Latest news with #sex
WIRED
21 hours ago
- Entertainment
- WIRED
Lelo's Dot Is Surprisingly My New Favorite Vibrator
I didn't expect 2025 to be the year that my longtime favorite vibrator would be replaced, but here we are. The winner of such a regal spot in my bedside table drawer? The Lelo Dot, a clitoral pinpoint vibrator. I've come across a few pinpoint vibrators in my life as a sex toy reviewer, but I usually dismissed them mostly based on looks: pokey, aggressive, and somewhat medieval. In most cases, the pinpoint was made of hard ABS plastic, making it even more uninviting. It's here that the Dot immediately stood out against other pinpoint vibrators with its super-soft and flexible silicone. Being able to easily move the pinpoint with my fingers made it more welcoming, too. Precise Vibes Courtesy of Lelo From the moment the precision tip touched my clitoris, I knew I was dealing with something far different from other vibrators. While traditional vibrators, like wands, bullets, and G-spot vibrators, diffuse vibrations so they travel in waves across and/or inside the vulva, that wasn't happening with the Dot. Because of the tip, the vibrations are precise, meaning you can explore the glans of the clitoris in an intimate way that you just can't with vibrators that have bigger heads. If you thought that every part of your glans experiences pleasure in the same way, then you're in for a treat—it doesn't. For example, I've learned that the most sensitive part of my glans is the upper left area that's closest to the prepuce, also known as the clitoral hood. When I use toys, I know that if I angle the vibrators, no matter how big the head, so that the majority of the pressure and intensity is on that area, that's what feels best for me. When you reduce the head size down so it's just a point, as is the case with the Dot's design, then you can focus on that one itty-bitty spot, giving you more to discover in sensations. You're not just stimulating the vulva and its money spot, the clitoris—you can stimulate the money spots within the money spot, increasing pleasure exponentially. Having so much control over such a small and extremely sensitive area allowed me to experience orgasms in a new and more intense way, and the Dot also makes multiple orgasms easier to achieve. There's something about pinpoint stimulation that leaves the body craving more, so you succumb to that desire and give it more. Orgasm after orgasm, like I'd never had with a traditional vibrator, made me ever-so briefly concerned. So far, I've managed to live my entire life without any addictions, but with the Dot, I couldn't help but wonder, 'Am I going to turn into Charlotte York? Is the Dot to me what the Rabbit was to her? Have I finally found a vice with which I'll need to grapple?' I've only had the Lelo Dot for almost a month so far, so it's hard to say. But if ever there were a vibrator that would lead me down a road of obsession and lust, the Dot is it. Near Perfect for Those With Vulvas Courtesy of Lelo While the precision is certainly the best part about the Dot, it has other features that make it a must-have for those with vulvas. Like the majority of Lelo toys, it's 100 percent waterproof, has a run time of two hours (which takes two hours of charging to get there), and is USB rechargeable. Note, though, that only one end of the included charging cable is USB-A. The connector that goes into the Dot is a barrel charger, which isn't as convenient as USB-C.
