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Irish Times
18-07-2025
- General
- Irish Times
Brianna Parkins: People who get up early in the morning for no reason are a menace to society
I am deep in enemy territory. Surrounded by supporters of the very regime I've been railing against for years: the menace to society that is people who get up early in the morning for no good reason. When I first moved to Ireland I had jet lag. They say you need one day per timezone to get over it. I had just jumped nine. By day three I was so tired I could smell colours. My body was a cranky toddler that drifted off to sleep in the car and came to screaming in a pram being pushed around an Aldi . I fought off the desperate and dragging need to sleep, going to bed later in a bid to reset myself. But I shouldn't have bothered my hole. My circadian rhythm was way off . It didn't matter if I slept at 7pm or 1am, my eyes would spring open at 4am without fail, and I would be ready to greet the day in Dublin . Except my new city wasn't ready to greet me. READ MORE My plan was to pretend to be a morning person, get up, get a coffee and walk around the streets. Cafes open from around 6am in Sydney or even earlier. I'd just wait two hours and watch the sun rise, beverage in hand. Then I discovered the sun wouldn't show itself properly until 9am in winter and no cafe except the closest Starbucks would open until 7.30am (the Sydney equivalent of noon). So I waited, and as I made my way through the streets of Ringsend , which were empty enough to make me feel I'd survived an apocalypse, I felt profound joy. Finally I had found my people. I had found a culture that didn't compel people to leap out of bed predawn. I saw tradespeople going to work at 8am or sometimes 9am; in Australia the heat has most on site between 5am and 7am. My new boss told me to show up at 10am. Brunch – the meal that's meant to come between breakfast and lunch – was being offered at 2pm. All this would have been unthinkable just a short time and a long plane ride ago. Ireland does have a decent number of early risers who do so out of choice and not work requirements. The sea swimmers who like to slice through Dublin Bay while it looks like glass. Parents of small children who have too much inconvenient guilt about drugging them. Nuns. Runners. Busy mothers who just want 'one bloody hour of quiet to themselves before everybody wakes up, if that's not too much to ask'. [ Moving to another country is hard. You're not failing if you're not living up to a filtered social media standard Opens in new window ] But you don't catch them banging on about it. It's very much a case of 'your body, your choice'. They're happy in their way but they won't attempt to proselytise you. Sadly, my partner has farming child trauma and believes that if you get up at 8am a man in wellies will come stand by your bed and tut 'sure half the day is gone' at you in shame. But even he enjoys an occasional lie-in. A morning safe from being ripped from the warm blankets and the soft bed, where it is so, so cozy and you are so, so comfy. When I moved back to Australia I realised the false supremacy of morning people had taken my beloved country to new extremes. It's become an influencer trend after Covid to take photos at Bondi or any beach at sunrise, doing something that could easily be done at any point of the day – like running or walking. Or wearing tights. The problem with morning people is that they assign moral value to what happens to be their natural preference. Which you never catch night people doing, oddly. Depriving yourself of sleep is not labelled performative productiveness – 'it's a mindset for success'. The Puritans would have hated TikTok , but they would have loved the early morning propaganda being spread on it. Instead of leaving early mornings for the Protestants (like my dad), we have let them become the drag impersonation of work ethic. Getting up and journaling at 6am is seen as self-discipline, but writing things in a diary at 2am is a cry for help. Working into the night is bad time management even if those are your most productive and creative hours. But waking up four hours before you have to work to faff around is not. It's a marketing battle, and we are letting the morning people win. Just as I cannot be brilliant at breakfast, a person who wakes up at 5am every day will be no craic at midnight. But who would you rather have at your wedding?
Yahoo
17-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Kelly Ripa roasts husband Mark Consuelos for ‘disgusting' sex desire
Kelly Ripa is mocking her husband, Mark Consuelos, for his sexual desires. The 54-year-old TV host made a confession about her sex life during Tuesday's episode of Amanda Hirsch's Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. During the conversation, Ripa asked when Hirsch and her husband prefer to have sex. 'I'm going to go personal. Are you an evening person or a morning person?' Ripa asked, to which Hirsch replied: 'Definitely not morning. Do not breathe on me in the morning.' Ripa claimed that men prefer to have sexual intercourse in the morning, which Hirsch said she wouldn't do with her partner. 'I find it disgusting,' the Live with Kelly and Mark host added. However, according to Ripa, her husband only wants to have sex in the morning, which she had to talk to him about. Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos have spoken openly about their sex life (Getty Images) 'He'll never learn, he's a guy,' she joked. 'But I said to him, 'Here's the thing, there needs to be a yin and a yang here. It can't always be your way. Because it feels like 90 percent of the time it's your way.'' 'And now that we work together every day, it's gonna have to sometimes be my way, and my way's at night only,' she added, since she and her husband have been hosting Live together since April 2023. She also roasted her husband for wanting to kiss her when they wake up in the mornings. 'I have a retainer in. I gotta rip that out,' Ripa added. 'And he's got his nasal things on. We are the most repulsive, disgusting.' Ripa joked that men 'don't care' and that a 'd*** has a brain of its own.' 'I'm already pre-disgusted for tomorrow morning,' she quipped. However, she clarified that she and Consuelos don't have sex every morning, since they have to get up early for work. 'The greatest thing about this job, this thing has like, almost repulsed him from morning time during the work week,' she explained. 'Which is like a miracle.' She then questioned why her husband doesn't 'suffer from erectile dysfunction,' since he's in his mid-50s. 'Shouldn't that be happening now? I was promised!' Ripa jokingly added. Ripa and Consuelos first met in the Nineties, when they were both starring on All My Children. They got married in 1996 and went on to welcome three children: Michael, 28, Lola, 24, and Joaquin, 22. The longtime couple is notorious for sharing NSFW details about their relationship. During a 2023 episode of her podcast, Let's Talk off Camera with Kelly Ripa, Consuelos and Ripa recalled how they've stayed connected during their time apart, including when the Riverdale star was in Canada for 10 months in 2020 for work. After Consuelos said that there were 'rituals' they did to stay close, Ripa stepped in to share how they're intimate with each other via FaceTime. 'We had, can I tell you something, we had sexual rituals that were so ludicrous, over FaceTime,' she explained. 'I became so alarmed at my appearance, over FaceTime, that I started rigging the computer to hang from a ladder.' She then poked fun at how she 'got really close to herself' in 'situations where [she] was separated from [her] husband for long periods of time.' Ripa also addressed how important intimacy is in a relationship, asking Consuelos if it would be a 'dealbreaker' if she 'cut [him] off sexually.' In response, he said: 'That could be a potential deal breaker…Unless you had some type of medical condition where, like, you lost the use of [your body].'
