Latest news with #parentingstyles
News.com.au
15-07-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Parents debate what is appropriate for young girls to wear at the beach
A heated discussion kicked off on popular television show Parental Guidance last week when the subject of what is and isn't appropriate for young girls to be wearing came up. Tammy, one of the 'upfront' parents on Nine's reality TV series, sparked debate after revealing that she didn't want her four sons — between the ages of 9 and 13 — bringing home the girl wearing 'short shorts'. She made the comment during a sit down conversation with her sons, and partner Mark, about consent and what should be done if kids receive a naked photo. Parental Guidance, hosted by Ally Langdon and parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson, tackles how different parenting styles approach topics such as children's lives online, consent, peer pressure and body image. Following the 'short shorts' comment, other parents weighed in on how Tammy and Mark approached the conversation. Sofia, who is one of the parents from the 'positivity' style, questioned the remark from the fellow mum. 'So, the thing at the moment that we're noticing is the girls, they're wearing short shorts. I am saying to our boys, don't bring home the girl wearing the short shorts,' Tammy said. 'I'm not judging the girl with the short shorts, I am judging the girl's mum.' Sofia said that Tammy was being 'very judgmental' and pointed out that she was a mother to only males. 'And cause you have all boys as well, you know how men judge women and go 'well she wore that, so it was OK for me to then do such and such',' Sofia said. Tammy doubled down, saying if she had a daughter she would not let a 12-year-old leave the house in a 'Brazilian butt bikini'. Joanne, from the traditional parenting style, then jumped in and argued that girls should be able to wear whatever they want — but caveated that by saying she did think there were ages where things became appropriate. 'A 12-year-old in a G-string on the beach makes it very difficult for my husband to walk down comfortably,' she said. Sofia asked if that meant that women needed to 'dress appropriately' so that Joanne's husband, Nathan, 'felt comfortable'. Joanne then asked how Sofia would feel if there were a 'row of backsides' in front of her at the beach, and the positivity parent responded she wasn't really thinking about it. At this point, co-host Ally Langdon intervened. 'Can we also notice the theme in all of this? That we've turned the focus to the girls,' she stated. Daniel Principe, a youth and masculinity educator who appeared on the show as an expert, said conversations or thought processes he was scared of were that someone 'had it coming' or that there were certain kinds of people we should 'respect less'. 'I think we need to address that — that it shouldn't change the respect, decency and care that that person is owed,' he said. Dr Coulson pointed out that there was a general concern about oversexualisation of children at a young age. Mr Principe said he did worry about oversexualisation, but the biggest issue was why society placed more importance on a sexy selfie, rather than creativity and academic performance or athleticism. Just like the parents in the show, many social media users were divided about what was the best approach. 'I'm a woman and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable seeing what some children and women wear,' one social media user said. Another said: 'I'm a parent of both a boy and girl. I don't care what anyone says, putting a 12-year-old girl, or allowing them to wear a G-string bikini is not on! You are sexualising your child! If you think it's OK, why not let them go topless at the beach also.' This viewer argued: 'Mothers and fathers need to educate their sons. Women can wear what they want and feel safe.' Another added: 'I'd never allow my daughter at 12 wear a G-string bathing suit.' 'Maybe a 12-year-old shouldn't be wearing a G-string but that's not an excuse for her to be objectified, as long as she's comfortable.' 'A 12-year-old shouldn't be wearing a G-string at the beach. Keep your child safe,' one said. Another weighed in: 'Why are we still saying this crap in 2025.' 'The bigger question is why are parents buying this type of clothing for their kids? This could be considered putting their children at risk, dare I say it trying to sell them,' one said. This viewer asked the question: 'Who's sexualising them? MEN! So who is the real problem? Hmmm? MEN!' Channel 9 declined to comment on the heated debate.
