Latest news with #selfEsteem
Yahoo
8 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Manipulative Questions People Who Want To Control You Ask
We live in an age where conversation can often feel like a chess match, each move calculated for maximum effect. Ever found yourself walking away from a chat feeling strangely off-kilter? That may be because people use subtle tactics to steer your thoughts and decisions without you even realizing it. Here, we delve into the art of the manipulative question—a tactic employed by the most cunning conversationalists. You've spent time meticulously selecting your outfit, and then someone drops this little bomb. It's not just a question; it's a seed of doubt planted in your mind, leaving you second-guessing your choice. According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts, these types of questions thrive on undermining self-esteem and sowing insecurity. The goal is simple: make you question your taste, your originality, and your confidence. The real power in this question is its insidiousness. It's a veiled judgment wrapped in faux curiosity, implying that you've made the wrong choice without explicitly saying so. This kind of question can derail your self-assuredness in an instant, making you doubt your own decisions. When confronted with this question, pause and remind yourself that your choices are valid and that someone else's opinion doesn't define your worth. Comparison, they say, is the thief of joy, and this question is the pickpocket in action. It invites you to measure yourself against someone else, setting the stage for an internal dialogue of inadequacy. The real kicker? It's often posed under the guise of admiration for the third party, making it even harder to call out the manipulation at play. When you're faced with this type of inquiry, notice the emotional reaction it triggers. It's designed to make you feel less than, to question your own intelligence and capabilities. It's a deliberate attempt to skew the power dynamics of the conversation, positioning you as inferior. Recognize it for what it is—a tactic to disarm—and refuse to buy into the narrative. Ouch. This question is designed to cut deep, often leaving you defensively scrambling for evidence that you do, in fact, listen. Dr. John M. Grohol, founder of Psych Central, explains that such questions can create a false narrative of neglect or disinterest. It's a classic tactic to shift blame and guilt onto you, making you feel as though you're failing in the relationship. The emotional sting of this question often blinds you to its true purpose: control. By positioning you as the one at fault, it diverts attention away from the accuser's shortcomings or miscommunications. You're left questioning your own actions and intentions, often when there's no tangible reason to do so. The next time you're hit with this question, pause and consider whether it's really about your behavior or the other person's need for validation. This question is the dream-crusher, lurking in the shadows of your aspirations. Its sole intent is to make you doubt your capabilities and question your ambitions. It hints that your goals are beyond your reach, planting seeds of uncertainty that can grow into full-blown self-doubt. By implying you lack the necessary skills or experience, the question challenges you to justify your dreams. It's a manipulative tactic that can make you feel as though you're overreaching, attempting something beyond your grasp. Remember, ambition isn't a crime and doubt is a normal part of pushing your boundaries. Don't let a question rooted in insecurity deter you from chasing what you truly desire. Ah, the classic emotional dismissal. This question belittles your feelings by suggesting that they are an overreaction. Dr. Brené Brown, renowned researcher and author, asserts that emotional sensitivity is often mislabeled as a weakness when, in reality, it's a sign of deep empathy and intuition. Its purpose is to invalidate your emotional responses, making you question their legitimacy. When someone questions your sensitivity, it's their way of deflecting from the real issue at hand. It shifts the focus away from their actions and suggests that the problem is your reaction. This question is often a thinly veiled attempt to avoid accountability. Stand firm in your emotions and recognize that sensitivity is not a flaw but a strength. There's a subtle art to the phrase "overreacting," as it suggests your emotions are unjustified. The implication is clear: you're blowing things out of proportion, and you should dial it back. This question is a masterstroke in emotional manipulation, designed to make you feel as though your feelings are not valid. By questioning the intensity of your reaction, the person skillfully deflects attention away from their own behavior. It's a tactic often used to silence dissent and maintain control of the narrative. When confronted with this question, take a step back and assess your emotions objectively before conceding ground. Your feelings matter, and acknowledging them is the first step to owning your narrative. A question like this often comes with a stinging undertone, implying that you're self-centered. It's a manipulative pivot, turning the conversation away from the original topic and painting you as the narcissist. Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, highlights how self-awareness is unfairly weaponized in such instances, detracting from constructive dialogue. This question is a deflective tactic, shifting blame and spotlighting your behavior as problematic. It minimizes your perspective, suggesting that your concerns are trivial or misplaced. It's crucial to maintain your sense of self-awareness and recognize when someone's trying to derail a conversation. Don't allow the manipulation to redefine the narrative; your voice and concerns are valid. This question is the emotional equivalent of a slap on the wrist. It implies that you're exaggerating the situation, making a mountain out of a molehill. Often, it's used to invalidate your feelings, suggesting that your emotional response is unwarranted. When someone accuses you of being dramatic, they are often attempting to diminish your experience. It's a tactic that shifts the focus from the issue at hand to your reaction, casting you in a negative light. The goal is to make you doubt your feelings and second-guess your instincts. Stand firm in your truth and remember that acknowledging your emotions is the first step to resolving any issue. This question is often wielded to underline a perceived lack of appreciation. It suggests that you're ungrateful for what you have, subtly nudging you toward feelings of guilt. Manipulative at its core, it aims to make you overlook any shortcomings or grievances you might have. When confronted with this question, it's easy to fall into the trap of self-recrimination. You start weighing your worth against what you should be grateful for, blurring the lines of your valid feelings and concerns. It's a clever tactic to keep you in check and deter you from raising issues. Stand your ground, and remember that gratitude doesn't negate the legitimacy of your feelings or experiences. This question masquerades as a concern but is often a cover for doubt. It's a subtle attempt to undermine your decision-making by suggesting that you haven't thought things through. The implication is that someone, presumably wiser, knows better. The power of this question lies in its ability to inject uncertainty into your plans. It's designed to make you second-guess yourself and reconsider your choices. However, remember that your decisions are yours to make, and mistakes are just lessons in disguise. Trust your instincts and recognize this question for what it is—an attempt to sway your resolve. Here's a question that carries the weight of moral judgment. It implies that your actions or desires put you at odds with what's deemed 'right' or 'considerate.' This query is a clever maneuver, as it leverages societal expectations to manipulate your behavior. The accusation of selfishness is a powerful one, often leaving you scrambling to prove otherwise. It's designed to force you into a corner, compelling you to reevaluate your priorities and possibly forego your desires. When faced with this question, remind yourself that self-care isn't synonymous with selfishness. You have every right to pursue what makes you happy, and your needs are important. Ah, the age card—a manipulative mainstay that subtly undermines your choices based on your age. It posits that certain things are only appropriate for specific age brackets, dismissing your desires or goals. This question is designed to pigeonhole you, corralling your ambitions into predefined societal norms. It's a cunning tactic to make you question your choices and reconsider your ambitions. By suggesting you're out of sync with what's 'appropriate' for your age, it aims to diminish your enthusiasm. Remember, age is just a number, and it holds no bearing on your capacity to achieve what you desire. Don't let this question deter you from pursuing what you are passionate about. This question is the ultimate blame-shifter, implying that you've failed in some fundamental way. It's designed to put you on the defensive, making you shoulder the burden of responsibility. The hidden insinuation is that you could have prevented the outcome, casting doubt on your judgment and capabilities. By framing the situation as a personal shortcoming, this question serves to manipulate your perception of events. It's an attempt to deflect attention from the real issue, laying it squarely on your shoulders. When faced with this question, take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively. Recognize the manipulation and refuse to accept unwarranted blame.
Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Love Island star reveals she's jetted to Turkey for 'painful' cat eye facelift surgery as she shares tragic reason behind the procedure
Love Island star Patsy Field has revealed she has gone under the knife in a bid to make herself feel 'pretty' after losing her confidence on the ITV2 dating show. The influencer, 30, who has been open about her disability Erb's palsy, a condition that means one of her arms is shorter than the other and has less function, jetted to Turkey alone to undergo a cat eye facelift. Patsy revealed she felt she need the surgery due to feeling the pressure of being an influencer and noted that the procedure was 'gifted' and that she was not sure whether she would have gone under the knife if it wasn't free. The TV star, who appeared on Love Island last year, woke up alone in her hospital room and admitted she was originally horrified by her appearance and was unable to look in the mirror for days. She told The Sun: 'I came back around, and I was in Turkey on my own, pain, just a bit scared, thinking like, 'What have I done?' initially. 'My eyes were like two pink golf balls with just a tiny little slit out to see, and that's when I thought, oh, I've messed up here.' Explaining her decision behind the operation, which saw her put to sleep, Patsy admitted that being on TV and social media took its toll on her self-esteem. She said: 'I just wanted to feel prettier in myself and I felt that this would change my face in a way. I'm happy with it, but I think also coming off the show if you want to be an influencer or you want to give it a go you're constantly taking videos and pictures of yourself. 'So I'm constantly looking at pictures and thinking all that could I look a bit old or I look a bit this and that's kind of what egged me on to do it.' Revealing the procedure was 'gifted', she said: 'I'm not sure if I would have gone ahead with it if it wasn't. But I have always, for years and years, had just an insecurity about my eyes.' Patsy added that she 'would not recommend' the surgery to her young fans or followers. The reality star, who quit her job in office administration to go on Love Island last year, also revealed to the publication that she has since 'struggled' with a career path and is looking to move to Australia to find a 'normal 9 to 5 job'. Patsy burst onto our screens last summer and initially coupled up with Ayo before being picked by Munveer. But after just 10 days they were voted out by their fellow Islanders. The TV star, who appeared on Love Island last year, woke up alone in her hospital room and admitted she was originally horrified by her appearance and was unable to look in the mirror; pictured on Love Island last year Ahead of going on the Love Island, Patsy revealed last year how she worked with ITV bosses to adapt the villa for her disability. The former office administrator, has previously shared details of living with disability Erb's palsy - a condition characterized by weakness and loss of motion in the arm - which she developed during her traumatic birth at Lewisham hospital. She has undergone several operations on her arm including muscle transplants and nerve transplants to improve the quality of her movement. Ahead of the series Patsy told how producers have 'covered all bases' to 'look after her' during the stint on the show. She told The Sun: 'No stone has been left unturned when it comes to 'am I happy to go in there and get involved with day to day activities' and stuff like that.' 'There are things that will be interesting I guess, for other people to see on camera that I can't do. I struggle to put my hair up and stuff. 'But I always just kind of find something to rest my arm on, or I often - you'll probably see me in there - I'm using my friend's shoulder to put my arm on, so I can lift it up and do my hair. 'So you'll definitely as as the show plays out, you'll be able to see things I can and can't do.' She has previously said of her disability and childhood: 'I was a normal baby at birth or should have been, but I had a birth injury or disability. 'From there I have had a few operations, muscle transplants, nerve transplants to get it to where it is now, which I am happy with and I know for other people with the condition, it is in a good way. 'It's something I've had for all of my life that I get on with and I don't know any different, day to day for me it's quite a small part of who I am.' Patsy hoped she inspired other people living with a disability to feel as body confident as she does and shared details of her story with her co-stars. She said: 'I am really looking forward to speaking about it in the villa and hopefully people will be able to watch and understand from my explanation a little more about. 'I'm really hoping there will be people all over the country who have similar things - and I know people with exactly the same condition, who will see me doing something like this and think wow I would never go for something like that and she's doing it and she's so confident and body confident and I can be the same.'
