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Yahoo
6 days ago
- Entertainment
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13 Weird Conversations That Reveal Someone's Totally Self-Absorbed
We've all been there—caught in a conversation that makes you question if the other person even knows you exist. When someone is totally self-absorbed, their words tend to reveal their mindset pretty quickly. Here are 13 weird conversations that make it painfully clear they're stuck in their own little world. So, next time you're chatting away and things start to feel off, see if you're dealing with one of these tell-tale signs. 1. The "My Life Is A Movie" Monologue Ever been in a conversation where the other person narrates their life as if it were a blockbuster film? They'll recount every moment with dramatic flair, from their morning coffee routine to the 'epic' quest for the best parking spot. According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, this behavior often stems from a need for validation, as people create narratives that place them at the center of their own universe. This turns every exchange into a one-person show where your role is reduced to a mere audience member. When the dialogue doesn't leave room for your input, you know you're dealing with someone who is more into their own script than sharing the spotlight. Their monologue doesn't just stop at everyday activities. Get ready for the 'and then I heroically...' tales that make them sound like they're living in an action movie. While everyone enjoys a bit of flair, these storytellers skip asking about your day or thoughts entirely. They don't even realize the pause they leave open isn't for your input, but for their own dramatic effect. If they expect you to be impressed by their 'stellar' life choices, it's time to recognize they're not really interested in a two-way conversation. 2. The One-Up Game You share a personal achievement or event, and instead of congratulations, you get hit with a story that's supposedly bigger and better. This is a classic one-upper move, a hallmark of the self-absorbed. They can't just appreciate your experience; they need to overshadow it with their own. It's like trying to have a conversation with someone who's constantly competing for a trophy you didn't know existed. It can leave you feeling like nothing you say will ever measure up, so why bother sharing? The one-uppers' stories are usually exaggerated tales of success or hardship, designed to position them as the ultimate winner or victim. They make it clear that they believe their life is more interesting or challenging than anyone else's. This kind of behavior is draining because it feels like your experiences are being invalidated. Instead of having a meaningful exchange, you're stuck competing in a race you didn't sign up for. Remember, real conversations aren't about scoring points—they're about genuine connection. 3. The Mirror Talk You mention something about yourself, and suddenly, it's as if they've experienced the exact same thing, but more intensely. They turn your story into a mirror, reflecting it back to them. Research by Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, suggests that self-absorbed individuals often lack true self-awareness, which is why they might not realize how much they dominate conversations. Instead of offering empathy or asking questions, they redirect the focus back to themselves. Your stories become the prompt for them to share theirs, not an invitation for dialogue. In mirror talk, your feelings or experiences are acknowledged only to the extent that they serve to set up their own. The conversation becomes less about understanding and more about comparison. It feels like they're saying, 'Oh, you think that's something? Wait till you hear this!' This approach can make you feel like you're speaking into a void, where your words are only echoes bouncing back with their twist. It's exhausting to feel like you're only there to set the stage for their next performance. 4. The Advice Machine No matter what you're going through, they've got a solution—or so they think. The advice machine jumps in with their two cents before you even ask for it, taking over the conversation. Their suggestions usually have little to do with your situation and more with showcasing their own supposed wisdom. They seem to think they're doing you a favor by imparting their 'expert' knowledge, but really, it's just another way to steer the spotlight back onto them. You leave feeling like your concerns were never really heard, just overshadowed by their need to fix things. The advice machine doesn't just stop at unsolicited advice; they offer it with a sense of authority that can come off as condescending. They rarely ask questions to understand your perspective; instead, they jump straight into their prescribed solutions. It's like they believe they have all the answers, even without all the facts. This behavior often comes from a place of insecurity, as they use advice-giving to assert their importance in the conversation. It's less about helping you and more about proving their worth. 5. The "Me First" Syndrome You're in the middle of sharing something important, and they interrupt with, 'Oh, that reminds me of this time when I...' It's as if they just can't contain their excitement to talk about themselves. This behavior aligns with findings from a study by Dr. Keith Campbell, a psychology professor, which highlights that self-absorbed individuals often exhibit narcissistic traits, like taking over conversations. Instead of listening, they're constantly on the lookout for openings to steer the subject back to them. You can tell they're not really engaged in what you're saying—they're just waiting for their moment to shine. The 'me first' syndrome makes conversations feel like battles for airtime. Every topic seems like an opportunity for them to showcase their experiences, regardless of how relevant it actually is. You might notice them nodding along, but their response isn't about understanding or empathy—it's about positioning themselves as the main character. This can be particularly frustrating when you're trying to share something significant or seek support. In these interactions, it's clear that their need to be the center of attention trumps the importance of any genuine connection. 