08-07-2025
I just moved to Sydney from Italy and I'm deeply bothered by how everyone behaves here - is it just me?
A young woman who moved to Sydney from Milan has confessed that her everyday interactions are leaving her so confused and disheartened that she sometimes ends up in tears.
In a now-viral Reddit post, the Italian woman who has lived Down Under for four months described how she feels 'people are annoyed with [her]' every time she goes about her day - and she's struggling to understand why.
'I recently moved to Sydney from Milan and I'm finding daily interactions pretty frustrating,' she wrote.
'I have a persistent feeling that people are annoyed with me, and I can't quite pinpoint why. Sometimes I even cry after just running errands because I don't understand what's going on.'
The woman explained that although she's well-travelled and used to city life - having spent time in both Los Angeles and New York - Sydney's social cues feel completely alien.
'In [LA or NYC ] I could easily read people's expressions and intentions. Even if people were blunt or cold, I never took it personally. But here in Sydney, I'm completely lost,' she said.
She wondered whether her Italian-American accent or her fashion choices - what she described as 'too Milan' - could be putting people off, but was at a loss to explain the disconnect.
One social custom in particular has her feeling even more out of place: the casual 'how are you today?' greeting.
'In Italy, we don't really have this, and in LA it felt easy and natural,' she explained.
'But here, I often get what feels like an annoyed or stiff reaction. I never know how much warmth to put into my response, or if I'm doing something wrong.'
She also suggested that Aussies seemed 'dissociated' in public settings - something many expats agreed with her on.
'I keep reading everywhere about how nice Australians are. That's true for my partner (who is from the suburbs, though), his family, and pretty much everyone I meet through him,' she said.
'But then he leaves for work, and I go run my errands, and everyone is... just as you said, dissociated.'
Despite her growing unease, the woman shared that most people do seem to 'loosen up' slightly after a few minutes of conversation - a small glimmer of hope as she tries to integrate into her new home, where she lives with her Australian fiancé.
The post struck a nerve, especially with expats and Australians who had lived abroad and returned home.
'I'm Australian but spent over a decade in the US - and I felt the exact same way coming home,' one person replied.
'Americans are conditioned for cheerfulness and extroversion. Australians can seem cold by comparison - but it's really just a cultural difference.'
Others chimed in with practical advice: 'If you're enthusiastically asking strangers "How are you today?" in Sydney, people might think you're a charity fundraiser,' one user said bluntly.
'Try "How's it going?" instead. The more casual, the better,' a second advised.
Another added, 'When Australians say "how are you", it's really just a long version of "hello". They're not actually asking for a full update on your life.'
Aussies also warned that striking up casual conversation with strangers in the city can sometimes backfire.
'In Sydney, people often assume anyone trying to chat them up in public either wants something or is a bit unhinged. It's not personal.'
But not everyone thought the issue was purely cultural.
'It's most likely your accent. For most Australians, an American accent is grating,' one sensationally claimed.
Despite the mixed responses, many agreed the woman's experience touches on a deeper truth about adjusting to Australian social norms, particularly for those used to more outwardly expressive cultures.
