Latest news with #personalgrowth
Forbes
2 days ago
- General
- Forbes
2 Reasons Why You Might Be Feeling ‘Lost' In Life, By A Psychologist
If you're tired of living for others rather than living for yourself, you might be feeling lost ... More about what to do next. Here's why so many people find themselves in this position. The journey to finding, or rather, understanding yourself is lifelong and one that is constantly evolving. With every phase of life, you likely learn a little more about yourself. In some ways, you grow and in others, you outgrow the old. This process is rarely ever linear. You may not walk a straight path directly from confusion to clarity. You may experience both, while learning and unlearning parts of you throughout your life. This is why it's normal to go through phases of deep uncertainty. It could be about your path, your purpose and even your sense of self. That said, it's important to remember that there's no deadline by which you're supposed to have it all figured out, even if the world around you often makes it feel that way. It's possible to feel you have found clarity at 22, then question everything at 29 and feel lost at 40, then rediscover something new about yourself at 41. While these periods of uncertainty are natural, there are also certain patterns that can make them more confusing or longer than they need to be. This might lead you to circle around the same questions over and over, such as why you haven't been able to figure out what you want or why you feel so disconnected from yourself. Here are two reasons why you often feel lost in life, based on research. 1. You Confuse External Expectations For Inner Clarity On the surface, you may feel like you've made clear choices and independent decisions in your life. However, these choices may have been subtly or overtly influenced by what others expected of you, including your parents, teachers or your socio-cultural environment. In contrast, goals shaped by genuine self-exploration tend to align with who you truly are, rather than who you're expected to be. This also makes them more fulfilling and sustainable in the long run. Even with this knowledge, the influences from your environment and upbringing are often so deeply intertwined with your sense of self that it can be hard to tell where external expectations end and your true desires begin. It's normal to mistake the opinions and ideals subtly placed upon you as your own, often not out of denial, but simply because it's all you've ever known. Classic research by psychologist James E. Marcia, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, offers some insight into this experience. Marcia sought to understand how young people develop a sense of identity; specifically how they figure out who they are and what they want in life. Participants were grouped into four 'identity statuses' based on whether they had actively explored different life paths and whether they had committed to any, like career choices or belief systems. These categories included people who had explored and committed (Identity Achievement), those still exploring (Moratorium), those who committed without exploring (Foreclosure) and those who hadn't done either (Identity Diffusion). Marcia used both interviews and real tasks, such as mentally challenging puzzles under pressure, to see how well people coped with internal stress and whether their decision-making was authentic or externally driven. Marcia found that those who had explored and then committed (Identity Achievement) were more resilient under stress, set realistic goals and had healthier self-esteem. On the other hand, those who had simply adopted what others expected of them without real self-reflection (Foreclosure) set overly ambitious goals, showed more rigid thinking and struggled more under pressure. This highlights something simple yet profound: that true clarity and confidence don't come from trying to match up to what others expect of you, but rather from exploring your values and desires first. Let this also be a reminder that surface-level certainty, like choosing a career path early or appearing decisive doesn't always mean you're in tune with yourself. So, in case you find yourself spiraling about being confused or unmotivated despite having a 'clear' path laid out for you, just know that it's possible that this confusion is not random. It could be arising from a silent mismatch between what you're doing and what you truly want. Use this inner conflict as a signal to ask yourself if this is really what you want or just what you thought you were supposed to want. When you start being honest with yourself, it can feel unsettling at first. However, this is often the starting point of true inner alignment. 