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Ego Is Not A Strategy: Why Humble Leaders Outperform In The Long Run
Ego Is Not A Strategy: Why Humble Leaders Outperform In The Long Run

Forbes

time2 days ago

  • Business
  • Forbes

Ego Is Not A Strategy: Why Humble Leaders Outperform In The Long Run

Dr. Andriana Eliadis, Executive Education Facilitator & Coach at Cornell University, NY, USA and President at Executive Communication. In boardrooms and corner offices around the world, ego is often mistaken for strength. Assertiveness, decisiveness and confidence are prized—and rightfully so. But when confidence tips into ego, leaders may stop listening, stop learning and stop growing. The truth is, ego is not a strategy. It may produce short-term wins, but it undermines long-term effectiveness, innovation and trust. In my coaching work with senior executives, I have seen firsthand how humility—far from being a sign of weakness—is often the most reliable foundation for influence, resilience and sustained performance. Humble leaders ask better questions, invite dissenting views and adjust their course when needed. They do not diminish their authority—they elevate their team. What Humble Leadership Really Means Humility in leadership is often misunderstood. It is not self-deprecation or indecisiveness. Rather, it is the capacity to acknowledge one's limitations, remain open to feedback and prioritize the mission over personal status. Humble leaders do not need to be the smartest person in the room—they strive to build a room full of smart people who feel safe to contribute. A study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that leaders who exhibit humility are more likely to foster engagement, learning-oriented cultures and high-performing teams. These leaders model teachability, which signals psychological safety and encourages others to speak up without fear of judgment. The Neuroscience Of Humility From a brain science perspective, humility activates a different set of cognitive and emotional processes than ego-driven behavior. When a leader practices humility, they engage the prefrontal cortex, the brain's executive center, associated with self-regulation, empathy and long-term thinking. By contrast, ego-driven reactions—such as defensiveness, status-seeking or 'being right'—can activate the amygdala and other parts of the limbic system associated with threat detection. In these moments, leaders may interpret feedback or disagreement as personal attacks, reducing their capacity for open dialogue and triggering behaviors like micromanagement or withdrawal. In short, humble leadership keeps the thinking brain online. Ego shuts it down. A Coaching Case: From Control To Connection A recent executive client—let's call him David—was leading a high-stakes digital transformation at a global technology firm. Bright, ambitious and strategic, he had risen quickly through the ranks. But his team had stopped offering feedback, deadlines were slipping and exit interviews revealed a culture of quiet frustration. In our sessions, it became clear that David equated 'strong leadership' with always having the answer. He rarely admitted mistakes and frequently interrupted team members mid-sentence to redirect the conversation. Though well-intentioned, his behavior stifled innovation and eroded trust. We worked on building his awareness of ego-driven triggers, practicing intentional pauses in meetings and reframing questions to invite dissent. Instead of dominating the conversation, he began asking, 'If you were in my role, what would you be paying attention to right now?' and 'What would feel most helpful for us to explore further as a team?' These subtle shifts in language signaled openness and respect. Within months, his team's engagement scores improved, and two top performers who had considered leaving decided to stay. His humility did not dilute his credibility—it deepened it. Why Ego Fails In Today's Workplace Ego may offer momentary clarity and control, but it is fundamentally unsuited to the complexity of today's organizations. Leadership is no longer about issuing orders from above; it is about orchestrating collaboration, aligning diverse viewpoints and adapting to change. In this context, ego becomes a liability. Research from Google's Project Aristotle found that the most successful teams shared one key trait: psychological safety—the belief that one can speak up without fear of ridicule or punishment. Humble leaders cultivate this environment by admitting what they do not know, actively listening and valuing input over status. Five Practices To Lead With Humility 1. Ask more, tell less. Use curiosity to replace certainty. Ask open-ended questions such as 'What would be a better way to approach this?' or 'Where do you see opportunities I might be missing?' 2. Pause before reacting. When receiving feedback or criticism, pause. Acknowledge the emotion, breathe and then respond with appreciation or clarification. 3. Normalize mistakes. Talk openly about your own missteps and what you learned from them. This sets the tone for a learning culture rather than a blame culture. 4. Share credit generously. Celebrate team wins and highlight others' contributions regularly. This reinforces trust and psychological safety. 5. Audit your intentions. Before speaking or deciding, ask yourself: Am I leading for the mission or for my ego? The answer often shapes the outcome. Confidence Without Ego Humble leadership is not about playing small. It is about playing smart. It is confidence without arrogance, influence without dominance and authority without alienation. In my experience, the most respected leaders are those who can step back enough to elevate others—and in doing so, achieve more together than they ever could alone. Because in the end, ego may impress, but humility transforms. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?

