Latest news with #socialanxiety
CBS News
6 hours ago
- General
- CBS News
How a quiet Wisconsin high school senior used her art to connect with her classmates
Waunakee, Wisconsin — According to many of her senior classmates at Waunakee High School in Waunakee, Wisconsin, 18-year-old Molly Schafer was a loner. "I haven't talked to her in years," one student told CBS News. "Not a lot of kids did hang out with her," another said. That wasn't always the case. Back in elementary and middle school, before her social anxiety kicked in, Schafer said she was much more engaging. "There was a connection there, at some point," Schafer said. "...And, I don't know, I really wanted to just talk to them again, or be seen again." That longing for connection, is a common high school lament. But what is really interesting is that Schafer didn't blame her peers. She didn't sulk. Instead, she took it upon herself to reconnect in a most unusual way. Just about every day, for hours a day, Schafer would climb to a loft in her garage and try to paint her way out of her isolation by creating portraits of all those students she used to know. She made 44 such paintings. She put about 13 hours into each one, for 600 total hours of work. She then presented them to the students to keep. "The time and effort that she put into that is incredible," one student said of the painting she made for them. Although the reviews were rave, the paintings also evoked some of remorse. "All of us feel a little regret for not paying more attention," one student said. Said another: "I wish I would have made more relationships with some kids that I didn't talk with." Molly said the feeling is mutual, and hopes other students, and adults, learn from her experience and actions. "You can't go through life thinking that you don't have friends because they don't like you," Schafer said. 'Because that's not the case, people aren't thinking that hard about you. It's all in your head. You just have to try."
Washington Post
11 hours ago
- General
- Washington Post
Carolyn Hax chat: My teen feels pressured by her boyfriend's pushy mom
More from Carolyn Hax From the archive: Her daughter acts differently around boyfriend. Cause for alarm? Wife has a bad feeling about becoming the breadwinner Newfound sobriety causes social anxiety How to tell daughter-in-law to put down her phone Irked by iTunes account with ex-husband's last name More: Sign up for Carolyn's email newsletter to get her column delivered to your inbox each morning. Carolyn has a Q&A with readers on Fridays. Read the most recent live chat here. The next chat is June 27 at 12 p.m. Resources for getting help. Frequently asked questions about the column. Chat glossary
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist
7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist originally appeared on Parade. If you've ever worked in the corporate world, chances are you've had to sit through a meeting that 100 percent could have been an email. In these situations, it's frustrating and anxiety-inducing to feel like you need to contribute, especially if you have to make a concerted effort to speak up. You might wonder how to politely interrupt from calling your bank to a simple conversation with friends could worsen anxiety, making socializing and connecting with others difficult—much less interrupting during a meeting. If you have social anxiety or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), initiating a comment or stopping yourself from interrupting becomes even more difficult. However, you don't have to have a diagnosed mental health condition to struggle in social settings like a therapist, I often find that my clients and I struggle to interrupt at the right time. Whether it's when a client is telling a story or when I'm helping them arrive at a conclusion about that story, it's difficult to know when to speak up. And because sessions are limited to an hour, there's a lot of information to cover in a short amount of time. It can get awkward if anyone interrupts too much, but it's no one's fault—as long as everyone respects and understands the intention behind interrupting. You can avoid an awkward encounter in any conversation by using these seven phrases to interrupt gracefully and On top of the natural struggle, people's interpretation of how we interrupt them also factors into our mental state. A study from psychology researchers at Cornell University coined the term 'liking gap' to describe the difference between how socially anxious people perceive whether or not someone liked them after a conversation. Because of this gap, people were actually more liked than they perceived themselves to be. So, what does this mean for communication? It means you must self-monitor while communicating or consistently regulate your emotional and behavioral responses. Be mindful of what you say and how you say it to the best of your ability when you have to interrupt someone. When our interruptions are interpreted as rude, it's embarrassing. However, as the study results say, sometimes that perception isn't as bad as we think it Knowing what to say is always beneficial when communicating with someone and helps make the interaction less awkward. Keep these phrases in the back of your mind for the next time you need to interrupt mid-conversation. When you discuss a topic with another person or in a group, not everyone will agree with what's said. Politely asking to offer a different perspective signals that you'd like to contribute without assuming that an additional opinion will be welcome. While an apology isn't always appropriate, there's nothing wrong with doing it before interrupting someone. You aren't admitting fault but acknowledging that you know the interjection could be inconvenient or offensive. You're respecting the other person's speaking time while signaling that you must briefly interrupt It's easy to zone out during a conversation if you're not totally interested. If you need to interrupt, you can leave, showing that you at least understand what's going on in the discussion. Addressing the topic also transitions from the speaker's thoughts to yours to maintain the flow of the conversation. Excuse me is one of the most common ways to interrupt someone. However, it's all about how you say it. Using a calm, respectful tone and waiting for the appropriate moment to interrupt is key to using this statement in a polite way. It also leaves little question about