Yahoo
04-07-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
5 Signs Of Donald Trump's Narcissistic Parenting That Experts Can Spot From A Mile Away
Donald Trump has always been deeply invested in the image he projects to the world, and that extends to how he presents his family. Over the years, his children have been featured prominently in his business dealings, media appearances and political campaigns, often positioned as reflections of his success, values and legacy. He frequently praises them in public: sometimes in glowing or even transactional terms, while also drawing attention to their loyalty and proximity to power. But behind the public compliments and photo ops, some psychologists see patterns that go beyond pride. When looking at his public parenting, experts point to quite a few similarities to a style of behavior known as 'narcissistic parenting,' in which a parent views their child less as an independent person and more as an extension of themselves. This often means valuing performance over emotional connection, image over authenticity, and control over autonomy. From conditional approval to public ownership of his children's accomplishments, here are five signs of narcissistic parenting that Trump has consistently displayed, and what they reveal about the complex dynamic between power, ego and parenthood. Trump often speaks about his children in terms of how they represent him, highlighting their physical appearance, loyalty or business success as evidence of his own greatness. In interviews, he's praised his older daughter Ivanka for inheriting his looks and business acumen, describing her as 'a great piece of ass' in a now-infamous Howard Stern interview. 'It's one thing to view your children's accomplishments as something you helped them achieve, but it's another thing to think you are solely responsible for their success and take all the credit,' says Karen Marker, MA, LIMHP, owner and therapist at Serenity Therapy and Wellness. 'It's somewhat become a trademark of Donald Trump's and its classic narcissistic parenting.' However, research shows that when parents view children as extensions of themselves, valuing them chiefly for bolstering parental self‑esteem, children internalize these instrumental roles and normalize boundary crossing. This can lead to them developing a 'false self' aligned with their parent's needs or expectations rather than their own needs. In narcissistic family systems, loyalty is paramount and often rewarded, while independence or criticism is seen as betrayal. Trump has publicly celebrated the children who defend him most vocally, like Donald Jr., while being less vocal about others, such as Tiffany, who has remained largely out of the spotlight for much of his presidency. Ivanka, in particular, has long been positioned as both a trusted advisor and a favored child. She is often introduced as someone he 'trusts' and 'respects.' Donald Jr. has acted as a vocal surrogate during Trump's political campaigns, using social media and public appearances to amplify his father's messages. Eric has similarly maintained loyalty to the family enterprises, often defending the Trump brand and family legacy. In return, Trump rarely misses an opportunity to publicly praise them, often emphasizing their usefulness, work ethic, or ability to reflect well on him, rather than their individuality or emotional connection. 'Loyalty serves their needs for control, validation and protection, while authentic connection requires vulnerability and mutual respect—things narcissists typically avoid or are afraid of,' says Sarah Darrow, EdS, a licensed psychologist focused on adolescence. 'And when we see these traits in parents we tend to see their children struggle as adults in navigating their relationship, often being completely loyal or very distant from their narcissistic parent or parents.' Another trait is the conditional nature of Trump's relationship with his children. This was on clear display when Ivanka distanced herself slightly during the Jan. 6 hearings, stating she accepted the Justice Department's conclusion that no widespread fraud occurred in the 2020 election. Trump swiftly dismissed her testimony, saying she was 'not involved' and appeared 'checked out.' This pattern reflects a core dynamic of narcissistic parenting. 'Children are valued most when they reinforce the parent's image or agenda,' she says Marker. 'Emotional closeness is secondary to allegiance.' Trump is quick to praise his children, but often in ways that reflect back on his own success, legacy or brand, rather than their unique identities or accomplishments. In interviews, speeches and social media posts, his compliments tend to be transactional, highlighting how his children mirror his values, contribute to his enterprises, or bolster his public image. It's less about celebrating them as individuals and more about how their actions affirm his status as a successful father, businessman or leader. 'Narcissistic parents often dangle public praise like a trophy, to serve their own needs rather than genuinely celebrate their child,' says Darrow. 'This is often done for them to show the world their 'perfect' parenting style and to reinforce behaviors that serve them.' For instance, he frequently lauds Ivanka for being 'smart' and 'beautiful,' while emphasizing how much people admire her — a form of praise that centers not on her inner life or relationships, but on her role as an impressive public figure who reflects well on him. Donald Jr. and Eric are often praised for their loyalty and aggressiveness in defending the family brand, particularly during political controversies. The subtext is clear: Their value is tied to how well they perform publicly on his behalf. This kind of praise, while flattering on the surface, is a classic feature of narcissistic parenting. It teaches children that their worth is conditional, not on who they are, but on how well they serve or enhance the parent's image. As a result, children may learn to suppress vulnerability or independent expression in favor of staying in the parent's good graces. In Trump's case, his public parenting moments often suggest that admiration is earned through usefulness and optics, not emotional connection or unconditional support. Trump has routinely placed his children in high-stakes adult arenas, from business boardrooms to White House strategy meetings. And let's not forget Ivanka's husband, Jared Kushner, getting a senior adviser role, a role many critics at the time said he was not qualified for. While many families involve their kids in family business, experts say narcissistic parents often skip crucial boundaries, using their children to meet their own needs for admiration or status. 