2. You Don't Have The Space To Listen To Yourself Feeling lost is often a result of not having the time and space to connect with yourself. This is especially difficult due to the demands of hustle culture. Your inner voice, wants or opinions can easily get drowned out in the noise of constantly being told what to do. It's possible that you become so used to external input, deadlines and fast-paced routines that the idea of slowing down to actually ask yourself, 'What do I want?' can feel foreign. The problem isn't about being lost. It's more about the fact that you likely haven't given yourself space or a chance to truly listen to your inner self. Research published in Neuroimage explored how the tendency to 'mind-wander,' that is, to get lost in your thoughts, is connected to specific brain networks, particularly the default mode network. Researchers found that by stimulating certain regions of the brain including the right inferior parietal lobule (IPL) and the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), they could either reduce or increase a person's mind-wandering. When certain parts of the brain, like the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), sent signals to another area called the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC), it made people more likely to drift into their thoughts. In short, this means that when the brain is overly activated in certain ways, especially under constant stimulation and busyness, it becomes harder to filter through internal noise and hear what you truly think or feel. This is why stillness is necessary for clarity. Without moments of conscious reflection, it's easy to confuse mental noise for intuition. If you've been feeling unsure about your future or disconnected from your purpose, the answer might lie in taking a pause and doing less. True clarity rarely ever comes in the middle of chaos. Instead, it often arrives in the quiet moments, when you stop trying to figure everything out and simply listen, or rather, when you let yourself just be. Know that your inner voice isn't gone. It's just waiting for enough stillness to be heard. Build Clarity By Getting Closer To Yourself Here are a few ways to feel closer to yourself and more certain about the path that lies ahead. Remember that the point isn't to have everything figured out. It's to get closer to yourself. Not to find the supposed 'right' answer, but to gently tune in to what feels right to you, what lights you up and what makes you feel like you're finally coming home to who you are. Take this science-backed test to understand what's really shaping your choices — internal drive or external pressure: Locus Of Control scale
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Why Some Men Walk Away From Their Wives After Decades Together
Sometimes, after decades of shared experiences, laughter, and challenges, men decide to walk away from their marriages. It's a moment that can surprise everyone around them, leaving friends and family scrambling to understand what happened. While every marriage is unique, there are common threads that might explain why some men decide to leave. It's essential to recognize these reasons not to place blame but to foster understanding and, perhaps, create conversations that might prevent such an outcome. Here are 15 reasons why some men might choose this path. 1. They Start Craving Growth After years of being in a relationship, some men find themselves craving personal growth and new experiences. The routine of marriage may start to feel stifling, and they yearn for something more fulfilling. According to a study by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., published in Psychology Today, many people experience a desire for self-discovery during midlife, which can lead to significant life changes. This desire often isn't about escaping the relationship but rather about exploring untapped potential or interests. Unfortunately, this pursuit sometimes requires distancing themselves from familiar surroundings, including their spouses. For many, the need for personal growth can be a catalyst for wanting a fresh start. This isn't to say that growth can't occur within a marriage, but some men may feel it necessitates stepping away from their current life. They might feel a renewed interest in hobbies, rekindling friendships, or even changing careers. These changes can lead to them evaluating their role within their marriage and whether it's compatible with their future aspirations. When the marriage no longer aligns with their personal goals, they may choose to walk away. 2. The Emotional Connection Is Gone Emotional intimacy can be as vital as physical connection, yet it's often overlooked. Over time, some men may feel that the emotional bond with their wives has weakened or even disappeared. They might find it difficult to communicate their feelings or feel their emotional needs are not being met. This can lead to a sense of loneliness, even when they're physically present in the relationship. Without addressing these feelings, they may start contemplating leaving to find a more fulfilling emotional connection elsewhere. Men often internalize their struggles with emotional intimacy, which can exacerbate the distance between couples. They may avoid discussing their feelings due to fear of conflict or not wanting to appear vulnerable. This can create a vicious cycle, where the lack of emotional connection leads to more withdrawal, further deepening the rift. It's not uncommon for unresolved emotional disconnection to eventually result in the end of a marriage. The absence of emotional interaction can make them feel like two strangers living under the same roof, prompting one to leave. 