Latest news with #startingover
Independent Singapore
6 days ago
- Business
- Independent Singapore
34 yo mum shares she's starting over with just S$2k after husband allegedly took most of her money
SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to share that she is starting over at 34 after her soon-to-be ex-husband allegedly took most of her money during their marriage. Posting on the r/singaporefi forum on Wednesday (July 16), the woman revealed that she and her husband have two children, and she is now filing for divorce for 'many reasons,' including financial abuse. She explained that she had been trying to support his business financially, but her husband took the help for granted and kept demanding more money. Eventually, he began 'threatening' her when she hesitated to give in to his requests. 'I left the house with just S$2k in cash,' she shared. 'It was so devastating, but I guess it will be a good start again.' The woman, who now works as a freelance tutor earning between S$3.5k and S$4k a month, said she's trying to rebuild her life from scratch. She also asked others in the community if they had any advice for her, writing: 'Anyone with similar experience care to share what you've done to start over? I've been wondering if I need to upskill myself, too. I think I've been so isolated from the real world for so long during my marriage.' 'We need the fire to show our children that Mum is strong and we can survive.' After reading the woman's plea for help, many Singaporean Reddit users chimed in to offer words of comfort and advice. One user commented, 'Sorry to hear that. But increasing your income is your main priority right now. There is always a rainbow after the rain, and please do not despair. I know it is easy to say this, but you gotta stay strong for yourself and for your two children. They need you.' Another wrote, 'Sorry to hear that. I hope he's not abusive (physical violence) otherwise, do get court protection. Get support from family members if they can help to tide over this tough period. They continued, 'You have done the right thing. Things will only get better the moment you muster the courage to step out of a toxic relationship and environment. Continue doing what you are good at; switch out tutoring if it is no longer sustainable. Try group tuition at lower fees if parents are ok.' A third user, who coincidentally is the same age and going through the same situation as the woman, said: 'It's okay to start over. Single mothers are quite resilient, and age does not matter. We need the fire to show our children that Mummy is strong and we can survive.' She added, 'You can try to explore career conversion programmes too under WSG and see which one piques your interest. All the best.' In other news, a 25-year-old jobseeker was left unsettled after being repeatedly asked about her marital status during a virtual interview with a multinational corporation (MNC). On Tuesday (July 15), the woman took to the r/askSingapore Reddit forum to share her experience and seek advice. According to her post, the interview was conducted virtually and one-on-one with a middle-aged manager from the department she had applied to, rather than a representative from human resources. Read more: 'Are you single?': Female jobseeker disturbed by personal questions on marital status during job interview See also Identifying a Serial Cheater: Key Warning Signs in Relationships Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)
CBC
06-07-2025
- Business
- CBC
People getting divorced are setting up gift registries. Don't roll your eyes just yet
When Stacey Slager's marriage ended, a colleague suggested she start a divorce registry: a list of items that friends and family could get her as gifts, to help her start over. "I never had a wedding registry when I got married because my ex-husband and I both had been living on our own and didn't need very much," said Slager, whose 14-year marriage ended in 2023. "But when it came time to get divorced, we were separating a household and he got some things like the vacuum cleaner. And I was going to need those kinds of things," she told The Current. Slager had been living in the U.S. for more than a decade, but the split prompted her to move home to Vancouver Island. Needing both somewhere to live and a new job, she started a Google document and shared it with the people in her life, asking for help. "There were things like a can opener and a cutting board. I got most of the things on my list thanks to everybody giving me their hand-me-downs," she said. While divorce rates have steadily declined in Canada, the cost of doing so can run into thousands of dollars in legal fees (or even tens of thousands in complex, contested cases). Coupled with the costing of living and housing crises, many people struggle with the expense of starting out solo. Some of Slager's friends went off-list and threw in extra items, and a friend's father even gave her furniture. She estimates the value of what she received came to around $15,000 — money she simply didn't have at the time. "Having people offer me things and also asking me what I needed was extremely important," she said. While Slager created her own list, there are companies that offer divorce registries, a service that may be met with a few eyerolls. Some single people point out that their big life events aren't celebrated or supported in the same way, especially when they're already shouldering high costs on a single income. Olivia Howell, who runs a divorce registry based in New York, says that criticism is missing the point. "It's not about celebrating their divorce. It's about supporting them through a life transition," said Howell, who co-founded Fresh Starts. "Giving your friend a new shower curtain or a new toothbrush holder is going to cost you $12 and it's going to mean the world to them," she said. House was 'like a ghost town' Howell started her company four years ago after her own divorce, when her ex-husband moved out and took his belongings with him. "I remember distinctly looking around my house and it was like a ghost town … everything else that was left was from my wedding registry or monogrammed," she said. "It was very hard to heal with that emptiness around me." Her company now offers bundles of items based on budgets, ranging from $99 to $500 US, as well as packages for kitting out specific rooms, like a kitchen or child's bedroom. Her website also connects people with experts on the divorce process, from lawyers and financial experts to counsellors and parenting coaches. She said there are privacy measures in place to protect women who may be fleeing abuse or domestic violence, and some people use the site for other life events, such as a job loss. Howell said one of the most stressful parts of her divorce was figuring out if she could afford to stay in their family home, or would need to move and switch her son's school. "I felt like I was screwing up his whole life and our whole life, and it was just really scary," she said. WATCH | Who gets the pet in a divorce? Changing laws have a say: Who gets the pet in a divorce? Changing laws have a say 1 year ago Duration 1:53 When a mortgage advisor walked her through everything and confirmed she was making just enough to keep the house, she "cried the joyful tears" and knew things would be OK, she said. Eva Sachs, a divorce financial specialist based in Toronto, says that even when a divorce isn't contested, the process can be very complicated. "Our lives are complicated today. We have a house, we may have a cottage, we've got investments, we may have a business, we got pensions," she said. Disentangling all of those complex financial relationships is expensive, she said. Sachs hadn't heard of divorce registries, but says she thinks it's an interesting idea. She regularly sees expenses rack up for her clients, especially if one partner needs to find alternative accommodation but stay close to their kids. She said clients often want to get through the process as quickly as possible, but sometimes it takes time and space to figure out what their goals really are. They may come to her initially saying they want to keep the house, no matter what. But as they discuss financial realities and emotions settle, many will come to realize that they're "actually excited about the opportunities of moving on and starting fresh," she said. 'A lot of men are in the same position' Howell said while the majority of Fresh Starts' clients are millennial women (some studies show women suffer more than men financially following divorce), men use the service, too. "A lot of men are in the same position [that] a lot of women are in. They don't have anything when they start out," she said. "But culturally, a lot of men are told to not ask for help or support, and so it's very hard for them to [reach out]." She thinks that's part of a wider stigma and shame around marriages ending, and hopes her company can remind people of a simple truth: divorce happens. "We move on. We deal with it. It's not going to be fun, but it's going to happen and we're going to support people who are going through it," she said. That support isn't just financial, she added. "When you can fill your home with the items from the people who love and support you, it actually helps bolster your confidence and … make bigger, bolder decisions in life." Slager, who moved back to Canada after her own divorce, said she couldn't have managed without the "tremendous support from my friends that were generous and non-judgmental and just absolutely there for me." When she looks around her home, she feels tempted to add little plaques to all the things that friends gave to help her get back on her feet. "The couch and loveseat came from Andrew and Jocelyn, and the dresser came from Burgl's dad," she said.
