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I had a mental breakdown after my husband died — now no one will talk to me
I had a mental breakdown after my husband died — now no one will talk to me

Yahoo

timea day ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

I had a mental breakdown after my husband died — now no one will talk to me

DEAR ABBY: I live in a very small town. My husband died a year ago and, since then, I have felt like some of these people are angry with me. Six months after he died, I had what my therapist called a 'nervous breakdown.' I know I wasn't myself for some time, and I can't remember much of what I did or said. I have been told I said things to close friends that were unkind and even swore at them. This happened over, maybe, a three-day period. My friends won't tell me what I said. I belong to a card club with these women, and I guess I swore at them and said or did some things that were awful. I haven't been able to express my sorrow for it. I have tried, but no one will tell me what happened. They tell other people, and those people haven't been friendly since then, either. I was kicked out of the club and told I would not be allowed back in. Can you give me some idea of what I can do to make my friends want to be with me again? I'm miserable and need help. — OUTCAST IN IOWA DEAR OUTCAST: I am sure you are miserable. The women in that social group turned their backs on you. Were any of them ever told that you had a psychological break after your husband died and you were under the care of a psychotherapist? If they knew and cannot understand and forgive your outburst, shame on them. Because you can't force anyone to cut you some slack and be kind enough to explain what it was you were saying when you weren't yourself, you will have to look elsewhere for friendship. A discussion with your religious adviser in that small town might be a place to start. P.S. I wonder if what you said to those ladies when you were 'not yourself' was true, which is why they aren't speaking to you. DEAR ABBY: A co-worker of mine is always bashing teachers, mostly about salaries and summers off. If her daughter has to stay after school to get caught up on assignments, it is invariably the teacher's fault. My husband is a retired teacher. He knows that student success is a triangle of teachers, students and parents working together. I know her complaints are not directed at my husband, but I bristle every time I hear them from her. When we moved here for his job 25 years ago, his starting salary was barely above poverty level. Her father was a state legislator who not once voted for teachers. When she speaks, I imagine I am hearing him. Her husband is a former law enforcement officer, and I would never dream of bashing his profession day in and day out. How can I get a word in edgewise and what should it be? –– WONDERING UP NORTH DEAR WONDERING: The next time your co-worker starts in, summon up the backbone to tell her how hard your husband worked for low pay, trying to cram an education into the heads of mostly disinterested students, and how her comments affect you. Say it with feeling, and perhaps she will think twice before opening her mouth on that subject with you. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist
7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist

Yahoo

time5 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist

7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist originally appeared on Parade. If you've ever worked in the corporate world, chances are you've had to sit through a meeting that 100 percent could have been an email. In these situations, it's frustrating and anxiety-inducing to feel like you need to contribute, especially if you have to make a concerted effort to speak up. You might wonder how to politely interrupt from calling your bank to a simple conversation with friends could worsen anxiety, making socializing and connecting with others difficult—much less interrupting during a meeting. If you have social anxiety or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), initiating a comment or stopping yourself from interrupting becomes even more difficult. However, you don't have to have a diagnosed mental health condition to struggle in social settings like a therapist, I often find that my clients and I struggle to interrupt at the right time. Whether it's when a client is telling a story or when I'm helping them arrive at a conclusion about that story, it's difficult to know when to speak up. And because sessions are limited to an hour, there's a lot of information to cover in a short amount of time. It can get awkward if anyone interrupts too much, but it's no one's fault—as long as everyone respects and understands the intention behind interrupting. You can avoid an awkward encounter in any conversation by using these seven phrases to interrupt gracefully and On top of the natural struggle, people's interpretation of how we interrupt them also factors into our mental state. A study from psychology researchers at Cornell University coined the term 'liking gap' to describe the difference between how socially anxious people perceive whether or not someone liked them after a conversation. Because of this gap, people were actually more liked than they perceived themselves to be. So, what does this mean for communication? It means you must self-monitor while communicating or consistently regulate your emotional and behavioral responses. Be mindful of what you say and how you say it to the best of your ability when you have to interrupt someone. When our interruptions are interpreted as rude, it's embarrassing. However, as the study results say, sometimes that perception isn't as bad as we think it Knowing what to say is always beneficial when communicating with someone and helps make the interaction less awkward. Keep these phrases in the back of your mind for the next time you need to interrupt mid-conversation. When you discuss a topic with another person or in a group, not everyone will agree with what's said. Politely asking to offer a different perspective signals that you'd like to contribute without assuming that an additional opinion will be welcome. While an apology isn't always appropriate, there's nothing wrong with doing it before interrupting someone. You aren't admitting fault but acknowledging that you know the interjection could be inconvenient or offensive. You're respecting the other person's speaking time while signaling that you must briefly interrupt It's easy to zone out during a conversation if you're not totally interested. If you need to interrupt, you can leave, showing that you at least understand what's going on in the discussion. Addressing the topic also transitions from the speaker's thoughts to yours to maintain the flow of the conversation. Excuse me is one of the most common ways to interrupt someone. However, it's all about how you say it. Using a calm, respectful tone and waiting for the appropriate moment to interrupt is key to using this statement in a polite way. It also leaves little question about your intent. You can also say this with another phrase like 'Excuse me, do you mind if I butt in,' or 'Excuse me for interrupting, but…' to clarify what you're interrupting. Do you ever want to interrupt someone politely but frankly? This statement has a more direct connotation than other traditionally polite phrases, yet still serves as a socially acceptable way to both acknowledge the significance of the speaker's viewpoint and get your point across. If you're in an academic or professional setting, this phrase is also helpful because it helps you have a voice in the discussion without seeming arrogant or intrusive. Brevity is important when you're interrupting. By first asking for permission and then emphasizing that your comment won't take long, you demonstrate that you care about not disrupting the conversation for an extended period. It also creates a more cooperative dialogue because you're attempting to include a more diverse range of speakers. In most cases, when one person speaks up, others Interrupting doesn't always involve adding something new to the dialogue. You can clarify what someone said if you don't understand or didn't hear it correctly, which is polite because it prevents misunderstandings and miscommunications. Other ways to say this are: 'Sorry, but could you repeat that?' 'Would you mind saying that again?' 'Can you say that a different way?' Talking isn't always the best way to politely interrupt during a conversation. For example, you might have been taught that standing or sitting quietly until someone is finished talking is courteous. This is appropriate for when you're a child, but people might think you're hovering as you get older. Subtlety is your best friend when it comes to finding the best nonverbal form of polite interruption. Raising your hand, nodding, and maintaining eye contact (sometimes with a tilt of your head) are ways to let the person speaking know you have something to say. Since over 50% of communication is nonverbal, these slight, seemingly insignificant movements have more of an impact on how you convey a message than you think. When you want to interrupt someone politely, it's important to be intentional about your verbal and nonverbal communication. The goal isn't to shut down the conversation but to get your point across while still respecting the person speaking. At the end of the day, there's always room for one more voice. Up Next:7 Phrases to Politely Interrupt Someone, According to a Therapist first appeared on Parade on Jun 20, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 20, 2025, where it first appeared.

LIZ JONES: I'm feeling so nostalgic, I unblock David
LIZ JONES: I'm feeling so nostalgic, I unblock David

Daily Mail​

time21-06-2025

  • Lifestyle
  • Daily Mail​

LIZ JONES: I'm feeling so nostalgic, I unblock David

I'm officially in recovery after an horrendous year. I'm seeing my new therapist once a week. I've booked a course of yoga classes at Middleton Lodge, my local country-house hotel. Nic wonders why I don't do yoga at the village hall, but I tell her I need bucolic surroundings: 'Do you want me more depressed?' Middleton Lodge yoga, every Friday at 6.30am, takes place in the walled kitchen garden. I can't stand yoga, but I don't want to lose strength or flexibility as I get older. To improve my self-esteem, I've ordered socks, a grey V-neck sweater and a sleeveless sweatshirt in the sale at Navygrey.

Lies Women Tell Themselves To Stay In Marriages They've Outgrown
Lies Women Tell Themselves To Stay In Marriages They've Outgrown