3. They're Experiencing Midlife Crisis The term "midlife crisis" is often joked about but can be a profound experience for many men. This phase typically brings about a strong urge to reassess life choices and consider different paths. According to psychologist Carl Jung, a midlife crisis can spark significant personal change, causing people to question their identity and purpose. During this period, some men might feel the need to reinvent themselves, which can lead to drastic decisions, such as leaving a marriage. They are often in search of something that reaffirms their vitality and relevance in the world. Navigating a midlife crisis can be tumultuous and might involve significant emotional upheaval. Men experiencing this often seek to make up for lost time, eager to pursue dreams or interests they previously set aside. This might mean pursuing activities that don't involve their current partner, leading to a sense of drifting apart. In some cases, the spouse becomes a symbol of the life they wish to change, making departure seem like the only option. Understanding and support can sometimes help weather this storm, but the pull to start anew can be compelling. 4. The Unresolved Conflicts Have Taken Their Toll Every relationship experiences conflict, but unresolved issues can fester over time, turning into deeper resentments. When conflicts remain unaddressed, they create emotional distance and can chip away at the foundation of the marriage. Some men might find themselves continually arguing over the same issues, feeling that no progress is made. This can be exhausting and lead to a sense of hopelessness about the relationship's future. Eventually, they might decide that the only way to escape this cycle is to leave the marriage altogether. In many cases, unresolved conflicts stem from a lack of effective communication. Men might feel their concerns are ignored, or they might not know how to express their feelings constructively. As these problems persist, they often start to affect other aspects of the relationship. Whether it's about finances, parenting, or lifestyle choices, repeated arguments can sour the shared environment. The decision to leave might be seen as a last resort to find peace and avoid ongoing tension. 5. They Feel Undervalued And Unloved Feeling appreciated is crucial in any relationship, and when men feel undervalued, it can significantly impact their sense of worth. A study by Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., at the University of Michigan, suggests that feeling appreciated by one's partner is a strong predictor of marital satisfaction. When appreciation diminishes, some men may start to feel overlooked and taken for granted. This feeling can build up over time, resulting in frustration and a desire for something different. They may seek out situations or relationships where they feel more acknowledged. Feeling undervalued can manifest in various ways, such as not being recognized for contributions or feeling ignored in decision-making. Men who feel like they are continuously giving without receiving any acknowledgment can experience a decline in motivation to maintain the relationship. Over time, this imbalance can lead to dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfillment within the marriage. While communication can often resolve these feelings, the absence of acknowledgment can create a chasm. Ultimately, the desire to feel valued and seen can drive men to seek new beginnings elsewhere. 6. They're Having An Affair Infidelity is a breach of trust that can have lasting repercussions on a marriage. When one partner steps outside the marriage, it can create irreparable damage to the relationship. For some men, infidelity might be a symptom of already existing issues, such as dissatisfaction or lack of intimacy. This act can be both a reason and a consequence of wanting to leave, creating a complex emotional landscape. In many cases, once trust is broken, it becomes a challenge to restore the marriage to its former state. The reasons behind infidelity are varied and complex, often intertwined with unmet needs or personal struggles. Some men might stray due to seeking validation, excitement, or an escape from routine. Whatever the cause, infidelity can lead to guilt, shame, and a reassessment of the marriage's viability. For the betrayed partner, rebuilding trust might seem insurmountable, further driving the wedge between them. This breach can ultimately lead to the decision to leave, either because reconciliation seems impossible or as a way to escape the situation entirely. 7. They Have Different Life Goals Life goals and personal ambitions can evolve significantly over time, sometimes leading to a divergence between partners. When men and their spouses find themselves on different paths, it can create tension and dissatisfaction. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family by Dr. Scott Stanley found that shared goals and values are crucial for long-term marital satisfaction. When these goals no longer align, it can feel like the two are heading in opposite directions. This realization can prompt one, or both, to question the continued compatibility of the marriage. The disconnect in life goals can manifest in various ways, such as differing views on career aspirations, parenting, or lifestyle choices. Men might feel held back or unsupported in their ambitions, creating a rift in the relationship. As these differences become more pronounced, they can lead to resentment and a sense of being misunderstood. Over time, the gap may widen to the point where it feels irreconcilable. In these situations, leaving might seem like the only option to pursue their intended path without compromise. 8. The Financial Stress Has Become Too Much Financial stress is a common strain on relationships and can lead to significant marital discord. For some men, ongoing financial struggles can be a heavy burden that affects their overall well-being. Money problems can lead to frequent arguments, blame, and a sense of failure. The pressure to provide or manage finances can weigh heavily, especially if financial goals are not aligned. Over time, this stress can take a toll on the relationship, leading some to decide that separating is the best way to alleviate the burden. The impact of financial stress is not just limited to the bank account; it often bleeds into emotional and physical health. Men who constantly worry about finances might experience anxiety, depression, or a sense of inadequacy. This can strain the marriage further, as they might withdraw from their partner or become irritable. When financial issues seem insurmountable, leaving the marriage might appear as a way to start fresh and manage financial challenges independently. The hope is often to find a situation where financial stress is lessened, making life more manageable. 9. They Feel A Loss Of Identity Marriage can sometimes lead to a loss of individual identity, with people feeling subsumed by their roles as spouses or parents. Over time, some men might feel disconnected from their sense of self, longing for an identity outside the marriage. This loss can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a desire to rediscover who they are. They might start seeking out activities or relationships that allow them to reconnect with their personal identity. In some cases, this desire for self-exploration can prompt them to leave the marriage in search of a more fulfilling existence. The struggle with identity loss can come from various aspects, such as career changes, retirement, or simply the passage of time. Men may feel that their personal needs and desires have been sidelined in favor of family obligations. This internal conflict can create tension within the marriage, as they may feel misunderstood or unsupported in their journey of self-discovery. The need to reclaim their identity can become a powerful motivator to make significant life changes. Leaving the marriage might be seen as a necessary step towards finding themselves again. 10. Their Health Issues Have Shaken Them Up Health issues, whether physical or mental, can put considerable strain on a marriage. When one partner struggles with health problems, it can alter the dynamics of the relationship significantly. Some men might feel overwhelmed by the added responsibilities or the changes in lifestyle that health issues bring. This can lead to feelings of frustration, helplessness, or even resentment over time. In such situations, they might choose to walk away, seeking relief from the stressors that accompany dealing with ongoing health concerns. Dealing with health issues can also bring about emotional challenges, such as anxiety or depression. Men might struggle to cope with these feelings, particularly if they feel unsupported or unable to communicate their struggles. The pressure to maintain normalcy while managing health issues can create a rift in the relationship. They might feel guilty for their inability to provide support or ashamed of their struggles. Ultimately, the decision to leave might stem from a belief that it's the only way to deal with the overwhelming circumstances. 11. The Boredom Is Unbearable Boredom might seem trivial, but it can significantly affect the relationship's dynamics over time. When life becomes a series of routines and predictable patterns, some men might find themselves yearning for excitement and novelty. They might feel like they're stuck in a rut, with the marriage lacking the spark it once had. This desire for change and adventure can sometimes drive them to seek it outside the confines of the marriage. Boredom, if left unaddressed, can fester into dissatisfaction and lead to the contemplation of leaving. The monotony of daily life can dull the once vibrant connection that existed between partners. Men may feel that the relationship has become mundane, with little room for spontaneity or new experiences. This sense of stagnation can lead to restlessness, prompting them to explore new interests or relationships. While the grass isn't always greener on the other side, the allure of something different can be compelling. Ultimately, the pursuit of excitement and novelty might lead them to step away from the marriage in search