Latest news with #sisterInLaw
Yahoo
06-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: I overheard my brother fighting with his wife — should I say something?
DEAR ABBY: I recently received a voicemail from my brother that recorded a conversation he was having with his wife. It was clear he didn't know he had accidentally dialed my phone during this conversation. It was an argument, which lasted two minutes before there was a pause in the conversation and he hung up. I haven't addressed it with him yet because I am shocked at my sister-in-law's behavior during this conversation, and the way she treats my brother. I have known for a while that she blames others for situations she should share the blame in, but I had never heard her in a private conversation until this voicemail. My brother must know those two minutes live on my phone, although we haven't spoken about it. I want to talk with him and tell him that I heard what she said. I'd like him to know I hope she treats him with respect, and that she sounds ungrateful for all the hard work he puts in at his job in their one-income household with two children. How should I handle this? — OVERHEARD IN CALIFORNIA DEAR OVERHEARD: Talk to your brother and express that the fight between him and his wife was partially recorded on your phone. Then tell him you don't mean to pry, but think he and his wife could benefit from marital counseling if they are both willing. (I hope he will listen and have some sessions, even if his wife refuses.) DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. He sits in his recliner chair all day, every day. He says he is 'studying his Bible' or watching YouTube videos. He also sleeps 12 to 14 hours after he goes to bed around 8 p.m. most nights. This has been going on for at least a year, and I am SICK of it. I want a companion to do things with. Nothing I have done or said motivates him to get up and move. Since I am not willing to accept this lifestyle for myself, I take classes at the Y three to five times a week, go to lunch with friends, read and attend our neighborhood book club, paint and do crafts, and talk with or email friends. Most nights, I watch TV upstairs by myself. I may as well be single! Any suggestions? — UNCOUPLED IN SOUTH CAROLINA DEAR UNCOUPLED: Get that husband of yours to his doctor for a thorough physical and neurological examination. People of every age need some form of exercise. When people who weren't sedentary spend all day, every day sitting, it is dangerous to their health. Your husband could suffer from any number of ailments, including depression. Making sure he has been checked out could be life changing not only for him but also for you. DEAR ABBY: When the hostess offers you leftovers after a nice meal, how much should you take? — WONDERING IN THE SOUTH DEAR WONDERING: Don't be greedy. Leave enough food for other guests to take some home if they wish, and don't forget to do the same for your hostess. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
06-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
DEAR ABBY: Errant voicemail reveals a troubled relationship
DEAR ABBY: I recently received a voicemail from my brother that recorded a conversation he was having with his wife. It was clear he didn't know he had accidentally dialed my phone during this conversation. It was an argument, which lasted two minutes before there was a pause in the conversation and he hung up. I haven't addressed it with him yet because I am shocked at my sister-in-law's behaviour during this conversation, and the way she treats my brother. I have known for a while that she blames others for situations she should share the blame in, but I had never heard her in a private conversation until this voicemail. My brother must know those two minutes live on my phone, although we haven't spoken about it. I want to talk with him and tell him that I heard what she said. I'd like him to know I hope she treats him with respect, and that she sounds ungrateful for all the hard work he puts in at his job in their one-income household with two children. How should I handle this? — OVERHEARD IN CALIFORNIA DEAR OVERHEARD: Talk to your brother and express that the fight between him and his wife was partially recorded on your phone. Then tell him you don't mean to pry, but think he and his wife could benefit from marital counselling if they are both willing. (I hope he will listen and have some sessions, even if his wife refuses.) DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. He sits in his recliner chair all day, every day. He says he is 'studying his Bible' or watching YouTube videos. He also sleeps 12 to 14 hours after he goes to bed around 8 p.m. most nights. This has been going on for at least a year, and I am SICK of it. I want a companion to do things with. Nothing I have done or said motivates him to get up and move. Since I am not willing to accept this lifestyle for myself, I take classes at the Y three to five times a week, go to lunch with friends, read and attend our neighbourhood book club, paint and do crafts, and talk with or email friends. Most nights, I watch TV upstairs by myself. I may as well be single! Any suggestions? — UNCOUPLED IN SOUTH CAROLINA DEAR UNCOUPLED: Get that husband of yours to his doctor for a thorough physical and neurological examination. People of every age need SOME form of exercise. When people who weren't sedentary spend all day, every day sitting, it is dangerous to their health. Your husband could suffer from any number of ailments, including depression. Making sure he has been checked out could be life changing not only for him but also for you. DEAR ABBY: When the hostess offers you leftovers after a nice meal, how much should you take? — WONDERING IN THE SOUTH DEAR WONDERING: Don't be greedy. Leave enough food for other guests to take some home if they wish, and don't forget to do the same for your hostess. — Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Irish Times
