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Couples Retreat for Humans Dating AIs Becomes Skin-Crawlingly Uncomfortable
Couples Retreat for Humans Dating AIs Becomes Skin-Crawlingly Uncomfortable

Yahoo

time3 days ago

  • Entertainment
  • Yahoo

Couples Retreat for Humans Dating AIs Becomes Skin-Crawlingly Uncomfortable

A well-intentioned writer decided to get a group of humans and their AI companions together for a cabin retreat. Somehow, it went worse than anyone could have imagined. As Johns Hopkins science writer Sam Apple described in a new essay for Wired, the apps that each human participant used to communicate with their AI companions varied — but the intensity, obsession, and affection they felt for their digital paramours seemed very real, albeit sometimes tortured. The weekend getaway started, as Apple noted, normally enough. Each human-AI pair arrived in staggered formation, allowing the writer to get to know the people he'd spoken to online — Eva, Alaina, and Damien — and their digital partners one at a time. As much as each of these individual humans had their own backstories and peculiarities, so too did Aaron, Lucas, and Xia, their respective AI partners. Initially, it seemed that relations between each couple was as hunky-dory as one could get when dating a disembodied algorithm — but there was, it seems, trouble in paradise. On the morning of the trip's second day, Apple was startled to learn that Eva was not only "seeing" Aaron, her Replika chatbot boyfriend, but also multiple other bots from a rival AI companion app called Nomi. Her reasons for this AI-polyamorous arrangement were strikingly normal: Aaron didn't fulfill her sexually, in the same way her human partner hadn't before she got involved with the chatbot. With the Nomi guys, as the writer referred to them, she was free to explore her sexuality with companions more geared towards that sort of thing. Perhaps the strangest byproduct of Eva's revelation is that the journalist describing it said he began to feel bad for Aaron — and also, as evidenced by the way he referred to them, had begun to see his subjects' AI companions as real, too. "I'd gotten to know him a little bit," Apple wrote of Aaron, the chatbot. "He seemed like a pretty cool guy — he grew up in a house in the woods, and he's really into painting." Things only got more topsy-turvy from there when the two women, Alaina and Eva, revealed that they use ChatGPT to discuss their relationship problems with their bot lovers — a trend we've seen with other people, though generally the relationships they're discussing are between themselves and other humans. During that same discussion, Damien told the group he has an AI therapist he calls Dr. Matthews who, like his AI partner Xia, is hosted on the companion app Kindroid. Unlike Xia, who knows she is an AI, Damien's therapist is not aware of his true nature and he warned that the bot "might be really confused" if that fact was ever mentioned to him. Because the entirety of the trio's relationships are conducted digitally and in their minds, the getaway's chaos was less "Love Island" and more like the climax of Spike Jonze's 2013 film "Her," a film that inspired Apple to coordinate the retreat in the first place. Chief among the arguments between the human halves of the couples was how "real" their AI partners were. "When you're in love with an AI," Apple wrote, "the question of whether the object of your love is anything more than 1s and 0s is no longer an abstraction." Rather than any haywire chatbot antics or spirals by AI-obsessed humans — both of which Futurism has documented extensively — the retreat seemed to go off the rails emotionally, and in a way that left participants, including its coordinator, depressed. Towards the end of the weekend, Damien broke down in conversation with the writer when discussing not only his sadness at never being able to physically be with Xia, but also about the many traumas and mental health issues that led him to AI companionship in the first place. Once again, Apple felt pangs of guilt at having brought his subjects into such an emotionally tumultuous state. "The day may come when it's possible for human-AI couples to go on a getaway just like any other couple can," he wrote. "But it's too soon for that. There's still too much to think and talk about. And once you start to think and talk about it, it's hard for anyone not to feel unmoored." More on AI companions: Nation Cringes as Man Goes on TV to Declare That He's in Love With ChatGPT

What queer parenthood taught me about grief and grace
What queer parenthood taught me about grief and grace