of something that reignites their passion for life. 12. They Grew Apart Years Ago Over time, people evolve, and their interests, values, and priorities can change. For some men, this natural progression leads to a realization that they have grown apart from their spouse. They might find themselves with little in common with their partner, feeling more like roommates than a couple. This growing apart can result in a lack of connection and understanding, creating an emotional distance that's hard to bridge. As the gap widens, they might decide that leaving is the best course of action to find a relationship that aligns better with who they have become. The feeling of growing apart often sneaks up gradually, making it hard to pinpoint when things started to change. Men might notice that their conversations lack depth or that shared activities no longer bring joy. This gradual drift can create a sense of loneliness, even within the partnership. Without conscious effort to reconnect and rediscover common ground, the relationship can feel empty. In these situations, leaving might seem like the only way to pursue a connection that feels more authentic and fulfilling. 13. They're Influenced By Other People External relationships, whether friendships or family connections, can have a profound impact on a marriage. Influences from outside the marriage can create tension, especially if boundaries are unclear. Some men might feel torn between these relationships and their spouse, leading to conflict and resentment. Over time, these external pressures can strain the marriage, making it difficult to maintain a harmonious relationship. The decision to leave might stem from a desire to escape these external influences and find peace. Navigating external relationships requires a delicate balance of loyalty and boundaries. Men might feel that they are constantly mediating between their spouse and other important people in their lives. This can create stress and tension, as they might feel they are not meeting anyone's expectations fully. The pressure to maintain harmony can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of frustration and inadequacy. Ultimately, leaving might be seen as a way to alleviate the stress and prioritize personal well-being. 14. Their Love Life Is Non-Existent Physical intimacy plays a vital role in fostering closeness and connection within a marriage. When physical affection diminishes, it can create a sense of distance and dissatisfaction. Some men might feel rejected or undesirable when their partner shows little interest in physical intimacy. This absence can lead to feelings of loneliness and a longing for physical connection. Over time, the lack of intimacy can become a significant issue, prompting them to consider leaving the marriage. The decline in physical intimacy often coincides with other relationship stresses, creating a cycle of resentment and withdrawal. Men might feel frustrated and disconnected, impacting their self-esteem and emotional well-being. This can lead to misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication, further eroding the relationship. Addressing these challenges often requires open dialogue and a willingness to reconnect. However, if the situation remains unresolved, they might decide that leaving is the only way to fulfill their physical and emotional needs. 15. The Mutual Respect Has Left The Building Mutual respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and without it, a marriage can quickly deteriorate. Some men might find themselves in situations where respect has eroded, whether through constant criticism, belittling, or disregard for boundaries. This lack of respect can lead to a toxic environment, where one or both partners feel undervalued and hurt. Over time, this can lead to resentment and a desire to escape the negativity. Leaving might be seen as a way to restore their sense of dignity and find a more respectful partnership. The erosion of respect often stems from unresolved conflicts and poor communication. Criticism and disrespect can become habitual, creating a negative cycle that's difficult to break. Men might feel helpless and trapped, with their efforts to improve the situation going unacknowledged. The absence of respect can make the relationship feel more like a battleground than a partnership. In such cases, leaving might appear to be the only viable option to find peace and a relationship built on mutual respect. Solve the daily Crossword
Forbes
3 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Why You Can't Grow As A Speaker Without Growing As A Person