your intent. You can also say this with another phrase like 'Excuse me, do you mind if I butt in,' or 'Excuse me for interrupting, but…' to clarify what you're interrupting. Do you ever want to interrupt someone politely but frankly? This statement has a more direct connotation than other traditionally polite phrases, yet still serves as a socially acceptable way to both acknowledge the significance of the speaker's viewpoint and get your point across. If you're in an academic or professional setting, this phrase is also helpful because it helps you have a voice in the discussion without seeming arrogant or intrusive. Brevity is important when you're interrupting. By first asking for permission and then emphasizing that your comment won't take long, you demonstrate that you care about not disrupting the conversation for an extended period. It also creates a more cooperative dialogue because you're attempting to include a more diverse range of speakers. In most cases, when one person speaks up, others Interrupting doesn't always involve adding something new to the dialogue. You can clarify what someone said if you don't understand or didn't hear it correctly, which is polite because it prevents misunderstandings and miscommunications. Other ways to say this are: 'Sorry, but could you repeat that?' 'Would you mind saying that again?' 'Can you say that a different way?' Talking isn't always the best way to politely interrupt during a conversation. For example, you might have been taught that standing or sitting quietly until someone is finished talking is courteous. This is appropriate for when you're a child, but people might think you're hovering as you get older. Subtlety is your best friend when it comes to finding the best nonverbal form of polite interruption. Raising your hand, nodding, and maintaining eye contact (sometimes with a tilt of your head) are ways to let the person speaking know you have something to say. Since over 50% of communication is nonverbal, these slight, seemingly insignificant movements have more of an impact on how you convey a message than you think. When you want to interrupt someone politely, it's important to be intentional about your verbal and nonverbal communication. The goal isn't to shut down the conversation but to get your point across while still respecting the person speaking. At the end of the day, there's always room for one more voice. Up Next:7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist first appeared on Parade on Jun 20, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 20, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
19-06-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
5 Things You Should Never Say To An Introverted Child
Uncomfortable situations are scary for everyone, but they're especially scary for children, who don't have much control over the situations they're put in. Parents or caretakers who want their kid to act a certain way in social situations often make these these situations even worse. This is particularly challenging for introverted kids, who are known to need alone time more than their extroverted counterparts. Not all introverts are quiet, and not all extroverts are gregarious, therapists say, which can make it tough to tell just where your child falls. But there are a few signs you can look out for. 'The classic extroversion-introversion distinction is that an introvert would be filled up by spending time alone recharging, rather than with people,' said Kate Roberts, a therapist at Self Space Therapy in Washington. Introverted children may become very tired and drained after social events, may opt to spend time alone or with one close friend instead of a group, probably don't like being the center of attention and may take more time to warm up to people, said therapist Rachel Wolff, the owner of Flow Wellness in Philadelphia. While society doesn't usually celebrate introversion, it's important that parents and caretakers do their best to celebrate it and not try to change it. Therapists told HuffPost there are damaging phrases you really shouldn't say to introverted children for many reasons. Here's what to know: Any introvert, whether young or old, has probably heard the phrase 'speak up more' or 'be friendly,' but these are two damaging comments, Wolff said. 'This can make a child think that whatever they're doing is wrong and it can suggest that your child should ignore their own comfort level to make someone else more comfortable' whether that's their parent or in certain social situations, Wolff said. In some cases, this is a direct route to people-pleasing, Wolff noted. 'Please don't tell your child that they're being rude by being quiet,' Wolff said. 'Again, this suggests your child is doing harm to others by listening to their own body.' It also portrays their shyness or introversion as something that's bad or shameful, said Roberts of Self Space Therapy. 'In a society that really privileges extraversion and sort of holds it up as an ideal, shyness can come off as weakness or disinterest or some kind of flaw that it really isn't,' she added. 'I'd stay away from any statements that could create labels of shyness or cause shame,' Wolff said. 'Why are you being so shy?' is an example of this, as is 'stop being so shy.' 'Both of these are calling out the child's shyness or quietness as a bad thing.' Wolff said. 'And being quiet is not a flaw, it's a personality trait.' 'I wish that [shyness] could be seen more as a different and really valuable way of experiencing the world,' Roberts added. 'I think oftentimes kids that are shy or introverted have these superpowers of observation, or they're taking in a lot of information about the people and places around them.' As mentioned above, society loves an extrovert. They're the popular kids in school, the main characters in movies and the life of the party, but that doesn't mean it's better to be an extrovert in society. Introverts live just as loving and fulfilling lives — even if popular culture doesn't make it seem that way. Because of this, Wolff said caretakers shouldn't say anything that insinuates that their introversion will limit them. So, any phrases like 'you won't get anywhere if you're that quiet' shouldn't be said to your introverted kid, Wolff said. Any time you question a child's natural behavior by asking, 'Why are you so shy?' 