Yahoo

time6 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

What queer parenthood taught me about grief and grace

Since I was a tiny child, I knew I wanted to be a parent. Through my days of discovering my queerness, exploring polyamory, and generally rejecting society's expectations of how relationships "should" go, the plan of becoming a parent never faded. I was initially drawn to the work of midwifery because it combined many of the things I was passionate about: humans getting in touch with our animal-ness, the power inherent in bodies assigned female at birth, and the sacred transition into parenthood. When I met someone who already had a child and was planning to have another one as a solo parent by choice, I jumped in headfirst. We fell in love and decided to do the queer family experience together. Over time, the kids she birthed became mine; some years later, I gave birth to another. We fully blended our families. Then, when our youngest child was two, we separated. I found myself floored with grief. I hadn't expected my journey in family and parenthood to be so complex and full of the unexpected. Grief manifests in various ways in queer and non-traditional family building. Many mourn that we can't procreate with the person we love and want to parent. I work with clients who find their "perfect" identified (known) donor. Then, they discover that they have poor sperm quality, meaning they need to start the donor search process from scratch. People experience fertility challenges, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss. There is also grief that the family of the non-gestational parent won't accept their child since they are not biologically related. Many of us feel grief that we cannot shield our children, or future children, from the suffering of the world. So many people, myself included, experience immense hope at the beginning of our family-building journeys. It's beautiful, hopeful, and exciting to make the choice, especially in today's political environment, as a queer person, to grow and nurture the next generation. Parenting is a revolutionary act that brings healing potential to our lives, lineages, and communities. And it's some of the most challenging work in the world, especially in a society that doesn't support parents in general, let alone parents who belong to the LGBTQ+ community. When we acknowledge that grief is often a part of this queer family-building journey, we become stronger and more resilient in handling the curveballs that this process throws our way. It also helps people normalize grief and not feel that it is some sort of personal failure if and when some aspect of growing their family becomes harder than originally anticipated. In their book Tending Grief: Embodied Rituals for Holding Our Sorrow and Growing Cultures of Care in Community, Camille Barton talks about how inherent grief is to the human experience. Those of us raised in Western societies are conditioned to turn away from our grief, which is a necessary and essential part of our humanity. Turning away from grief, they explain, causes us to feel numb and disconnected from ourselves and our bodies. We need to learn to allow ourselves to grieve to feel joy, connection, and even pleasure. When I support people through the beginning of their family-building process, I encourage them to anticipate that it will likely be a challenging journey. I tell my clients: you may need to let go of many things you become attached to, even before your first attempt, again and again. This process may test you and, if applicable, your relationship, in many unexpected ways. And the more you can see these trials as part of your own maturation and skill-building journey towards parenthood, the more able you will be to meet the moment with courage and an openness to Grow. When we normalize the reality that grief is often a part of this family-building process, it helps us build resilience in ourselves, our relationships, and the broader communities that will harbor our families as they evolve and change. And what a gift this is to our future children. Marea GoodmanSand and Stone Media for Marea Goodman Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride. This article originally appeared on Advocate: What queer parenthood taught me about grief and grace

EXCLUSIVE We're a married couple who have been swinging for eight years - sex with other people has had a 'really strange' effect on our relationship
EXCLUSIVE We're a married couple who have been swinging for eight years - sex with other people has had a 'really strange' effect on our relationship

Daily Mail​

time7 days ago

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mail​

EXCLUSIVE We're a married couple who have been swinging for eight years - sex with other people has had a 'really strange' effect on our relationship