The Sun
3 days ago
- The Sun
‘Letting my boyfriend choke me during sex left me bruised & terrified' – rise of deadly kink GLORIFIED to TikTok teens
FEELING her boyfriend's hands wind around her neck as he bore down on top of her in bed, nurse Paige Jones felt a rush of adrenaline. But that feeling quickly turned to panic when his grip became so tight she felt herself struggling for breath and starting to lose consciousness. 8 8 "I was turning blue," she told The Sun. "It terrified both of us, and we stopped immediately. "Thankfully I wasn't seriously hurt, though I had a lingering cough and a bruise I had to cover with make-up." The couple's horrifying experience is far from an isolated incident, with social media sites like TikTok awash with disturbing videos and hashtags glorifying the deadly trend of choking during sex, a Sun investigation can reveal. One blonde influencer with millions of followers recently uploaded a video with the chilling caption: "How I think I look getting choked vs what I actually look like." The accompanying footage, showing a man's hand tightly gripping her throat, has racked up nearly half a million likes and thousands of comments. Such is the concern that sex education in schools in England will now include warnings to teenagers about the dangerous act's potentially fatal consequences. Experts are warning that children as young as 13 are being exposed to graphic content online that glorifies rough sex, including breath play - a dangerous act that can cause serious harm or even death. As well as being potentially fatal, strangling is linked to strokes, memory problems, seizures, incontinence, difficulty swallowing, depression, anxiety and even miscarriage. In extreme cases women have died at the hands of men who strangled them during intercourse. They include tragic Georgia Brooke, 26, from Ossett, West Yorkshire, who was fatally choked by Luke Cannon, 31, while they couple were having sex in 2022. Devastated Cannon took his own life the following day. Mum's chilling final moments before she was strangled to death by killer lover who claimed it was 'sex game gone wrong' 8 8 Paige, 31, admits she used to enjoy 'rough sex' with her partner and encouraged him to choke her. "I love passionate sex - the kind that's intense, steamy and full of energy," she said. 'For me, that used to include hair pulling, spanking, and choking." Recalling the day her boyfriend took it too far, Paige says: 'His hands were around my neck and I started to lose consciousness. 'My partner felt incredibly guilty and promised he'd never do it again - it really shook us. 'Since then we've stuck to safer options, and we're both more aware of the risks involved." 'Wall of awfulness' 8 8 Fiona Mackenzie, founder of pressure group We Can't Consent to This, is among those calling for a crackdown on vile online content. She tells The Sun: 'TikTok has video after video of - usually young - women either simulating strangulation or saying, 'Strangulation is great.' "It's just this wall of awfulness. 'Young women have told us that this was the key way that [strangling in sex] has been normalised for them - through TikTok and other lighter platforms that welcome children.' Our probe found 28,000 videos on TikTok with strangulation content. One sick clip shows a man in a mask simulating strangling someone, with the vile caption: "Choking the life out of my victim." Another shows a man grabbing a woman by the throat, captioned: "I knew I was the problem when I love when he choked me [sic]." In a third, a young woman smiles to herself beneath the text: "Me remembering the last time I was choked!" Fiona adds: 'The idea that [as a child] you'd be exposed to these gorgeous young girls who are not much older than you, who are showing you how to get choked by your boyfriend, is monstrous. The idea that [as a child] you'd be exposed to these gorgeous young girls who are not much older than you, who are showing you how to get choked by your boyfriend, is monstrous Fiona Mackenzie 'We also found that if you type in choking or you see choking content, [TikTok] will then suggest search terms to you like breath play, asphyxiation and plastic bagging. 'These platforms are supposed to be moderated but they're just slow and often don't do it. 'Meanwhile parents just assume that it's fine for their teens to browse on TikTok, and that the algorithm will only show them stuff that they actually want to see.' Children will be taught that strangulation is a criminal offence under new sex education guidance published in England. Pupils will learn that applying pressure to someone's neck or covering their mouth and nose is illegal, even without visible injury. Alarming surge The updated sex education guidance - its first major overhaul since 2020 - urges secondary schools to address the alarming surge in the influence of the so-called 'manosphere' and incel culture, along with new forms of harm linked to pornography. Toxic influencer Andrew Tate has also been blamed for the alarming rise in young men chocking partners during sex, after posts promoting the idea of male dominance and sexual control online. Strangling is now thought to be the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40. A 2022 survey by the Institute for Addressing Strangulation found over a third of 16 to 34-year-olds had experienced choking - compared with 16 per cent of 35 to 54-year-olds and three per cent of those 55 and above. 'Our research suggests it is now much worse,' Fiona says. 'There is this complete normalisation through social media and through porn that getting strangled is something that you should expect to be done to you." Fiona formed WCCTT in 2018 in response to alarming cases where women had been killed during allegedly consensual sexual activity, with perpetrators let off or handed light sentences by using the so-called 'rough-sex defence'. 