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Yahoo
30-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Graceful Ways To Respond When Someone Criticizes You
In the realm of modern social interactions, criticism is as inevitable as your morning double shot of espresso. How you handle criticism, however, speaks volumes about your character and can even enhance your reputation. Instead of bristling or shutting down, imagine transforming these moments into opportunities for growth—or even a conversational art form. Here's your how-to guide to responding with grace, intelligence, and just the right touch of provocation. Your first instinct may be to defend yourself, but pause for a beat instead. This allows you to gather your thoughts and not let an emotional surge dictate your response. According to Dr. Susan David, a psychologist and author of "Emotional Agility," taking a moment to breathe can significantly reduce the sting of criticism and help you engage more thoughtfully. A moment of silence can be more disarming than a hasty retort. This pause also serves as a reminder that you control your narrative. By not reacting immediately, you prevent the situation from escalating into a full-blown confrontation. It's your opportunity to demonstrate maturity and poise. Embrace the space between stimulus and response—think of it as your personal buffer zone for brilliance. Sometimes criticism can be vague or ambiguous, and it's vital to understand the specifics. Ask open-ended questions to better grasp the critique. "Can you elaborate on what you mean?" or "Could you provide an example?" are perfect inquiries to drill down to the essence of the criticism. This will not only provide clarity but also show that you are taking the concern seriously. Seeking clarity can also reveal the critic's intentions, whether they are constructive or otherwise. It's a way to sift through the noise and find the value in the feedback. Plus, it subtly puts you in control of the conversation, guiding it toward a constructive dialogue. More often than not, this approach will encourage your critic to soften their stance, realizing they are engaging with someone who values thoughtful discourse. One of the most graceful ways to respond to criticism is to acknowledge if there's any truth to it. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything, but recognizing valid points shows maturity and a willingness to improve. Research conducted by Dr. Carol Dweck, professor of Psychology at Stanford University, suggests that embracing constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth can foster a "growth mindset." This mindset not only makes you more adaptable but also more resilient. Acknowledging valid points also disarms your critic and can transform a potentially hostile exchange into a collaborative discussion. It also turns the focus from confrontation to resolution. By admitting there may be room for improvement, you gain respect and often earn goodwill from others. It's a subtle yet powerful way to turn the tables and take control of the narrative. Your demeanor speaks volumes, often louder than words. Maintaining your composure, even when you feel attacked, is a surefire way to keep the upper hand. A calm disposition suggests confidence and self-assuredness, qualities that are universally respected. Moreover, it neutralizes the situation, preventing further escalation. Keeping your cool also ensures that your response will be measured and thoughtful rather than reactionary. It gives you the space to choose your words carefully, ensuring they are impactful and considerate. This approach not only preserves your dignity but also often leads to a more productive conversation. Remember, you're not just responding to criticism; you're showcasing your character. Yes, you read that right—thank them. Even if the criticism feels unwarranted or harsh, expressing gratitude can defuse tension. According to etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, thanking the critic can alter the dynamics of the conversation, making it more constructive. It demonstrates that you are willing to consider other viewpoints and are open to dialogue. However, a simple "thank you" doesn't imply you agree with everything said. It merely shows that you value the input and are big enough to handle scrutiny with grace. This gesture can often surprise the critic, shifting the tone from adversarial to cooperative. It's a small act that can make a big difference in turning criticism into a constructive exchange. Sometimes it's not the criticism but the framing that makes it hard to swallow. By reframing it in your mind, you can turn it into a more digestible form. For instance, instead of seeing it as a personal attack, view it as a suggestion for improvement. This mental shift changes the narrative from negative to neutral or even positive. Reframing criticism allows you to detach emotionally and assess it more objectively. It's like taking the sting out of a bee, transforming potential pain into an opportunity for