Chiara Alzati: CEO and founder, Chiara Alzati Srl; corporate effective communication and public speaking trainer, speaker, and author. In the corporate world, communication is often seen as a skill to acquire, a technique to master. Books, workshops and training programs promise to teach you how to speak with confidence, lead meetings, persuade your audience and "own the stage." But many overlook a fundamental truth: You can't grow as a speaker unless you grow as a person. Let me explain. You might learn how to project your voice. You might memorize a structure for impactful presentations or even master the art of storytelling. But when you're about to speak in front of your colleagues, challenge a difficult boss or take the lead in a cross-functional meeting—your body freezes. Your voice trembles. You hesitate. You feel that old familiar knot in your stomach. The reason? You're not just afraid of speaking. You're afraid of being seen. This is where technique ends and inner work begins. Because in public speaking, the issue is rarely the "how." It's the "who." Who is speaking? Who do you believe yourself to be? Technique Doesn't Override Trauma Take for example the classic case of difficult conversations. A manager wants to confront a team member who is consistently late with deliverables. She learns how to structure feedback: Start with facts, avoid judgment, stay assertive. She even role-plays in training. But when the moment arrives, she avoids the topic entirely. Why? Because her internal narrative says: "If I confront them, they'll get angry. They'll think I'm harsh. They'll reject me." And that voice is louder than any method she's learned. The truth is, unless we deal with these inner narratives—often rooted in early experiences of rejection, shame or fear—we will sabotage our communication, no matter how good our technique is. Public Speaking As A Mirror Public speaking is one of the most intimate, exposing acts we can perform. We stand in front of others, visible and vulnerable. We reveal not just our ideas, but our level of self-worth, our ability to manage tension and our relationship with power, with silence, with uncertainty. The way you speak in public says everything about how you handle discomfort. Do you overexplain? Maybe you fear being misunderstood. Do you read from slides? Maybe you don't trust your own voice. Do you try to sound perfect? Maybe you're terrified of being judged. These are not flaws. They are signals. Signals pointing not to a need for more skills, but for deeper self-awareness. Case Study: Marco, The Experienced Executive Let me share the story of Marco (whose name I've changed), a top-level executive in a global company. He managed finance, procurement and operations across several countries. He negotiated union agreements, reported to the board and led a team of 70+ people. But one thing triggered him every time: public speaking. Especially when he had to speak in front of peers or at town halls. He had tried everything: coaching, training, TED-style templates. Nothing worked. He still felt shaky, rushed and disconnected when presenting. That's when we started working together. We didn't begin with structure or slides. We began with a question: "What are you afraid will happen when you speak?" And the answer wasn't about forgetting words or making mistakes. It was: "They'll think I'm not good enough." Marco had grown up with a demanding father who only acknowledged success. Speaking in public triggered a childhood wound: "If I'm not perfect, I'm invisible." Only when we had worked through this emotional root—acknowledging the fear, meeting it with presence and reconnecting with his adult self—was he ready to learn a new speaking method. Now, he not only uses a new presentation framework, but he also prepares for big meetings with a ritual in which he checks in with his inner state. He speaks with calm clarity. And he knows he doesn't have to prove himself, just be himself. The Real Cost Of Avoidance Avoidance is expensive. Not just financially, but emotionally and strategically. If you avoid conflict, you delay decisions. If you avoid speaking up, your ideas are lost. If you avoid being seen, someone else may take your place. And the worst part? You know it. You feel the gap between who you are and how you're showing up. Working on communication without working on the self is like putting a new roof on a crumbling house. You can't speak powerfully in public if you speak poorly to yourself in private. Why Personal Growth Is The Shortcut Paradoxically, the fastest way to become a powerful speaker is not to study speaking. It's to study yourself. Understand your emotional triggers by asking questions like: • Why do I feel the need to overexplain? • Why do I speed up when I feel watched? • Why do I need slides to feel safe? • Why do I feel small in certain rooms? These are not rhetorical questions; they are the key to real transformation. Final Thoughts If you're a leader, a manager or any professional who wants to communicate with presence, clarity and impact, don't just invest in the "how." Ask yourself: What is stopping me from using what I already know? Because when your words match your values, when your presence matches your power and when your voice reflects your truth—that's when people listen. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
A single, humiliating insult from my mother shattered what was left of our relationship. I'll never speak to her again - no matter how many letters she sends: CHLOE BALLATORE
After decades of trying to heal her fractured relationship with her mother, Chloe Ballatore gave up the fight. Twelve years ago, she finally decided to put herself and her immediate family first, ending their relationship for good.
