Latest news with #selfassurance
Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
13 Subtle Ways You're Begging For Validation Without Realizing It
Sometimes, we all crave a little pat on the back or a thumbs-up from those around us. It's human nature to seek out validation, but it's easy to slip into needy territory without realizing it. This can happen in subtle ways that may not be obvious at first. Let's explore some common behaviors that might signal you're looking for validation more than you thought. 1. Fishing For Compliments You might casually drop comments about your recent achievements or how you nailed that presentation at work, hoping someone notices and praises you. It's natural to want recognition, but if you find yourself steering conversations to highlight your strengths constantly, it might be a sign you're seeking validation. According to Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner, a clinical psychologist, people often seek compliments to fill an internal void or to boost self-esteem. Constantly fishing for compliments can make interactions feel less genuine and more like a performance. Instead, try to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments internally before seeking external approval. If you're always waiting for someone to say, "Good job," you might be undervaluing your own perception of success. It's crucial to develop self-assurance and trust in your capabilities. Start recognizing your achievements for what they are, without needing an external seal of approval. This shift in mindset can help you become more self-reliant and confident. Remember, the most important compliment is the one you give yourself. 2. Over-Explaining Decisions When you make choices, do you feel the need to explain every detail to everyone? This habit might stem from an unconscious need to justify your actions to gain others' approval. It can be particularly tempting when making a decision that goes against the grain or is out of the norm. You might think that by explaining your thought process, you'll prove your decision was right or smart. However, this can signal to others that you're insecure about your choice. Instead of over-explaining, try to trust that your decisions are valid simply because they're yours. Everyone makes unique choices based on their perspectives and circumstances. By accepting this, you'll feel less compelled to seek validation from others and more confident in forging your path. Accepting your choices without needing to justify them can be liberating and boost your self-confidence. Remember, the more you practice, the easier it gets. 3. Seeking Consensus Do you often find yourself needing everyone to agree with you before moving forward? It's normal to want consensus, but consistently seeking it might suggest you're unsure of your own decisions. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who rely heavily on others' opinions may struggle with self-confidence. If you constantly look for agreement, you might be sidelining your instincts and judgment. This can lead to self-doubt and a lack of decisive action. Learning to value your opinion can be empowering. Try making small decisions independently and gradually move on to bigger ones. The more you rely on your judgment, the less you'll feel the need for others to back you up. Over time, this practice can help build trust in your own decision-making abilities. Remember that while consensus can be comforting, it's not always necessary. 4. Posting For Likes In today's world of social media, it's easy to equate likes and comments with self-worth. If you find yourself checking your phone constantly after posting something, it might be a sign you're seeking validation. Social media can become a substitute for real-life approval, which can be a slippery slope. You might start posting things not because you want to, but because you anticipate a certain reaction from your followers. This behavior can make you dependent on external validation rather than your self-assessment. Try to shift your focus from external responses to personal satisfaction. Post what truly represents you and your interests, not what you think others will like. Remember, the goal is to express yourself genuinely, not to cater to an audience. This mindset shift can help you enjoy social media more and worry less about the feedback. Trust your voice, and let it be heard without the need for constant affirmation. 5. Constantly Apologizing Apologies have their place, but when you're saying "sorry" for things that don't warrant it, you might be seeking approval. Over-apologizing can stem from a desire to be liked and accepted, even in situations where you're not at fault. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychological and brain sciences, notes that excessive apologizing can be a sign of low self-esteem and a need for validation. It can signal to others that you lack confidence, making it harder for them to believe in you. By apologizing less, you can project more confidence in your actions and decisions. To break the habit, pay attention to when and why you apologize. Ask yourself if an apology is truly necessary or if it's a reflexive action. Practice asserting yourself in situations instead of defaulting to an apology. Over time, this can help you build more confidence in your interactions. Remember, your self-worth isn't tied to others' approval, so don't let unnecessary apologies dictate your behavior. 6. Needing Reassurance If you often need people to confirm that you're doing the right thing, this can indicate an underlying lack of self-trust. While it's fine to seek guidance occasionally, relying on reassurance can hinder your ability to make decisions independently. It's like needing a safety net for every step you take, which can become exhausting for you and those around you. Instead of constantly seeking reassurance, work on building self-confidence and trusting your instincts. To boost self-trust, start small by making minor decisions without asking for input. Gradually, you can tackle more significant choices with the same independent mindset. This practice can help you become more self-assured and comfortable with your judgment. Over time, you'll find you need less reassurance from others. Remember, confidence is a skill you can develop with practice. 