8 8 In August last year, Alcwyn Thomas, 44, tried to claim his partner's death was the result of "sex gone bad" when she had asked to be choked. Victoria Thomas, 45, was found dead in a spare bedroom at their home in Cardiff in the early hours, after the couple had been on a night out. Thomas had been drinking heavily and taking cocaine when he strangled her. He admitted manslaughter but denied murder. He was jailed for life in April after being found guilty of brutally "murdering" her. Dubbed the '50 Shades' rough sex defence, it was effectively scrapped with the Domestic Abuse Act of 2021, which clarified that a person cannot consent to being harmed for the purpose of sexual gratification. It also made non-fatal strangulation a specific criminal offence. Although it now carries a five-year prison sentence, in the year up to 2023, around 700 offenders were sentenced for non-fatal strangulation. 'Now if you go to court, if you go to the police, you're likely to get a better outcome than you did before,' Fiona says. 'But what we didn't manage to do was reduce how prevalent the strangulation of women is. 'It's everywhere. It's completely normalised. And women are humiliated for being vanilla or sex-negative if they stand up against it.' 'He seemed to enjoy my panic' By Sun Sexpert Georgie Culley I'LL never forget the moment I felt his hands snake around my neck. I was in my 20s, dating a handsome guy who seemed like the perfect catch - until his eyes glazed over during sex and he suddenly turned into a monster. At first I was shocked as his strong hands wrapped around my throat. We'd both had a few drinks and it took me a few seconds to realise what was happening. As I struggled to release his grip, he just tightened it. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. But he seemed to enjoy my panic. I nearly blacked out. Afterwards, it hurt to talk. My neck was covered in red finger marks, which later turned into bruises. I had a sore throat for days. But worse than the physical pain was the emotional trauma. I felt violated and confused. How could someone I trusted - someone who was supposed to protect me - do that? Sure, we'd had rough sex before. But there's a huge difference between consensual kink and being choked to the point of unconsciousness. This wasn't exciting or playful - it was terrifying. It could have killed me. That's why I welcome the government's decision to teach kids that strangulation is a criminal offence in the new education curriculum. After my own terrifying experience, I feel passionately about educating youngsters after the dangers of asphyxiation. When I started investigating the rise of choking content on TikTok, it brought all those painful memories flooding back. It's extremely depressing that so many young people are being exposed to videos that glamorise this behaviour - without understanding how dangerous it really is. Scrolling through video after video of young women boasting about being strangled is truly horrifying. Explore your fantasies by all means - I'm The Sun's Sexpert, I believe in a varied and vibrant sex life - but there must be a line. Consent, communication and safety must always come first. Because what's fashionable online isn't always harmless - and sometimes it can be fatal. 'Shame' Orla Davidson, 26, was left with bruises around her neck after her partner strangled her during a sexual encounter earlier this year. The restaurant supervisor told us: 'We had a few drinks, went back to his and started having sex - then he began choking me. I did not give consent. 'His hand was pushing on the front of my neck with a lot of pressure, I remember thinking 'this is hard' - and then I don't remember a certain portion after that.' Two days later, bruises emerged around her neck that grew darker, which Orla hid with high-necked jumpers. 'There was a lot of shock and not knowing how to react to it, and feeling a weird kind of shame,' she recalled. 'I knew I should confront [the man] but didn't know how to have that conversation.' Orla confided in a friend who was 'shocked' by the bruising. 'She said, 'he f***ing strangled you.' I'd known it was bad but her reaction confirmed it. I'm definitely worried women are being subjected to similar things.' She is also concerned about the accessibility of normalisation of choking and violent content on social media and dating apps. Orla added: 'There's a lot of videos on TikTok, especially men telling the camera, 'I'm gonna choke you' as though speaking to a woman. 'I've had to block many men on dating apps who say things like, 'I'm gonna hurt you'. "Some people use the guise of being open-minded or being into BDSM when they're actually into hurting women. 'There's nothing wrong with women wanting casual sex, that's not the issue. It's the fact you can go on a date and end up dead.' 'Embarrassment' Another victim, Steph - not her real name - told The Sun she blacked out and had a seizure while a male friend choked her during sex - then convinced her not to seek medical treatment. Now 21, she says: 'Choking was something I'd experienced guys liking and doing since my first relationship when I was 14, which in itself is concerning. 'But this time was different. I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out. "I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it. "He didn't stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened.' I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out. I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it. He didn't stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened Steph Afterwards, she wanted to go to hospital but the man talked her out of it, fearing it would get him 'in trouble'. 'It was terrifying, I wanted to get checked out but I also didn't want to be seen as that girl who ruins someone else's fun or as a prude," she recalls. "My initial reaction was embarrassment, or feeling like I did something wrong. You're not confident in what's normal or not in sex, especially when you're younger.' Steph fears the accessibility of extreme porn to youngsters is normalising violent sex. She is also concerned about toxic influencers like Andrew Tate - who is facing rape and strangling allegations. A TikTok Spokesperson said: "We do not allow fetish or kink behaviour on our platform, we have removed content which breaches our rules and proactively remove 97 per cent of this type of content before it is reported to us.'