'Why won't you go talk to them?' or 'Why won't you just go play on that team?' is problematic, said KaiLi McGrath, a licensed master social worker with Thriveworks in Royal Oak, Michigan. Questions like this often create an immediate sense of judgement, McGrath said. 'And then create, especially in children, shame and guilt for the way that they are feeling,' she added. 'It's really looking at how is my child feeling in this moment, and what can I do to support that feeling, versus placing this immediate shame onto what they are experiencing,' McGrath said. Children are just tiny humans, explained McGrath, and this is often forgotten. '[Adults are] allowed to be quiet when you're tired... and we don't question that. We can explain, but they don't have the same words to say, 'I'm just really tired today,' or 'I don't feel like going out and running on the soccer field today,'' McGrath said. When an adult is tired, they can make the decision not to go to the gym — the same isn't true for a kid. 'And so it's really just taking us from a human perspective like, 'I feel this way sometimes, why wouldn't they?'' McGrath said, noting that children look to adults to develop their sense of self. 'So, if I'm constantly saying, 'Why are you so shy?' 'Why won't you go interact?'... I'm immediately telling them that it's wrong that they don't follow that social norm,' McGrath added. Instead of questioning your child's shyness or making them feel lesser just by being themselves, work on using affirming language. According to McGrath, statements like 'you are allowed to feel this way' and 'take your time' are important ways to teach a child to listen to themselves while also giving them permission to be quiet at a family dinner or take some extra time before warming up to a new friend on the playground. 'You are showing them that you trust them and their feelings and their needs, and they are able to trust themselves within that as well,' McGrath said. And this is a valuable skill to have at any point in life, she added. By allowing a child to feel what they need to or do what they need, they also learn to validate their emotions — something that many people, even adults, struggle with. If you are concerned that your child's shyness or introversion is getting in the way of their day-to-day life, lead with curiosity instead of judgement, said Roberts. 'Try and connect with the child, maybe asking about their experience, like, 'What's it like for you when you're around new people?' Because oftentimes, kids might feel really overstimulated when there's a lot of new people around, and the parent might not recognize that,' Roberts said. It'll only help your relationship with your child if you understand them more deeply and get on the same page about the things that are difficult for them, Roberts added. If your child needs some help understanding how they feel, check in with them during one-on-one time, Wolff said. 'More specifically, you can check in to see if your child is happy, content and more at ease during alone time, which may indicate that they're more introverted, or if they're feeling more sad, lonely and craving social connection, that could be a sign that they're more extroverted,' Wolff noted. You can also check in with them during social gatherings to see how they're social battery is doing, she added. 'Overall, knowing the difference between these can be helpful for making sure that parents are acknowledging and respecting a really important part of their child's internal experiences,' Wolff said. If your child does want to be alone sometimes or play alone, try not to jump to conclusions about their future social situations, Wolff said. 'If this is happening, your child is likely listening to their bodies, which should be encouraged and praised,' she added. What 'Only Children' Bring Up The Most In Therapy The 6 Issues People-Pleasers Bring Up The Most In Therapy Sorry, The Emoji-Over-Face Parents Might Be Right About Online Privacy
BBC News
15-06-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
'Embarrassing myself on purpose is liberating'
A "so shy" woman who has been purposely embarrassing herself in public to try and overcome her social anxiety said it had "changed her life".TikToker Sophie Jones, 23, has been documenting her experiences with so-called rejection therapy, when someone purposely seeks knock-backs to build their confidence and combat their fear of being rebuffed, and has amassed 350,000 has gone to the supermarket wearing a wedding dress and even asked strangers to try on their shoes."It's definitely scary but if you feel the fear and do it anyway, it honestly is life-changing," she said. The social media star from Warrington said she began the challenges after a devastating break-up made her realise she had a fear of said: "I just was holding myself back and thought, 'You know what, this challenge makes my skin crawl'."So I thought if it makes my skin crawl that much then you clearly have a fear of rejection so give it a go." 'Life as a playground' She said it had increased her confidence and her whole perspective had changed. "I just see life more as like a playground and we don't have to stay caged in this invisible box," she said. "We're allowed to just be free." Professor of Counselling Psychology at University of Manchester, Terry Hanley, said rejection therapy was not something a professional would be trained in but said it could have some roots in behavioural said some might report benefits but warned there could be safety Hanley said: "Going up to strangers or shouting things on trains might not be the most sensible of activities."Therapists talk about creating a 'safe space' for people to explore. This has a contract and specific boundaries. This type of 'rejection therapy' does not." Mr Hanley said there were other ways for people to "generate an uncomfortable experience to reflect upon"."Joining things like drama, dancing or sports groups might be a safer way to feel out of your comfort zone."But Ms Jones said she would continue to carry out the challenges to show that "we should not care what others think of us" and "people staring can't hurt you"."The amount of opportunities I've had that I never would have had if I hadn't have just asked," she said."Just by asking the question and by purposely seeking it, you become desensitised to it and then your life becomes limitless." Listen to the best of BBC Radio Manchester on Sounds and follow BBC Manchester on Facebook, X, and Instagram. You can also send story ideas to
