Latest news with #sobriety
Yahoo
12 hours ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Woman Celebrates 10 Years of Sobriety After Using with Her Mother as a Teen. 'I Didn't Realize I Had a Problem' (Exclusive)
Darra Sargent opens up to PEOPLE about experiencing addiction at a young age The mom grew up with parents who frequently used drugs, complicating her teenage years Now 10 years sober, Sargent shares the moving message she would tell her younger selfOne woman is proudly celebrating 10 years of sobriety. In a video posted to TikTok and Instagram, Darra Sargent shared a clip reflecting on her decade of sobriety. The post showcased her over the past 10 years, sharing colorful shots from her life. Though she'd used for years with her mother, she quit when she was five days pregnant with her first child. 'My mom and my dad fell victim to the opioid epidemic when I was in 1st grade … Before that they always partied my entire life,' Sargent tells PEOPLE exclusively. 'They were huge hippies and had a big social life, but nothing too crazy. My dad was a drummer in a lot of local bands so I grew up around the scene. Once they fell victim to the opioid epidemic, my life started to go downhill.' As a kid, she remembers losing her home and needing to stay with various family members as her parents struggled with their addiction. When she was just 13, her father suffered a seizure and ultimately died of MRSA. 'That was when my mom really went off the deep end,' Sargent recounts. 'They were together from 16 years old and she didn't know how to do life without him after being together for almost 30 years. My mom started using harder drugs more frequently and truly didn't know how to be a parent due to her mental health struggles and grief.' Sargent went through a variety of living situations and says she was 'on my own for about a year-and-a-half,' living with various friends' families. When she eventually moved back in with her mother, 'she was already partying with my brother, who was a year younger than me,' she says. 'Once I started experimenting with partying in high school, my friends would always come to my house since there wasn't any parental supervision, and she started asking to join in or asking us to give her things,' Sargent continues. 'She was so deep in her own mental health struggles that she didn't even realize how unhealthy that was.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'She started putting weed and cigarettes in our stockings on Christmas, drinking and partying with us regularly, and just acting like one of the kids," she continues. "It was a normal event to just hang out and drink, smoke, take pills, whatever together.' Sargent decided to get sober on New Year's Day 10 years ago. She says she was up partying and using drugs with her mother the night before, but decided that day she would get sober — a move she still calls 'divine intervention.' 'I was one of those people that didn't really think I had a problem,' she admits. 'My mom was the benchmark for a problem. I thought, 'Oh I have a decent job, I can afford what I need, I'm not letting this take over my life .. I'm just a young adult having fun.' I was only 21 when i decided to get sober.' She recalls a brief period when she had a move back in with her mother — when the two of them shared a room just big enough for a twin-sized bed — as the moment that she 'felt like my biggest fear was coming true before my eyes." 'I was becoming just like my mom. Even though I thought I was just a young adult having normal young adult experiences, I didn't want to go down that slippery slope,' she shares. 'So something in me made me get sober. I found out I was pregnant a month-and-a-half later and I was five days pregnant when I made that choice.' Sobriety hasn't been an easy path, she admits. Going sober at 21, Sargent says many of her friends at that age were partying and going out frequently, but she found art to be a soothing and grounding outlet for herself, coupled with the support from her partner and therapy. 'Following my dreams gave me a goal post, something to work towards and something to look forward to. Now 10 years later art is still a driving factor but I have an amazing support system in my partner and my children,' she shares, noting that she even started sharing her art on Instagram 'not long' after she went sober. Sargent's art is colorful, with most pieces including a rainbow of some sort — a move she says has become her 'signature style.' 'I think that's my way of signifying the rainbow after the storm. I live in the rainbows now,' she says. 