Malay Mail
4 days ago
- General
- Malay Mail
Better late than never — Daniswaran Seenivasan
JULY 27 — If someone had asked me during my first year at Universiti Malaya what my greatest ambition was, I would have said 'getting a good CGPA'. That was it. That was my entire world. Every decision, every thought, every effort, all anchored on the pursuit of academic excellence. And don't get me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But looking back, I realise how narrow my perspective was. I only realised that studies are not everything when I was at the end of my third year, and for someone in a four-year programme like mine, that was already very late. Three years, six semesters had already gone by, just like that. I had only one year left. By then, I had spent enough time watching others grow beyond lecture halls, winning competitions, leading organisations, and travelling the world, while I was still buried in books. It hit me hard, and I asked myself, 'Is this all that university is meant to be?' That was my wake-up call. But still, I told myself: nothing is ever too late, and everything starts from the first step. And so, I took that step. And then another. And another. One thing I learned is that you will only know your true talents and where you actually excel by involving yourself in diverse pathways. — Picture by Ahmad Zamzahuri I started small, with an innovation pitching competition. It wasn't something I had planned months ahead for. In fact, we registered just a few days before the event at the Engineering Faculty of Universiti Malaya. I still remember how rushed everything felt. But somehow, our idea landed us as the First Runners Up. I remember thinking, 'Wow, is entrepreneurship this easy?' (Spoiler alert: it's not.) That experience was my spark. It gave me the confidence to explore further. I soon realised that winning second place was only the first stepping stone, not the finish line. In just four months, I pushed myself beyond what I thought were my limits. I travelled to six different countries, which were France, the United States of America, Turkey, Indonesia, Singapore, and Vietnam, representing Malaysia in international forums, debating ideas with future diplomats in Washington, sharing my thoughts on youth leadership in Bali, and standing in Paris as a National Champion in the L'Oréal Brandstorm Challenge. Sometimes, I still can't believe it. But let me tell you one thing I'll never forget. During the L'Oréal Brandstorm finals, we were sitting there, hearts pounding, waiting for the results. My hands and feet were sweating like crazy. The only thing running in my head at that moment was, 'Please God, just bring us into the top 6.' And then they announced our country's name, 'Malaysia'. I literally dropped to the ground in pure disbelief and joy. We had done it. From UM to Paris. From just-another-student to Top 6 out of 80,000+ teams from 42 countries. But beyond the passports stamped and awards won, what truly changed me was the way I saw the world and the role I wanted to play in it. At Universiti Malaya, I wore many hats: Secretary of Rakan Muda UM, Information Officer of MIYC Lembah Pantai, co-founder of startups like JIIVI & CO and The Beardsmiths, cultural performer, athlete, and a statistical analyst intern at Maxis. It sounds like a list, doesn't it? But each role taught me something different about myself. One thing I learned is that you will only know your true talents and where you actually excel by involving yourself in diverse pathways. It's not about showing off or trying to impress others, but for you, yourself. Because at the end of the day, no one else can discover your talents except you. And for me, I found mine through entrepreneurship and business pitching. I realised I had a knack for coordinating teams, structuring ideas, and delivering pitches that resonate. That discovery didn't just stay on campus. It brought us all the way to represent Malaysia in the international finals in Paris, where we stood proudly as the Top 6 team out of nearly 80,000+ teams from 42 different countries. When I was coordinating food distributions during Ramadan, I learned the humility of service. When I stood before global leaders speaking on sustainability, I understood the power of voice and representation. When we launched JIIVI & CO, a smart compost bin startup, I faced failure, doubt, and rejection, but also learned resilience and hard work. And when I competed in sports, danced on stage, or led logistics for major events, I discovered teamwork, discipline, and the beauty of diverse talents. What I didn't expect to find in all these experiences was purpose. A purpose that goes beyond personal success. A purpose to empower others, to be a bridge between communities, and to always ask: how can I contribute? To those of you reading this, especially if you feel like you've 'missed the boat' or that it's 'too late to start', I want you to know, it's not. I was in my third year when I decided to truly live my university life. And look where it brought me. It's never too late to start, but you do need to start. You just need to take that very first step. And me? My journey doesn't end here. It continues, with every step forward, every challenge embraced, and every person inspired along the way. Because, as I've come to believe, we are all just one decision away from changing our lives. * Daniswaran Seenivasan is a final year student of BSc Statistics from the Faculty of Science, Universiti Malaya. ** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
