Latest news with #personalBoundaries
The Guardian
6 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
You be the judge: my mum says our family should share towels, but I think it's gross. Am I right to protest?
I have firm boundaries around personal hygiene – and bacteria thrive on wet towels Towels should be for personal use only, but my mum thinks they should be shared in our household of four. That might have been OK when I was a baby, but now I'm 21 I think it's weird. Mum has this thing about washing and the environment. She has been trying to wash clothes less, and uses these washing bags that capture microplastic fibres to prevent them from going out into the water supply. I support this, but not at the expense of my personal hygiene. She wants our family to only use one or two towels a week, which means the four of us sharing them – my younger brother, Lewis, who is five, my parents and me. I think this is totally gross. Mum says 'towels dry, it's fine' but that's not true. Bacteria thrives on towels and the idea that a towel is clean just because it has dried misses a crucial point: moisture breeds bacteria, especially in damp, warm environments like bathrooms. I don't want everyone else's germs on my body. A towel that's been used even once can carry a lot of bacteria. Lewis is a messy child. Sharing a towel with him will increase my risk of fungal infections, as he towels after his swimming club. The idea of using his towel is disgusting to me. Like most young women, I have firm boundaries around hygiene. Growing up, I didn't think much about my mum making us share towels, but I began to notice it when I got older. At 16 I said I didn't want to do it any more and started using a fresh towel every time I showered – and got told off for it. I then compromised and started using the same towel for a week, thinking it was just for me. But what I didn't know was that Mum was using the same towel to dry herself and Lewis. When I found out, I freaked out. Now I've started hiding my towel in my room so no one else uses it. Mum thinks I'm being a diva, but everyone having their own towel isn't an indulgence – it keeps us all clean. Using someone else's dirty towel, even if they are family, is gross. I always shared towels with my family growing up – older generations don't worry about this stuff From a mother's perspective, insisting everyone use a different towel every single day is wasteful. It means more laundry, more water, more electricity, and more mental load. When you're juggling work, meals, school runs and everything else, having the kids share a clean, dry towel is a simple way to reduce the chaos. It's not unhygienic if the towel is used on clean, just-showered bodies and hung up to dry between uses. Ava wanted a new towel after every single shower and I told her that was contributing to the destruction of the planet, and not good for my mental health. She said she would wash her own towels but I have yet to see that happen. She always just adds her laundry to my pile and then hopes I won't notice. Ava's obsession with personal space is relatively new. She has become more demanding since returning home from university a month ago. I think she's ready to move out. She's taken to hiding her towel, but I just think we should share them. If one starts to smell or look questionable I'd wash it sooner, but if it's dry and clean, it's fine. I do a regular weekly wash of the towels. I always shared towels with my family growing up. Older generations didn't think about this stuff – we didn't have time. There was often only one or two towels to go round, and nobody keeled over from it. My husband and I were sharing towels with Lewis and Ava until she was old enough to start protesting. Teaching kids to share and not get precious over tiny things builds resilience and cooperation. It instills the idea that comfort doesn't always have to come with individual ownership. Ava isn't a germaphobe with other things, like sharing my headphones or cleaning up after herself, so I find it funny she has become so obsessive about sharing towels. She needs to remember there's a difference between good hygiene and becoming germ-obsessed over things that pose little risk. Should Lynsey give Ava her own towel? Sign up to Inside Saturday The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend. after newsletter promotion Ava has already said she'll use one towel for the whole week so that lessens the laundry load a lot. The guilt‑tripping about the planet and mental health seems a bit excessive over this one 32 It's completely reasonable to ask for a towel for sole use. I understand washing can get overwhelming, but an additional towel for the sake of Ava feeling comfortable and clean is really not a 30 It's perfectly reasonable for Ava to draw the line at towel-sharing. After all, they don't just dry you off, they double as exfoliators for dead skin – hardly something you'd want to inherit from anyone, even family. Lynsey should respect that boundary, and, in return, Ava could help with the 50 I am absolutely with Ava on this one. You dry intimate areas with a towel, the last thing I would want to do is share it with anyone else – even family. I sympathise with Lynsey's environmental concerns, but surely Ava can have one towel a week for her own personal 45 I am an acknowledged towel thief in my family. I think it's fine to save the environment and the water bill by sharing towels – you're already clean when you use one, after all. Anyway, a few shared germs will keep your immune system on its toes. Kitty, 33 In our online poll, tell us: who is in the right? The poll closes on Wednesday 16 July at 10am BST We asked whether Cleo should stop filling her shared flat with plant clippings.93% of you said yes – Cleo is guilty 7% of you said no – Cleo is not guilty
Yahoo
25-05-2025
- Automotive
- Yahoo
Woman Says She Doesn't Want Her ‘Rude and Intrusive' Aunt to Visit After Moving into a New House
A woman shared on the community forum Mumsnet that she recently moved into a new house and doesn't want her "rude" and "intrusive" aunt to visit She explained that her aunt is always asking "nosy" questions about her life, her finances and more The woman asked readers if she's wrong to not want her aunt to see her new homeA woman has had enough of her aunt's "nosy" behavior. She shared her story in a post on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet, explaining that she and her husband recently bought a new home — and she's not keen about her aunt visiting because of her propensity to ask prying personal questions. "My aunty is very nosy and I'm not sure if IABU [I am being unreasonable] or if it is just how the older generation are," the OP (original poster) wrote. "She will always ask about work and how much money I make, how much money I have in the bank, etc. I find this really rude and intrusive." She said that now that she has a new house, she knows her aunt and uncle "will want to visit to have a good nose [around] and ask a bunch of questions." "I am not really comfortable with this, and DH [dear husband] finds them both rude. It is harmless — it's just more annoying than anything else," the OP wrote. She shared that her mom's theory on the situation is that her aunt "hates the thought of anyone else in the family earning more money than her own kids and having a better house." The OP noted that when she previously purchased a new car, her aunt asked her mom a series of questions such as what the make of the vehicle was and how much it cost — behavior she found "very weird." Seeking advice and opinions, she concluded her post by asking, "[Am I being unreasonable] to not want them to come round?" Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. In the comments, many people agreed with the OP's mom's suggestion that her aunt sees everything as a competition within the family. "Your mum is right. People who are that intrusive and want all the details are desperate to make sure you're not doing better financially than they are. One-upmanship is a boring game, and I really wouldn't want to bother with her," one person wrote. Several commenters advised the OP to be direct with her aunt and firmly tell her that such personal questions make her uncomfortable. "If they do come round, and that's a big if, then when they start asking just say please stop asking so many personal questions, we are private people and these conversations are getting boring now. Hopefully, they'll get upset and just go home," one person said. Yet another commenter chimed in: "If she challenges you about not telling her about your financial status or inviting her to your new home, I'd be tempted to be honest and say it's a lose-lose situation for you as, due to her fixation on finances and her constantly pitting family members against each other, she will either gloat if her kids have more or be annoyed if you do." is now available in the Apple App Store! Download it now for the most binge-worthy celeb content, exclusive video clips, astrology updates and more! "You don't have to answer her questions and you don't have to have her in your house," they added. Someone else even suggested that the OP turn the tables on her aunt to make her point. "Any questions they ask about your bank balance etc., be sure to fire the same questions right back at them. They'll soon get the message," they wrote. Read the original article on People