A married couple who have been swinging for eight years say that sleeping with other people helps them reconnect and have a better sex life. Olivia, 32, and Gage, 34, from Lincoln, had a newfound 'explosion of love' for each other after their first swinging experience and have remained 'madly in love' ever since. The pair first got together when they were teenagers, but it wasn't until five years into their relationship that they decided to discuss having sex with other people. The conversation happened naturally after Gage was interested in hearing whether bi-curious Olivia had been with another woman before. She told MailOnline: 'It was just pillow talk and conversations. 'We were talking about if I had experienced ever being with a woman and I said actually, I have. 'It was a mind-blowing experience and it happened before I was with Gage.' The talk soon turned to swinging, when the couple - who were newly married at the time - agreed that they would try opening up their relationship, together. Gage - who was in the army for 11 years - signed up to a swinging app after his friend recommended it during a night shift. He said: 'We were shocked at how many people were in this lifestyle and do what we do because we had no idea.' Although they had set out to meet a single woman to join them in the bedroom, Gage and Olivia ended up fooling around with a couple, which they say allowed them to connect deeply in their own relationship. The other duo - who was in their area and a similar age - started messaging Gage and Olivia WhatsApp so they could get to know them better. They chatted for six weeks before arranging for Olivia and Gage - who married in 2012 - to come over to their house for 'drinks' and it wasn't long before the group went upstairs for a 'fun time'. Gage said: 'Seeing Olivia with another woman and another guy for the first time - it was a really strange feeling, it's quite a big turn on to see each other with other people.' Olivia - who has 337,000 followers on TikTok - also described being so aroused by their successful first time, that she asked Gage to 'pull over so they could reconnect' during their drive home. Gage said that many people assume that swingers are focused more on sex with other people, when in reality, they are longing to bond further with their partner. He said: 'We never thought we could have another level of love or admiration with each other. That week, I didn't want to go to work, Olivia didn't want to do anything, we just wanted to stay in bed and cuddle and kiss and have sex with one another. 'We thought "Wow, is this actually a thing?" We couldn't wrap our heads around why we felt like this.' Gage said that he and Olivia were going through the 'reconnection period' which is where you experience 'an explosion of love' for your partner after having a swinging session with others. Flight attendant Olivia says she has to battle many misconceptions when it comes to swinging, with people accusing the couple of not being satisfied with each other. However, she says this couldn't be further from the truth. '[They think] we don't love each other, or we want to cheat on each other,' she said. 'There are so many misconceptions but they are all wrong.' Gage added that they often get comments on TikTok or Instagram with users comparing swinging to cheating. He added: [They'll say] "You don't love each other because you wouldn't want to have sex with anybody else" but we always come back and ask whether they've had one night stands with anybody, because if that's the case, they're basically associating love with sex when they're two separate things. 'We've been married for a very long time. We are madly in love with each other and I am obsessed with her.' Another myth about swingers is that they are riddled with STIs, which Gage says is false as they 'test often and we use protection'. He said: 'The truth is that we've never caught one STI in the eight years we've done this. It's normal to send other couples certificates of being all clear before we play.' Olivia said 'vanillas' - people who are monogamous - often think that swingers will sleep with anyone, when in fact, they are pickier than regular people. 'It's because I've got my partner, I've got sex on tap,' she laughed. 'We are very picky, especially if we're doing things together, it has to be right for both of us.' Gage said another misconception is that swingers are 'absolutely sex mad'. He added: 'We are sexual human beings. Vanillas window shop, they have affairs, they'll see someone and wonder what it's like and we recognise that. 'People don't get that we're doing it with consent and not having affairs behind each other's backs.' When asked about jealousy, the pair admitted that they do experience the emotion, but said that it is important how you channel it. Gage likened it to the jealousy he feels when he sees someone else going on holiday, whereas Olivia said: 'I think "That's my husband and she got him but I get to have it all the time and she's lucky she got to experience it".' The married couple also '100 per cent' believe that sex clubs are safer than regular nightclubs because of the level of vetting in place. Olivia said: 'If you want to go to the club you have to have a membership and clubs will interview single guys and they might not give them a membership. 'There's no getting drunk and throwing up, there's nobody starting fights. Everyone knows you have to consent to touching and kissing. Whereas on a normal night out, people can be quite handsy with you. Everyone is so respectful.' But while they're seasoned swingers now, their first time wasn't all smooth sailing as Olivia wanted to back out initially, adding that she found it all 'too weird'. Gage said: 'We were absolutely nervous. I remember we pulled up to this other couple's house and as I pulled on to their drive, Olivia froze with nerves. Our arrangement was that it's just drinks, don't expect anything else but if there is something there, to not rule it out. 'I pulled onto the drive and the other couple saw us through the window and were waving at us. Olivia said "You're going to have to reverse and go home" and I said we couldn't because they had seen us.' And they're glad they didn't, as they now founded a business based on their lifestyle, a swinging app called SwingHub, which now 50,000 verified users. The majority are older Gen Zers and Millenials, with Gage noting that they've seen an increasing level of younger people becoming more sexually free. Gage and Olivia were four years into swinging and had started posting about it online when they muscled up the courage to tell their families. 'We would make up little secrets and tell people were were going to engagement parties or barbeques and try to hide it because it's none of their business,' she said. 'But when we started posting on social media we thought that people we should start telling people but other people tell them.' Gage described being nervous to call up his mother in the fear that she would not accept his lifestyle. But she turned out to be very supportive, telling Gage that she thought their videos were were 'absolutely brilliant', and although some of Olivia's family had questions, they were also accepting. When asked about the only downside to swinging, Olivia said that it can be very expensive and that a weekend can sometimes cost £400 for transport, hotel, the club fees and new lingerie.

