18-07-2025
I Keep Losing Things
Does MS cause this, and what can I do about it?
I've always had a problem with losing things, but lately it's gotten ridiculous. In the last four months, I've lost wallets, keys, a phone, a treasured kitchen knife, and even a couple of shirts. It's getting to be a major problem, so I have been asking for help, and I've found some really useful ideas.
One doesn't have to have multiple sclerosis (MS) to lose things, but it helps.
According to the National MS Society (NMSS), at least half of people with MS will experience some kind of unwanted changes in memory or thinking.
'Somewhere between 4 and 7 in every 10 people with MS,' they write, 'will experience some kind of changes in memory or thinking.' You can see how memory loss could make it harder to find things – Where did I put that pen? Where did I leave my car keys? Memory loss often leads to losing things.
It happens to people as they age, so a lot of ways to cope with it have been discovered. I will divide them into two categories: losing things in the home and losing them in the outside world.
Losing things at home is annoying and time wasting, but at least things usually get found eventually. The best way to prevent it is to have an ordered, uncluttered living space.
When I was young, I often heard adults say, 'A place for everything, and everything in its place.' An excellent idea, but what if you have more things than places to put them? Or what if you have so many places that you can't remember what goes where? We might have to simplify our lives to make that work. Have less stuff. Personally, I like living simply; I've never enjoyed having lots of random stuff, but others disagree.
The NMSS advises having a set place for essential things – like car keys, or your glasses – and always putting them there. Make the place specific; not just 'on the table by the door,' but 'in the blue bowl on the table by the door.' Then we have to train ourselves to consistently use the chosen space. Making organization a habit is the key.
In remembering what goes where, labels are a big adult son recently came over and labeled many of our drawers and shelves with what's supposed to live there, which makes things easier to find.
The NMSS suggests keeping important stuff in a place you visit frequently, like in a bag with pockets over the kitchen door. Label the pockets.
When we do lose things, stressing out about it makes it and wait, try to visualize where you put the thing, and it may come to you.
Sometimes my wife can find things I'm looking for, so I may ask her. And sometimes I can find things for her. I think people we live with may know our habits better than we know them ourselves, so may know where lost things are likely to be.
Choosing exact spots for the disappearing things and using them consistently is key. Then you can expand to choosing exact spots for everything, 'from your scarves and belts to your receipts and house bills.' But you have to use the system. Don't cheat because you won't remember tomorrow where you put things today.
That happened to me yesterday, and I almost lost another wallet. I have a shopping bag on my scooter where my wallet usually lives. I need to remember to put it back in the bag, but yesterday I bought something at the farmers' market, then moved on to the next booth. I kept the wallet in my lap instead of putting it back in the bag. When I got to the next purchase, the wallet was gone! I was freaked, but another shopper walking behind me had seen it fall out of my lap, picked it up, and returned it to me.
Thank God for his honesty, but from now on, I have to be more consistent in putting it back. That gets much easier if I have fewer alternative places. Stop riding around with four or five bags and just have two: one for purchases and one for personal stuff.
I also have to be slower and more careful about putting things in bags, because sometimes I think my hand is inside the bag when it's really between bags. Then things drop to the ground without me realizing it. That's how my last wallet got lost. I have to look at where I'm putting things to make sure they're really in there and to help me remember where I put them.
Technology can help
It's too bad I'm old and haven't grabbed on to the technological fixes younger people are using, but I'm going to start. For example, attaching a Bluetooth tracker to connect your keys or wallet or your glasses to your phone. You can call the wallet or maybe find it with a GPS tracker.
Your phone manufacturer probably has a Find My Phone app that will show exactly where your phone is. Check out the manufacturer's website or store. There are also 'out of range finders' that you could put on a purse — or whatever you like — that will call your phone if it gets too far away. These devices are all battery powered and cost between $20 and $50 in most cases.