growth. This approach not only helps you personally but also sets an example for others around you. You show that criticism doesn't have to be a heavy cloud; it can be a stepping stone. Who is offering this critique? The credibility of the source can often determine how seriously you should take the criticism. A study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology highlights the importance of source credibility, noting that feedback from reputable sources is more likely to be constructive and valuable. If the critic is someone whose opinion you respect, the feedback may merit closer consideration. Conversely, if the source lacks credibility or has a history of being overly critical, their remarks might be less valuable. This doesn't mean you should dismiss it outright, but it does provide context. Filtering feedback through the lens of its source can help you maintain perspective. It's a reminder that not all criticism is created equal. After the initial conversation, take some time to reflect on what was said. This is your opportunity to evaluate the criticism in a calm, considered manner. Ask yourself whether the criticism is valid and what, if anything, you can learn from it. This process not only aids personal growth but also strengthens your emotional intelligence. Reflecting on criticism allows you to integrate new insights into your life. It's an exercise in self-awareness that can make future criticisms easier to handle. Whether you decide to act on the feedback or not, the act of reflection itself is valuable. It empowers you to take charge of your learning journey, rather than being at the mercy of external opinions. Criticism can trigger emotional responses that cloud your judgment. Train yourself to separate how you feel from the facts being presented. This analytical approach allows you to focus on the essence of the criticism rather than its emotional impact. By keeping emotions in check, you preserve your objectivity. Distinguishing between emotion and fact helps you assess the critique more accurately. It gives you the freedom to respond based on reason rather than reaction. This separation also provides clarity, allowing you to address the core of the issue without getting sidetracked by emotional turmoil. By practicing this, you'll find that criticism becomes less daunting and more manageable. If you notice recurring themes in the criticism you receive, it might be time to take a closer look. Identifying patterns can reveal areas where improvement is genuinely needed. This doesn't mean you should change to fit others' expectations, but being aware of these patterns can be enlightening. It's an opportunity to refine your strengths and work on perceived weaknesses. Recognizing patterns also allows you to preempt similar criticisms in the future. You can become more proactive, anticipating potential concerns and addressing them before they escalate. This self-awareness not only improves your interactions but also boosts your confidence. You're not just reacting to criticism; you're using it as a tool for personal evolution. Not every piece of criticism deserves a response. Sometimes, the wisest course of action is to let it go and move on. Knowing when to engage and when to disengage is crucial for maintaining your peace of mind. It's not about capitulation; it's about conserving your energy for more meaningful exchanges. Choosing your battles wisely also means you're not wasting effort on futile attempts to please everyone. It's an acknowledgment that you can't control others' perceptions, only your reactions. This approach liberates you from the burden of unnecessary conflict. In the end, it's about valuing your peace over winning an argument. Sometimes the best way to handle criticism is to find the humor in it. This doesn't mean you should laugh off serious feedback, but a little levity can go a long way in defusing tension. Humor can be a powerful coping mechanism, allowing you to take criticism less personally. It also lightens the mood, making the interaction more amicable. Finding humor in a situation can also put things in perspective. It reminds you that a single critique doesn't define you, nor is it the end of the world. This light-hearted approach can also endear you to others, showing that you don't take yourself too seriously. It's a gentle reminder that life—and criticism—is often lighter than it seems. After you've processed the criticism, the final step is to move on gracefully. This means taking any lessons on board and leaving the rest behind. Dwelling on criticism can be counterproductive and sap your energy. Instead, integrate what you've learned and continue on your path with renewed vigor. Moving forward with grace also involves a certain level of self-forgiveness. Recognize that you are a work in progress, and that's perfectly okay. By not allowing criticism to anchor you in self-doubt, you set yourself free to pursue your goals unencumbered. It's the ultimate act of self-empowerment, turning potential setbacks into stepping stones for success.