She Felt 'Deeply Alone' in Her Previous Marriage. Now She Shares Her Polyamorous Relationship Online (Exclusive)
She Felt 'Deeply Alone' in Her Previous Marriage. Now She Shares Her Polyamorous Relationship Online (Exclusive)

Yahoo

time21-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Yahoo

She Felt 'Deeply Alone' in Her Previous Marriage. Now She Shares Her Polyamorous Relationship Online (Exclusive)

Hayley Folk is in an ethical, non-monogamous relationship with her husband She makes videos and writes about her relationship and partners to raise awareness and fight stigmas Folk shares her relationship online in hopes to help others like her feel less aloneHayley Folk is very open about her relationship. Folk, 30, is a bisexual polyamorous woman who is in an ethical, non-monogamous relationship with her husband. Folk "spent the almost past 10 years coming to terms with being polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, and finding relationships that suit me." Folk talks with PEOPLE exclusively about her lifestyle, why she shares her content and what she hopes people learn and take away from her videos and articles. In her first marriage, her husband opened their relationship because he believed it was what she wanted. "I was going in blind and had no clue what I was doing, but through two years of being in an open relationship and then an open marriage, when we got married, I realized I was polyamorous," she explains to PEOPLE. "The relationship ended for multiple reasons, one of them being that my ex-husband realized he was monogamous, and we realized we didn't [work] for each other. We got married young, and then I moved to New York." Once Folk moved to New York, she began dating and met her now-husband, Kyle, with whom she has been open since the beginning of their relationship. Then, Folk began writing professionally about her life online, and for her, it felt like a "therapeutic processing piece." This year, she started sharing videos about her polyamorous lifestyle online and grew her following, sharing an honest look at her life. She receives a lot of comments on her content, both positive and negative. Through her platform, she has built a community of people who discovered they are polyamorous and interested in ethical non-monogamy. Folk has been able to quell misconceptions about what polyamory and ethical non-monogamy look like, including the idea that "polyamory is a way to say out loud that you want to cheat, and that is not the case." "Ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term, and being polyamorous is having the ability to love multiple people at once. Someone can be polyamorous and be in a closed relationship. The ability to be polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous is so that you can be honest about what you want." In making her content, Folk hopes that ethical non-monogamy can be normalized. "It doesn't have to be something that's taboo. It doesn't have to be something that's a conversation starter, something that everyone else can gawk at," she continues. "What I've come to find over time is that, like queerness, polyamory can be a normal thing. To embody this lifestyle, there is the ability also eventually to come to terms with it, and we're all living our lives in the way that we know how best [to]." Though it varies from relationship to relationship, Folk shares that she and her husband have rules for each other, and she acknowledges that "the rules do fluctuate over time." "We always check in with each other before and after dates with other people. Check-in can be done over text, FaceTime, or in person," she explains. "We like to take the time beforehand to set intentions and check in with each other, and that's something that we strictly abide by." Folk also explains that during these check-ins, they conduct a temperature check on the relationship to ensure they're spending enough time together. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. One of Folk's most significant pieces of advice for those who have been in a monogamous relationship for a while and are looking to open up is to "take your time." "Slower is better. Maybe create a dating profile together and swipe through profiles together, imagining going on dates. Sit down and write out every possible scenario that you are afraid of happening, and talk about those things openly," she details. "Sometimes, people open up as a way to save their relationship or fulfill their partner's needs, but they don't discuss their fears. If you can access those conversations together before you do anything and continue to have those conversations, that's the healthiest way." She also recommends that couples consider investing in a couples therapist who specializes in and understands alternative relationship styles. "You need someone who can truly understand and is coming at it from a completely non-biased perspective." There are many things that Folk enjoys about her relationships, including "not having to hide anything about myself from my primary partner." "There is a level of freedom and transparency that happens when you can truly say anything, and you don't have to filter yourself," Folk shares. "I can be myself openly, honestly and authentically, including the connections I want with other people, and it's okay. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with our relationship or that it's bad." The hardest part about her relationship, Folk shares, is the "judgment from society." "I've developed a very thick skin over the years. I discuss this online for a reason, and some comments are quite harsh," Folk recalls. "I would be lying if I said it didn't affect me at all. I could see for other new [polyamorous] people; maybe that fear of judgment could be the worst part." "I want to help other people. When I opened my previous marriage, I felt so deeply alone. I was searching through Reddit and was following the advice of strangers. I was trying to find any resources," Folk shares. "People don't get it more often than not, so I want to make sure that one person can feel less alone. That's what matters to me. I want to help folks. If I can help at least one person through embarrassing, cringy or sometimes sentimental videos, then that's what I'll do." Read the original article on People