02-07-2025
- General
- Irish Times
‘My sister-in-law will never organise or contribute to family events, she won't offer to help in any way'
Question My family are fairly typical in that there are three of us and we have been pretty close over the past few years, particularly since our dad died. We support each other and are very conscious of making life good for our mum who struggled a bit after dad's death. The grief brought us together and I think we have an understanding of what we mean to each other, even if we don't say it. Maybe in another very Irish way, we don't speak about everything openly and things are mostly discussed in a jokey manner. However, me and my sister (we are twins) have a closer relationship and we can talk openly about most things. The difficulty is our sister-in-law. My brother got married soon after dad died, even though he had not been dating the girl for very long, I think it might have been, partially, a reaction to the grief. However, my sister-in-law is almost rude to us and is certainly ungenerous in all her dealings with us. They have a baby so it looks like this relationship will not end, but it is putting the rest of us off organising big get-togethers. My sister-in-law will never organise or contribute to any family events, she won't offer to help in any way and he won't contribute to family gifts (eg for weekends away for my mum). She seems very standoffish and a bit dismissive of our family's desire to get together regularly and I think that now my brother is taking her side. READ MORE The fact that my sister-in-law comes from a different culture may be a factor, but she has been in Ireland for more than eight years, so I'm not sure that is an excuse. I'm worried about losing my brother as part of our family, but I'm also upset at the lack of manners of my sister-in-law. I wish that we could all speak openly about this, but I'd be really worried that this would cause an even bigger rift. Answer There are two problems raised in your letter: not speaking about things in your family and the behaviour of your sister-in-law. Not speaking has consequences (particularly for your different culture sister-in-law) and someone needs to break this pattern so that things in the family can be dealt with in a timely and open manner. You and your twin have clearly managed to have a close and honest relationship so you two are in the best position to address this. Changing the habit of not speaking is a huge thing to do and needs to begin lightly and proceed in stages. For example, you might begin by saying that your family has a tradition of not speaking your minds and inquire what effect this has on everyone. You might then ask if you want this to continue to the next generation. This should get everyone thinking and pave the way for more honest discussions. The reason you want to challenge this situation is that you do not want to cut your brother off, but you are in danger of doing this if something does not change as a slow estrangement is currently under way. Who is your brother likely to listen to? Can that person be recruited to speak to him? Or can you invite family over to something (like a barbeque) and take any opportunity to inquire about how the family can be adaptable and flexible in times of change. When we feel that our closeness is under threat, the tendency is to hold on tight and protect the group from outside influence but of course in your case, the external person has already arrived, and is no doubt, feeling excluded. Your say your sister-in-law comes from a different culture so perhaps it is worth discovering more about this. You could ask her how family events happened in her family and country and this might give you a better understanding of her and of how families thrive in her culture. She may feel very left out of your family and her reaction to this could be to distance herself from you all. Your brother may feel torn between his wife and his family of origin and some sensitivity is needed here. Another possibility is that you put your brother and his wife in charge of organising the next family event and they can decide who should bring what, and who should buy gifts for who – this might help them see that fairness is a very important part of all relationships. In the end, it is very important that you do not become bitter yourself and acceptance is a good way to free yourself from this. Accept your sister-in-law as part of your family and try to manage the criticism you feel – it will only have the effect of dividing up the family. We all want to be accepted for who we are, when this happens we might be open to change so work your own attitude first and then see what opportunities arise for connection. To send your question to Trish Murphy, fill in the form below, click here or email tellmeaboutit@ .form-group {width:100% !important;}