'It's also a way to control them,' says Marker. 'When you put your children in leadership roles, specifically high-stakes roles, you can control them, because you can remind them that you put them there.' Favoritism is a hallmark of narcissistic parenting, often used to maintain control, boost the parent's ego, or pit siblings against one another. In Donald Trump's case, this dynamic has been particularly visible through his long-standing and often public preference for Ivanka. He has referred to her on multiple occasions as his 'favorite,' even joking during an appearance on 'The View' that if she weren't his daughter, 'perhaps I'd be dating her.' Notably, press secretary Karoline Leavitt side-stepped the question from a child during a 'Take Your Child To Work Day' at the White House: 'That is a very controversial question, and I am not going to answer it. He loves all of his children very much, and they're all great kids.' By contrast, Tiffany has often appeared on the periphery of the Trump family orbit. She was rarely seen at campaign events, received little public praise, and has at times seemed excluded from the inner circle. In his 2016 RNC speech, Trump mentioned each of his adult children — except Tiffany. Barron, his youngest, is mentioned even less. While that could be partly attributed to Melania's efforts to keep him out of the spotlight and his being only freshly an adult, Trump's public comments about him are minimal beyond his apparent 'technological aptitude' of turning on a computer that Trump turned off. Even Eric and Donald Jr., who have been fiercely loyal and involved in both the Trump Organization and political campaigns, tend to be praised in more utilitarian terms, highlighted for their aggressiveness or loyalty rather than personal warmth or uniqueness. 'This can be deliberate,' says Marker. 'A lot of times parents who want to make one child feel more special will go out of their way to praise them in front of other children or vice versa — go out of their way to not praise a child, even if they deserve it. It's cruel.' MAGA Has A Kink For 'Daddy Trump' — And Therapists Say It Makes Perfect Sense For Trump's Birthday, Astrologers Analyzed His Chart — And It's Gonna Be A Hell Of A Year Trump's Body Language After He Learns He's Been Brutally Mocked Spoke Volumes, Experts Say Trump's Post About Taylor Swift Is So Immature, We Needed Child Psychologists To Explain
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
What's your parenting style? Waffler or wimp or something else entirely?
You may not know this, but there are different parenting styles and they have their own official names. You're probably concerned about your own style, which you should be (because one day, your children will say you picked the wrong one). Also, labeling things is important. The best parenting style is the one that doesn't involve manual labor or time away from binge watching shows about cheating spouses. According to parenting experts, who spend all day long making up things and changing them, there are three main types: Mob Boss ('authoritarian'), Waffler ('authoritative') and Wimp ('permissive'). If you only stick to one style, everyone in the house will become bored. So, if you've allowed your kids to skip school and go to the horse track (Wimp), demand that they perform feats of strength later at the dinner table (Mob Boss.). Before allowing a play date at someone else's house and witnessing the wrong parenting style, remember: you don't want your kids to learn about free will. Sneak into the home to spy first. Don't be judgy, but if the worst is true, keep your kid out of there. Here are some other highly recommended and ground-breaking parenting styles, below, that scientists will publish in a prestigious academic journal soon or possibly never. It might help to read this list, because licensed mental health professionals say that being self-aware is healthy. I have no idea why, but it sounds impressive. Zen Parent: 'You do you, dear,' as the child hurls a large toy truck at the TV. Hysterical Parent: 'I'll hurl this knife into my chest if you don't eat that broccoli.' Touchy Parent: 'Did that sneeze mean that you plan to run away after getting together the money for a bus ticket?' Guilt-Trip Parent: 'How could you not like my homemade pureed carrots? I skipped bowling night to make them. If you're not answering because you're a 6-month-old baby, I'm still hurt by your behavior.' Well-Bred Parent: 'You didn't say 'excuse me' for that burp, after you stole the lighter fluid and torched the house. Being tired is no excuse for bad manners.' Demanding Parent: 'You scratched your tricycle; you buff it.' Bear Hug Parent: 'Get over here, you big, lovable goons,' after their sixth public tantrum that day. Overcompensating Parent: 'You can have my new car,' after failing to produce suitable candy during mid-afternoon snack time. Breaking and Entering Parent: You snuck into their bedroom to crack open the windows, due to the smell. Unfortunately, they'd installed a surveillance camera. Now they've initiated a room cleaning strike and will never trust you again. In this case, you might need a new parenting style. Pam J. Hecht is a writer, instructor and mother of two (but not necessarily in that order). Reach her at pamjh8@ or This article originally appeared on Greenville News: The Funny Business of Parenting – Are you THAT kind of parent?