6. The Conversational Houdini One moment you're deep in conversation, and the next, they've magically made it all about them. They have a knack for seamlessly redirecting discussions back to their life or interests. It's impressive, if not a little disheartening, how quickly they can vanish from the topic at hand. This sleight of hand often leaves you feeling like your input is secondary or even unnecessary. You realize that they're more interested in performing conversational tricks than actually engaging. The Houdini doesn't just hijack conversations; they also disappear when it's your turn to talk. They might start scrolling through their phone or suddenly have something urgent to do. Their focus shifts as soon as they're no longer the main talking point. It's as if your part in the conversation was just a setup for their next act. This behavior can be confusing, as it feels like they're physically present but mentally miles away. 7. The "I've Done That Too" Parrot Every experience you share is met with, 'Oh, I've done that too!' It's like they're trying to create a connection, but it often comes off as dismissive or competitive. Dr. Jennifer Bosson, a social psychologist, notes that this type of behavior is frequently an attempt to bond, albeit clumsily, by finding common ground. However, in trying too hard to relate, they end up overshadowing your experiences with their own. Instead of feeling heard, you're left feeling like your unique moments aren't so unique after all. The parrot approach can make you feel like they're undermining your experiences. It's as though they're saying, 'Nothing you've done is special because I've done it too.' They miss the point that sharing an experience is about more than just the facts; it's about the emotions and insights that come with it. While their intentions might be to relate, the execution often leaves you feeling diminished. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, even if the destinations seem similar. 8. The "Selective Listener" Phenomenon They only seem to hear the parts of the conversation that interest them. Everything else is either ignored or forgotten, as if it never happened. This selective listening means that if you're not talking about something they care about, you might as well be speaking to a wall. It's like they're tuning in and out based on their personal interests, not the flow of the conversation itself. You can tell their attention isn't with you, but with their internal checklist of topics they find worthy. Selective listeners often steer conversations toward subjects they find more engaging. If the discussion hits on a topic they deem 'boring,' their eyes glaze over, and they mentally check out. It's frustrating because it feels like they only value certain aspects of what you bring to the table. You might find yourself repeating things or feeling unheard, which can make interactions feel incredibly one-sided. Remember, a true conversation requires active listening and engagement from both parties. 9. The "Back To Me" Rebuttal No matter what you're talking about, they somehow manage to bring it back around to themselves. It's like a conversational boomerang, where every topic inevitably lands back in their lap. You might be discussing your latest project, and suddenly, they're off on a tangent about their own unrelated ventures. It's as if they can only use your words as a springboard for their own tales. This constant redirection can make it hard to feel valued or understood. The 'back to me' rebuttal often leaves you wondering if they even heard what you said. Their response isn't about engagement; it's about reclaiming the spotlight. It's as if they're playing conversational ping-pong, where they're determined to keep the ball in their court. This approach is not only dismissive but also tiring, as it requires constant effort to get a word in edgewise. Conversations are meant to be shared experiences, not platforms for monologues. 10. The "Unsolicited Spotlight" Shift You're talking about your new favorite hobby, and suddenly, they're telling you about their unrelated achievements. It's as if they can't resist the pull of redirecting the spotlight onto themselves. Instead of exploring your interests, they hijack the moment to display theirs. This unsolicited spotlight shift can feel like a bait-and-switch, where your topic is the bait, and their interests are the switch. You're left wondering if they're even capable of staying on someone else's subject for more than a minute. The unsolicited spotlight shift often comes with an air of superiority. It's as if they believe their passions are inherently more worthy of discussion. This can be particularly frustrating because it feels like your enthusiasm is being downplayed. Their need to pivot the conversation reveals a lack of genuine interest in your world. Remember, conversations should be about mutual exploration, not self-centered detours. 