Washington Post
01-07-2025
- General
- Washington Post
Asking Eric: New boyfriend comes with a warning from his sister-in-law
Dear Eric: I am a 55-year-old single female. I often get asked out on dates with men that I am not interested in. I recently met a man, and we have been going on great dates. I really enjoyed hanging out with him until his sister-in-law came to me and said things like, 'Don't like him; don't catch feelings for him. Just have fun with him and get what you can from him.' I still like hanging out with him. Should I tell him what she said? Or just keep it to myself and just keep my guard up? — Dating Dilemma Dating: A lot depends on whether you have a preexisting relationship with the sister-in-law. If she's just coming to you out of the blue and giving you dire warnings, it doesn't mean she's wrong, necessarily, but there's no reason for you to trust her. How do you know she has your best interests in mind? So, keep your guard up but also talk about it with the man you've been dating. Maybe he has more insight, maybe he'll have a response that gives you a different view of him, maybe she's completely right. If you're getting to know someone in a romantic context and their relative is talking trash about them, it's very helpful to ask them why that might be. Lastly, think about what you want from this relationship, what you're expecting and what you want to give to it. As you gain more information — good, bad, neutral — it's important to weigh it against your own needs and expectations. Maybe he's fine for you for now; maybe you'll discover you want something more. Staying clear-eyed can help you avoid getting hurt. Dear Eric: My wife and daughter have not gotten along well since my daughter hit middle school (she's now about to turn 18). Part of the problem is that they are very much alike. Both of them have OCD, but they don't obsess over the same things, which often leaves them at odds. They are both in therapy, and both therapists have recommended family counseling, but my daughter has refused. I was driving with my daughter yesterday and out of nowhere, she told me what her problem with her mother is: 'The only things I know about her are her favorite foods and that she has to control everything. You're an open book, Dad: warts and all. Mom won't share anything about herself that is even slightly embarrassing, or that makes her seem human.' When I asked her if she had shared this with her mother, she replied that it was too late for that now. For the most part, what my daughter said was true. My wife was a bit of a 'wild child.' The OCD didn't present until she was older. Now, she is very much closed off about her past. She says it's to protect my daughter from making the same mistakes. My question is, do I share what my daughter said with my wife? Telling this to my wife would hurt her deeply. I know they love each other, but when my daughter goes off to college, I feel that they will just drift apart. — Stuck Dad Dad: I really feel for your wife — she's in a 'cursed if you do, cursed if you don't' position. For many parents, it can be particularly heartbreaking when the things you do with the best intentions, end up being the exact things that create a problem in your relationship with your child. I think your daughter is being a bit unfair to your wife. Maybe it's a by-product of where she is developmentally; maybe it's simply that aspects of her personality and your wife's are like oil and water. However, you're in a unique position to help her see where she's being shortsighted. The statement that she made to you is exactly the kind of thing that a therapist can help your family navigate. Talk with her about what she shared and gently remind her that what she's lamenting is a treatable problem. See if she'll agree to a set number of sessions with a counselor, say three to start. She may believe that it's too late to address this rift, but as she grows and matures, she will likely grow to regret not trying. You should also tell your daughter that you're planning to share some of what she shared with your wife. And then, figure out what of that feedback is actionable and have a conversation with your wife about it. I doubt it's prudent, at this point, to tell her everything. However, if she can hear this feedback as an invitation to vulnerability, and an indication of your daughter's curiosity, it can set them on a healthier track. (Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@ or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at 2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
Washington Post
23-06-2025
- General
- Washington Post
Asking Eric: In-law's handmade gift caused years-long rift
Dear Eric: My sister-in-law made quilts for two of her nieces. They unwrapped them to oohs, aahs and applause on Christmas Eve at my house. My daughter did not receive a gift. I sent a polite email to sister-in-law explaining that my daughter was disappointed. I received a snail mail reply that included a gift certificate and a note. Sister-in-law wrote that I was a bully and stated that she would never set foot in my house again. She hasn't for several years. What should I do?