Washington Post
12-06-2025
- General
- Washington Post
Will hugs make my 4-year-old son ‘soft'? My wife and I argue about this.
My wife and I have a 4-year-old son. I'm very affectionate with him — I hug him a lot, tell him I love him and comfort him when he cries. But my wife is starting to express concern that I'll make him 'soft.' We both came from strict households but apparently drew different lessons from it. I think showing love and emotion is healthy for boys and, frankly, wish my father hadn't been so tough on me and had shown more love. She thinks that boys need a firm hand and has more of a tough-love approach. We're both good parents, but this is starting to create real tension. How do we resolve a parenting difference that touches on something so personal?
CTV News
23-05-2025
- General
- CTV News
What ‘gentle parenting' does for your kids
'Back in my day,' some grandparents say to their adult children, 'we didn't let our kids speak without being spoken to or talk back to without a spanking or question every parental decision without a consequence.' What did happen to time-outs? Or 'I'll give you something to cry about?' There's a certain segment of parents who reject that form of parenting for something they say may work better, called 'gentle parenting.' If you hear the term and roll your eyes, and we know that's likely — pause for a second. Gentle parenting is often misunderstood and taken to mean coddling, said Dr. Brian Razzino, a licensed clinical psychologist in Falls Church, Virginia. That's not the case. Gentle parenting –– or what many people mean when they talk about it –– is often about teaching skills for adulthood and enforcing boundaries, and it has a lot to offer families, he said. This strategy is becoming popular as nearly half of parents say they are trying to raise their children differently than how they grew up, according to a 2023 report from the Pew Research Center. Those parents said they were looking to give their children more love and affection, having open, honest conversations and yelling less and listening more. The problem is that many people, even those who call themselves gentle parents, differ on the specifics. Here is what you need to know about the latest parenting trend. The main parenting styles Psychological researchers have identified four main parenting styles: neglectful, authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Neglectful parenting has neither high levels of warmth toward the child nor rules on a child's behavior, said Nicole Johnson, a licensed professional counselor in Boise, Idaho. A kid may act out and break a toy and not get much response from their neglectful parent, who might not have attended much to how they were playing anyway. Authoritarian refers to parenting that focuses on obedience and punitive response –– think 'because I said so,' Johnson said. The child who broke the toy would likely be yelled at and sent to time-out by the authoritarian parent without much conversation beyond that. Permissive parenting focuses on warmth toward children, but without much structure or boundaries, she added. That parent would acknowledge that the child probably broke the toy out of frustration but wouldn't follow up on consequences. Authoritative parenting seeks to strike a balance between structure and warmth. 'It's more focused on the idea of improving their ability to understand what's going on with themselves, their own feelings,' Razzino said. 'The parents are really focused on having that empathy for the child and respect when they when they talk with them, and that their feelings are valid.' Still, they are 'maintaining some very firm, clear limits.' Gentle parenting is not listed among the main parenting styles. While it is popular on social media, it is a relatively new term that hasn't been described much in the scientific literature. What do influencers mean by 'gentle parenting'? Researchers Annie Pezalla and Alice Davidson sought to investigate what parenting influencers on social media meant when they talked about gentle parenting in a 2024 study. 'Those who identified as gentle really prioritized emotion regulation. These are parents that are wanting to maintain calm at all costs, if at all possible, (including) their energy and emotions,' said Pezalla, visiting assistant professor of psychology at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minnesota. 