Free Malaysia Today
12-05-2025
- Science
- Free Malaysia Today
Scientists show how we read intentions from one another's gazes
Researchers are curious to gain a deeper understanding of how glances can transmit information during social interactions. (Envato Elements pic) PARIS : It's often said the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Another well-known phrase is: 'I see it in your eyes.' This reflects the fact that sight is the predominant human sense: we have a natural tendency to scrutinise the eyes of others, seeking to detect their emotions or intentions. With this in mind, researchers at McGill University in Montreal, Canada, have studied how our eyes can convey our intentions, without the need for words. To gain a deeper understanding of how glances can transmit information in social interactions, Jelena Ristic and colleagues conducted a series of experiments involving between 70 and 80 volunteers, who watched videos of people turning their gaze to the left or right. Sometimes these eye movements were spontaneous, other times deliberately provoked. The videos stopped just before the movement took place, and the participants had to guess in which direction the eyes were going to move. The scientists found that the rate of correct responses remained stable, but the speed of the responses increased when the eye movement was intentional, i.e. when the people on screen were free to choose the direction of their gaze. 'The speed of the observers' responses suggests that they implicitly recognise and respond more quickly to intentional eye movements. It also told us how sensitive we are to information about the mental state and intentions conveyed by the eyes,' says Florence Mayrand, a PhD candidate and the paper's first author. In other words, participants were able to glean intentions in the eyes before any action had taken place. To explain this phenomenon, the researchers examined the micro-movements that preceded eye movements in the videos. In the journal Communications Psychology, they observed that intentional gazes were accompanied by greater activity around the eyes, reflecting the existence of particular movement patterns. It's this subtle movement that our brains instinctively pick up on, as a kind of invisible sign of intention. In the future, the scientists plan to accurately measure the speed, trajectory and frequency of blinking in intentional and directed looks. They would also like to determine whether these properties vary according to intention (lying, helping, fleeing), or whether sensitivity to intentions in gaze might differ in people with social difficulties, such as individuals with autism or ADHD. There's nothing magical about reading people's eyes; it's a skill deeply rooted in us, essential to the survival of our ancestors, and still at work in our daily interactions. Behind every shift in the gaze, an intention takes shape, and our brains often know how to decipher these intentions – without us even being aware of it.


Free Malaysia Today
09-05-2025
- Science
- Free Malaysia Today
AI understands many things but still flounders at human interaction
However sophisticated AI may be, it still struggles to understand our social interactions, researchers say. (Envato Elements pic) PARIS : Artificial intelligence continues to advance, yet this technology still struggles to grasp the complexity of human interactions. A recent US study reveals that, while AI excels at recognising objects or faces in still images, it remains ineffective at describing and interpreting social interactions in a moving scene. The team led by Leyla Isik, professor of cognitive science at Johns Hopkins University, investigated how AI models understand social interactions. To do this, the researchers designed a large-scale experiment involving over 350 AI models specialising in video, image or language. These AI tools were exposed to short, three-second video sequences illustrating various social situations. At the same time, human participants were asked to rate the intensity of the interactions observed, according to several criteria, on a scale of 1-5. The aim was to compare human and AI interpretations, in order to identify differences in perception and better understand the current limits of algorithms in analysing our social behaviours. The human participants were remarkably consistent in their assessments, demonstrating a detailed and shared understanding of social interactions. AI, on the other hand, struggled to match these judgements. Models specialising in video proved particularly ineffective at accurately describing the scenes observed. Even models based on still images, although fed with several extracts from each video, struggled to determine whether the characters were communicating with each other. As for language models, they fared a little better, especially when given descriptions written by humans, but remained far from the level of performance of human observers. A 'blind spot' For Isik, this proves a major obstacle to the integration of AI into real-world environments. 'AI for a self-driving car, for example, would need to recognise the intentions, goals, and actions of human drivers and pedestrians. You would want it to know which way a pedestrian is about to start walking, or whether two people are in conversation versus about to cross the street,' she explained. 'Any time you want an AI to interact with humans, you want it to be able to recognise what people are doing. I think this study sheds light on the fact that these systems can't right now.' According to the researchers, this deficiency could be explained by the way in which AI neural networks are designed. These are mainly inspired by the regions of the human brain that process static images, whereas dynamic social scenes call on other brain areas. This structural discrepancy could explain what the researchers suggest could be 'a blind spot in AI model development'. Indeed, 'real life isn't static. We need AI to understand the story that is unfolding in a scene', said study co-author Kathy Garcia. Ultimately, this research reveals a profound gap between the way humans and AI models perceive moving social scenes. Despite their computing power and ability to process vast quantities of data, machines are still unable to grasp the subtleties and implicit intentions underlying our social interactions. Despite tremendous advances, artificial intelligence is still a long way from truly understanding exactly what goes on in human interactions.