7. Oversharing Personal Information If you spill intimate details about your life at the drop of a hat, you might be looking for validation. Sharing personal stories can foster connection, but oversharing, especially with those you don't know well, can indicate a need for approval. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Tulchin, oversharing can be a defense mechanism to gain acceptance from others. Sharing too much can sometimes push people away or make them uncomfortable. It's important to find a balance between being open and maintaining personal boundaries. Consider why you're sharing certain information and whether it's truly necessary. Ask yourself if you're trying to connect or if you're looking for validation. If it's the latter, try focusing on building connections based on mutual interests rather than personal revelations. This approach can help you form more genuine relationships without relying on oversharing. Remember, you can still be authentic without divulging every detail of your personal life. 8. Taking Criticism Too Personally When you receive feedback, do you find it hard not to take it as a personal attack? This reaction might suggest that you're seeking validation and perceive any criticism as a challenge to your self-worth. It's normal to feel defensive, but letting criticism affect you deeply can be detrimental to your self-esteem. By taking it too personally, you might miss out on valuable insights that can help you grow. Instead, try to see criticism as an opportunity to learn and improve. One way to handle criticism better is to separate the feedback from your identity. Recognize that the critique is about your actions or work, not your worth as a person. This mindset can help you approach criticism with an open mind and less defensiveness. Practice this shift in perspective, and over time, you'll find it easier to accept feedback constructively. Remember, growth often stems from the willingness to learn from our mistakes. 9. Needing To Be In Control Do you find it hard to delegate tasks or let someone else take the lead? This need for control can sometimes be a sign that you're seeking validation through competence. It might feel safer to handle everything yourself, assuring you that things will be done correctly. However, this behavior can lead to burnout and limit your ability to trust others. Instead of seeking control, try to focus on collaboration and teamwork. Letting go of control can be uncomfortable at first, but it's essential for personal and professional growth. Practice delegating small tasks and gradually move on to bigger responsibilities. This approach can help you build trust in others and demonstrate that you value their contributions. Over time, you'll find that you can still achieve success without needing to control every aspect. Remember, collaboration often leads to more innovative and effective outcomes. 10. Overreacting To Praise Or Criticism Finding yourself overly elated by praise or crushed by criticism is an emotional rollercoaster that might suggest that you're depending too much on external validation. When you let others' opinions dictate your feelings, you give away your power to control your emotional well-being. While it's natural to feel good when praised, relying on it for happiness can lead to disappointment when it's absent. Similarly, letting criticism ruin your day can have long-term negative effects on your self-esteem. To find a balance, try to develop an internal sense of validation. Recognize your achievements and acknowledge your shortcomings without letting them define you. Practice self-compassion and focus on personal growth rather than external approval. This approach can help you maintain emotional stability regardless of others' opinions. Remember, your worth is not determined by praise or criticism but by your actions and values. 11. Interrupting Others Do you often find yourself cutting people off mid-sentence? This habit might be a sign that you're eager to share your thoughts and gain validation for your ideas. Interrupting can also suggest that you believe your input is more valuable, which can stem from a need for approval. While it's important to express yourself, interrupting can hinder effective communication and damage relationships. Instead of interrupting, practice active listening and give others the space to share their thoughts. To improve your listening skills, focus on being present in conversations. Resist the urge to formulate your response while the other person is speaking. This practice can help you understand their perspective better and contribute more meaningfully to the discussion. By valuing others' opinions, you'll create more positive and respectful interactions. Remember, effective communication is a two-way street. 12. Needing To Have The Last Word Needing to have the final say in conversations may indicate that you're seeking validation through dominance or proving a point. While having the last word can feel satisfying, it can also suggest insecurity and a lack of confidence in your perspective. This behavior can lead to unnecessary conflict and strain relationships. Instead of focusing on having the last word, try to engage in open and respectful dialogue. To overcome this habit, practice humility and recognize that not every conversation needs a definitive conclusion. Allowing others to express their viewpoints without feeling the need to counter them can lead to more productive discussions. By embracing different perspectives, you can learn and grow from diverse insights. This approach can help you build more meaningful and respectful relationships. Remember, true confidence doesn't require having the last word. 13. Complaining Excessively Do you find yourself constantly airing grievances to anyone who will listen? This habit might be a way to seek attention or validation for your feelings. While it's essential to express your emotions, excessive complaining can make you seem negative and unappreciative. It can also signal to others that you're seeking sympathy or approval, which can strain relationships over time. Instead of focusing on complaints, try to find solutions or express gratitude for positive aspects. To shift your mindset, practice reframing negative thoughts and finding silver linings in challenging situations. This approach can help you develop a more positive outlook and reduce the need for external validation through complaints. By focusing on gratitude and solutions, you'll create a more supportive and optimistic environment for yourself and those around you. Remember, positivity can be contagious and lead to more fulfilling relationships. Solve the daily Crossword