The Perception Gap: Why Great Leaders Fail To Influence
The Perception Gap: Why Great Leaders Fail To Influence

Forbes

time2 days ago

  • Business
  • Forbes

The Perception Gap: Why Great Leaders Fail To Influence

Anna Barnhill, CEO of AdvantEdge Leadership, guides executives to peak performance with tailored coaching and leadership strategies. Most leadership development fails because it discounts perception. While executives perfect their skills in boardrooms, their influence evaporates in daily interactions, killed by a perception gap they never knew existed. Organizations invest billions in teaching leaders to change while ignoring whether anyone notices this fundamental truth: Influence isn't about becoming better; it's about being recognized as better by those who matter most. The Hard Truth About Leadership Impact This perception gap isn't theoretical—it's measurable. Marshall Goldsmith's research reveals the core issue: The only thing that counts is leadership effectiveness as perceived by stakeholders. Not your intentions. Not your effort. Not even your actual improvements—only what stakeholders experience and notice. The data exposes a startling reality: • "80% of senior executives believed their change management initiatives were successful, [but] • "74% of managers believe they listen well, [but] only 34% of employees feel heard" • "71% do not trust their leaders' capability to take their organization to the next level," while leadership teams rate themselves at 62.6 out of 100 When stakeholder perceptions differ significantly from leader self-perception, the resulting gap becomes a critical barrier to organizational success. Why Perception Gaps Persist Three cognitive mechanisms explain why even genuine leadership improvements go unnoticed: • Cognitive Filtering: Stakeholders form mental models of who you are as a leader based on past interactions. These models act like filters, making them more likely to notice behaviors that confirm their existing beliefs and overlook changes that contradict them. • The Power Paradox: Research from Stanford shows that gaining power reduces empathy and perspective-taking ability. This creates a double challenge: Leaders become less aware of how they're perceived, just as perception becomes more critical to their success. • Emotional State Projection: Neuroscience reveals that we use ourselves as yardsticks when assessing others. This creates a fundamental challenge: Leaders often assess their impact based on their intentions rather than their stakeholders' actual experiences. A Strategic Framework For Bridging The Gap Understanding the perception gap is just the beginning. Real transformation requires working on two fronts simultaneously: developing your internal capabilities while actively managing how stakeholders experience those changes. My evidence-based IMPACT Framework provides this dual-focus strategy, developed through extensive client work and proven effective across diverse leadership contexts: Leadership transformation begins from the inside out. This phase builds awareness of your internal operating system—cognitive patterns, emotional responses and behavioral defaults that drive your leadership presence. Effective internal leadership mastery integrates three foundational elements: authentic leadership development, emotional intelligence advancement and executive presence cultivation. Research shows 85% of job success stems from people skills, making emotional regulation and self-awareness critical leadership capabilities. During this three- to five-month phase, you engage in systematic self-assessment, identify cognitive and behavioral patterns that undermine effectiveness and build the internal stability required for sustainable external change. Make note of the 10-20 stakeholders most critical to your success, and map their current experience through structured perception audits. This involves understanding: • How stakeholders currently experience your leadership style • What specific behaviors they need to see from you • Where the largest perception gaps exist • Which relationships offer the highest influence leverage Transform stakeholders from passive observers to active partners. Create visible behavioral contracts that make your development efforts transparent. When people know you're working on specific improvements, they become more likely to notice and acknowledge positive changes. Rather than relying on traditional feedback about past performance, implement feedforward focused on future possibilities. The process includes: • Monthly stakeholder check-ins focused on specific behaviors • Collaborative suggestion gathering for improvement opportunities • Progress acknowledgment systems • Systematic documentation of perception shifts Establish baseline assessments and conduct regular perception evaluations. This data-driven approach enables course correction and provides concrete evidence of influence growth over a six- to 12-month period. When stakeholders recognize and amplify your development, transformation occurs. Research demonstrates that "when leaders communicate clearly, lead and support change, and inspire confidence in the future, 95% of employees say they fully trust their leaders"—showing the direct correlation between perceived leadership capability and organizational execution. Case Study: Perception Gap In Action Consider one of my executive clients who was consistently criticized for "slow decision-making" despite having strong analytical skills. His measurable improvement went unnoticed because it wasn't visible to stakeholders. Only when he began communicating decision-making criteria and involving stakeholders in the improvement process did perception scores shift from 0 to 2.8 out of 3 over six months. This example illustrates why behavior change alone is insufficient—perception management requires deliberate strategy. Strategic Assessment Questions Before addressing the perception gap, assess your current state: • Whose perception of your leadership directly determines your success? • What's the current gap between your self-assessment and stakeholder perception? • How can you make your development efforts collaborative rather than invisible? • What measurement systems will track both behavioral change and perception shifts? The Transformation Imperative Organizations cannot afford leaders whose influence fails to match their capability. The perception gap represents both strategic risk and untapped opportunity. Here's the ultimate leadership paradox: Your greatest strengths become your greatest weaknesses when they go unrecognized. Every day this gap persists is another day of unrealized influence. While competitors struggle with invisible development efforts, leaders who master both internal operating systems and perception management gain exponential advantage. The most effective leaders understand that influence isn't determined by becoming better; it's determined by being recognized as better by stakeholders who matter most. This recognition doesn't happen by accident; it requires the same strategic focus and systematic approach you apply to other critical business outcomes. Start by identifying key stakeholders whose perception directly determines your success. When stakeholders witness your development journey, they don't just acknowledge change; they become invested in your success and actively amplify your influence throughout the organization. That recognition becomes the catalyst for exponential influence, growth and lasting impact. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?

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