from experiencing the gradual, steady growth that defines true friendship. It's like planting a seed and digging it up the next day to see if it's sprouted. Strong friendships take time to develop and blossom. They require patience and the willingness to see past initial awkwardness and uncertainty. Allow your connections to unfold naturally, resisting the urge to rush the process. You'll find that the slow burn of a lasting friendship is infinitely more rewarding than a fleeting spark.