Daily Mail
4 days ago
- Daily Mail
The tragic life of teenage mum-of-two allegedly at the centre of suicide banker's under-age sex probe
New details have emerged of the 18-year-old mother of two accused of recruiting two underage girls for sex with a top banker who then took his own life after his arrest. Shauntelle Went is charged with procuring the two girls, aged 14 and 15, to visit CommBank boss Christopher James McCann, 50, for sex at his Brisbane hotel room. One of the girls was living in a residential care home supervised by the Department of Child Safety at the time, according to the Courier Mail. She and McCann were both charged with using electronic communication to procure a child under 16 for a sexual act, and faces a maximum of ten years in jail. Police allege McCann, from Curl Curl on Sydney 's northern beaches, agreed a price with Went for her to procure underage girls to meet him at the Sofitel on May 14. Went allegedly waited in the Sofitel's downstairs foyer when the girls went up to his room, but then McCann contacted the front desk asking the girls to leave. McCann, CommBank's Sydney-based head of health and social infrastructure, was freed on bail to live at a friend's home in Mudgeeraba on the Gold Coast. Two days later he was found dead at a beauty spot in Springbrook National Park in the Gold Coast hinterland. Shauntelle Went has had a traumatic life in the years leading up to her being charged for the child procurement case of two underage girls which saw a bank executive take his life Went was also released on bail, with Magistrate Louise Shepherd telling her: 'You are a vulnerable young 18-year-old woman who was working at the time as a sex worker from a traumatic background.' While it is unclear when she first became a sex worker, she has had several previous run-ins with police, run away from home and experienced family tragedy. Her social media reveals she has been sexually active from a young age, giving birth to her first child in 2021 when she was aged just 14, and her second child two years later. In April 2021, Went's younger brother, Aiden, died after disappearing at the Cedar Creek Falls on the Gold Coast. The 13-year-old went swimming at 5pm at the popular swimming hole, but did not resurface. Police drivers pulled his body from the water around 10pm. He and Went's mother, Sherry Carroll, said she did not know how she would recover from the loss. Went has since posted on social media about the death of her brother, and also admits she struggles with her looks and body image. She has also spoken online about smoking cannabis and drinking alcohol from a young age. Shauntelle with family (left) at the funeral for her brother who died aged 13 drowning at a Gold Coast swimming hole. Aiden Braumann disappeared under the water at Cedar Creek Falls in April 2021 In 2022, after the birth of her first child, a baby daughter, Went posted: 'I know that I've made bad decisions in the past. 'But from now on I'm going to be doing whatever I need to do to change to be a better person for myself my family my fiancé my daughter. 'I choose to change, so if any of you want to start drama you will be blocked not interested in the childish crap.' Last year she admitted in another post that she and her partner were on Centrelink after he lost his job, living with her mother, but otherwise homeless. She has now hit back at social media trolls attacking her personal appearance and her work on the OnlyFans adult content platform, and to refute the criminal charges against her. Went responded to the abuse on her TikTok page, boasting that she made $16,000 in two days on OnlyFans 'so I don't give a f*** which (sic) any of y'all have to say'. 'You think I give a f*** about who don't like me? B***h my family don't even like me,' she added. Went was ordered to live at Brassall near Ipswich under her bail conditions, and left court with her partner Tyronne McTackett, the father of her younger child. Went is due back in court on the child procurement charge on August 4.