11. The "Glory Days" Syndrome No matter the topic, they find a way to reminisce about their past achievements as if nothing else compares. It's like they're stuck in a time loop where the present and future are overshadowed by the 'glory days.' You could be discussing current events, and suddenly, they're recounting tales of their youthful victories. It's as if they believe their past is their most significant contribution to any conversation. This can make you feel like you're competing with memories that have taken on a life of their own. The 'glory days' syndrome often manifests as a reluctance to engage with the present. They're more interested in reliving old memories than creating new ones. This behavior can be alienating because it feels like they're more invested in what was than what is. It's as if they're saying, 'Nothing I do now can top what I did then,' which can be a conversation killer. While nostalgia can be a bonding tool, it shouldn't overshadow the opportunity to connect in the here and now. 12. The "Details Don't Matter" Attitude They gloss over important details, turning complex topics into superficial anecdotes. This attitude suggests they're not interested in delving deeper into any subject. They might dismiss your attempts to discuss nuances, opting for a simplistic overview instead. It can feel like they're trivializing your insights because they're unwilling to engage with anything beyond the surface. This approach makes conversations feel shallow and unrewarding. The 'details don't matter' attitude often reveals a lack of curiosity or a desire to maintain control over the narrative. They might fear that exploring details could lead to them stepping outside their comfort zone. This reluctance can stifle meaningful discussions and reduce them to mere exchanges of pleasantries. Conversations should be about depth and discovery, not just skimming the surface. A willingness to explore details shows respect for the other person's perspective and enhances the overall interaction. 13. The "Constant Critic" Commentary They always have something to criticize, and it's usually about things that don't concern them. This constant criticism can come off as judgmental, even when it's unasked for. Instead of having a constructive conversation, you're met with a barrage of unsolicited opinions. It's as if they've appointed themselves as the authority on everything, regardless of their expertise. This approach can make you feel like you're constantly under review, rather than engaged in a dialogue. The constant critic often hides their insecurity behind a facade of superiority. They might believe that by putting others down, they're elevating themselves. This behavior can be exhausting because it feels like you're never quite measuring up to their standards. Real conversations thrive on mutual respect and understanding, not a checklist of what's wrong. Remember, criticism should be constructive and invited, not a default setting in every interaction. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
30-06-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Self-Absorbed People Often Use These 12 Phrases Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say
Self-Absorbed People Often Use These 12 Phrases Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say originally appeared on Parade. "Self-absorbed" is a commonly hurled phrase on social media and in private conversations about people who always seem to redirect everything back to their thoughts, needs and feelings. While it's understandable—healthy even—to love and advocate for yourself, psychologists warn that self-absorbed people often alienate others."Being self-absorbed is not the same as confidence or self-awareness," stresses Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind. "Instead, it reflects an inward gaze that makes it difficult to empathize, listen or show interest in what someone else is going through."She explains that self-absorbed behaviors are often rooted in insecurity and fear, and can be difficult to recognize in yourself, saying, "It is hard to be self-aware about self-absorbed behavior because the mindset itself blocks the ability to reflect outward."However, understanding common phrases self-absorbed individuals use without realizing it can increase your awareness and help you become more inclusive. Here, psychologists share common phrases that self-absorbed people often say and offer advice on overcoming chronic "me-first" or "selfish" While this phrase has some merits, one psychologist points out some subtle but significant issues."There is nothing wrong with including part of this sentence as a response to a proposed plan, but to assume a group activity cannot happen just because you are not available is problematic unless it is an event in your honor," clarifies Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with telling colleagues that they absolutely cannot go to happy hour on Friday because you have a wedding to attend is People often use this phrase with good intentions."While it may seem like a way to relate, this shifts the focus away from the other person's emotions," shares a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "Clients I've worked with sometimes do this unintentionally when they are uncomfortable sitting with another person's pain. It's a way of making the moment more about them rather than offering support." One psychologist shares this phrase is a surefire way to rub people the wrong way, even if you're just kidding."It signals a lack of reciprocal attention," explains Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "Even when said playfully, it reveals a pattern of redirecting conversations toward their own stories."Related: This statement may be true, but it's worth considering whether you may have contributed to this treatment (especially if someone points out you say this all the time)."This is an example of self-absorption when one fails to acknowledge their contribution to a situation," Dr. Smith instance, she explains it's not cool to arrive 20 minutes late to something and get upset that a person can't meet with them anymore and needs to reschedule. Real talk: That could be part of the problem. "Rather than seeking understanding, this communicates judgment and a lack of curiosity about others' emotional landscapes," Dr. McGeehan reveals. "There isn't a clarifying question, empathy or curiosity, which are all things we would expect to see in a healthy back and forth. Rather, it's effectively shutting the conversation down."Related: This one is a classic phrase often uttered by self-absorbed types."It's a very common way to invalidate someone's experience and reroute them back to themselves," Dr. McGeehan says. "It implies that their interpretation is not valid and effectively steers the conversation