Forbes
25-06-2025
- Business
- Forbes
Why The Least Desperate Candidates Get The Job (And How To Be One)
In a sea of applicants, calm confidence cuts through. You've heard the phrase, 'The job goes to the person who wants it most.' But in reality, employers don't just want eager—they want confident. And here's the twist: the candidates who don't come across as desperate are often the ones who get hired. Not because they don't care, but because they carry themselves with self-assurance, clarity, and calm. That's the kind of energy hiring managers trust. If you've ever felt like you wanted a job too much, you're not alone. The pressure of needing work, financially, emotionally, or otherwise, can show up in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways during interviews. But with the right mindset and strategies, you can present yourself as the strong, qualified candidate you are without ever appearing needy. Here's how. Show Confidence Without Overdoing It Confidence doesn't mean arrogance. It's about self-trust and how you carry yourself. In fact, nine out of ten global executives surveyed by LinkedIn agree that soft skills are more important than ever. In other words, how you talk and connect with people in interviews can be just as important as how much technical knowledge you have. Employers notice when you speak with clarity, maintain steady body language, and answer questions directly. Confident candidates don't try to oversell themselves or dominate the conversation. They listen, respond thoughtfully, and present their experience with calm certainty. Want to project confidence? Practice talking about your strengths as facts, not opinions. For example, instead of saying 'I think I'm a great team player,' say 'My last manager consistently relied on me to lead collaborative projects because I've shown I can bring people together.' Confidence is in the delivery: calm, prepared, and focused. Highlight Your Fit, Not Your Need It's tempting to say things like, 'I really need this job' or 'I'd do anything for this opportunity.' But language like that can signal desperation, and it shifts the conversation away from your strengths and toward your situation. Remember: the hiring manager is looking to solve a business need, not yours. Instead of highlighting how much you want the job, focus on why you're a great match for the role and the team. Talk about the challenges they're facing that you're excited to help with. Tailor your responses to the company's goals and values. When you align yourself with their mission, it's easier for them to see you as a natural fit and not someone just hoping for a lifeline. Mention Other Options Without Sounding Disinterested One way to show you're in demand without coming across as cocky is to be transparent—carefully. If you're interviewing elsewhere or have a competing offer, it's okay to mention it. Done well, this can actually strengthen your position and demonstrate that others see your value, too. Here's how to frame it: 'I'm currently exploring a few roles, but this position really stands out because of [reason that's specific to them]. I'm genuinely excited about the potential fit here.' This approach tells the employer that you're making an intentional choice, not just grabbing at the first opportunity. Follow Up with Intention Following up isn't desperate—it's smart. But there's a difference between chasing and checking in. When you follow up, do it with purpose. After the interview, send a thoughtful thank-you note. A week later, if you haven't heard back, send a short message reaffirming your interest and asking for an update. You can also use your follow-ups to share helpful information, such as an article you mentioned during your interview or a quick update about something relevant you've worked on. The goal is to stay top of mind without applying pressure. Each message should reflect calm interest, not urgency. Stay Calm and Patient Throughout the Process Hiring takes time, and delays don't always mean bad news. Maybe they're finalizing budgets, getting approvals, or waiting on internal alignment. If you panic every time the timeline stretches, you'll drain your energy, and it might show in your interactions. The best thing you can do? Keep your momentum going. Keep applying, keep networking, and keep interviewing. Knowing you have other irons in the fire helps you stay emotionally steady and less attached to any single outcome. It also ensures you don't lose valuable time waiting for one company to make a decision. The candidates who get hired aren't always the ones who try the hardest to please. They're often the ones who know their value and communicate it with clarity and calm. Employers want to hire people who are capable, reliable, and confident—people who can hit the ground running without needing to be rescued. That's why your mindset matters as much as your resume. Remind yourself that job searches are two-way streets. You're not just hoping someone picks you. You're evaluating whether this opportunity fits who you are and where you're going. When you approach each interview with that balance, you shift from hoping to win approval to showing what you truly bring to the table. Stay grounded. Stay intentional. And remember: your next opportunity is not just about luck—it's about showing up as someone who's ready, not needy. You've got this!
