Latest news with #singleParent
ABC News
07-07-2025
- Business
- ABC News
Working for someone else made it hard to care for my daughter. So I quit
Chasing a career in law was a surprise to Niti Prakash — and her family. "I come from an Indian family background, anyone who knows a lot of Indians knows there is always a push for engineering or being a doctor," says the 44-year-old from south-east Queensland. "But I was horrendous at maths … and really enjoyed legal studies." Eventually specialising in property law, Niti enjoyed the "boring document stuff". But having her daughter changed how she felt about the work she was doing. Niti's daughter was born with multiple disabilities, which has required a lot of her focus. "Working as a lawyer in private practice, you don't always get the understanding you need to take time to go to appointments. "I couldn't do a lot of things my other colleagues could, like attend evening networking events. "That was really tough." That inflexibility, along with her growing passion for the disability sector, is why Niti recently made the decision to leave law and her work in the disability sector, and focus full-time on her own independent disability consultancy. We spoke to Niti about a career change in her 40s, and what taking the leap into self-employment has been like, while also being the sole carer for her now tween daughter. These are her words. Every milestone with my daughter has had challenges. She is my everything and as a single parent, I have walked every step of this journey with her; navigating those complex systems, fighting for every inch of support. And learning firsthand how daunting the NDIS [National Disability Insurance Scheme] can be for families like mine ... juggling that with work hasn't been easy. My husband and I separated when our daughter was three. That separation threw my world, because I originally wanted to drop down to part-time work to manage all her appointments. Suddenly I had to maintain all the finances, so I went back to full-time work. COVID forced a lot of law firms to realise people can work from home, and they're not watching Jerry Springer. But back then things weren't as flexible. And medical specialists don't work according to your schedule — you take the appointment when it's on offer. I had to ask for a lot of unpaid leave to manage those. Even though no-one would tell you that is the reason they are annoyed, you just felt the heat: "Oh, she's taking another carer's day off." Do you have a unique job you often get questions about? We'd love to hear about it lifestyle@ I've been a lawyer forever and a day. I went from big firms, to small firms, to in-house and government. In one of my jobs I was working as property lawyer, and was advising on specialist disability accommodation. I felt really passionate about it because of my daughter, so I decided to see if I could step into the disability sector. I was successful getting a role in that space and on the side started my own consultancy. Just recently I've gone full-time with my business, and I've been loving it so far. At the start I felt sick about it. I had — and still have — imposter syndrome. And I do have fears about making enough money to make ends meet. I am keeping in the back of my mind that I may have to accept going back to employment part-time or full-time, but am giving it a few months and seeing what comes from that. One of the biggest shifts is I don't feel guilty anymore. No-one ever made me feel that way, but I always felt like I wasn't giving 100 per cent to my job. Just recently I took my daughter to get a new hearing aid, and it felt so freeing. I wasn't going to have to explain the situation to anyone. I just took her out of school early, and simply didn't answer any business calls during that time. This morning, I was able to make pancakes for my daughter, and she was so happy. That's one of the benefits of working for myself, I can do more things with her. That gives me a lot of joy.
The Sun
22-06-2025
- The Sun
My daughter's form tutor used me for sex and dumped me after two years… should I make contact with him?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter's form tutor has used me for sex. I'm 42 and he's 44. I've been single since my divorce three years ago. My youngest daughter is 13. I was called in by my daughter's school because my she had been in a fight with another pupil at the school. I have met the form tutor a couple of times but this time there was a definite spark between us as we sat together in his office. I thought he was very good looking. He contacted me a couple of days later to ask after my daughter. He wanted to know how she had been after our chat. We talked for a few minutes but when I went to end the call, he asked me out for a drink. I knew he'd overstepped a boundary, but on the spur of the moment I didn't care and agreed to meet him. We met at a service station out of town, and he drove me to a pub 15 miles away. We had dinner and we definitely seemed to click. The chemistry was undeniable. He told me he was in a loveless marriage. His wife wasn't interested in having sex with him any longer. He drove me back to my car and kissed me passionately. I hadn't been kissed like that for so long. He'd regularly come to my flat, telling his wife that he had a parent's evening or an awards ceremony. All the time he was getting me into bed. Our affair lasted two years. It was intense and passionate. He told me how much he loved me and, to prove it, he left his wife a couple of times. Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating I thought we'd get together properly, but out of the blue he dumped me and has returned to his wife for good. I know what we did was wrong, but I can't understand why he has gone back to her. Mutual friends have told me that he's unhappy and misses me, but I can't let him back into my life again. I miss him so much but I feel so hurt. I'd be a fool to make contact again, wouldn't I? DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-lover has strung you along for two years, letting you fall in love with him, telling you he loved you, then dumped you without warning. It hurts right now, but once you start to get over him, it will get easier. Should he contact you again, tell him that you won't be his bit on the side because you're worth more. If he's prepared to leave his wife in future, he'll know where to find you – but don't hold your breath. My support pack Your Lover Not Free? will help. Focus on meeting a man who is available. STRUGGLING WITH GIRLFRIEND'S PAST DEAR DEIDRE: I DIDN'T expect my girlfriend to be a virgin when we met, but I am struggling to cope with the 30 men she has had sex with before me. I am 38 and she is 27. We have been together for six months. I've had nowhere near as many lovers as she has, and it's torturing me to think about what she has done. I can't help but picture her with these other guys. I feel physically sick when it happens. Sometimes, I even get put off my stride if we are getting intimate and images of her with other men pop into my head. I was happy when she told me I am the best lover she has ever had. She made me feel so confident and good about myself. I really wanted us to have a serious relationship. But then, one night when we'd had a few drinks, she told me more about her past – that she had chosen to have a termination when she was 18. I tried hard not to pass judgement, but inwardly I felt like my world had collapsed. I truly thought I would do things in the old-fashioned way; get married, have a couple of kids and settle down. Now I am not so sure. I will never be the first one to get her pregnant and that hurts. Even though she is the best thing that has happened to me, I know I am beginning to drive her away. I realise that this is all irrational. How can I move beyond it? DEIDRE SAYS: Why does the number matter? It is history. The important thing is that she has chosen to commit to you. It would be a shame to throw away a happy and healthy relationship because of her past – something she can't change now. How frightening for her to be pregnant so young. Perhaps a termination was the only option open to her if the relationship with the father wasn't right. Your jealousy might be a sign of your own insecurities. Perhaps you are worried that she will tire of you. My support pack, Dealing With Jealousy, explains more. SMALL PENIS KNOCKING MY CONFIDENCE DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN it comes to sex, my confidence has been destroyed by exes who laughed at my small penis. Despite being a muscly man who is 6ft 4in tall, my tackle doesn't measure up. I am 32 and still looking for love. Although I have had many girlfriends, and saw a few of them as marriage material, when we got into bed, they just laughed at me. The relationships never lasted very long. It has destroyed my self-esteem and now I simply avoid dating because I can't cope with being rejected again. I know people say that size doesn't matter, but I am living proof that it does. I feel so alone and destined to be single forever. Is there anything I can do to regain my confidence? DEIDRE SAYS: Stop worrying for a start. You can be a great lover whatever size your penis is, so please believe me when I say that your problem isn't lack of inches, but the hurtful and ill-informed comments of your previous partners. What matters most to women is someone who is sensitive and imaginative in bed. Sexual satisfaction doesn't come from the penis alone. Most women reach orgasm when the clitoris is stimulated in the right way. My support pack, Penis Size, will reassure you and help you to believe in yourself. SHY SON ALL ALONE DEAR DEIDRE: MY son has tried and tried to make friends at school, but nothing he's done has worked. It is heartbreaking. I'm his 35-year-old mum and he is eight. He's a shy boy, but he's also kind and intelligent. When I take him to school, he just stands next to me rather than go off and play. He doesn't seem to have much confidence and tells me he usually sits alone at break and lunchtimes. Sometimes, he comes home in tears after the other children have been horrible to him. It is now starting to affect his schoolwork and he tells me he wants to stay at home, making excuses such as having a tummy ache so he doesn't have to go. I have thought about moving him to a different school, but I doubt that's the solution. I had a chat with his teacher to make her aware that my son is lonely, but realistically what can she do? How can I help him? Talk to him about school and find out if he's happy generally. Many friendships start from shared interests and hobbies, so encourage your son to find kids who have ones similar to him. Try out-of-school clubs to give him the confidence and the settings he needs to make friends. Most importantly, keep him talking so you can support him.
