7 days ago
Women Are Sharing The Things They Romanticized As Young Girls That Turned Out To Be VERY Different Once They Hit Adulthood
Recently, a now-deleted user posted on the popular Ask Women Reddit page to pose the question, "What's something you romanticized as a girl, but the reality hit different as a woman?" The answers got pretty real, and I figured you'd appreciate them. So, here are some of the best:
1."Male validation. Men thinking you're hot. It's not the meaning of life, it's a worthless burden."
—u/dough_eating_squid
"Exactly. I can't understand how I could romanticize it? Now I feel like I can't even tolerate their validation. It feels shallow and arbitrary and very random. Some men even fake their validation of women in order to seduce and manipulate women. Also, I realized that men validating my 'hotness' doesn't mean they necessarily like me as a person/human."
—u/cherryvanilla
"Once you realize that men wanting to fuck you doesn't afford you any real power or safety, and in fact it really just means they demand your attention whether you are interested or not, it's very freeing."
—u/dough_eating_squid
2."Marriage."
—u/Emotional-Many1077
3."Little short me couldn't wait to be an adult and wear heels all the time. I'm good with foam slip-on sneakers, thank you!"
—u/papamajada
4."Doing my hair. Yikes, what a chore. Also, paying rent and wearing bras. Oof."
—u/20191995
5."After watching the loving and healthy relationship between my mum and dad and how in love with each other they were, I knew I wanted that someday. Then I grew up and realized my dad was one in a million."
"And I very much take after him in so many ways, and I wanted that for myself.
But watching the current dating scene for my era, everyone wants something unobtainable. The standards are impossibly high. And communication like how my parents had is dead."
—u/Gingerpsycho94
6."Everything, the entirety of romantic relationships, motherhood, work, finances. Absolutely nothing is as I thought and hoped it would be."
—u/HeartBeetz
7."The myth that when a guy bullies you or treats you like crap, it's because he likes you."
—u/Important-Drive-1823
8."As a girl with sexual trauma and just being raised in a conservative state, I thought it was empowering and freeing to have sex whenever, wherever, with whoever; but now that I've experienced it with a man who held a mutual love with me, I wouldn't have it any other way."
—u/etherealdaisey
9."Men."
NBC
—u/Left_Count_658
10."I didn't overly romanticize it, but all of my life growing up, my parents said that the main objective of my life was to go to school to get an education so I could get a man with a good education who would take care of me and our children. My only value was to get a house, husband, car, 2.5 kids, and a dog, and if you didn't work to do those things and put a career, dreams, or education first, you were failing."
Ron Watts / Getty Images, Tuul & Bruno Morandi / Getty Images
"By the time I grew up and did all of those things, I realized those were things I never wanted to do; they were things that the society and community in which I lived wanted me to do.
I wanted to be an archaeologist and go on digs and be out sweating in the Egyptian Heat looking for sarcophagi; I wanted to be on the Galapagos Islands helping to list all the new species of animals they didn't know were there before; but by the time I figured it all out, I had done all those other things. I think I still have time to do some of those, but it's just not the same as doing them when you're young in mind, body, and spirit."
—u/TrickyNotice4678
11."Dating older men at a young age."
—u/pocketlocket222
"As a teen and even in my early 20s, I thought being with someone much older would be fantastic because of all the experience and patience they must have, lmao. Thank goodness I never got to be in a relationship like that. Now that I'm on the other side of the age gap, the thought of being with someone much younger gives me the icks."
—u/jturtle1701
12."BOOBS. OMG, I wanted them so bad and now I curse mine. They're constantly growing and shrinking, bras suck, back pain is unreal, and posture is ruined."
—u/bobnotahacker
13."Weddings. I don't want to be watched as I walk down the aisle; I struggle enough not tripping when people are not watching me. I love the dresses and the idea, it's very just not for me."
ABC / Via
—u/LavishnessSad2226
14."I really envisioned an annual girls' trip starting from my 20s to when we start dying off. I managed one trip, which was great, but we could never do it again and I just gave up. Now in my late 40s, I just want to travel with my significant other or solo."
—u/LeighofMar
15."Being a housewife. I know a lot of women are still happy housewives, but my ex-husband destroyed me and made it so hard to get back on my feet. It's not something I would want again."
—u/Crowfyre
16."Being hyper-independent."
"Didn't have a choice but to be independent at a young age because of parental neglect. Thought it was all, 'hell yeah, I'll show them, I can do anything anyone else can do, it's just me, but that's okay.'
Yeah, so I can't ask for help ever without spiraling with guilt and worrying I'm a selfish burden."
—u/JellyTwoForms
17."Crushes on celebrities or 'boyfriends' in the school environment. Looking back, our identities are somewhat sexualized and tied to men from such a young age."
"Parents often joke with their adult friends that 'she has a boyfriend' or 'she has a crush on Nick Carter.' Looking back, I did NOT actually have a crush on Nick Carter; older kids asked me which Backstreet Boy was my fave, and took control of the narrative from there and made me believe I did.
I was 6, people. Men's bodies, looks, and personalities were foreign to me for many, many years still. Kids don't need boyfriends, girlfriends, or this pretend pressure of having a love interest. Let kids be kids."
—u/Empty-Caterpillar810
18."Becoming a mom! Love my kids but wow, do they lie to you about how romantic it is to have a kid with a husband!"
—u/pnijj82
19."Being an adult."
—u/LoosePhilosopher1107
finally, "The three Ms: men, marriage, and motherhood. I grew up really desperate and excited for all of those things, but as I've gotten older, I find myself really disillusioned and uninterested in them. I'm queer, I don't care for marriage in the same way, and feel like child-bearing might not be for me or even a viable thing to do now with the world being what it is."
Docinets Vasil / Getty Images, Halfpoint Images / Getty Images
—u/Hopeful-Strategy8637
What do you think of these? Agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments below; and if you have any past romanticizations of your own to share, feel free to do so and add to the conversation!
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