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
No strings? No way. The perils of being ‘friends with benefits.'
Emma Medeiros made a special friend decades ago while she was in college. Ultimately, Adam Caldow would become her best friend - and also her 'friend with benefits,' slang for a friendship that becomes sexual but not romantic. 'We wanted to lose our virginity, but neither one of us knew what we were doing, so we thought, this is a good match,' Medeiros recalled. 'We won't be embarrassed if we're with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing,' added Medeiros, who is now 44 and living in Lewiston, Maine. Subscribe to The Post Most newsletter for the most important and interesting stories from The Washington Post. From that point on, sex became part of their friendship, no strings attached. 'We really made it clear to each other, this is a physical thing,' she said. There's anecdotal evidence that Medeiros and her friend, who ultimately became her husband, aren't alone. But there's also plenty of anecdotal evidence that navigating such arrangements can be dicey. Therapists and others are quick to point out the shortfalls of such arrangements and to warn people to prepare for, at best, complications, and at worst, destroying the friendship. - - - Sweetness, boundaries Proponents say the relationships are like zero-calorie sweeteners: all the sweetness without the calories. Critics say the empty calories will come back to haunt you unless both participants set clear emotional boundaries. In Medeiros's case, she and Caldow dated other people, but after two years realized they wanted to be with each other more than anyone else. 'And thank God we did,' she said. 'The funniest thing was, when we finally did tell our friends we were a couple, not one single person was surprised. Everyone was like, well, it's about freaking time.' They got married in 2012 and have been together ever since. A study published last year in Women's Studies International Forum said such relationships are getting more popular, especially among young adults, and that casual sex may be happening more often between friends than strangers. The three psychology researchers in Portugal who wrote the study attributed that to accessibility, safety, trust, an ease in understanding one's partner's feelings, and an ability to still hang out and do friendly activities. But it's not all sunshine and noncommittal fun. Another study, from the University of Delhi, said such relationships were also 'fraught with emotional complexities, as evidenced by unexpected feelings and conflicts mirroring those in traditional romantic relationships.' 'The emotional toll of [such] relationships manifested in stress, anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms underscored the need for caution and self-awareness when entering such arrangements,' researchers in that study wrote. - - - Communicate or complicate Whether such a relationship will work depends a lot on the context for it, said Shay Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta. A successful relationship depends on the participants' motivations and how aligned they are. It also requires impeccable communication. 'Is each person deciding to do this because they're going through a dry spell, or is this some kind of reactive rebound situation? Is it a decision related to avoiding intimacy? Or maybe you don't have time for a relationship, but you want to enjoy sex from a pleasure standpoint,' Thomas said. Ultimately, she said she doesn't believe the relationships have staying power: 'By and large, I believe it's more likely to cause complications and heartbreak and confusion and kind of rupture the friendship.' Tracey Laszloffy, a marriage and family therapist in North Carolina and Connecticut, also doesn't believe the arrangements have a long shelf life. When they end, it's usually because one person's expectations changed, Laszloffy said. 'I think that happens more times than not,' she said. 'The problem is when you think you didn't want this to go any place too intense, and then you find that changes. And then jealousy starts to creep in, and you're thinking, 'That wasn't where I thought we were going with this.'' While anyone can start having feelings for a friend, Laszloffy has seen more women than men get emotionally invested. And then you have people like Natasha Ho. In her case, her former friend with benefits is still a friend - though there are no 'benefits' now - but it took years to get to that stage. While they were still in the benefits stage, there was a period when Ho wondered whether they should start a romantic relationship, but her friend didn't feel the same - and then when she moved on, the friend became jealous and angry and the friendship soured. 