RNZ News
29-05-2025
- Business
- RNZ News
Government plan to reduce 'distressing' Working for Families debt
Photo: Supplied/ NZ Human Rights Commission Amy says she's still paying off the $12,000 in Working for Families debt she was landed with three years ago, amid a messy divorce. She and her husband were shareholders in a business and, she says, he incorrectly reported some of the business profit as income in her name. That prompted the government to think she had been overpaid credit and she was landed with a bill. She now can only receive $172 a week in Working for Families credits for her three children because she is paying back the debt. She is a single parent also paying a mortgage. It's an issue the government is attempting to tackle with proposed changes to the way that income is assessed for Working for Families. As part of the Budget, it was announced that the threshold at which entitlements start to abate was to be increased slightly, and the government would look at options to help avoid the issue of Working for Families debt. Inland Revenue's discussion document said 85 percent of Working for Families households received their payments weekly or fortnightly during the 2022 tax year, based on an income estimate. Only 15 percent were receiving their credits annual based on the family's actual income once income tax had been assessed. Those who were being paid weekly or fortnightly were subject to an end of year "square up" process by Inland Revenue, the document noted, although they were expected to update IRD with any relevant changes during the year. In the 2022 year, only 24 percent of households receiving weekly or fortnightly payments and squared up by IRD had received the right amount of Working for Families credits. Those who were overpaid are left with a debt to repay. The document said debt was a particular problem for low- and middle-income families because it reduced their ability to meet their day to day costs in the future. "Debt undermines the intent of the Working for Families scheme to support low to middle income families to meet basic needs and incentivise work." The amount owed by Working for Families recipients has been steadily increasing over the years. The document noted that in June 2024, 56,800 accounted for $273.5 million of Working for Families debt. There were 21,418 instalment arrangements in place to clear $50 million of debt. "Having to estimate annual income in advance is the most common reason why families do not receive the right amount during the year," the document said. "For many families, estimating yearly income is difficult to do with any accuracy. Under the current income estimation model, families can still be overpaid when their income increases unexpectedly. For example, something as simple as a promotion or starting a new job towards the end of the year could cancel out their Working for Families entitlement and leave them in debt." But the document said assessing people's income very regularly could mean a lot of changes in what people received. If someone was paid fortnightly, some months could have two paydays and some three. Someone who was paid every four weeks would occasionally be paid twice in one month. "Families would need to check in more often to report or confirm their income so that Inland Revenue can recalculate their payments. This would mean an increase in time spent interacting with Inland Revenue and its systems. This could also mean payments would vary every week or month, making it harder for families to budget and plan." The discussion document said the government's current thinking was that a quarterly assessment could strike the right balance between responsiveness, certainty and recipient effort. It was seeking feedback on the idea. The government also suggests a shift from calculating a recipient's Working for Families on the recipient's estimate of future income over the coming year to basing the calculation on past income they actually received. This would help to prevent people going into debt. It is also proposing to simplify the residence criteria for Working for Families and require both caregivers and children to be physically present in New Zealand to qualify. Susan St John, associate professor at the University of Auckland and Child Poverty Action Group spokesperson, said she thought the review was limited. "There are huge difficulties for self-employed in more regular assessment. For income that is not earned regularly it can cause volatility and add to the admin or compliance load. There are other ways - in Australia they hold a portion back until the end of the year." She said the review did not address the problems of Working for Families in a meaningful way. "They arise because the threshold is way too low and the rates of clawback way too high." She said the scheme was confusing with the different types of credits available, and the poorest 200,000 were excluded from the full package, missing out on about $5000 a year. Revenue Minister Simon Watts said the government knew that it could be distressing to have debt to Inland Revenue. "We are interested in what people think of the proposals."