in whatever direction they choose."Related: Different people bring distinct experiences and perspectives to the table, which is often positive. However, people who are self-absorbed may struggle to see things any way but their way."This phrase means that they have a very narrow view of the world," Dr. Hafeez says. "It also suggests that their own thoughts are the norm, and it is difficult to think that someone else's thoughts are equally valid."Related: Using honesty as an excuse to be mean can showcase a lack of empathy, a hallmark of self-absorbed tendencies. "Often used to justify blunt or inconsiderate remarks, this phrase frames insensitivity as a virtue," Dr. McGeehan says. "It prioritizes self-expression over relational impact. This is common with someone who is self-absorbed."Dr. Lira de la Rosa agrees."This is a phrase I hear a lot in therapy when someone says something hurtful," he says. "Honesty without compassion can mask self-centeredness. When we're truly aware of others, we take care to be both honest and kind." Dr. Hafeez says this phrase not only exudes "self-absorbed" vibes, but it's also just plain rude."Rather than being willing to hear what the other person feels, they focus on their own feelings, often cutting off deeper connection or understanding," she Sure about that one?"This statement assumes that others are constantly focused on them, which is a hallmark of self-absorbed thinking," Dr. Hafeez says. "It shows a limited ability to see others as independent of their own narrative."Dr. Lira de la Rosa adds that individuals who frequently use this phrase are often prone to defensiveness and tend to have inflated views of themselves. This one sounds cool. However, it can be rather cold when used in certain situations."This phrase often dismisses others' emotional needs or challenges, implying they are unimportant or excessive," Dr. McGeehan explains. "I usually hear this one when someone comes to a friend for support, and that friend is too self-absorbed to tolerate holding space for someone else."To add insult to injury?"This phrase dismisses this person's need while also adding a flavor of judgment by calling it drama," Dr. McGeehan warns. Dr. McGeehan says this phrase lacks empathy and centers on the self-absorbed person's way of thinking."It often minimizes the speaker's experience in favor of showcasing their perceived superiority or decisiveness," she Dr. Smith says this step is an internal one—no one needs to be aware of it. However, it can help you intentionally create more balance in interactions with caveat: "No one is asking you to stop considering yourself," she clarifies. "They'd just like for you to grow by considering them too."For instance, she says you may notice that you consider yourself at a 10:1 ratio—don't expect to reach a 50:50 ratio in an hour."Even the best of us are not always completely balanced, so that does not need to be the goal," Dr. Smith says. "Rather, just focus on increasing the number of times you actually pause to consider the person you're speaking with or interacting with."Related: Active listening isn't just about opening your ears but your mind as well."This means really focusing on what the other person is saying instead of thinking about what you want to say next," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "It builds empathy and reminds them that being present is more powerful than trying to solve or redirect." After listening with curiosity, you'll be better equipped to ask some questions that make a person feel seen and cared for."Asking thoughtful, non-performative questions keeps the focus on connection rather than control," Dr. McGeehan says. "It signals genuine interest and helps shift your attention away from being understood to understanding. This is often a soft skill that is underdeveloped for someone who is self-absorbed."Related: It's not easy to work on self-absorbed behavior, and it's OK to put it out there that you're trying."By being open and honest with your close friends—who you trust will not weaponize this against you—you are practicing the very thing that is underdeveloped for you: Vulnerability," Dr. McGeehan says. "This will bring it to the forefront of your consciousness while also allowing your friends to gently hold you accountable as well." Up Next:Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D, a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor Self-Absorbed People Often Use These 12 Phrases Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say first appeared on Parade on Jun 29, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 29, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
11-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Self-Absorbed People Often Display These 12 Traits Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say
Self-Absorbed People Often Display These 12 Traits Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say originally appeared on Parade. The label "self-absorbed" carries a negative connotation, and being called that might send you spiraling into shame. However, psychologists insist that many self-absorbed people display certain traits without any ill will. behaviors are often unintentional."Being self-absorbed doesn't necessarily mean someone is selfish or intentionally hurtful," says, a Los Angeles–based licensed clinical psychologist. "It often means that a person is so caught up in their own emotional or mental worlds that they struggle to tune into others. It's a kind of emotional tunnel vision that may be driven by unmet needs, anxiety or even exhaustion."However, Dr. Ayrapetyan warns that self-absorbed behaviors can cause real harm to relationships. She and other psychologists say self-awareness is key and share 12 self-absorbed people often display without even realizing it. They also reveal helpful ways to overcome these Experts reveal subtle traits and behaviors to look out for. Asking for help and communicating your needs is important. However, psychologists stress the importance of balance."If