Yahoo

time20-06-2025

  • General
  • Yahoo

Lies Women Tell Themselves To Stay In Marriages They've Outgrown

Marriage can be an enchanting dance, but sometimes, the music stops, and we find ourselves stepping on toes rather than gracefully gliding across the floor. Whether it's fear, comfort, or just plain stubbornness, women often tell themselves stories to stay put when their hearts are whispering, 'it's time to go.' Here are 15 of those whispered lies, unmasked and unpacked. Optimism is a beautiful trait, but when it becomes a blinding force, it morphs into a dangerous delusion. You might tell yourself that this rough patch is just a phase and that soon, everything will click back into place. The trouble is, sometimes we cling to this hope for years, only to wake up one day and realize time has slipped through our fingers. According to marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman, couples often wait an average of six years of unhappiness before seeking help, a statistic that suggests improvement might not be as inevitable as you'd like to believe. It's easy to cling to the idea that the best is yet to come, especially when the thought of starting anew feels daunting. Yet, when years pass and the problems persist, it's worth questioning whether this future you're betting on is a genuine possibility or just an illusion you've crafted. It's crucial to distinguish between a realistic chance for change and a chronic state of inertia. Sometimes, the only way for things to get better is to take a brave step forward, away from what's familiar. The fear of being labeled selfish can be a powerful deterrent, especially when societal norms whisper that a woman's happiness should be secondary. You convince yourself that wanting more is a flaw, a sign of greed rather than a natural human desire. In doing so, you strip yourself of the rightful pursuit of joy and fulfillment, becoming a martyr in a marriage that doesn't nourish you. But is it truly selfish to crave happiness, or is it more selfish to expect someone to suppress their dreams for the sake of comfort? By telling yourself that your needs are insignificant, you perpetuate a cycle that prioritizes stability over satisfaction. The truth is, healthy relationships thrive on mutual fulfillment, not silent sacrifice. When you embrace this, you open the door to a partnership that respects and cherishes both individuals. It takes courage to stand up for yourself, but in doing so, you create the possibility of a life where happiness is a shared pursuit, not a solitary fantasy. Children are often at the heart of decisions to stick it out, with parents convincing themselves that staying together is a noble act of sacrifice. The belief that a traditional family structure is inherently beneficial can overshadow the reality of the tension and unhappiness it may breed. Research by Dr. E. Mark Cummings, a psychologist at the University of Notre Dame, has shown that children actually thrive in happy environments, regardless of whether parents are together or apart. The quality of parenting, rather than the marital status, has a more significant impact on a child's well-being. By staying in a toxic or stagnant relationship, you might inadvertently model unhealthy dynamics and emotional suppression for your children. Kids are perceptive, and they absorb more than you might give them credit for, including the unspoken resentments and silent treatments. In aiming to protect them, you could be teaching them to settle for less than they deserve. Sometimes, a fresh start for you means a healthier environment for them, one where love is present and palpable, rather than strained and obligatory. Settling into the belief that marriage is synonymous with struggle and compromise can easily become a justification for disharmony. You might look around and see other couples with their own problems, convincing yourself that everyone is merely surviving rather than thriving. By normalizing dissatisfaction, you close yourself off from the possibility that marriages can be both challenging and fulfilling. This lie suggests that happiness is an exception, not the rule. Yet, enduring bitterness and discontent doesn't have to be your reality. When you stop comparing your marriage to others, you free yourself to redefine your standards and expectations. Every relationship has its highs and lows, but believing that yours should be predominantly low stifles growth and contentment. Dare to envision a union that is vibrant and supportive, because that vision could become your guide to a more authentic connection. Financial security is a significant consideration, and the fear of losing stability can feel like a steel trap anchoring you in place. The thought of navigating the financial unknown alone is intimidating, leading you to conclude that enduring the current situation is your only option. A study by the Institute for Women's Policy Research found that many women do face economic insecurity post-divorce, but planning and support can mitigate these risks. The question is whether you're willing to make temporary sacrifices for the possibility of long-term happiness. Believing you can't afford to leave ties your self-worth to economic factors, rather than recognizing your capability to adapt and thrive. While financial concerns are valid, they shouldn't be the sole determinant of your life's trajectory. There are resources and strategies to help you transition into independence, often leading to empowerment and growth. Sometimes, investing in yourself means seeing past the immediate hurdles to the freedom that lies beyond. Age can feel like a daunting barrier, convincing you that starting anew is a young person's game. You tell yourself that at this stage, you should be settling down, not shaking things up. This mindset steals the possibility of renewal, trapping you in a cycle of regret and resignation. But age is just a number, and it's never too late to pursue a life that excites and fulfills you. When you buy into the lie that you're too old, you limit your horizons and underestimate your resilience. The world is filled with stories of people who reinvented themselves later in life, finding joy and purpose beyond their previous imaginations. Your age brings wisdom and experience, tools that can guide you towards a more meaningful future. Embrace the idea that change is a constant, and it's never too late to shape your destiny. The idea of gratitude and obligation can tether you to a relationship long past its expiration date. You might feel indebted to your partner for years of companionship, support, or sacrifices they've made for you. Dr. Andrea Bonior, a psychologist and relationship expert, explains that while gratitude is important, it shouldn't come at the cost of your happiness. Confusing gratitude with obligation can lead to a life where you're trapped by past debts rather than inspired by future possibilities. In reality, a healthy relationship thrives on mutual support and understanding, not guilt or repayment. When you stay out of obligation, you suppress your true desires, ultimately breeding resentment. It's possible to appreciate the past without being bound by it, allowing both partners to pursue lives that align more closely with their current dreams. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to set both of you free. When self-doubt creeps in, it convinces you that your current situation is the pinnacle of what you deserve. You might look at your marriage and think, "This is as good as it gets," even if deep down you know you yearn for more. Settling for less because of a perceived lack of options anchors you in a world of diminished possibilities. But the truth is, your worth isn't defined by your current circumstances. Believing that this is the best you can do underestimates your potential and narrows your view of what happiness can look like. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that any change might lead to something worse, but this fear inhibits growth. Breaking free from this mindset requires recognizing your value and the abundance of opportunities that await. Allow yourself to imagine a life that's aligned with your true desires and strengths, and you might just uncover a reality far better than you've ever known. The fear of loneliness often feels more terrifying than the reality of an unsatisfying partnership. You convince yourself that your partner is your only shot at love, clouding your judgment with scarcity rather than possibility. This mindset traps you in a relationship that lacks joy, simply because the alternative seems too daunting. But love isn't a limited resource, and the world is vast and full of potential connections. When you tell yourself you'll never find anyone else, you dismiss the idea that you are capable of attracting and sustaining love. This belief can keep you tied to unfulfilling partnerships out of fear rather than choice. The truth is, your capacity for love and connection extends beyond your current situation. Embracing this can lead you to explore relationships that match your evolving needs and desires, ultimately enriching your life in ways you can't yet imagine. Family expectations can weigh heavily on your shoulders, guiding decisions more than personal desires. You might fear that leaving your marriage will let them down, especially if they're emotionally invested in your partner. This pressure can lead you to prioritize their happiness over your own, creating a life that looks good on paper but feels empty in your heart. But living your life for others rarely leads to true fulfillment. The fear of disappointing family can be paralyzing, but it's important to remember that your life is yours to live. Your family may have opinions, but they don't live in your marriage or understand its complexities. When you focus on what truly makes you happy, you create the possibility for genuine relationships with both family and future partners. It's time to release the weight of expectations and make choices that honor your journey. The judgment of others can feel like a looming shadow, dictating your choices and silencing your voice. You worry about the whispers and raised eyebrows, wondering how you'll explain yourself to a world that seems quick to judge. This fear of social scrutiny can trap you in an unfulfilling marriage, prioritizing external approval over personal truth. But living in the fear of judgment only stifles your potential for growth and happiness. When you allow the opinions of others to shape your life, you lose touch with your own narrative. The truth is, people will talk regardless of what you do, and their opinions often say more about them than you. By focusing on your own path and values, you cultivate a life grounded in authenticity and courage. Embrace the freedom that comes from releasing the need for validation and living life on your own terms. The commitment of marriage vows can feel like chains when they're rooted in obligation rather than love. You might hold onto these promises with a grip so tight it chokes the life out of your marriage. There's a difference between honoring vows as guiding principles and clinging to them as immutable laws. Your vows were meant to honor love, not imprison it. By holding onto vows at the expense of your well-being, you might miss the opportunity to redefine what commitment truly means. Relationships evolve, and sometimes keeping a vow means being honest about its current impact. When you allow yourself to re-evaluate these promises, you open up possibilities for growth and change, honoring both the past and the future. It's time to view vows as living commitments that adapt and align with your evolving needs and desires. Dismissing your feelings as overreactions can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and complacency. You might question your own experiences, minimizing your emotions to avoid confronting the truth. This self-gaslighting prevents you from honoring your intuition and recognizing the legitimacy of your feelings. But your emotions are valid, and they often hold the key to understanding your deeper needs. When you label your emotions as overreactions, you undermine your sense of self and your ability to advocate for your happiness. Your feelings are a powerful compass, guiding you towards what's truly important. Acknowledging and embracing them allows you to make informed and authentic choices. Trusting your emotions is not an overreaction; it's a courageous step towards self-empowerment and fulfillment. Convincing yourself that the solution lies in changing who you are can be a seductive but destructive lie. You might believe that if you were different—more patient, more understanding, less demanding—the marriage would transform. This self-blame narrative places all responsibility on your shoulders, ignoring the complexities of a relationship dynamic. But true change comes from both partners growing together, not one person morphing to meet unrealistic expectations. When you focus on changing yourself to save a marriage, you risk losing sight of your own identity and needs. A partnership should celebrate and nurture your authentic self, not demand its alteration. Embracing who you are and what you want is essential for building a relationship that supports mutual growth. Sometimes, the most profound change is accepting that you deserve a love that embraces you as you are, not who you might become.