'They do look like authoritative parents, for the most part, to us, like they're trying to hold boundaries and practice consequences with their kids,' she said, 'even though they showed the kind of no-holds-barred affection to their kids that typically permissive parents show.' Gentle parenting, like authoritative parenting, emphasizes the importance of boundaries while maintaining warmth and empathy, she said. However, the concept plays out differently in different families. In her research, Pezalla asked parents who identified as gentle parents about their practices. While some resembled authoritative parents, others acted in ways that fell more in line with a permissive style, she said. Ultimately, much of what people refer to as gentle parenting on social media is just another term for authoritative parenting: maintaining connection with the child, teaching them to regulate their emotions and behavior, and enforcing boundaries as a caring authority figure, said Razzino, who is also the author of 'Awakening the Five Champions: Keys to Success for Every Teen.' Are we being too soft on kids? Imagine a child is throwing their food off their plate and onto the floor. A permissive parent might say, 'please don't do that,' and then do nothing else to enforce a boundary. An authoritarian might glare sternly and immediately move to a time-out or spanking or to send their child to bed hungry. An authoritative parent, which is what many people mean when they identify as a gentle parent, might say, 'I can see you're feeling playful, but food stays on the plate. I can give you something else to do with your hands while we have dinner, but if you throw it again, I am going to have to take the plate away,' Razzino said. Some people critique this way of parenting as being too soft on kids, saying that the world is harsh and kids will need to learn to deal with that, Johnson added. But the goal of this parenting style isn't to shield your child from accountability; rather it is to get to a calmer place for the parent and child, give kids tools for making good choices, and then enforcing a boundary with logical consequences, she said. Logical consequences are ones that relate directly to a behavior: If you smack your friend with a truck, the playdate will be over, Razzino added. For the people who understand gentle parenting as a form of authoritative parenting, there are two parts: validating that you understand the feelings they are experiencing and teaching that not every way of expressing those feelings is acceptable or productive, Johnson said. It is important to neither skip the validation step nor get too bogged down in it, Razzino added. At some point, it is important to move from talking about the feelings to making plans on how to regulate the difficult emotions and what consequences will happen if the unacceptable behavior continues. And this approach has been shown in research to be effective in raising more healthy, resilient, successful adults, Razzino said. One 2022 study found that children raised with an authoritative parenting style were more likely to achieve academically. Another study in 2020 found that a lack of this parenting style was the most important factor in low life satisfaction. We need to go easier on parents There is a downside to authoritative or gentle parenting. Staying calm, validating your child's feelings, explaining a boundary and the consequences of breaking it, and then following through with a rational consequence is a lot of work, Pezalla said. It's even more work if you weren't parented with a lot of warmth and empathy, Johnson added. With so much pressure to parent perfectly, many parents feel burnt-out trying to adhere too strictly to gentle parenting practices, according to Pezalla's research. Gentle parents 'are working so hard to be emotionally regulated 24/7 that they are burning out,' she said. 'That's what we found in the article that we published … they're stressed out of their minds.' Some online parenting influencers will say that you can't use the word no, that you have to say no, that you should pause in a grocery store meltdown to give a hug, or that you need to scoop your child up from the store floor and not allow them to continue the tantrum there, Pezalla said. Instead of worrying too much about following the one right philosophy, Pezalla recommends prioritizing the four things she has found to be what every kid needs growing up. Those include structure, warmth, acknowledgement as an individual who may need something different from their siblings, and an approach that prepares for parenting as a long game, she said. 'Everything else is like static noise to me,' Pezalla said. 'It's like the same general authoritative parenting styles, just, we're calling it something different.' And don't worry if you mess up, lose your temper or change your mind on your parenting approach, Johnson said. Kids don't need a model of a perfect human, they need to see an adult who is trying their best to be a positive authority figure, striving for empathy, practicing regulating themselves, and taking accountability when they get it wrong, she added. Hopefully, that model will be a roadmap so they can grow up doing those things, too.