'There were a lot of great qualities that I enjoyed about him, but I think the timing just never was there for us to actually be in a committed romantic relationship. And then I found someone that I had the right relationship with, and the timing was right, and the personality was right and what they wanted was the same thing that I wanted,' said Ho, 38, who lives in Tacoma, Washington. She wanted children while her friend did not, she said. He changed jobs frequently, while she craved stability, she said. 'When I look back at it now, I realize that in terms of long-term goals and lifestyle, those kinds of things, we didn't have that compatibility there. We had great friendship compatibility, but in terms of the kind of life we were trying to build long term, we didn't have that,' she said. It took her three attempts over three years to rekindle the friendship. It wasn't until her friend reached out to her four years later that they were able to reconnect. He's even going on a vacation with her, along with her husband and two children. One of the main reasons relationships end is because one or the other has started dating someone, said Laszloffy. 'They've met someone, and they're interested in going in a different direction, and they feel like, now I'm ready for a committed relationship, and so I'm just moving on,' she said. - - - When one party catches 'feelings' Friends-with-benefits relationships can't last because they're unrealistic, said Tracy Margolin, a licensed family therapist in Stamford, Connecticut. There's too much of the good stuff and not any of the hard stuff, like expressing feelings and being allowed to have expectations, she added. With friendship, there is some responsibility, and with responsibility can come expectations and hurt feelings. 'If I told you I was going to call you tomorrow and I don't, you're going to be disappointed. Are you telling me in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you're not allowed to be disappointed because I told you I didn't want anything serious?' she said. 'That's not going to work because somebody will catch feelings. Or there will be resentments.' But more than that, she asked, what does a friends-with-benefits relationship solve, and why would someone want that kind of relationship? 'If the problem is, I'm not ready to get in a relationship, well at some point, you will be. So then that didn't solve it,' she said. 'I mean, is a friends-with-benefits relationship like a ramp up to see if you're ready, and then you say, well, now thanks for that. I'm healed from my past hurts. Bye. Bye?' Relationships are always going to tend toward something, whether it's an ending or the beginning of something romantic, Margolin said. 'I think it's human nature to want to move forward. Nothing can stand still. Nothing is in a vacuum,' she said. 'Could it serve a purpose for a while? Sure. Will it solve a problem for a while? Yes. Can they endure the long haul? I don't think so.' Related Content Hulk Hogan was a well-known Trump supporter. Their ties go back 40 years. 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The Sun
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
I'm terrified my kinky fetish will turn off my hot new girlfriend – what if it makes her question my sexuality?
I'LL never forget the biggest bedroom buzzkill I've ever experienced - and no, it's not what you're thinking. It wasn't bad breath, questionable hygiene or someone wearing socks in bed (though let's be honest, those are all heinous crimes against sex). This was something different. Something way, way worse. I was reminded of it recently when I read a letter from a reader asking how to introduce a new kink. It brought back a deeply scarring memory: the time an ex tried to spice things up by saying: 'Me and my ex used to love this.' Excuse me? Did he really just invoke the ghost of orgasms past? It gets better - he then pulled out a toy he'd used on her and suggested we use it, too. Look, I'm all for saving the planet, but if you want to save your sex life, recycling old toys is not the one. Yuck. If there's one way to kill the mood faster than a cold drought, it's bringing your ex (and her old vibrator) into the bedroom. I'm The Sun's Sexpert, and this week in my no-holds-barred sex series, I'm tackling a powerful question from a reader struggling to open up about his kinks to a new girlfriend. Q. I've recently started seeing a beautiful woman, and I'm really worried my love of anal play might scare her off. Like a lot of straight guys, I sometimes worry that admitting this might make her question my sexuality. Georgie answers your quickfire sex questions I'm not gay - I just really enjoy the sensations. In a previous relationship I used anal beads and absolutely loved them. How can I introduce them into our sex life without making things awkward? Georgie says: 'It's a shame there's still such a taboo around straight men enjoying anal play - especially when there's a biological reason it feels so good. In case you didn't know, men have a prostate gland (often called the male G-spot) located inside the anus. When