My Adult Daughter Made A Devastating Decision — And I Know Other Parents Can Relate
My Adult Daughter Made A Devastating Decision — And I Know Other Parents Can Relate

Yahoo

time19-06-2025

  • Health
  • Yahoo

My Adult Daughter Made A Devastating Decision — And I Know Other Parents Can Relate

Dear Family Beef, [My] bipolar adult daughter who may also have narcissistic personality disorder has announced that she's cutting off all contact with her wonderful parents (as I would describe us) which means also cutting off contact with grandchildren. I have reached out and spoken to a therapist about this situation and have been told there's nothing that can be done. Do you agree? Cut Off & Crushed Dear Cut Off, First off, I do want to take a minute to acknowledge that the situation you're in must be incredibly difficult for you. To have someone you love decide they don't want to continue being in contact is hard enough without having to miss your grandkids, too. Thefact that you took the step of seeing a therapist suggests that you're relatively receptive to mental health care and maybe even want to work on this relationship on your end — that's not something that can be said for every family! But, that said, I'm going to give you a little bit of tough love, along with some moral support and advice from experts. A recurring theme we're going to find in these columns is that multiple things can be (and are) true at once. That means that while you can be a person who values the connection you have with your daughter and her children, and you're hurting, there can also be a world in which her choice makes sense (and most importantly, it makes sense toher). First, you need to understand that the choice to cut off contact with a loved one is rarely an easy one —and in cases where both parties want connection and reconciliation, it can also be a temporary one. Especially when someone is working with a therapist, the decision is usually made after trying out nearly every other option and approach to ask for a change in the relationship. Think about when you have a long argument with someone and need to walk away for a minute because you're repeating yourself and they aren't getting it, and it feels like there's nothing productive either of you can say. It can be a lot like that. 'It's often the result of deep reflection, countless conversations and many attempts to communicate with care and compassion,' Saba Harouni Lurie, owner and founder of Take Root Therapy, told HuffPost. 'The clients I've worked with who ultimately decide to go no contact typically do so only after trying to approach their family members from every possible angle. They've expressed their needs, set boundaries and opened themselves up in hopes of repair — only to feel repeatedly dismissed, hurt and disempowered. They're not looking to sever ties; in fact, most desperately want the relationship to be different. But after exhausting their efforts, they come to recognize that they cannot change how their family relates to them, and staying in the dynamic causes more harm than good.' Odds are, at least from your daughter's perspective, this could be another attempt to ask you for a change in how you meet each other in your relationship— and she is very likely devastated, too. There might have been a series of conflicts about the same recurring issues leading up to this decision. In some cases, there's emotional or physical abuse or trauma at the core of the decision — either from a family member or because they felt their family didn't protect and support them during that time. 'For these clients, continued contact can become a source of re-traumatization, especially when those responsible can't take accountability or even acknowledge the harm,' Harouni Lurie said. 'It becomes too painful and damaging to remain in [a] relationship with people who haven't been able to show them the care they need. Choosing to go no contact, in these situations, is not about punishment or revenge, but it's an act of self-preservation and protection.' We are working with minimal intel here with the brevity in your note, but what stood out to me (and the experts I spoke with) was the phrasing out of the gate: 'Bipolar adult daughter who may also have narcissistic personality disorder' as the way to refer to your adult child, and only 'wonderful parents' to describe yourselves. To an outside listener, these descriptors feel a little bit like you're dismissing her concerns (whatever they are) because of the diagnoses she may or may not have. And, in the least charitable light, this could hint that you aren't really in a place to take accountability for your part in the story or your own behavior, and that maybe you're not ready to be open and curious to address the heart of the conflict with your daughter. We, as adults, can all admit there are things we've done that we regret: words we've said that weren't as kind or loving as we'd want them to be, and decisions we would take back if given the chance. I can't imagine, no matter how 'wonderful' you consider yourself to be as a parent, that you don't also have those moments. And I can't see a world where her opinions about the way she was raised or the way you speak to her don't matter. 'I know that parents try their best and love their children, but the fact is that we all make mistakes,' said Shay Dubois, a trauma therapist and clinical social worker at Overcome Anxiety & Trauma with Shay. 