Daily Mail
12-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Daily Mail
'Like confidence in a BOTTLE!': Meet the affordable fragrance that promises to boost your charisma - one pulse point at a time
If the thought of speaking up in a job interview, going on a first date or walking into a room full of strangers makes your heart race, then this £25 solution could be the confidence-boosting solution you've been looking for. Charisma by Moods is a pulse-point rollerball fragrance designed to help you feel more grounded and at ease. Infused with carefully selected aromatic ingredients - think of it as 'confidence in a bottle.' Moods Charisma Moodroller Charisma is crafted to help you feel more composed and self-assured -whether you're heading into a big meeting or a first date. Inspired by research and carefully formulated with soothing aromatic notes, Charisma is your go-to for a sense of calm and confidence in any situation. £25 Shop If you've ever wished you could buy confidence in a bottle to help you with anxiety-inducing situations then this rollerball fragrance from aromatherapy brand Moods may be the innovative solution you need. Designed to deliver 'main character energy' with just a swipe on your pulse points, Charisma, Moods' best-selling and long-lasting fragrance oil blend, combines bright citrus, bold ginger spice and grounding botanicals like clary sage and cedarwood to help you feel composed, clear and magnetic. In fact, the unique fragrance has been clinically proven to deliver a 30 per cent reduction in social anxiety, a 25 per cent decrease in cortisol levels and a 25 per cent calmer heart rate during stressful situations, making it the perfect choice for everything from job interviews to first dates. But it's not just about the science – the scent itself is beautifully addictive, made with a long-lasting oil formula that keeps working for hours. In fact, one impressed user noted how they 'put it on in the morning and can still smell it in the afternoon'. Charisma features Bergamot to lift mood and ease anxiety, Ginger to energise and sharpen focus, Clary Sage to calm and centre, and Cedarwood to ground the nervous system and boost presence. Coming together with Citrus Spice, which delivers grounding yet fresh, warm and radiant uplifting notes, this euro-aromatic blend is set to be one you come back to again and again, even aside from its ability to deliver composure in a swipe. Alongside being 100 per cent non-irritating, and with 96 per cent agreeing it was gentle on sensitive skin, Charisma is the ultra-clever aromatherapy anxiety-buster you never knew you needed. Users can't get enough of Moods' Charisma fragrance, too, calling it a 'game changer' and raving of its impressive longevity. 'I've been using this for a few weeks now and it's really helped me excel in situations I used to struggle in. So so good!' Raved one five-star reviewer. Another added: 'It's like confidence in a bottle – I actually look forward to social events now.' Looking to discover more of Moods ' impressive mood-altering scents? From formulas to boost mental clarity and passion to mindfulness and joy, there's sure to be a scent to suit you. Discover more Moods Moods Genius Moodroller Unlock clarity and boost brain power, with Genius, clinically proven to help improve cognitive function, sharpen mental processing, boost memory and enhance clarity. Genius has been clinically proven to deliver a 30 per cent increase in brain function and cognitive performance, a 25 per cent boost in alertness and reduction of fatigue, and a 15 per cent increase in test accuracy for long-term memory. £25 Shop Moods Found Moodroller Find balance and inner peace with Found, the scent to bring instant calm while promoting mindfulness. After using Found, 76 per cent agreed it positively impacted their mood and feelings of balance, 73 per cent reported improved mindfulness and sense of being centred, and 69 per cent noticed reduced anxiety and tension. £25 Shop Moods Euphoric Moodroller Perfect if you're after an instant mood boost, Euphoric helps uplift your mood, spark joy and infuse your day with positivity. After using Euphoric, 90 per cent felt it uplifted their spirit with an instantaneous mood lift, 88 per cent experienced a sense of contentment and 80 per cent felt invigorated and experienced a reduction in negative emotions. £25 Shop Moods Fit Moodroller Designed for stamina and immunity, Fit gives you a clean energy boost with no crashes, ideal if you're hitting the gym or simply powering through the day. After using Fit, 90 per cent felt more awake and alert, 88 per cent experienced relief from congestion or feeling unwell, and 86 per cent reported improved focus and readiness to take on the day. £25 Shop Moods Frisky Moodroller Awaken your senses and ignite passion with Frisky, the fragrance designed to heighten the senses, enhance confidence and boost attraction. After using Frisky, 82 per cent of users reported feeling more positive and high-spirited, 76 reported feeling more cheerful and playful, and 69 per cent noticed an enhanced, carefree attitude and a frisky feeling. £25 Shop Moods Hustle Moodroller Formulated to fuel productivity and sharpen focus, Hustle enhances mental stamina and keeps distractions at bay while working to support concentration, helping you perform at peak levels. Hustle has been clinically proven to deliver a 35 per cent improvement in brain signal strength related to attention and cognitive processing, a ten per cent increase in attention accuracy and a five per cent faster reaction times. £25 Shop
Times
12-05-2025
- General
- Times
The question I fear most: ‘What do you think of dachshunds?'
There are not many questions I am afraid to be asked. First because, as you get older, you care far, far less about what anyone else thinks. You just don't. You can't. You just … don't have the time. And the second is that you are so sure of yourself, even if you do say something that inadvertently displeases or even offends someone, you are perfectly happy to say, 'Of course, the reality is — I'm probably an idiot! What I've just said is almost certainly pure piffle! I row back! I apologise! I cede to you!' However. Be all this as it may — all this confidence and flexibility — there is one question I still fear. For I am both