'Color is truly one of my biggest passions in life, and I try to collect as many rainbow things as I can! Life is just happier when you're surrounded by color. Color is the way I communicate with the world, and most of the time I have so much to say it has to be a full rainbow spectrum.' As Sargent continued her sobriety journey, she says her mother continued to use until her death in 2016. When she'd initially told her mother that she was going to get clean, her mom asked Sargent if she thought she was 'better' than her. 'She was so deep in her own issues that she just couldn't be happy for me,' Sargent says. 'We had had a rocky life together up until that point already.' 'I reconnected with her in the summer of 2014 when she called and told me she had lung cancer. She was only back in my life for about a year-and-a-half when I decided to get sober,' Sargent continues. 'It was tricky navigating sobriety, while being a caretaker for my dying mother. Our relationship had its challenges, I was still incredibly angry at her, but I had to put that to the side because she needed me.' Now that a decade has passed, Sargent can look back with empathy on the young girl who got into drugs. 'I would tell that girl that's not who she is and she doesn't need to be the person her mom raised her to be,' she says. 'I'd tell her she deserves love, peace and happiness. She deserves to find out who she is, not who she's told she is.' 'Figuring yourself out takes time. We all make mistakes, every person learns and grows," she continues. "It's okay to change and to grow. That's what makes us human. We can go through life with shame about who we used to be, or we can be proud of how far we've come.' If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP. Read the original article on People
Washington Post
13 hours ago
- General
- Washington Post
Carolyn Hax chat: My teen feels pressured by her boyfriend's pushy mom
More from Carolyn Hax From the archive: Her daughter acts differently around boyfriend. Cause for alarm? Wife has a bad feeling about becoming the breadwinner Newfound sobriety causes social anxiety How to tell daughter-in-law to put down her phone Irked by iTunes account with ex-husband's last name More: Sign up for Carolyn's email newsletter to get her column delivered to your inbox each morning. Carolyn has a Q&A with readers on Fridays. Read the most recent live chat here. The next chat is June 27 at 12 p.m. Resources for getting help. Frequently asked questions about the column. Chat glossary
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
A different kind of buzz: Choosing the sober life for Pride and beyond
For some, summer and Pride are synonymous with increased drinking and alcohol-fuelled partying; however, choosing a sober lifestyle is increasingly common. Nicole Lee discusses why. I love queer bars. I love meeting new people, squeezing around a table, and talking and laughing spontaneously. That first pint of the night used to feel so freeing, until it felt compulsory. Everyone's sobriety journey is different and layered with deeply personal factors. My drinking was never out of control. At my 'worst', I was only drinking two to three nights a week. But it felt like my social life revolved around alcohol, and I could feel the effects lingering in my body days later. Beginning with a 30-day sober stunt in May 2022, I gradually reduced my drinks down to five a week, and then five a month. In 2024, I had less than 20 drinks all year. I felt good about this amount, but if I'm being honest, I was torturing myself. Even though I was only averaging a couple drinks per month, I was thinking about alcohol constantly. At every social event, I agonised over whether a drink was worth it. I was doing mental gymnastics over a glass of wine, and it was exhausting. We tend to associate alcohol with rebellion, freedom, and uninhibited joy. When I spotted a coffee mug that said, 'sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised', it just clicked for me, I wanted to experience freedom from alcohol. This January, after years of gradually reducing my alcohol intake, I decided to try a full year of sobriety. And I'm not alone. While data suggests alcohol consumption tends to be higher in LGBTQ+ spaces, sober nights out are increasingly common around Pride and beyond, with DrinkAware reporting that 54% of 18 to 24-year-olds want to drink less. For some people, it's a physical health thing. Alcohol impacts gut health, digestion, and every organ in the body. Following recent research that confirms alcohol damages DNA and increases the rate of cancer, in 2026, Ireland will become the first country to label alcoholic beverages with cancer warnings. For others, it's a realisation that alcohol slowly deteriorates mental health. We tend to associate drinking with that first buzz, before the depressant effects make us feel blurry and sick. Alcohol interferes with serotonin levels and neurotransmitters which exacerbates mood and anxiety disorders. It's easy to self-medicate and get trapped in a cycle of drinking, recovering, and drinking again. When I learned that my baseline dopamine levels were lower than a non-drinker's just because I'd had a drink 10 days before, I knew I wanted to take a break. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Drinkaware (@drinkaware_irl) I'm only a few months into my Sober 2025, but I feel so much peace with this decision. I spoke with a couple folks who are further along in their alcohol-free journeys about the challenges and joys of being sober in LGBTQ+ spaces at Pride and beyond. Amy has been sober for two years. While she knows going somewhere new for the first time can feel intimidating, she says being sober 'gives you and your body an opportunity to truly evaluate if you enjoy being in that space' without being clouded by alcohol. She tends to gravitate to alcohol-free events where she can bring a friend, like book clubs. She said, 'I've found that in sober spaces, the connections often run deeper.' Danielle has been sober for 12 years and finds sobriety to be a 'much more enjoyable state to be in.' One of her favourite feelings is being on a dancefloor enjoying the music without worrying about making a fool of herself due to alcohol. 'I have found that being sober means I am more alert, so can take in the atmosphere of everything happening—the music, the people, the outfits, the energy—in a much clearer way.' People tend to feel like drinking helps them navigate social settings, but going to a new event drunk often means waking up dehydrated and full of hangxiety. Even though she has social anxiety, Danielle feels more at ease going to alcohol-free events because she knows other attendees will be clear-headed and likely a bit nervous like herself. She said, 'Knowing an event is going to be alcohol-free is reassuring to me because I know that I won't accidentally sit beside a drunken stranger who starts to encroach on my personal space or tries to have a drunken conversation with me.' Quitting alcohol tends to make people more aware of other people's drinking habits which can be challenging, especially for people in early recovery. Amy said sobriety made her consider 'how much drinking culture can dominate social life.' And now, she tends to be more intentional with 'choosing more inclusive hangouts with activities rather than just going to the bar.' Most of Danielle's friends aren't big drinkers either anymore, but she remembers the unpleasant feeling of having someone suddenly show up and throw their arms around her while slurring their words. To navigate this kind of behaviour, Danielle learned to meet friends earlier for food or other fun sober events and then part ways when they want to start drinking. She knows a quick exit may sound cold or harsh, but leaving 'with a short goodbye before folks get too drunk or messy' is often the best course of action, especially for people who have trauma around alcoholism or may feel pressured to jump into a caretaker role. Danielle stopped drinking in her late 20s and knows she wouldn't be comfortable dating someone with different drinking habits. She said it's a matter of 'differing interests and preferences about how to spend our free time.' Beyond that, 'I don't want to have a partner whose personality might change when they are drunk, or who drinks so much they are ill, or spends every Sunday recovering with a hangover.' Most people will encounter some resistance in their body when they give up alcohol. It's an addictive substance and even if you aren't actively in recovery, cravings occur. There are loads of techniques to deal with this, whether you're trying to stay sober during Pride or at any other social event. Danielle suggests asking a friend to play an online game with you, watching your favourite film, blasting some music, going for a walk, screaming into a pillow, or 'whatever you need to do to pass the time until that urge subsides.' For anyone in the early stages of sobriety who may be struggling to stay sober, especially around Pride season, Danielle says to 'focus on getting through the next 10 minutes, then hour, then day.' She also recommends looking into techniques to rest your vagus nerve or distract your body, 'such as squeezing an ice cube or triggering your mammalian dive reflex.' If you know a stressful period is coming up, she recommends preparing by researching some tools and methods to help. She suggests: 'Write out a few techniques and place them somewhere accessible' so they are there when you need them. Amy tries to 'stay really honest' with herself and her people. 