'One important part is to own their part in the situation. To start from a place of love and want of connection. It is also important to talk with a professional to work through the frustration, anger and grief. It is a huge loss.' Especially for grandparents, processing and acknowledging this grief is crucial in being able to take on the next part of your journey — whatever it ultimately is. My hope is there are ways you can reassure your grandchildren of your love without violating their mother's boundaries. And, of course, you're still worthy of love, support and connection, even if you're in conflict with the people you love most. 'In the case of grandparents, the pain can be especially deep. When a family member goes no contact, particularly when it involves both a parent and a child, it can feel like multiple losses all at once,' Harouni Lurie said. 'These types of losses can be heartbreaking and disorienting. It is painful to feel shut out of your family, especially when you do not feel you had a say in what happened. I would encourage grandparents in this position to allow themselves to grieve and to offer themselves as much compassion as they can.' You are allowed to be hurt and frustrated and angry when you're in conflict, and you can absolutely have those feelings about this situation. It's OK to be baffled and confused, because you don't live in your daughter's head or have her lived experience and don't 'get' it. But saying those feelings are allowed to exist (to be felt and understood by you, the person feeling them) is not the same as saying those feelings should be prioritized over your daughter's feelings, or externalized at her in a toxic way that goes against whatever boundaries she's given you. 'It is OK if the feelings are messy. Therapy can be a helpful space to process these emotions, to receive support and to begin exploring the relationship from different perspectives,' Harouni Lurie said. 'Sometimes this leads to new insight, and sometimes it simply helps someone make peace with what is beyond their control.' Now, to go back to your question: Is there really nothing you can do? The answer is both yes and no. There is nothing you can do to debate, berate or negotiate her out of her decision or her feelings. You cannot make someone talk to you, see you or otherwise want to be close to you when they don't through sheer force of will. There's no convincing someone that they weren't actually hurt or that their hurts aren't that bad. 'It's true that you can't make someone be in relationship with you if they've chosen not to be,' Harouni Lurie said. 'Trying to force contact or dismiss their decision will likely reinforce the reasons they felt the need to step away in the first place. So in that sense, yes, there may be 'nothing you can do' to change their mind and engage again. But that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do at all.' There are things you, a person with agency and love for your family, can do. And your first step of getting in touch with a therapist to talk about this, as you mentioned in your note, is huge. Having a professional third party outside of you and your family as a trustworthy sounding board can do a lot to help prevent miscommunication and further strife. And for anyone who is therapy-skeptical: A therapist will never tell you what to do, but will help you learn some strategies for understanding your own feelings, communicating them and figuring out what steps might help you work toward the outcome you want. That may include advice on how to send a communication that could open the door to reconciling. Assuming that your daughter is working on her side of street to advocate for herself and figure out how a relationship with you could work, it could be an opportunity to meet her in the middle. Is there an opportunity here for you to grow in this silence, too? Is there work you can put in now to honor and regulate your emotions and practice empathy (it's a muscle, baby!) and kindness for both yourself and your daughter? How can you, if you are able to pick up this conversation with your daughter again, do it in a more effective, loving way? 'Respecting the other person's boundaries doesn't mean silencing your own experience. It's possible to honor their needs while also tending to your own pain and doing the work of self-reflection,' Harouni Lurie said. 'That might involve therapy, journaling, talking with trusted loved ones, or just allowing the necessary space. ... On a practical level, it can be helpful to lean on tools that support regulation. That might look like taking walks, spending time in nature, journaling, or talking with people who are safe and supportive. Writing letters that you do not intend to send can be a meaningful way to move through strong emotions and to put words to the pain.' There's a lot that you can do. If you are unwilling to make any changes in how you approach the dynamic with your child — to consider what conditions you both need to feel love and respected, and to acknowledge her feelings with love (even if they don't paint you in a particularly wonderful light), among other things — then you could remain at this impasse for some time. And there might, in fact, be nothing you can do. After I Cut Off Contact From My Mother, I Was Shocked By The Brutal Move My Sisters Made I Haven't Spoken To My Family In Years. People Think I'm A Monster — Here's The Truth. Here's What Therapists Would Tell People Considering Severing Ties With Family Over Politics

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