RNZ News
29-05-2025
- Business
- RNZ News
Govt plan to reduce 'distressing' Working for Families debt
Photo: Supplied/ NZ Human Rights Commission Amy says she's still paying off the $12,000 in Working for Families debt she was landed with three years ago, amid a messy divorce. She and her husband were shareholders in a business and, she says, he incorrectly reported some of the business profit as income in her name. That prompted the government to think she had been overpaid credit and she was landed with a bill. She now can only receive $172 a week in Working for Families credits for her three children because she is paying back the debt. She is a single parent also paying a mortgage. It's an issue the government is attempting to tackle with proposed changes to the way that income is assessed for Working for Families. As part of the Budget, it was announced that the threshold at which entitlements start to abate was to be increased slightly, and the government would look at options to help avoid the issue of Working for Families debt. Inland Revenue's discussion document said 85 percent of Working for Families households received their payments weekly or fortnightly during the 2022 tax year, based on an income estimate. Only 15 percent were receiving their credits annual based on the family's actual income once income tax had been assessed. Those who were being paid weekly or fortnightly were subject to an end of year "square up" process by Inland Revenue, the document noted, although they were expected to update IRD with any relevant changes during the year. In the 2022 year, only 24 percent of households receiving weekly or fortnightly payments and squared up by IRD had received the right amount of Working for Families credits. Those who were overpaid are left with a debt to repay. The document said debt was a particular problem for low- and middle-income families because it reduced their ability to meet their day to day costs in the future. "Debt undermines the intent of the Working for Families scheme to support low to middle income families to meet basic needs and incentivise work." The amount owed by Working for Families recipients has been steadily increasing over the years. The document noted that in June 2024, 56,800 accounted for $273.5 million of Working for Families debt. There were 21,418 instalment arrangements in place to clear $50 million of debt. "Having to estimate annual income in advance is the most common reason why families do not receive the right amount during the year," the document said. "For many families, estimating yearly income is difficult to do with any accuracy. Under the current income estimation model, families can still be overpaid when their income increases unexpectedly. For example, something as simple as a promotion or starting a new job towards the end of the year could cancel out their Working for Families entitlement and leave them in debt." But the document said assessing people's income very regularly could mean a lot of changes in what people received. If someone was paid fortnightly, some months could have two paydays and some three. Someone who was paid every four weeks would occasionally be paid twice in one month. "Families would need to check in more often to report or confirm their income so that Inland Revenue can recalculate their payments. This would mean an increase in time spent interacting with Inland Revenue and its systems. This could also mean payments would vary every week or month, making it harder for families to budget and plan." The discussion document said the government's current thinking was that a quarterly assessment could strike the right balance between responsiveness, certainty and recipient effort. It was seeking feedback on the idea. The government also suggests a shift from calculating a recipient's Working for Families on the recipient's estimate of future income over the coming year to basing the calculation on past income they actually received. This would help to prevent people going into debt. It is also proposing to simplify the residence criteria for Working for Families and require both caregivers and children to be physically present in New Zealand to qualify. Susan St John, associate professor at the University of Auckland and Child Poverty Action Group spokesperson, said she thought the review was limited. "There are huge difficulties for self-employed in more regular assessment. For income that is not earned regularly it can cause volatility and add to the admin or compliance load. There are other ways - in Australia they hold a portion back until the end of the year." She said the review did not address the problems of Working for Families in a meaningful way. "They arise because the threshold is way too low and the rates of clawback way too high." She said the scheme was confusing with the different types of credits available, and the poorest 200,000 were excluded from the full package, missing out on about $5000 a year. Revenue Minister Simon Watts said the government knew that it could be distressing to have debt to Inland Revenue. "We are interested in what people think of the proposals."
South China Morning Post
26-05-2025
- South China Morning Post
Can neighbours, security guards do more to help Hong Kong single families in need?
Neighbours, security guards and kindergartens can play a bigger role to help look out for vulnerable single-parent families in Hong Kong amid restricted information sharing under a privacy law, observers have said, after the recent discovery of a three-year-old girl alone at home with her mother's dead body. A three-year-old child was found alone in a flat alongside her mother's body in Ping Wah House, Lok Wah North Estate, in Kwun Tong. Photo: Google Map A lawmaker on Monday also explained that families with special needs could respond better to volunteers in similar circumstances, a day after a welfare official pledged to explore expanding the definition of a 'high-risk carer' The toddler was found on Friday crying alone in a public flat in Kwun Tong, next to the body of her 40-year-old mother, who was suspected to have died days earlier. 'In this incident, neighbours played a pivotal role. After all, compared to organisations, people have more regular contact with one another, [whether it's] bumping into each other or exchanging simple greetings,' Kwun Tong district councillor Lee Ka-hang said on a radio programme on Monday. 'If neighbours hear children repeatedly crying, they can tell the Housing Department about their observations so everyone can be more alert,' he said, adding that the information neighbours shared could be very helpful in supporting families in need. 'When security guards make their rounds in the building, they can also pay attention to what arguments are about, if they hear any, and whether they are persistent. Would these be worth taking note of, with the information shared with relevant organisations? These are ways that could be helpful to the matter,' he noted. Speaking on the same radio show, lawmaker Bill Tang Ka-piu of the Federation of Trade Unions said special care should be given to single-parent families, as it was very challenging looking after young children, especially those still in kindergarten aged six or under.