'If I'm in a rough patch, I make sure I've got some sober tools ready—whether that's therapy or just texting someone I trust. Remembering why I'm sober (anxious girly) and how much better I feel without the spiral helps keep me steady.' View this post on Instagram A post shared by Sober Sallys Galway 🌻 (@sobersallys_galway) When it comes to talking about sobriety and dealing with friends who may not be supportive, Danielle said: 'I'm a big believer in people doing what they need to do for their own health. The reason I don't drink is complex and not something I care to share with everyone in my life.' At first, Danielle told people she couldn't drink because she had an alcohol allergy. 'It wasn't technically true, but people rarely asked follow-up questions.' Danielle said: 'It's nice to be able to share openly with friends and family you trust and who understand, but it's also perfectly fine to keep the real reason private and to just say whatever story or little white lie you need to in order to get people to accept your decision.' When new people question why she has a Pepsi in front of her rather than a beer, she has found that firmly and confidently saying, 'I don't drink alcohol', is usually enough. Amy said she likes to share her experience when it feels right. She said: 'I do think it's healthy to talk about it openly. Sometimes it sparks good conversations and can allow people to get to know you better or helps someone else feel less alone in their own relationship with alcohol.' Personally, I love thinking about sobriety in terms of what I'm gaining versus what I'm losing. Being alcohol-free often means more energy, time, peace, mental clarity, and mindfulness. It gives me a sense of safety and control because I can tap into my playful self, but on my own terms, without a substance. I have so many blurry, happy memories with people I barely knew on the Street 66 dance floor, but I've had deeper, happier, more fulfilling nights out since I've been sober. I get to experience a full range of emotions which feels like an opportunity to feel closer to my queer community instead of numbing it out. Perhaps, most importantly, I feel more like myself. Sobriety also offers me the time and energy to show up for my LGBTQ+ community in essential ways that are difficult to do under the influence. On a personal level, being sober means I'm always fully present and able to offer support when friends experience transphobia or threats to their personal safety. On a bigger scale, being sober means I am always early to protests like Pride, and I have the time, focus, and energy to stand up against inequalities, injustices, and discrimination. To conclude, here are some tips for anyone planning their first sober Pride: 'I would recommend having one friend that will be your buddy knowing that this is a sober event for you. They can provide support and conversation if you're feeling anxious.' – Amy.'Have a look at the schedule for events not centred around drinking like Laughter Yoga or a Coffee and Painting session. Pick a few that interest you and think of this as an opportunity to try something new.' -Danielle. Did you know that this Pride month you can support GCN by donating €1 when you shop online with PayPal? Simply select GCN at checkout or add us as your favourite charity* at this link to support Ireland's free LGBTQ+ media. *GCN is a trading name of National LGBT Federation CLG, a registered charity – Charity Number: 20034580. The post A different kind of buzz: Choosing the sober life for Pride and beyond appeared first on GCN.
Irish Times
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Irish Times
The film Jaws and its Co Mayo connection
Robert Shaw's untimely death was all the more tragic for having happened at a time when he finally looked like achieving peace of mind and financial security. Shaw was just 51 when he suffered a heart attack at the wheel of his Range Rover on August 28th, 1978. He was with his third wife Virginia Jansen and the youngest of his 10 children, Thomas, aged one. He passed a pleasant afternoon golfing and was driving from Castlebar to his home at Drimbawn House, his red brick mansion in Tourmakeady, Co Mayo. The house, on the shores of Lough Mask, was once owned by the Jameson family of whiskey fame. He bought it in 1971 as a refuge to escape the clutches of the British Inland Revenue. READ MORE Shaw had been in splendid form and thought he had heart palpitations. He got out of the car to walk it off. He had only taken a few paces when he collapsed again. A passing motorist turned around and drove back to the village to fetch the local doctor, Dr Frank Browne, but he was unable to revive the stricken actor. Shortly before he died ,Shaw gave up the drink fearing he would die as his great hero Errol Flynn had done prematurely and from alcohol-related disease. 