most of your communication is need-based, it can signal that you're being self-absorbed," says ., a psychologist with Thriveworks. "People tend to notice when they are being used rather than valued."A just-because text or follow-up to chat about a pal's recent vacation are great ways to show you care about someone. Dr. Saidi says self-absorbed types are often more focused on how relationships look rather than how they feel."People who are self-absorbed tend to be highly focused on how they are perceived, often through social media posts, curated stories and self-promotion," she explains. "These matter more to them than vulnerability and mutual sharing, which creates authentic connections." Some way, somehow, a self-absorbed person will figure out how to make a conversation about them—even if the path there is a winding one. However, this trait can make relationships rocky."When someone constantly redirects the focus to their own life, they send the message that other people's experiences don't matter," points out Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. "Over time, this can leave friends and loved ones feeling invisible or dismissed."Related: Sometimes, it's challenging for someone to get a word in with a self-absorbed person, which can also wreak havoc on connections."Cutting people off or talking over them makes others feel unheard," Dr. Hafeez adds. "It shuts down authentic dialogue and creates an environment where people feel unsafe expressing themselves." The blame game is always on with many self-absorbed people, but they're never "it.""Feedback may feel like a personal attack, so they respond with defensiveness," Dr. Saidi reports. "They may even turn it around and blame the other person to protect their ego."Related: The issues with criticism and accountability can also lead self-absorbed people to treat saying "Sorry" like a dirty word. When they do say it? It's often not a "real" apology."They may say things like 'I'm sorry you feel that way' instead of acknowledging their impact," says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "This can leave others feeling invalidated and can make it harder to repair the relationship."Related: Empathy is a key component of healthy relationships, but Dr. Ayrapetyan notes that self-absorbed individuals may struggle with it and not even realize it."They may intellectually understand the emotions of others but will often have a hard time connecting emotionally," she says. "For children, this can feel like emotional abandonment. When a parent can't attune to what the child is feeling, it impacts the child's emotional development and sense of worth." This one is often well-intentioned, but Dr. Lira de la Rosa says going into "fix-it mode" without genuinely listening to someone has pitfalls."It can shut down the other person's emotional process," he explains. "In relationships, people usually want to feel understood before they are offered solutions." Related: It's natural to love compliments and pats on the back, but it can veer into "self-absorbed" territory if the need for praise is constant."Excessive dependence on external validation can become draining and one-sided in relationships, especially when a partner or child's emotional needs are being overshadowed," Dr. Ayrapetyan shares. While self-absorbed types want praise, they often struggle to do the same for others."It shows a lack of empathy when someone can't express happiness for others, whether out loud or even privately," Dr. Hafeez reveals. "This can damage relationships and lead others to feel unsupported, even in their proudest moments."Related: Dr. Ayrapetyan explains that it's important to ask other people questions and show genuine interest in their thoughts. Otherwise, she warns it sends a memo that "you don't matter.""In a family, this can cause a partner or child to feel emotionally neglected or unseen, even if that wasn't the intent," she explains. Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes that people with self-absorbed tendencies often take a "rules are for thee, not for me" approach to life."They may not realize this comes off as entitlement," he warns. "When this happens in group settings, it can cause tension and damage trust."Related: Active listening can crucially help with self-absorbed traits, like jumping to give advice and lacking empathy."This means slowing down, making eye contact and showing real interest in what the other person is saying without thinking about how to respond right away," Dr. Lira de la Rosa explains. "You might ask a thoughtful question or reflect back on what you heard. These small changes can make people feel deeply respected and valued."Related: "Self-absorbed behavior often revolves around personal gain or recognition," Dr. Hafeez notes. "Doing something purely for someone else builds empathy and rewires your focus outward."She suggests offering to help a co-worker without being asked, texting something encouraging to a friend or letting someone else have the floor even if you have what you feel is a truly hot and important take. Then?"Let the gesture stand on its own," she says. Self-awareness is key in curbing self-absorbed behavior, and reflection can help."Reflecting on how you engaged helps build awareness and accountability," Dr. Hafeez suggests asking yourself questions like: "Did I dominate the conversation? Did I ask enough about the other person? How might they have felt?""Even five minutes of honest reflection after a social moment can lead to lasting change," Dr. Hafeez Next:Dr. Lilit Ayrapetyan, Psy.D., a Los Angeles–based licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Crystal Saidi, PsyD., a psychologist with Thriveworks Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., a neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor Self-Absorbed People Often Display These 12 Traits Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say first appeared on Parade on Jun 10, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 10, 2025, where it first appeared.