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
The gentle parenting trick one mom used to teach self love
What if building your child's self-esteem wasn't about praise, but presence? That's the quiet lesson behind a viral TikTok by creator Noor (@ who recently reflected on the subtle ways her parents helped her grow up with a strong sense of self love. Her story isn't a 'just tell them they're amazing' kind of post. It's a parenting blueprint rooted in consistency, quiet reframes, and knowing when not to jump in with compliments. In her video, Noor recalls how her mom helped her develop a kind internal voice—not by overcorrecting or overpraising, but by gently modeling what self-respect looks like in everyday parenting moments. 'Whenever me or my siblings would ever say anything negative about ourselves, or speak badly about ourselves, my mom would look at us and be like, 'Don't speak about my daughter like that,'' Noor shared. It may seem small, but that one sentence sends a message: you deserve kindness, even from yourself. And it reminds kids that the people who love them won't sit by when they speak cruelly to themselves. Related: 3 essential parenting habits to build confidence + self-love in your child Like many girls, Noor had moments when she didn't feel pretty or didn't want to go out. But instead of rushing to reassure her with, 'You're so beautiful,' her mom took a different approach. 'She'd say, 'We're not getting married today. I'm not going to marry you off today. Get out the door: we're going.'' It worked. It helped Noor get out the door, but more importantly, it helped her understand she didn't need to feel beautiful to belong in the world. She didn't need to perform confidence to be worthy of showing up. One of the quietest but most powerful things Noor's mom did? Speak proudly about her to other people—while Noor was in earshot. '[My mom] would always say super nice things about me in front of our friends and our family,' she said. 'She would never complain about me … in front of other people. And whenever she talks about me to other people … it feels like she's proud of me.' This kind of indirect praise feels more genuine to many kids. It doesn't put them on the spot, but it still lands deeply. Noor explains that while she was a gifted student, her mom didn't center her identity around that success. 'I never felt like my self-worth was tied to me being smart or me excelling,' she said. 'My worth is just tied to me as her daughter and as a human being.' By not turning intelligence into a defining trait, her mom helped Noor stay connected to her value—whether she was performing or not. Related: Child therapist shares easy way to ensure your child's inner voice is full of confidence Inspired by Noor's story, here are a few parenting lines that focus on grounding, not grading: Instead of: 'You're so smart!'Try: 'I really admire how curious you are.' Instead of: 'You're beautiful just the way you are.'Try: 'You don't have to feel beautiful to be important.' Instead of: 'Good job, you're the best at this.'Try: 'You stuck with that even when it was hard. I noticed that.' Instead of: Silence when they self-criticizeTry: 'Hey. Don't talk about my child like that.' These quiet phrases don't just build confidence—they model what it means to speak to yourself with care. Noor's story reminds us that self love doesn't come from perfect words or scripted praise. It grows from feeling seen, safe, and accepted in small, consistent ways. The way we respond to our kids' self-doubt, the moments we choose to stay quiet—or speak up—can shape the way they talk to themselves for sometimes, the most powerful parenting moments aren't loud or labeled. They're just loving.
The Independent
19-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Independent
Meghan discusses ‘really hard' setback in early stages of acting career
The Duchess of Sussex discussed the significant setbacks she faced early in her career, describing the period as "really hard." Speaking on the Aspire Podcast on Tuesday, 17 June, Meghan revealed there were few roles specifically for mixed-race actors before her breakout role in Suits. To increase her chances of securing parts, she often auditioned for roles intended for white or Latina characters. Meghan explained that the high number of rejections, even when auditioning for more roles, significantly impacted her self-esteem. Watch the video in full.
The Independent
19-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Independent
Meghan reveals early setback in acting career that was ‘really hard'
The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she faced repeated setbacks in the early stages of her career that made life 'really hard'. Meghan appeared on the Aspire Podcast on Tuesday (17 June), where she said prior to her breakout role in Suits, there were 'certainly not a lot of mixed race parts'. She revealed that she would go for white and Latina roles in order to better her chances at landing a part, explaining that auditioning was a 'numbers game'. 'If I'm only up for 10 parts, that could be 10 nos, but if I'm up for 30 parts because I can fit into so many different rooms, that could be 30 nos. That is a lot to chip away at, that is a lot to chip away at your self-esteem - that is really hard.'