'He had no liver left at all. I decided I didn't want to go that way at that age.' Sobriety came too late for Shaw. He drank a bottle of vodka every day before going on set for Force 10 from Navarone which finished shooting in early 1978. The script was so bad he wanted to quit acting, but needs must when you have 10 children, an expensive house to run and a sizeable tax bill. 'To fulfil my obligations I've taken roles and spoken lines that I would be ashamed to have written,' he once said. He had the starring role in his last film Avalanche Express. By the time it was released in 1979 both he and the director Mark Robson were dead. Shaw is best remembered as Quint in Jaws released on June 19th, 1975 with little fanfare and even less expectation. It is a peculiarity of that film that its leading man - Shaw was billed ahead of actor Roy Scheider who played Chief Brody - and its real star, the titular shark, hardly appear until the final half hour of the film. We first meet him Quint scraping his nails down a blackboard to attract attention to himself while the mayor and locals deliberate on whether or not there really was a man-eating shark in the waters around Amity Island (real life Martha's Vineyard). Quint is an Irish-American who had his head bashed in during a brawl on St Patrick's Day in Boston. He displays his war wound to 'college boy' shark expert Matt Hooper (played by Richard Dreyfuss) while they describe their respective war wounds from wrestling human being and man-eating fish. Quint, the rule-breaking war veteran and shark hunter, and Hooper, the privileged graduate of the Oceanographic Institute, needled each other in real life as much as they did on screen. Shaw behaved like a 'demon' on set and would frequently taunt and tease him, Dreyfuss remembered. He never knew if Shaw was being serious or just trying to get a better performance out of him, but, in any case, the dynamic worked perfectly on screen. Shaw's son Ian, the image of his father, co-wrote a play, The Shark is Broken, in which he played his father and focuses on the relationship between the three human stars of the film. It was staged at the Gaiety Theatre in May in advance of the 50th anniversary of the release of Jaws this month. The relationship between Dreyfuss and Shaw was only one of a smorgasbord of tribulations which affected the young and relatively unknown director Steven Spielberg. The mechanical shark, nicknamed Bruce, worked perfectly in a freshwater location, but in sea water, its rubber skin began to expand and distort and the mechanics short circuited. As a consequence, the shark is only in shot for four minutes in total. The film is an hour old before we get the first sighting of the shark in all its horrific magnificence causing Schieder to improvise the most famous line in the film, 'You're going to need a bigger boat'. Jaws made Shaw the leading man he always craved to be. He starred in Black Sunday (1977) and The Deep (1978) written by the author Peter Benchley who wrote the book on which the film was based. He was edging closer to the financial independence which would have allowed him to fulfil his true ambition – to become a full-time writer. Despite all the chaos in his life and his alcoholism, Shaw had written five novels in the 1960s, one, The Man in the Glass Booth, was successfully adopted for Broadway, but his film career became all-consuming. He was penning a sixth, with the working title of The Ice Floe, when he died. 'When they write my obituary, I would like them to say, 'He was an author who wrote one book that will last and he was also a remarkable actor',' he once suggested. For weeks afterwards telegrams and cars arrived at the Tourmakeady post office from around the world. Shaw was cremated in Belfast and his ashes scattered near his Irish home. A stone chair was erected in the village to mark the 30th anniversary of his death. Speaking at its unveiling, Virginia said Shaw's Mayo home was his favourite place in the world: 'He just wanted to be himself. He wanted real life. Tourmakeady gave them that. He didn't like the razzmatazz of Hollywood.'
News.com.au
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Lucie Arnaz opens up on dad Desi's alcoholism
Lucie Arnaz reflected on her father's late-life conversion to sobriety, explaining he was able to make "amazing progress". The daughter of Desi and Lucille Ball revealed her father had not been very "changeable" throughout most of his life but became committed to self-improvement in his 60s. "Almost when it was too late, he really made some amazing progress on himself," Lucie, 73 told CBS Sunday Morning. Saying her dad was not a person who was very "changeable," Lucie added, "but later on, way later on, almost when it was too late, he really made some amazing progress on himself.
