a day ago
Dislike being bound by the clock? You might be an 'event-timer'
A few years ago, I was 45 minutes late to an anniversary dinner with my then-boyfriend. The mood turned sour immediately because he had to pay pricey parking fees for the additional time I took to arrive.
From then on, his voice had an undertone of resentment. That was not the first time I had been tardy on our dates – on numerous occasions he had to wait for me as I was still commuting when he had already arrived.
I prefer to go along with the flow and move onto a new activity only after completing a previous task, perceiving the 'end' in a more fluid manner than some other people.
In stark contrast, he abides strictly by the clock and when a meeting time is set, deviating from it is inconceivable in his mind.
Our inability to reconcile with how we approached time was one of the reasons we broke up, and that dinner was the last straw.
Looking back on that parting of the ways, I did some research and learnt about concepts that describe the differences in the ways that my ex-boyfriend and I structure our day.
I operate on what behavioural scientists call 'event time', referring to a system where individuals progress at their own internal rhythm, transitioning between tasks when they feel that the last one is finished.
As I was working on a project before our ill-fated meeting, I had hoped to make sure it was done well before heading out so that I would not have to think about it for the rest of the night and could enjoy the meal with him.
To me, this was more important than meeting up at the predetermined time, which of course backfired in the end.
This contrasts with 'clock-timers' who use external cues to guide the way they schedule their actions. If they allocate two hours to finish something, when the two hours have passed, the work is done.
While one way of managing time is not necessarily better than the other, the world operates based on the clock. After all, there are non-negotiable activities like flights and doctors' appointments. Would an entire planeload of passengers wait for you just because you are late?
Productivity and performance expert Charlene Ng said the dominance of clock-time culture reinforces a narrative of failure for anyone who doesn't fit in.
Ms Cindi Wirawan, a career coach, agreed. She said: 'Being an event-timer can be mentally challenging as you could be perceived as disorganised or even unproductive for failing to adhere to schedules.
'They may feel anxious or struggle with guilt whenever they can't keep up.'
However, event timers can push themselves to follow the clock out of necessity, punctually submitting work and respecting others' time in order to be empathetic, dependable friends. This does not mean it is their ideal or preferred method of planning their time.
Looking back at my time with my ex-boyfriend, I wondered if I had tried to adapt to his way of managing time, the relationship might have kept going.
So what are some time management strategies that event-timers can adopt to function better in a world where the clock is dominant?