stimulated, it can create incredibly intense orgasms. In recent years, the stigma has started to shift. The sex toy market for men has exploded, with more guys exploring vibrators, buzzing butt plugs, and yes - anal beads. Anal beads are a sex toy used during intercourse - either together or solo - to enhance your orgasm. That said, bringing this kind of play - or any new kink - into a new relationship can be daunting. Naturally, you can worry that opening up about your inner desires may put your new partner off, but it's important to be open about the things that turn you on. Here's how you do it… Positive communication 5 Create a safe space for you and your partner to talk. Don't do it when they're tired or stressed, do it when you're both in a good mood. Start with a relaxed, open conversation - ideally outside the bedroom. Ask them what their fantasises are first, this will open up the conversation and they will ask you back. You might say something like, 'I've explored anal play in the past and found it really enjoyable - I'd love to share that side of myself with you if you're ever open to trying it.' Start slowly If your partner is up for trying the kink you'd like you to, move slowly. Suggest using a toy on her first, which might lead to a natural exchange about mutual curiosity. Some couples find it hot to try toys on each other - and if she sees how much you're enjoying it, she might be turned on, too. Be open-minded Remember that kink is a broad spectrum. The definition is basically anything outside of 'traditional' sex - but what's considered kinky to one couple might be totally normal for another. What matters most is that you and your partner feel safe, excited, and respected in exploring whatever brings you pleasure. So don't be ashamed. Be curious, be communicative - and most of all, be honest. Use the traffic code system New positions, cheeky toys or wild fantasies can seriously crank up the heat in the bedroom. If you've got a few sexy scenarios rattling around in your head, jot them down and share them with your partner. Not sure how they'll react? Use the good old traffic light system. Green means 'let's do it!', amber is 'maybe, if I've had a glass of wine,' and red is 'not in this lifetime'. Meet our sexpert In her eight years at The Sun, there's not much our Georgie hasn't seen - or done - and she's loved every outrageous minute. "People often ask how I became a sexpert," she says. "Well, I've been fascinated by sex and relationships for as long as I can remember. "As a teen, I devoured women's mags full of scandalous confessions and steamy tips - and I was obsessed with Sex and the City. "Maybe I was manifesting my inner Carrie Bradshaw from day one. "I'd always dreamed of working at The Sun - and when I finally landed the job, I found my niche fast: going to sex parties and oversharing about my frequently chaotic love life. "Over the years, I've built real trust within the kink and swinging community and I've interviewed hundreds of people about their sex lives. "Add to that my own, um, 'field research,' and let's just say I know what makes good sex great." Georgie says being a sexpert is about having life experience, curiosity, a sense of humour - and plenty of adventures along the way. "There's not much that shocks me these days," she continues. "Except maybe a man who doesn't believe in foreplay. "But nothing makes me happier than hearing a reader say my advice helped them feel more confident (and satisfied) in bed. "Now I'll be answering your burning sex questions - and dishing out practical advice to help get you back in the saddle." Spruce up your top drawer What's that old saying? If it's within reach, you're more likely to use it — and no one ever got hot and bothered rummaging through a drawer full of granny socks. Ditch the dull cottons and make space for things that actually spark joy — like sexy lingerie and a few buzzing besties. And don't worry, gone are the days of sneaking into a shady adult shop in oversized sunglasses. You can now pick up a decent vibrator while grabbing a pint of milk - some supermarkets sell them for as little as £11. Check out the Durex Intense Delight Vibrating Bullet available at Sainsbury's. Show, don't tell 5 If you're introducing a new kink to your partner - and you're the seasoned pro while they're a total newbie - sometimes it's sexier (and smoother) to show, not tell. This keeps things playful, takes the pressure off them and helps ease you both in gently. Set the mood, start slow, and if you're bringing in a new toy or sex aid, demonstrate how it works. Think of it like a very hands-on tutorial… minus the PowerPoint. Crucially, never say 'me and my ex used to do this'. No one wants a mental image of your past sex life, so keep the conversation firmly in the present. By showing instead of explaining, you reduce the risk of awkward misunderstandings - and make the whole experience more exciting and inviting.