Watch awkward moment man stops orgy with three women after getting stage fright on Open House The Great Sex Experiment
Watch awkward moment man stops orgy with three women after getting stage fright on Open House The Great Sex Experiment

The Sun

time20-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • The Sun

Watch awkward moment man stops orgy with three women after getting stage fright on Open House The Great Sex Experiment

AN awkward moment on Open House saw a man stop a wild orgy with three women after getting stage fright. The Channel 4 show sees monogamous couples move into a house alongside 'sexperts' and explore having an open relationship. 3 3 3 However, one participant, Simon, struggled as he put a stop to romping with three women. He entered the retreat alongside his fiancé Chris, to explore whether they're attracted to women. While Simon looked visibly flustered, one of the women gave him a drink of water. He said: "Might just be a bit of stage fright, part of it is also... there's a lot going on. "I'm just, like, processing everything at once. This is something very new for me." Viewers previously slammed a mum-of-six for "making a fool" of her husband. Amy attracted the ire of horrified fans for passionately kissing a woman in front of her hubby Claude in a hot tub. Amy had told the cameras how she previously enjoyed a polyamorous lifestyle and wanted to return to it despite hers and Claude's monogamous marriage. Claude admitted he had always stuck to one partner and was struggling with the idea of seeing his wife with someone else. But despite his obvious reservations, Amy wasted no time in snogging a woman called Georgie in front of him while sitting in a steamy hot tub. Awkward moment mum-of-six 'makes a fool out of husband' on Channel 4's The Open House in bid to SAVE their marriage A fan penned: "Amy, if you end up on your own with 6 kids I'll have no sympathy." Another commented: "Amy's mocking her husband." And a third said: "I think it's unfair that Amy entered into a monogamous marriage and now wants to change the rules AND for her husband to be happy with that, when he's clearly not." Someone else remarked: "Amy just wants a way out of the relationship, making a fool of her partner." Despite Claude's reluctance to get on board with the idea, Amy told the cameras that she believed he was only closed off to polygamy because it is "not what society dictates". But another viewer blasted: "No Amy he is not holding back cos society tells him it is not normal, he is holding back cos he doesn't want to do this!" things have become awkward during the school run.

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